Volume 13 Chapter 321 Shirogane Aqua, Just a Tour Guest
Edited by: Kanaa-senpai
The last stop of our school trip for Otomezaki Academy High School was the presidential residence—where the President actually works.
”Wow, that was fun. You don’t get to see places like that every day,” one of my classmates said with a grin.
”Yeah! Thanks, Aqua-kun!” another chimed in.
I laughed. “If you’re gonna thank someone, make it President Maitrix, not me.”
President Maitrix had invited us here as an apology for the terrorist incident we were involved in. The place was a tourist spot too, and when it opened to the public like today, it was packed with visitors.
”Hey, hey, Aqua-kun, look! That’s the President’s chair. Try sitting in it!”
”Eh? Am I even allowed to?” I looked over at the tour guide, who smiled and gestured for me to go ahead. Well, if she says so.
”Shintaro! Take a picture of me. I’ll brag to Kohina-senpai when we get back!”
”Sure thing!”
I sat in the very chair President Maitrix used for work. Might as well pretend I’m doing something presidential. I struck a pose for the camera. Shintaro snapped the shot, and soon everyone else—students, tourists, even the PR staff—started taking photos too.
Feeling the energy, I went along with it, throwing out pose after pose.
”Maybe Aqua-kun should just be President already,” someone joked.
”Uh, I posted one of the photos and the President himself commented: ‘Want to try being President in our country?’” another said, half-laughing.
”Same! Prime Minister Habu said the Prime Minister’s seat is open if I want it!”
”Guess you two will have to apologize together tomorrow,” someone teased.
”Classic.”
”You’re all lucky. The official Saint Aqua Church account commented on my post saying, ‘The President or Prime Minister’s seat is too small for Aqua-sama. Please become King—no, God—of the world.’”
”Oof.”
”Yeah, the Saint Aqua Church is getting intense.”
”That’s the problem with religions, you know.”
After everyone had their laughs and took their pictures, I finally sighed. “Alright, that’s enough. Don’t want to hold up the others.”
”Hey! My turn!” Tenga-senpai called out.
”Got it, Tenga-senpai. I’ll take your picture!” I switched places and started snapping away. For Haruka-san’s sake, I had to make Tenga-senpai look cool. Since his own photos were usually random shots of the LA sky or something weird, I’d been secretly forwarding his better photos to Haruka-san through Yui and the others.
Speaking of that, I was still borrowing a company phone. I needed to buy my own once we got home.
”Hey, Shintaro, your turn. You don’t get chances like this often.”
”Yeah, guess so.” He sat down shyly. Nice—he looked way more presidential than me. “Come on, adjust your glasses like this. Perfect!” I’d send that to Awashima-san later, through Yui. Shintaro always sent her our group shots but never ones with himself in them.
”Me too, Aqua!” Toa said, bouncing forward.
”Sure thing!” I laughed and took his photo. He never sent his own pictures to his family out of embarrassment, so I decided I’d send this one to Kanata-san and Subaru-chan. They’d love it.
”Alright, everyone,” the tour guide called out. “Please look this way—this is a hidden passage.”
Wait, did she just say hidden passage? Can you even mention that on a tour? Oh, I guess it’s fine since everyone already knows about it. Okay, sure.
”This,” she continued, pointing, “is the secret tunnel Prime Minister Habu and President Maitrix used last night to sneak out into the town.”
We Otomezaki students, being polite, bowed silently to the nearby locals. Probably another case of our Prime Minister leading the President astray.
”And that’s the end of the tour! Any questions?”
”Haaaaaands up!!” everyone shouted at once.
About an hour later, my stomach suddenly twisted. Oh crap. Maybe that half-raw meat I ate yesterday wasn’t a great idea. The guide looked busy, so I went over to a nearby security lady.
”Excuse me, is there a men’s restroom around here?”
”Yes, there is,” she said kindly.
I slipped away from the group, walking alone.
Man, it’s far. Why’s the men’s restroom always at the end of the world?
”Huh?” I muttered, spotting a paper bag left on the floor. “Who leaves trash here? Guess I’ll throw it out.” I picked it up and carried it outside to a sturdy-looking trash bin.
”This thing’s built like a tank,” I said, reading the sign. Apparently, it was designed to handle explosive waste. Impressive, States.
Then I headed for the restroom and stayed inside for a while.
”Whew… finally better.” I stepped out, feeling lighter. But something looked off—the trash bin’s lid had been blown off. The metal was scorched black.
Wait. That small popping sound I’d heard earlier… was that an explosion?
”Oh man,” I whispered. “Don’t tell me someone actually dumped a bomb in there…”
Good thing it didn’t go off in the crowd. If it had exploded where I found it, there would’ve been over a hundred casualties, easy. I whistled softly and walked back inside.
”Huh?” The hall was empty. No people anywhere—and trash scattered on the floor. “Come on, guys, littering’s not okay.” I bent to clean it up when I felt someone behind me. I turned fast.
”Ah—”
Too late. The person behind me crashed right into my backpack and fell flat on the floor, out cold.
Because I couldn’t train much while we were in the States, I’d packed my backpack full of iron dumbbells and weights today. Of course, a normal fabric or nylon bag wouldn’t survive that load, so I was wearing a military-grade pack—one of those tough ones the U.S. Army uses.
”Ah—sorry! Are you okay?” I said quickly.
No good. She was completely out cold. I’d better tell Ako-san. As I straightened up, another heavy thump sounded behind me. Someone else had gone down.
”Oh no—miss, are you alright!?” I hurried over, but she didn’t respond either.
Now what? While I stood there, caught between two unconscious women, a voice crackled from one of their radios. I noticed both of them had the same kind of transceiver—maybe part of a tour group? I picked one up carefully.
”Um, excuse me. Sorry, but the two of them can’t really answer right now,” I said.
”A man!? Who the hell are you!?” came the sharp reply.
No point trying to dodge. An idol has to be honest. My fans would expect no less.
”Nice to meet you! I’m Shirogane Aqua!”
”What—Shirogane Aqua!?”
The line went dead. Huh? Bad signal maybe?
”Hellooo? Can you hear me?” I raised my voice toward the radio.
”…Why are you there?” the voice came back.
Oh, good, the connection’s back.
”Well, it’s a tour. I was just sightseeing,” I said.
”Liar! You knew about our plan from the start, didn’t you!?”
Plan? What plan? I looked at the notebook sticking out of one woman’s pocket. A scrap of paper peeked from between the pages—something about a “Happy Plan”? Oh, I get it! A surprise party, maybe a flash mob or something.
”I didn’t mean to interrupt your plan,” I said cheerfully. “Tell you what—since the ladies here can’t make it, I’ll head over and help out instead!”
”Huh?”
Yeah, it only felt right. Someone had to make sure the party succeeded. Opening the notebook, I found a map inside.
”Oh! There’s a mark right here,” I murmured. So that must be where the surprise was supposed to happen. I started walking toward it, but my stomach twisted again. Damn that undercooked meat. I never should’ve listened to Tenga-senpai when he said, ‘Just let the smoke touch it, that’s enough.’
”Ah!” I bent over, clutching my gut. My bag’s zipper came loose and one of the iron dumbbells rolled out, clattering across the floor. It hit a woman sprinting toward me, and like dominoes, four more tumbled down behind her, all hitting their heads and collapsing.
”How does that even happen?” I muttered, frozen. “Hey! Are you all okay!?” I patted their cheeks gently. No reaction—totally out.
Great. No signal, no way to call an ambulance. I grabbed one of their radios again.
”Hellooo! This is Shirogane Aqua!”
”…”
Weird. Still no answer. Even if it was an accident, I had to own up.
”Sorry! The five ladies who came this way all passed out, so could someone please call an ambulance? Thanks!”
There. Problem solved, right? I started climbing the stairs they’d come down. Ugh, my stomach again—!
I dropped to one knee, then something slammed into my back. A loud crack echoed behind me. That… sounded like a gunshot? I looked over my shoulder. My military pack had a deep dent where something had hit it. Wait, did it always have that mark when I bought it used? Maybe I just didn’t notice before. It was bulletproof anyway.
”Ah… ah…” came a faint voice.
”Whoa! Are you okay!?” I turned toward the sound. Several women were sitting on the ground, staring wide-eyed, hands trembling.
Oh, I get it now! They must’ve popped their surprise party crackers too early in excitement. But those “crackers” must’ve backfired—everyone’s hands were scraped up.
”Are you alright? I’ll treat you,” I said, smiling and stepping closer.
The women all froze—then one by one, they foamed at the mouth and collapsed.
”Wha—!? Everyone, hang in there!” I shouted. Guns lay scattered around them. Man, these pistol-shaped party crackers looked way too real.
”At this rate, we won’t even have enough people left for the surprise party!” I groaned.
I hurried toward the spot marked on the map. On the way, a few more unlucky accidents happened, and every woman I bumped into somehow ended up fainting too.
Finally, I reached the destination.
”I—I surrender!” a voice shouted.
It was the same woman from the radio. She was kneeling with her hands behind her head, shaking.
Wait… did I just—do something again?
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Edited by Kanaa-senpai.
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