Chapter 16 The Ominous Welcome Banquet
Edited by: Kanaa-senpai
Ta-tan-ta~ta~ta-ta-ta~ta-ta-taaa!
”Cough! This tune… wait, is that—?”
Alexia blinked beside me. “What’s wrong, Shin-kun? You okay?”
”Y-yeah, I’m fine, Alexia.” I forced a grin, but the orchestra had just started playing a suspiciously familiar melody — one ripped straight from that famous RPG Dora-something. I couldn’t help it; I nearly snorted out loud.
Why on earth was my brother Saghir—the heir to our house—entering to that tune? Shouldn’t a villain have, I dunno, darker theme music?
”HA-HA-HA! Even on short notice, such a grand turnout for my return! I, Saghir Seyfried, soon-to-be lord of this territory, offer my gracious thanks, my loyal subjects!”
I froze mid-applause. Who the hell was that blond blob waddling in? And why was he calling himself my brother?
”Wasn’t it five years since Saghir-sama last returned?” someone whispered.
”Indeed. He’s… grown in ways unexpected.”
”And the girl with him—his lover? She’s practically a child!”
The half of the crowd loyal to him buzzed uneasily. Couldn’t blame them. The man looked like he’d lost a duel with a bakery. Still laughing, still flashing that yellow, gap-toothed grin.
What kind of breeding experiment had gone wrong here? How did our noble bloodline evolve into… that?
”Speechless with joy at my return, are you?” he roared. “Fear not! When I become lord, all who flatter me shall be rewarded! HA-HA-HA!”
Right in front of Father, too. Bold move, Porky. Father just sighed and pressed his fingers to his temple, teetering between wrath and resignation.
That was Saghir Seyfried—my elder brother, the once-handsome heir. Eight or nine years older, I think? Been so long I’d almost forgotten his face.
In the Maidens × Cross-dressing game, he was one of the main antagonists alongside me, fated to clash with the man-hating heroine Alexia. In every route, he brought ruin to the house, to our father, to everyone. Genius turned tyrant—just like I could’ve been if I hadn’t remembered my past life.
But oh, how the mighty have melted. My dashing, golden-haired brother had morphed into a sweating butterball. Sad, really.
His hair glistened—no, gleamed—with oil. I doubted he bathed regularly.
Was it fate that twisted him so? Maybe some butterfly effect from my changed storyline?
”Well, fate or not,” I muttered, “as long as it doesn’t drag Alexia or me down, who cares.”
Alexia tilted her head. “Me and Shin-kun? What do you mean?”
Her clear gaze met mine—pure enough to rinse my retinas clean of Saghir’s image. “N-nothing,” I said quickly. “Anyway, the dance’s about to start. Shall we?”
”Uuh… you think I can dance okay?” she murmured.
”Of course. I’ll guide you. You’ve got me, don’t you?”
”When you say it like that, Shin-kun… okay! I’ll try my best!”
”That’s the spirit. Step by step, Alexia—you’ll be unstoppable one day.”
In the game, Alexia was the ultimate boss. But here, she was still blooming, still human. And maybe—just maybe—I wanted her to reach a happy ending this time. Even if I couldn’t stay to see it.
So we ignored Saghir’s monologue and started dancing to the orchestra’s overwrought melody.
”Shin-sama! Alexia-sama! Don’t leave me out! Layla wants in toooo!”
And just like that, Layla crashed into us, turning our waltz into a three-person tumble. Jealous, maybe. Adorable, definitely. Honestly? This was way better than listening to Saghir’s heroic tales.
* * *
Meanwhile, my dear brother held court alone for a solid thirty minutes, bragging about duels at Alys Magic Academy and the ‘glorious’ life in the capital. I danced nonstop between Alexia and Layla, the girls swapping turns like tag-teaming my exhaustion. Unfair, but cute.
”HA-HA-HA! And then I even defeated a mage from Craftlark Kingdom! Impressive, right?” he boomed.
I sighed. “Bit much on the self-storytelling, don’t you think?”
”You bested a mage from Craftlark Kingdom?” one noble muttered. “Was that a duel? If illegal, it could spark an international incident!”
Another hissed back, “Chose the wrong son to favor, perhaps? The younger one’s a sword-crazed brat, always running through the hills. Seyfried’s future looks grim.”
And of course, they made sure to whisper just loud enough for me—Shin Seyfried—to hear.
Yeah, go ahead. Ruin my reputation further. That’s fine. The lower I fall in their eyes, the sooner I’ll be cast out. And then—freedom. My grand slow life plan in some border village awaits.
Then Saghir puffed his chest. “And beside me stands my beloved, the only daughter of the Scarlet noble house—Hollow Rose Scarlet!”
I froze. Wait. What?
Hollow Rose Scarlet. The crimson-haired tsundere villainess from Maidens × Cross-dressing. One of the top three heroines. In the game, she was my lover. My doomed lover.
In that story, she adored me so deeply it drove her mad. She tried to understand my cruelty, to love me through it… until she broke. Then came Alexia, her emotional mirror. They found what true love meant together—and, yeah, I got my head chopped off. Good times.
Now, in this warped reality, Hollow wasn’t my lover at all. She was my brother’s. My brother, the golden pig. Complex feelings? Oh, absolutely.
And let’s not skip the math: Saghir’s nearly thirty, Hollow’s my age. Congratulations, brother—you’ve unlocked Lolicon Mode.
The murmurs spread like wildfire:
”Scarlet’s daughter? With him?”
”Too big an age gap!”
”Hardly unusual in noble circles. Think of the alliance power! Money will flow.”
The air thickened with envy and calculation. Hollow stood tall amid it all, regal and radiant. No one could ignore the military lineage in that fiery hair.
”Hollow Rose Scarlet,” I muttered under my breath. “What cosmic prank is this?”
Alexia tugged my sleeve, eyes anxious. “Shin-kun… do you know her?”
If I made her anxious now, it’d be off-with-my-head later. Time to vanish into mobhood. Blend in. Evaporate.
Then Hollow’s voice rang, clear as a bell. “Summon the boy who resembles Christina-sama.”
Saghir turned, confused, then sneered. “My mother’s lookalike? Oh, him. My foolish brother, Shin Seyfried.”
”…Shin,” she called.
Oh perfect. The one time I swear to stay invisible, fate yells my name across a ballroom. Thanks, universe.
”Come here at once, son of Christina,” Hollow commanded.
”Indeed! Come, fool! My Hollow calls for you!”
The whispers reignited:
”So that’s the wild brat from the hills.”
”Heard he’s been keeping company with some minor noble’s daughter in town.”
Hollow barked orders like a trained warhound; Saghir grunted beside her like an overfed boar. The guests weren’t far behind—buzzing like flies.
”Yeah, yeah. Coming now~,” I sighed, smiling like the world’s politest hostage.
Stay humble, stay quiet. Both Hollow and the Pig will hound anyone who resists. I’d rather not be their chew toy.
Alexia and Layla each pinched my sleeve gently, worried. “Shin-kun…” “Shin-sama…” Adorable, honestly.
”It’s fine,” I whispered. “I haven’t wronged them, so they can’t do much, right? Ha-ha.”
Feigning calm, I walked toward the duo, the spotlight burning holes in my composure.
* * *
”Long time no see, Brother Saghir,” I said, bowing low. “You’ve… expanded. To come all the way past the Scarlet border just to meet me—truly touching.”
I dropped into a perfect dogeza before them.
Better to crawl than to provoke. True nobles were dangerous animals, and humility was armor.
”…Shin. What are you doing?” Father’s voice trembled, heavy with shame.
Sorry, Father. I can read that look from here. You don’t want me to make enemies—but hey, this is how I survive the circus.
”I didn’t come here to see you, fool. We’ve only met a few times when you snuck into the capital. Why are you groveling on the floor? Raise your hea—”
”Raise your head. Pathetic. Are you even a man?” Hollow’s voice sliced through Saghir’s pompous drawl.
Before my so-called brother could retort, she seized my wrist and hauled me up. Good grief—she was strong enough to lift a horse.
Saghir grinned. “Ho-ho! Foolish brother, you’ve grown to look like Mother. Perhaps I should take you to the capital and find you a bride, eh? Guhi—!”
Up close, his face glistened like a buttered roast. Bathing clearly wasn’t on his schedule.
”Ah, I’ll pass, my great Elder Brother,” I said with my best deadpan.
”Guhi! Excellent! You recognize greatness when you see it!”
Sure. Greatness converted into fat reserves. Keep devolving, Brother, so I can one day slip away and live my slow life plan in peace.
”…No greeting for me, Shin?”
She said my name so casually—no honorifics. My heart skipped. The real-world Hollow was a bullet to the chest: bang.
That hair, a crimson blaze cascading down her back. Those blue eyes, sharp enough to slice glass. A living avatar of my old game’s heroine, glaring right through me.
”Pleased to meet you, Hollow Rose Scarlet-sama. I’m Shin Seyfried, the fool of the family.” I bowed deeply.
Hollow’s type? Dangerous when provoked. The plan: stay low, stay polite, survive.
”Hmph!”
Then she swung for my face.
”Hey—what the hell—!” I twisted aside just in time. Her punch whooshed past like a cannonball.
She smirked. “You dodged? You’ve trained, haven’t you?” Her eyes gleamed—not anger, but appraisal.
Behind her, Saghir clapped, oily palms gleaming. “Ho! Dodging Hollow’s blow first try? Even I can’t manage that easily. What luck, foolish brother. But—who’s the child behind you?”
I blinked. “Child—? Oh no.”
”Shin-kun…”
”Shin-sama… we were worried.” Alexia and Layla stood there, trembling yet brave.
Saghir’s grin twisted. “So that’s the fallen Churidince girl—and the other one. Ripened early, haven’t they? Perhaps I’ll sample them tonight.”
My blood froze. I’d hoped to keep them far from this monster. Saghir was a sadist—literally. And now he was closing in on them.
”Looks like tonight will be entertaining,” he drooled. “Especially the Alexia one—she looks delicate enough to—”
THUD! A firm smack struck the back of my head.
”What are you doing, Shin?” Hollow barked. “That pig won’t spare children. Go—before it’s too late!”
Right. She was right.
”Yes! Even if he’s my brother, I can’t ignore this!” I shouted, sprinting toward the danger.
”That’s better,” Hollow said, crossing her arms. “Show me what you’ve got now.”
* * *
”Shin-kun… he’s scary,” Alexia whimpered.
”Alexia-sama, let’s go back. This place feels wrong,” Layla whispered.
”Guhi! Where do you think you’re going? Spend the night with me—ha-ha-ha!”
”Saghir! Step away from them!” Father’s voice thundered. “What do you think you’re doing!?”
”Father, please! I was only educating them. No wicked intent! Come now, girls, dance with me—”
”Let me go! Shin-kun, help!”
”Alexia-sama!”
”Saghir, you insolent wretch. If you won’t heed me—”
”Father, what are you—? Bah! I’ve no time for this, I’m taking them to—”
The crowd erupted in panic.
I grabbed Saghir’s wrist—the one holding Alexia’s hand. “Let her go, Elder Brother. She’s my girl—my favorite heroine!”
He sneered. “Fool. Weren’t you just crawling on the floor—?”
”Shadow Magic—『Shadow Mist』! Twin Teleportation—Subaruo Mountains!”
The lights dimmed. Gasps echoed.
”What’s happening—!?”
”Someone, bring light—!”
* * *
After that, the world folded into darkness.
”Geh-ho, geh-bo… Where are we? Foolish brother, what have you done?”
”What have I done? Oh, nothing yet. Re-education starts now.“
”Re-education, you say? You insolent whelp, how dare you speak so—Ggaah?!”
”It’s called the Forgetful Mushroom. You’ll forget everything that happens here and go home smiling. Now, please don’t awaken any…weird preferences while I begin your ‘massage.’ Sirius Style Ultimate—’Fang of the Wolf—Release!’”
A flash occured. I alternated between destruction and miraculous healing—break, repair, break, repair—until his screams turned into… something else.
”Wh-what are you—ghh! What is this feeling—ah! Stop! Don’t touch my stomach—don’t shove that weird dark mushroom into my mouth—Nnnghhhoooo!?!”
His voice echoed across the Subaruo Mountains, dissolving into blissful nonsense. Yeah. Gross.
* * *
Back at the banquet hall—
”So, Shin’s been kind to you girls?” Hollow asked, arms folded.
”Yes,” Alexia smiled. “He’s gentle now.”
”Mmhm! Shin-sama is kind,” Layla added.
I walked in just as my re-educated brother drooled beside me. “I’m back. Returned the ‘pig’ safe and sound.”
Hollow’s eyes narrowed. “You came back… with that.“
”Eh? Oh, right. Here you go.”
Saghir mumbled in delirium, “Whoever you are… I’ll remember this… drilling my—”
”Sleep-talking already,” I sighed. “Didn’t even punish him that hard.”
”Keep him,” Hollow snorted. “No, never mind—he’s in the way. I’ll haul him back to the capital. Farewell, Shin. We’ll meet again at Alys Magic Academy. Be more alert this time. You’re too careless. Come on, pig—up! Understand this well: there’s no place for you in this house.”
”Guha?! Where am I? Who am I?”
”You’re just a pig,” Hollow replied coldly. “A pig that cannot fly.”
”I… see. A pig that cannot fly…”
And with that, she dragged him away like a broken marionette, boarding her carriage toward the capital. Bullet trip of the century.
* * *
The party resumed under a new name—the ‘Seyfried Appreciation Feast.’ There is no hero, and no villain, just awkward nobles trying to dance off trauma. Everyone left content enough.
But her words lingered: ‘You’re too careless.’ What did Hollow mean?
I stay alert every day… don’t I?
* * *
(Late Night — Seyfried Family Library)
”Hmm? Not this one… maybe this shelf?” I whispered, flipping dusty pages. The door creaked open behind me.
”Shadow Magic: ‘Invisiblé.’”
Click. A figure stepped inside.
”…My excitement won’t fade… I must find the antidote… before my secret’s exposed…”
A girl in an unregistered maid outfit entered. Not one of ours.
”What secret, Miss Yorn—the newly hired maid with falsified credentials?” I asked.
”…Shin-sama? Why are you here so late?” Her tone dropped several degrees colder.
”I might ask the same. Or maybe you’re after this—’Pharmacobotany: The Hohenheim Codex.’”
”Please surrender that book quietly, Shin-sama. Otherwise… I’ll have to harm you.”
”Oh? Then I suppose I’ll have to capture you instead, Miss Yorn.” I smiled, too widely.
”Capture…? What nonsense is this?”
”It’s called heroine routing. Time to ‘conquer’ the hidden boss maid who threatens Alexia and me. Same rule as the game.” My voice sharpened. “Twin Teleportation.”
The air warped.
* * *
(Lily Garden — Seyfried Territory)
”Huh? This is… Connect’s Lily Garden? When—?”
”Fewer obstacles mean easier fighting. Now then…” I unsheathed my blade. “Let’s begin. My first real heroine battle in this world.”
From my left hand glowed the Fairy Festival Grimoire. In my right gleamed the Silver Princess Blade. I grinned like a textbook villain.
Yorn froze. “What… are you planning?”
Notes:
• Yorn – A maid who is easily delighted by Genkaku mushrooms (implied hallucinogenic). She informed Shin of the banquet.
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Edited by Kanaa-senpai.
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