Chapter 106 Harue’s Anguish and Change
Edited by: Kanaa-senpai
Maybe I’m not cut out to be a mother.
What kind of parent even thinks like that—lets things get that far—just to… help their son’s?
After that day, Haru-kun stopped giving me massages. I suppose it’d be strange, wouldn’t it? If a mother started asking for things that felt… too personal.
Especially after Haa-chan Mama’s reaction, I didn’t know how to face him anymore.
”Don’t you have something you’ve been meaning to say?”
”I forgot. Must not have been important.”
”You always brush things off like I’m just a kid.”
”H-Haru-kun…”
”It’s about the breech birth, right? Ever since Haa-chan Mama’s story… you’ve been weird.”
I thought I was hiding it well—but he saw right through me.
”Just tell me.”
”B-but… I don’t want to make you uncomfortable.”
”I’m fine. You don’t have to treat me like glass.”
Did he really… help Haa-chan Mama like that?
What if I asked and he said yes?
Would I be relieved? Angry? Jealous?
No. I can’t ask that. If I heard it out loud, I might say something I couldn’t take back.
So at least…
”Um… would you… give me the same massage? The one you gave Haa-chan Mama?”
”…Huh? That one (vaginal message)?”
I’m a mother. I can’t be anything else. I know that.
But still… I want him to touch me again. Like before. Innocently. Comfortingly.
”If you don’t want to, that’s fine! I know it’s probably weird, right?”
”I don’t think it’s weird… not really.”
”B-but… you stopped before…”
”Because I didn’t want to cross a line. I thought… maybe Mom would feel weird if I touched her like that.”
”…Oh.”
”I was scared I’d mess it up. But if you’re okay with it… then yeah. I want to.”
His words hit me deeper than I expected. I love Haru-kun. As my son.
And maybe… a little more than that. But that’s a feeling I’ll never say out loud. Never act on. Never admit.
”Haru-kun!!”
I hugged him. Not tightly. Just long enough to make this moment feel normal. Like it wasn’t strange at all.
Like I was still just a mother.
”So, Mom, why do you even want the massage?”
”Ah… well… I thought it might help. Your dad and I… we’ve been trying for a second child. For about two years now, but… nothing’s happened.”
It’s true, technically. Though I gave up hope last year, the excuse still works.
”And since you said it helped Haa-chan Mama with her… situation…”
”Ah, got it. That’s why you want it.”
I nodded. I’m glad he understood.
For once, I slept soundly. The ache in my heart felt a little duller.
That night, something odd happened.
Haruto noticed something was wrong with Shouma—and quietly treated it.
But Harue didn’t get pregnant.
Haruto doesn’t know… they aren’t trying anymore.
Harue doesn’t know… that Shouma had a condition Haruto somehow fixed.
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Edited by Kanaa-senpai.
Thanks for reading.
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