Chapter 80 Their Hidden Troubles
Edited by: Kanaa-senpai
Himawari led me to the back of the grounds. There was a small tea garden, and in the corner stood a tiny waiting hut that looked like an old bus stop. It kept off the snow and rain, and even had a long bench inside.
”Hey, come here. It’s hard to talk while standing in the snow,” she said.
”What a strange place. Having tea outside in this cold is—oh. It’s warm here,” I said.
Inside the little hut, a fire bowl burned under a low ceiling, and someone had already set out hot tea. A stone lantern stood nearby, almost like a timetable for this odd bus stop.
We sat side by side on the long bench. The oni girl next to me did not press me with the same scary mystery as before. Maybe she was relaxed. Her presence felt like something between a wild animal and a normal high school girl.
”So, what did you mean by wanting me to do some promotion?” I asked, trying to confirm her plan. First, I needed to hear her out.
”We want you to tell as many boys as you can about the good things in Isumi Town. Help us raise our reputation,” she said.
”A better reputation, huh.”
She held her cup with long, neat claws. They looked like they should be a problem, but she handled the cup with no trouble.
I copied her and held my own cup, but even though the heat spread through both hands, I still could not relax. After I wet my throat, the warm tea slid down to my center and eased me a little.
”But why me?”
I asked why they could not do it themselves. It seemed there was a reason.
If a local boy spoke well of the town, people would think the girls forced him to say it, or that he was only being stubborn. Their main target was boys, not girls. An unpolished town boy trying too hard to praise his home would only be laughed at at tea parties.
When strangers said good things, the stories sounded more true.
Himawari’s red face showed simple hope with no trick hidden behind it.
”Please? We’re not asking you to move here and marry in. Just help us, okay?” she said.
”I’m tired of helping people. But if it’s a deal, I’ll listen.”
Happy, Himawari began to talk about the charm of Isumi Town and the Eerie Valley. The talk became quite long.
It showed the sad truth of a poor town in this world.
The food from the Eerie Valley was often tasty, because many strange animals lived in the mist. There was no lack of new dishes to try. But hunting was very hard, and the food looked terrible. You could find root maggots, shellfish with many eyes, and even meat that looked like a human shape but was still for eating.
Also, the valley’s dungeon did not give weapons, so town explorers could not hunt for long. One shot from a gun was useless against the huge crab-like monsters in the mist.
Worse creatures crawled through the mist too. Meeting them was far worse. The crab was only a cleaner of the misty sea, low in the food chain.
Most mystical objects from the valley touched the mind—no, they harmed it. They were hard to use and not popular outside the town. Their bad looks gave people the wrong idea, even though the effects were not that bad.
For example, there was a heart-shaped pendant that always looked wet with blood. If you wore it around your neck, you would feel a little kinder and more positive. I never wanted something like that. It seemed made from some person’s heart, torn out and shaped into a charm.
Because of these two big problems, mystical objects from the valley did not sell. No other town or merchant wanted them. Even trading caravans almost never came.
Without money, Isumi Town stayed poor.
In Kujukuri Town, explorers lived well by taking mystical objects from the dungeon. Here, there was no money even if you explored.
It seemed the main problem was that the girls found the look of the items too creepy to bear. Still, if there were boys, people would gather, but most boys did not want to live near a horror-movie-like dungeon. “Isumi Town becomes a nice home once you live there,” was hard to believe when it looked so eerie.
I felt I would have nightmares about monsters walking out of the dungeon door each night.
”Is it really so bad if boys find this place creepy?” I asked.
”Yes. Some even ran away from the town. For a boy, leaving in shame is a great dishonor, so it must have been very hard for them,” she said softly.
The oni girl lowered her face in sadness. Mountain and poor coast towns relied on dungeons for food and daily goods. So if the Eerie Valley was like this, boys could not build a normal life. They felt down just seeing their personal things look like that.
Living in such a town felt unlucky.
”Even the food only looks strange, but boys won’t eat it because of that. Then they become sick in the heart. I want them to live long…” Himawari said. Her voice grew heavy.
Boys had high pride, so no matter how good the taste was, if the food looked bad, they refused. The old idea of meat being unclean still lived in society. Some boys even thought a poor town that ate such food should just die out.
Well, even I would have feelings if my meals were always unknown meat and insect maggots instead of proper rations.
But they had no money to buy rice or miso from other towns often.
”So the look is the problem. Some people just can’t fit with the place. And boys don’t like small towns where they can’t live in comfort,” I said.
A boy who married into a town like this might curse his fate and lose his health. I could understand that. If you fed a clean and proper girl insect maggots every day, she would end up in a hospital.
”So that’s why no one marries in,” I said.
This was the pain of Isumi Town. Slowly, I began to understand.
”That’s right. Fewer boys come to stay with us. It is the same for the boys already living here. Bad talk about the town becomes a heavy worry and hurts their hearts,” she said.
A boy from a strange town would be seen as lower at big tea parties where many towns met. Boys cared a lot about reputation. A complex like that could hurt both mind and body.
With no boys moving in or marrying, the town would vanish. Some towns rose after a dungeon appeared, while others began to fade. Isumi Town was the second kind.
”Maybe this place is just not good for people to live near a dungeon. Why not give up?” I said.
”That’s awful… Why would you say something like that? People lived here before the dungeon appeared. Don’t say things that ruin it,” she cried.
But the women showed great will.
They had explored the Eerie Valley from end to end and finally found a lucky layer. This was the result of many generations of local women working and trying hard.
In the new layer, you could at last get past the red-black world and find land full of flowers and plants. Even though it was the same dungeon, the deeper levels were completely different in feeling. If the story was true, it could really change how people saw the dungeon.
When I asked, Himawari began to speak happily again. Her voice was bright. The sad mood from before was gone. Her red face took on a lively glow, like someone her age who was excited.
She said they planned to sell the food and magic items taken from that new layer on the surface. With the money, they would build a second home outside the town for men, and buy fashionable goods and foreign items from the Imperial Capital and Kyoto so the men could live in luxury. It was a full plan to bring men in from outside and revive the countryside.
But right now, products labeled “from Isumi Town” carried a bad reputation. They wanted me to take away that prejudice.
”Hey, how is it? You tried a lot of things and they weren’t so bad, right? In the new layer, we’ve started finding magic items that look nicer,” she said.
”Uh—” I began.
If their goods became popular, a good cycle would start: some current magic items would become hits and sell well.
She moved close to me and pressed the point. Her sharp claws and teeth showed and made her a little scary.
”You only need to mention it sometimes at tea parties or in social places. Can you do that for us?” she asked.
”I don’t go to many of those gatherings,” I said.
”Please, try. You want money too, right? Aren’t you interested in Isumi Town’s magic items? Of course, we’ll give you some for free if you help promote them!” she said.
Suddenly the talk felt very worldly.
Himawari began to explain other products. Specifically, she wanted me to serve the new layer’s magic items and food at my tea events.
This was a common idea. When ladies at a salon wore or used a product, it became advertising for the rich. If it caught on, demand would flow from the wealthy to common people, and merchants would do anything to get that chance.
”There will be many chances for men to meet each other. We’ll appear even at the provincial government’s big tea event,” she said.
”Well, maybe,” I answered.
”We’re not asking for results right away. It can take years. Start by showing them that the town is not as bad as the rumors say,” she added.
Her persuasion was serious.
In short, she wanted me to act inside a male-dominated society to wash away Isumi Town’s bad image, sell the Eerie Valley as a sight to visit, and make the magic items a local specialty. I would be their public face.
How many men a town could attract was very important. Living in a famous place or a good area gave people, through the ages, a quiet feeling of status and pride. The opposite was true too. No one wanted to live in a town with a bad reputation; everyone wanted a place others would envy.
”This can only be done by a man who doesn’t dislike how we look. It has to be you,” she said.
Her face was grave.
The oni woman always seemed a little afraid when I looked at her. I guessed they had suffered for many years because of impressions. Maybe parents and children had borne that pain for generations. It was an old but poor town.
The little red oni girl was small. By appearance alone, I did not feel disgust or want to avoid her.
”What do I get out of it? What will you do for me if I do this?” I asked.
”I told you—conditions,” she said.
”You mean custody of the three, right?” I asked.
She nodded strongly.
”Also, the town’s situation would change. If you want, we’ll make a formal peace with Kujukuri Town. Kujukuri is fighting barbarians north of Inubou. If the war ends, we could join their cause. What do you think? Not a bad deal, right?” she asked.
It sounded like a very generous offer.
”This is a long-held wish of our town. If it succeeds, everyone will be happy. We won’t be hated by men anymore,” she said.
Her words had a touch of earnestness that reached my chest.
”My dream is to have men come to our town happily. But it is not only my dream. From my grandmother’s grandmother onward, we have all dreamed this,” she said with joy.
If this immortal oni woman stood with them, that would be strong support.
Still, this was a matter of the town’s public good and beyond my power to decide. That needed talks among high people. I could not promise anything, and even if I replied, it would mean nothing as a guarantee.
That was roughly her plan.
I began to see why they had secured my custody, even if their methods were crude.
But the important nobles of Kujukuri Town still wanted to destroy Isumi Town. That would not be easy to change.
If the men who had been kidnapped gave up revenge, the town would truly be scorned and ruined by its neighbors.
”I understand why you wanted me to see the town once. You must have heard something about my nature and relied on it,” I said.
It was quite a gamble. They were betting almost entirely on my taste. If I hated Isumi Town, nothing would come of it.
Where did they learn that I was a human who did not hate women? They kidnapped me based on that, so they must have had some prior information.
Their judgment seemed a little too sweet to me.
Still, there was no sign of lies in Himawari’s words. She seemed to trust me from her heart. I did not feel a trick in her tone.
After she told me the truth, I gave my honest opinion in return.
”But it’s impossible. The important people in Kujukuri Town won’t accept it. They kidnapped me, and Isumi Town’s reputation is already the worst,” I said.
That was something that would be clear soon enough.
Isumi Town was already surrounded and alone. Before my promotion work began, there was no guarantee the town would survive.
But she did not seem to mind much.
”No need for concern. We have a plan for that,” she said.
”Oh? Is that so?” I replied.
It was a simple answer. I did not really feel worried.
”Also, if it was such a simple story, you could have just asked me normally instead of kidnapping me,” I said.
I said it with a little dissatisfaction.
You could have sent a letter or something to me.
It wasn’t that I cared about this town. I only thought that if they had asked normally, I might not have needed a second trip into this place. The thought almost made me regret things.
Her answer came cold.
”No man would come. No one wants to visit a creepy town like this, walk around, and taste the local things,” Himawari said as if it were obvious.
”No man has ever wanted to come play in our town. It’s impossible for us. We just can’t…” she added.
She judged her own town very clearly. Or maybe years of harsh words from men had crushed her confidence.
She was usually bright, yet sometimes I saw a wound inside from something a man had said before. Her feelings seemed unstable. Even if she was born with a sunny nature, her life around her had been hard.
”Your Imperial Guard would never allow it. They won’t let any voice reach you. It’s very hard to get you to visit in person,” she said.
”Well… yes. Even if I agreed, the people around me would stop it,” I said.
I imagined my guards. Even if we sent letters again and again, even if we weren’t at war, no one would let me walk into another town’s plan. They would crush the letter before it reached me.
By using my small psionic power to peek at the office, I knew that more than nine out of ten requests for me went straight into the trash.
”But you still came. It was by force, but you didn’t find me creepy. You even listened. You showed kindness to a woman. Our gamble won,” she said with pride.
She seemed pleased.
But I could not agree at all. She expected too much goodness from me.
”Don’t get the wrong idea. I don’t care about the women of this town. I can’t promise to keep my word. I might even spread bad talk about the kidnappers later,” I said.
”No, you won’t. You were our hope from the start,” she said.
She looked straight at me and said it like a fact. She had a strange, firm belief.
Why, after doing this to me?
Normally, a man would never speak with people who kidnapped him. He would be too hurt inside to even look at them.
If she expected anything from that hair-charm thing, she was wrong. It was only a small distraction. I would not hurt myself by showing useless kindness to people who might die soon anyway.
Such things meant nothing.
”It suits me if you think that, so I won’t correct you,” I said.
”Fine. We’ll think that way too,” she replied.
Himawari spoke with the same kind of logic I used. It annoyed me. Her blind trust in goodness reminded me too much of myself.
Expecting too much from others was never a good thing.
If everyone here was killed, that would simply be the way of the times. I could drink tea in a private room while hearing the news. If I didn’t like it, I could cover my ears. This time, I would do nothing.
That was the ending of trying to help town people and losing Kaede-san’s life.
I was too scared to act again.
”Let me think about the promotion,” I said.
When I asked for time, she set the tea tray down and answered with joy. Her expressions changed so fast that she seemed like a child.
”Of course! …I want to say that, but I’m sorry. Your town may attack soon. We need your answer before that,” she said.
”How long?”
”Two full days. That’s the limit,” she said.
At least she understood the situation.
I bit back the words “I’ll talk with my guards first.”
Right now, I was so tired that I could barely stand. Only by pushing down all feelings could I keep talking at all.
Death was being decided so simply. I had reached my limit.
Snow began piling on the roof of the little hut. Thick grey clouds hung heavy in the sky. There was no wind, and the cold snow seemed to sit like mud above us, not moving at all. I didn’t want to think anymore. I felt empty, like this colorless, cold scene.
In the dull, silent air, Himawari spoke quietly.
”Hey. I’m sorry we killed your Imperial Guard.”
Her voice sounded guilty, small, almost like an excuse. But she spoke her uneasy feelings honestly.
Her sudden apology surprised me. It didn’t match a woman who killed many on the field.
”It wasn’t the plan. My head got hot,” she said.
”…Is that so?”
She nodded, and I answered without looking at her. I watched the snow gather outside the hut.
We sat side by side in silence for a while.
Thinking back, even though she was young, she lived a life far closer to death than mine. She feared me because I was a man, but I also felt fear of her.
Himawari broke the stillness in a quiet voice.
”…We thought those two served you. To make a good impression, we planned to take intruders alive.”
Two faces rose in my mind and scratched at my heart. Hearing this now meant nothing. It would not bring them back.
”We killed your childhood friend too. It’s war. It couldn’t be helped,” I said.
People die. We also meant to kill. The side that kills enough to make the other surrender first wins. War was part of this world’s daily life.
My tone made her little red face twist in pain. A man’s discomfort hurt a woman too.
But I could not soften it.
”This time… we didn’t do it because we hated you. So please don’t hate the town people for it,” she said.
”Kidnapping me was too much. I dislike you. But I don’t feel anything like that toward the people of this town,” I said.
She didn’t meet my eyes.
I wasn’t sure what she wanted to say. From the pieces I had heard, this war was started by their side against Kujukuri Town. I had been kidnapped as a result, but that didn’t mean the whole town agreed with the war or the kidnapping.
Since coming here, sadly, I hadn’t seen any real ill will toward me from the women. If they had hated me, I could have hated them back.
Himawari asked with a troubled look, “Were you close with those two?”
”Those two?”
”The Imperial Guards I cut down.”
”What does it matter? They’re gone,” I said.
To me, her question felt far too blunt. She had no shadow of guilt about killing in battle, and she asked it as a simple question.
When I ignored her for a while with a sour face, she looked oddly pleased.
”You’re kind. I can tell these things,” Himawari said with pride.
There was something both strange and soft in her tone, and it made me dislike it even more.
My voice came out sharp before I could stop it. “What are you talking about?”
”You’re angry because a close Imperial Guard was killed, right? Anger is a good way to cover sadness,” she said.
She kept watching me from the seat beside mine. Her gentle gaze was too much to bear.
”You’re not upset about losing your own men. You’re angry because you lost someone close. I understand that feeling well,” she said.
”What? That makes no sense,” I snapped.
I knew such a tone was bad for any deal, but the way she seemed to know my inside made me sick.
She would never understand how someone like me from another world thought. Men were usually dull to a woman’s death. And I could not understand her feelings either. Women treated women’s lives lightly, and in battle they should think of themselves first.
I was too weak for the battlefield. I would run or freeze and die as a burden. We stood on different ground.
Silence returned. Soon, several women came from the house. More and more gathered with no order and stood before us.
”Who are they?” I asked.
Maybe the maids came to bring us inside out of the cold.
Before I knew it, more than twenty women stood there, staring. Their clothes were simple. They had dressed up as best they could without even snow gear. They looked from their teens to their thirties, thin bodies tied with belts, wearing their best to stand before a man. In the grey world, their red hairpins and camellia flowers stood out.
Himawari gave no explanation.
The women bowed their heads, tense and silent. I had no choice but to speak first.
”What is it, ladies? You may raise your heads. It’s fine to talk normally,” I said.
Even with my permission, they did not move. That was how townspeople acted toward someone of rank.
Their quiet was not frightening. My life was always in danger anyway, and I felt numb. Even if they did something cruel now, I might not even think it wrong.
They were all going to die. Women died easily. If Kujukuri Town attacked, many here would not live.
Knowing that, I only felt pity.
”Your Lordship…” one whispered.
”Yes?” I answered.
”We… we have met once before…” she said, then fell silent again.
She knelt on the gravel in the snow, and others followed. Their fine clothes were getting stained, which felt like a waste.
Were their legs not freezing? I stood and walked closer. Without kneeling, I lowered myself a little to meet her eyes.
A faint musty smell, hollow cheeks, yet a clear and pretty face.
I did not know her. What did she want? Who were they?
”Hm?”
No—something brushed my memory. I did know them.
”Who were you again?” I murmured.
I looked from face to face. Yes. I had seen them all somewhere, even though I knew no one in Isumi Town.
”We met once. But I don’t remember where.”
I almost brushed her hair aside to see her face better, but that was not proper. Instead, I told her to lift her chin so I could see.
She was young, still in her teens.
She struggled to speak. From her clothes and fear, she was clearly a towns-woman, not a guard or noble.
The silence felt heavy, but it was only fear of talking to a man.
After thinking hard, I finally found the memory.
”Oh. Right. You were at the cave base. You survived. I’m glad,” I said.
The fog in my head cleared.
She was one of the explorers I first met in the Eerie Valley. When Kaede-san’s group broke into the crack in the rock, she had been inside. The other women here were the same.
”So everyone made it back to town,” I said.
At last, the woman in front could not keep quiet. Her lips shook.
”W-we wished to thank you. Truly, truly… for the chance to— to…” she stuttered.
”It’s fine. Take your time. Don’t worry about your wording,” I said.
She shook so much she looked close to tears. A normal town girl never spoke to someone of rank this close.
For once, I felt a little soft toward her.
”We only wanted to show thanks. I—I’m so sorry, the words won’t—”
”It’s okay. Relax. It’s normal to feel nervous talking to a man,” I said.
”My… my throat closes up. Forgive me,” she said.
”It’s okay. I’m not angry.”
But each time she forced herself to speak, she froze again. This was the natural distance between men and women when neither was noble.
This didn’t feel like a talk between two people at all. It felt empty.
”This is our first time meeting like this, though it’s the second time I’ve seen your face,” I said.
Knowing I remembered her helped her speak.
”So you truly were there… even if unseen,” she said quietly.
She asked with care.
To be honest, I didn’t know why she was here or why she wanted to thank me. She had never seen me directly. Yet somehow, she seemed to know who I was.
”…I had a way. I saw you through the Imperial Guard,” I admitted.
There was little risk in saying this much. If she already guessed, hiding it meant nothing.
I remembered her well. She was the one who caused my serious injury.
She was the pregnant woman Kaede-san almost killed to force information out of, the one Kaede-san shielded as a substitute. In the end, she had held her swollen belly, looked back at us with a puzzled expression, then vanished into the night. I never knew what happened after.
”But your stomach… it’s gone down. What happened to the child?” I asked.
Her belly was smaller now. Two months had passed. Still on her knees, she answered.
”The child in my belly was a forbidden one, born against the edict… but since I returned alive, they turned a blind eye. I was allowed to give birth safely.”
”I’m glad,” I said.
Thinking now, maybe Kaede-san’s fate had been sealed that night.
A woman who wounds a man deeply carries a cross on her back. She starts to curse herself. Most end up ruining their lives or choosing self-sacrifice.
It was good the baby survived. It was… but—
My mind flashed with the feeling of Kaede-san’s hand on my head when she patted me.
It was awful to think, but I wondered if that baby was truly worth Kaede-san and Kiri-san’s lives. It was too late. There was no point comparing. I would never touch that worn, scarred hand again.
To brush that feeling away, I spoke.
”Then… how did you know I was nearby watching?”
Back then, only Kaede-san could see me. Ordinary people had no way to know. They had only run when the Imperial Guards suddenly acted strangely.
She swallowed hard before speaking.
”No… that’s not it.”
Her lips formed white breath in the cold.
”When we survived, well… something felt wrong, and…”
She searched for words.
”We didn’t notice then. But later, we talked about it. After we returned to town alive.”
The thin woman lowered her face again. Her fingers on the snowy ground were red with cold.
”I was desperate to protect my baby. At first, I thought it was a blessing from Buddha. But it made no sense for them to stop like that. It wasn’t just luck.”
She trembled, recalling her fear. She had been one step from death. Without me, she and her child would have died.
I remembered how she clutched her belly. And Kaede-san’s clenched fist. Even now, I felt it.
”So… someone must have been there,” she whispered.
Her voice was stiff. Imperial Guards were terrifying to her. Bullets didn’t stop them, and they had no mercy for townsfolk.
As expected, a blow had come to crush her stomach—but I took it instead.
”It had to be someone with the status to stop those cold Imperial Guards. There’s no one who would do that for me,” she said.
”…Yes. That’s true,” I said.
No guard would try hard to find a missing townswoman. At most, they might stop a thug in the street.
Even scared, she did not stop checking her guess. The other women listened breathlessly.
”No one would care enough to save a mere townswoman. No one. But those heartless Imperial Guards were… shaken…”
Her voice trailed, but she seemed half-certain.
”It felt like a woman being scolded by a man. So…”
A violent Psionic Power user was more frightening than a monster. And the only thing that scared them was a man.
I gently urged her to continue so she wouldn’t panic.
I didn’t know what happened after they fled the cave. I fainted, and after that I knew little. Our infiltration had failed. The women who escaped had told the officials, which started everything.
Kaede-san’s group fled, and that was the beginning of it all.
They broke their promise and leaked what happened. When I asked about it, the woman did not make excuses. She only blamed herself and apologized again and again.
I hated that typical feminine response.
It couldn’t be helped.
Ordinary women who explored the dungeon weren’t high-status. When they crawled back half-dead and officials questioned them, there was no way to keep such a secret. Psionic Power and magic items existed to rip truths out of people.
”S-sorry… truly… I am so… sorry…”
”It’s fine. It was impossible to hide anyway,” I said.
She cried quietly. Talking to a man added to her emotion—and she knew the promise she broke was also with me.
Even so, she didn’t stop speaking through her pain.
”We were meant to die. Nine times out of ten we should have died. You saved us. And we… never thanked you… not once…”
She pressed her forehead to the ground. The others did the same.
”…Thank you. Truly… thank you,” she said.
It was like I was a great Buddha statue. More than twenty women bowed as if in worship.
In the cold winter yard, snow settled on our backs. No one brushed it off.
They were human. Alive. I had forgotten that. They weren’t just symbols of tragedy around me. They were here, thanking me.
Himawari stood beside me, watching in silence. At last, she spoke, her voice bitter with regret.
”…The only reason your three Imperial Guards are still alive is because those women kept begging for them,” she said.
The women did not move in the snow. Himawari explained instead.
”They said: he must be a kind Lord if his Imperial Guards show mercy to women. If he values women, then don’t kill them. Hostages might work. He might save the town. That’s what they said.”
Himawari had not believed them.
As someone responsible for running the town, she couldn’t act on the townsfolk’s wishful thinking.
”No matter how many times we turned them away, they wouldn’t give up,” Himawari said. “Some even stayed at the gate for three nights in the freezing cold. If we left them, they would’ve died there… In the end, they convinced us.”
There had been no mercy in the Valley of Unease. At first, Himawari would have killed us all. But as more people from the Town arrived, talk shifted toward negotiation. Maybe they made it just in time. When the three were captured, the plan changed—to kidnap me instead.
”…I see,” I said.
My hand stayed away from my coat. If I showed them the scar on my stomach, it would answer their doubts… but it would only hurt them more. I didn’t want that. Instead, I showed my heart with words.
”I wanted to give my thanks… but after causing all this, I can never apologise enough,” she said.
”No. I should be thanking you,” I said.
Yes, I saved them. But not to be thanked. I just couldn’t accept killing. I forced a rescue I couldn’t even take responsibility for. “Thank you for living.”
She kept blaming herself. She thought the kidnapping was her fault—because she broke the promise and reported the intruders.
The others carried the same guilt. But I needed to apologise to them.
”I’m sorry I thought women’s lives were cheap.”
I couldn’t cry anymore. I was too dry inside for grief to comfort me.
”Sorry I thought women don’t value life. Sorry I assumed even if I saved you, you’d forget it right away.”
The loss of people close to me had numbed my emotions. I had lost joy and sadness—so death felt normal.
”You were all alive. I regret letting you go, and I even thought I shouldn’t have saved you. I’m sorry for that.”
I was the one who hadn’t looked at their lives properly.
Until this moment, I hadn’t realised they kept breathing, thinking, living. I saved them, then decided it meant nothing.
”I never even thought of you until today. I didn’t remember you at all.”
Meanwhile, they had lived with guilt and gratitude all this time.
I hadn’t expected repayment. But there were times I resented them. When you help others and get hurt for it, no one praises you—people scold you instead. With my twisted values, resentment was unfair. But it was true: I had felt it.
In this cruel world where people die easily, kindness is mocked as foolish.
”…Thank you. It was thanks to you,” I said.
Because of them, Trash-san, Flatty-chan, and Natsume-san survived. Even if the Town had its own motives, those three being alive was because the Town’s people stopped themselves from acting out of rage.
I felt a little saved. I thanked the trembling women again.
”I’m really happy you helped them. They’re precious to me. If they’d died, I don’t think I could go on.”
”I—we… ah, n-no… w-we don’t deserve thanks… b-because—”
She was overwhelmed.
”It’s not like that. I’m glad I saved you back then,” I said.
Maybe half my words slipped past them. Gratitude and apology from a noble were too heavy for them to hold. They thought my suffering was their fault.
But I felt their pain and gratitude.
Himawari spoke for them, recounting what happened.
”I was going to kill every intruder.”
It was a natural decision as someone defending her Town. Hearing it plainly still chilled me.
”But when those Town women came back alive, saying there might be a man who’s kind to women… a man unbelievably kind… we decided to gamble our Town’s fate on you.”
She scratched her head awkwardly.
”At first I didn’t believe it. I was furious. Things got confused and… I killed two. That was my failure.”
Her voice sank.
Despite being in authority, she cared about the voices of her own people. For a woman of this world, that was rare—noble women wouldn’t even consider commoners’ opinions.
I asked her, “So we were just killing each other because of a misunderstanding?”
Had she always intended to talk to me?
”No. I didn’t believe someone like you existed. I believed these desperate Town women instead. But when you came, and we spoke, I understood.”
Her gaze met mine directly. She had been trying to judge me honestly from the start—while I avoided judging her fairly.
”You’ll help our Town. You won’t lie or spread slander.”
She meant it. She didn’t look away. She had been trying to judge me honestly from the start—while I avoided judging her fairly.
I stood in the falling snow, silent for a moment.
”…We should go inside. It’s cold. You’ll catch a chill,” I murmured.
My joints were stiff with cold.
”Come on. Look, your hands are freezing.”
”Y-yes…!”
I helped the kneeling women stand. If I didn’t, they wouldn’t move. It would be absurd if they survived only to die of a cold.
The brazier in the waiting room didn’t warm my heart. But through my hands, it warmed them.
I had believed helping others never returned anything.
I was wrong. It had returned to me. Three lives remained. That was something.
I wouldn’t cut my hair and offer it again. But this time, I prayed they would all live long, full lives.
It was no comfort to the dead, but it was a little salvation for me. The scar on my stomach, which I used to hate, was now slightly less hateful.
Kaede-san and Kiri-san were beyond saving.
But I hadn’t lost everything.
Notes:
• Himawari – Young oni/aberration-type psionic; town leader/face; asks for promotion help; apologizes for killings; sets 2‑day deadline.
• Kaede – A female psionic explorer known as Necksplitter, is a veteran assassin and messenger of Lord Ichimatsu. Her appearance is both young and old, with gray hair streaked through black and vibrant, unlined skin. She is graceful yet carries the fatigue of a long life in war, resembling an old hunting dog. Her psionic ability is mysterious and potentially dangerous.
• Kiri – A female sniper and member of Kaede-san’s team, white-haired with sleepy eyes, wielding a disguised sniper rifle, known for her quick hands and slow speech, often joking in dire situations.
• Psionic Power – Mental energy concept in Chapter 35’s lecture. Trash-san teaches it to strengthen the protagonist’s mind after dungeon ordeals.
• Natsume – A female companion and younger sister of Kaede-san, cared for by Kaede-san during their journey through the dangerous valley, at risk of infection from the parasitic creatures.
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Edited by Kanaa-senpai.
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