Chapter 43 The Story of a Sorrowful Girl - Part 2

 After this, my father has imprisoned me in the basement of his remote palace in the east.
 The room is clean, but it's a small room with iron bars. It was a prison for royalty.
 I was treated as if I were a prisoner, and I wonder if the fact that I was not executed was due to a little bit of remaining parental love.
 At that time, I had resigned myself to the thought that I would never leave this room, where there was no sunlight, and that I would continue to grow old and decay, but to my surprise, I was released after only a month or so.
 It is not that I was forgiven.
 My father died.
 I couldn't believe it.
 A man who had been called "Warmonger," a man who had led his people to destroy the surrounding barbarians, a man who had prided himself on his robust physical strength, had taken ill and died in a matter of days.
 Moreover, my father left a will.
 He had abolished the first prince who had been nominated as the crown prince, and appointed the third prince, that gentle elder brother, as his successor.
 This was a surprise to everyone.
 There was no end of rumors that this was a fabrication, which later led to the situation that the first prince, who was disinherited, revolted claiming that our father was assassinated by the third prince.
 But this was fortunate for me.
 It was too convenient.
 If other half-brothers had taken the throne instead of the gentle brother, I couldn't have violated my father's decision.
 And the first thing my gentle brother did when he took the throne was to free me.
 For a while after that, the palace was in turmoil, as it should be. Although my brother, the third prince, ascended the throne according to our father will, the first and second prince rebelled against him, and they were divided into their own factions, and they were fighting against each other, so that the situation was really at a crossroads.
 Because of such a situation, I cannot visit my brother, the third prince, even though I have been released from the basement of the palace.
 It seems that each faction is trying to find out each other's crusts.
 In such a situation, if I, the half-sister of the kind brother, take an imprudent action, I may be dragging him down.
 And so, I was tormented by the feelings that grew more and more each day, as one year passed and another year passed.
 After three years, the first prince finally revolted, and the second prince responded to him, and for a time it looked as if the war would split the country in two.
 However, the unbelievable happened.
 The first and second princes lost their lives one after another in an accident.
 'Coincidence, let's call it coincidence.'
 Nobles who responded to them were purged or their lands were reduced and their power was cut down, and finally the long-awaited peaceful days came back.
 Immediately I tried to meet the man I loved.
 But this time, my brother will not allow me to do so. When I asked him directly, he only smiled sadly.
 Has my brother changed since he gained power?
 Has he grown tired of getting involved in troubles?
 I wondered so.
 But it was not like that. After a while, I understood the reason.
 My brother was just trying not to hurt me any more.
 Because the man I loved was already married.
 He married the eldest daughter of the same duke's family.
 It's a reasonable marriage, I suppose.
 Surely a member of the royal family can't marry as the second or third wife of a nobleman.
 And the way for her and me to be together was already dead.
 I did not feel betrayed.
 I thought that he had been forced into an unwanted marriage just like me.
 I wrote to him, but he never wrote back... I don't know if he ever received my letter.
 No, I am sure he never received it because he is against my seeing him.
 He was not my enemy, but he was no longer my friend.
 With each passing year, with each passing day, I feel more and more sad.
 My life became more and more bleak because of my helplessness.
 And taking advantage of my brother's acquiescence, I took up the company of beautiful young boys and consumed them just to relieve my pent-up feelings.
 I found that the bedchamber activities, which I used to detest so much, became my only comfort.
 Only during the act, I was able to numb the emptiness.
 I have borne children and shared beds with dozens of men.
 I no longer felt so guilty about the act of being embraced by a men.
 Looking back now, I think that I was obsessed like a beast.
 Such days continued for more than ten years or so.
 One day, while I was in such a state of confusion, I received a letter from the confidant to whom I had entrusted my daughter.
 The letter said that the confidant was now on his sickbed and did not have much longer to live. He would return the daughter to me.
 I was overjoyed.
 My beloved daughter, the fruit of our love, would come back to me.
 But her presence is a royal secret. Things must be handled with care.
 Thus, I have had all the boys around me dyed silver, and even those I have entrusted with the task of gathering the boys to be "the silver-haired boy".
 If word spread that I like to have silver-haired boys around, it would not be natural for me to have a silver-haired girl by my side.
 After a few weeks of sending back replies, my daughter finally came to visit me.
 She was a beautiful girl, with some trace of him, although her expression was a little lacking.
 As she had been carefully raised as the daughter of a close aide, she did not know that I was her real mother.
 Until we met in person, I had thought that I wanted to spoil her as much as I could as a mother, but when we met in person, I could not say that I was her mother, though it was very difficult for me to do so.
 Of course.
 How could such a sullied woman call herself a mother?
 Still, I was happy just to have my daughter by my side.
 Even if I could not come forward, the days I spent with my daughter were irreplaceable.
 However, human desires are unlimited.
 My desire for her grows more and more every day.
 I was gradually becoming aware that for the sake of my daughter, I should rescue the man who was unwillingly bound to the Savignac house.
 I began to gather people to be my hands and feet.
 Like Flovio, the butler, who was recruited from a merchant who frequented the royal court.
 He is a trained assassin from Calcata.
 The merchant said that Calcata assassins never disobey their masters. That's how they are trained.
 Next, I recruited Olga as my personal guard knight.
 At that time, I simply had Amber recommend several skilled knights to me, but she was the ideal candidate because she was not blessed with good relationships, and had only developed a self-consciousness that had prevented her from holding a position commensurate with her abilities.
 She had plenty of ability. Moreover, she had just the right amount of inflection.
 After all, an innocent person cannot be entrusted with a dirty job.
 But then, I received the news of Amber's death.
 He used to be one of my favorite boys.
 I also arranged for his elevation to the position of minister.
 To avenge him, I had someone gather information who killed him, but one name came to mind as I looked into the death of Amber.
 —Valerie Savignac.
 I found the last piece of the plan.
 To have someone from the Savignac family kill me and to have the Savignac family executed that person for that crime.
 The time had finally come for me to carry out my plan.
 At that time, I really thought that the man I loved was waiting for my rescue.
 I thought that I could free him from the Savignac house.
 But if I think about it calmly, I would have immediately understood that he would not be pleased with such a thing.
 I can only say that I just got carried away.
 However, I still decided on a date to carry out the plan and had my butler, Flovio, deliver a letter to him accordingly.
 I told him the whole plan and concluded with a letter saying, "I will be waiting for you in the summer palace", just like that day.
 But in the end, it was only my own idea.

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Edited Kanaa-senpai.
Thanks for reading.
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