Chapter 22 The Entrance Ceremony is a Flag-Filled Mess. So I’ll Stick to Being a Mob.
Edited by: Kanaa-senpai
(The Seyfried Estate Bathhouse, Royal Capital Shin Seyfried)
”Shin-kun. Wash my back for me, okay~na!” Alexia demanded with that aggressively cute tone of hers.
”Yes, Alexia,” I replied, resigned.
It had finally been decided: I was forced to enroll in Alys Magic Academy after resisting for almost an entire year. My ‘Slow Life Plan’ was officially in shambles.
”Now for my little hands, if you would, please~!” she chirped.
”Of course, Alexia,” I sighed internally.
Looking back now, I’m starting to realize that the route where I, Shin Seyfried, didn’t enroll in Alys Magic Academy, probably never even existed. It was all a delusion.
”Next, my feet too, please~!” she pressed.
”…My feet, huh? Understood,” I murmured, defeated.
Even if I ran away, confident in the power I’d gained from my year of ‘training,’ my doting Father—Hydepapa—would undoubtedly dispatch Orphen and the entire elite Seyfried family retinue to chase me to the ends of the earth.
Besides, if Mother’s last letter contained instructions to absolutely make sure I attend Alys Magic Academy… Father absolutely dotes on Mother. He’d never break a promise to her, no matter what.
”I want you to wash my hair next, too.”
”Hahaha. Alexia really does love getting squeaky clean all over, doesn’t she?” I chuckled weakly.
”Yep! It makes me happy when Shin-kun washes me,” she cooed.
”That is… good to hear.”
In any case, if enrollment is inevitable, I have no choice. I must dedicate myself utterly to becoming the magic academy drop-out and get myself forcibly expelled. The goal remains: the Frontier Slow Life Plan post-expulsion!
”Alexia.”
”What is it, Shin-kun?”
”Well… I’ve been meaning to say this for a long time, but found it difficult to bring up…”
”Hm~? What is it?”
”…Could we maybe stop taking baths and sleeping in the same bed together? You’re getting to be a proper young lady now, Alexia. You should be able to bathe on your own.”
Alexia has been living and sleeping alongside me in the Seyfried family’s annex ever since the end of last summer.
Why, you ask? It’s simple: she caught a glimpse of my legendary Pants Collection displayed in my secret room.
Her reaction—that blend of furious anger and deepest embarrassment—was, admittedly, magnificent.
* * *
CLATTER-CLATTER-CLATTER!
(Shin-kun’s room has a weird extra room.)
(A-Alexia! W-Wait! Please don’t go into that hidden room! My Divine Artifacts are enshrined there!)
I have a master whom I revere, admire, and love enough to call my sensei. I absolutely want to become as cool and wonderful as that person. Only someone truly great would think of decorating a room with pants! That person is a genius, seriously.
That’s why I’ve been working day and night to get closer to him—by decorating my room with pants, collecting Divine Artifacts (Shinki), and displaying the battle trophies (pants) from the enemy girls who occasionally appear.
Pretty wild, right?
(Shin-kun. What are these panties hanging on the wall?)
(…Well. They’re battle trophies I picked up in the mountains, Alexia.)
(……Is Shin-kun a pervert? …This is cheating! Shin-kun needs my supervision, okayyyy!!) Alexia fumed, puffing out her cheeks and squeezing my body tight. She’s adorable when she’s mad.
(Whoaaa!! Alexia! Don’t hug me when you’re angry! I’m sorry, I was wrong!)
* * *
”See, Alexia? You should really take baths and sleep with Layla-chan or Meryu-chan instead.”
It would be better for her—she’d make friends with one of them and get her happy ending. Then, I’d be happily dismissed, and I could coolly withdraw from her life.
Besides, Alexia is growing from a little girl into a beautiful young lady, and I don’t want to look at her funny.
Since remembering my past life, seeing her and Layla-chan grow up so close has made them feel like my much younger sisters.
”So, instead of spending every waking moment with this guy, you should definitely be making friends with the other girls…”
”No! I absolutely refuse that! Shin-kun,” Alexia countered, unwavering.
”Absolutely refuse… well, Alexia, you see…”
CHIKIN!
Alexia miniaturized and brandished the Divine Artifact (Shinki) designed just for her—the ‘Goddess Hermes’s Golden Axe’—whose usage I’d actually taught her myself since the end of last summer.
Wait, is this really the same girl? The one I adored so much, who seemed so frail just a year ago? She’s gotten way too strong!
”H-Hieek! Alexia, no ‘neck-chops’ allowed!” I shrieked.
”Shin-kun… If you refuse to stay with me, I’m going to tell your Father, Hydepapa, all about that pants room!” Alexia threatened, her small axe glinting.
Guh! She wouldn’t! Report my pants collection to my terrifying Father—my single greatest weakness?! That would be the end of everything. My whole collection would be tossed out!
”Kuh! …Understood. Let us continue to stay together, side-by-side, forever and ever, Alexia,” I groveled, tears streaming down my face, dropping into a dogeza. I couldn’t lose my collection, after all.
”Hmph. Okay, Shin-kun! And no dogeza, it’s undignified, Shin-kun. You’re important to me, so I want you to be cool!” Alexia insisted, satisfied.
”…Yes. I will do my best, Alexia.”
…What is this? I’m starting to feel like she’s completely got me wrapped around her finger, aren’t I?
No, Alexia is my best girl, and the most precious person I want to protect. But if things keep going this way, won’t I be stuck under her thumb for the rest of my life, never truly free?
Plus, she just called Father ‘Hydepapa,’ and she acts completely at home in the Seyfried mansion, like one of the family. Frankly, Father seems to dote on Alexia more than he does his actual son, lately. Which is great, but…
Is it just my imagination, or are all the escape routes slowly being closed off?
”Shin-kun. Let’s just stay in the tub together like this, now,” she commanded.
CHIKIN! The ‘Goddess Hermes’s Golden Axe’, capable of instant-killing me, gleamed gold. I’m truly terrified, Father!
”Yes, Alexia. With pleasure… sniffle!” I replied.
Am I really becoming completely unable to escape Alexia?
No, no, that can’t be it. I’m just the unneeded villainous heir, and I’ll be dismissed once Alexia pairs up with one of the heroines. I’ll simply and quietly disappear from her life then.
That’s the only way Alexia can be truly happy…
* * *
(A Few Weeks Later, Alys Academy Entrance Ceremony)
”New Students, enter!”
”WOWWW!!”
Woah, it’s like a festival. Nobles from neighboring countries and even famous Demi-human tribes have been invited as guests.
Outside, the streets are crowded and bustling with pop-up stalls and temporary restaurants gathered from all over the country and the Regain Kingdom’s regions.
I’d be losing out if I didn’t sneak away during the ceremony. I absolutely need to sample all that street food!
And leading the incoming students, of course, is Alexia, who placed first in the Alys Magic Academy entrance exam, followed by Layla-chan, and then Hollow.
Bringing up the very end is me, and for some bizarre reason, Lala-chan, who declined her chief position, retook the exam, and passed the supplementary screening, walking right in front of me. Why? I have no idea.
”…Why isn’t Shin-kun in the very front?” Alexia grumbled.
”Alexia-sama, you must keep moving forward,” Layla-chan urged.
”That’s right, Alexia. The others are backing up, so hurry up and move it,” Meryu-chan added.
Yup, yup. The protagonist of this world, Alexia, and the heroines are deepening their bonds nicely. What a beautiful sight.
”Shin-sama. To be granted the glorious future of walking alongside Shin-sama in the light is an honor so overwhelming~desuwa!” The Perverted Fantasy Girl in the Alys Magic Academy uniform—no, the Saintess of the newly formed ‘Religion of Shin,’ Lala Eushuria Melektorc-chan—squeezed her hands together and gazed up at the ceiling.
Everyone around us is recoiling in disgust. Stop it, Lala-chan!
”Right. But why did you deliberately retake the test and end up in the supplementary group when you passed as the top student, Lala-chan?”
This Alys Magic Academy dropped a huge number of applicants during the main exam. But they let the kids who showed aptitude in magic or swordsmanship in a separate retest—as supplementary passers.
I figure it’s the Academy’s strategy: they want to keep hold of any kids who might, even slightly, bloom after enrollment.
Otherwise, they wouldn’t have admitted me, who managed to score the historically lowest grade on the entrance exam, into the prestigious Alys Magic Academy.
I thought I played the part of Makoto well that day—hiding my abilities and getting ridiculed by the other applicants enough to fail. I suppose this is the world’s Fate Energy working to keep me from escaping.
”Is that the infamous Seyfried Bad Boy? The rumor is he has no aristocratic education and spends his time running around the mountains.”
”Pfft… Is that the Seyfried family’s Wild Monkey Lord who scored the lowest grade in history, followed by that strange girl who keeps promoting a weird religion?”
”The Seyfried family? I heard the other children are quite talented. But the lowest score in history? …Hmph! The Seyfried family’s future looks bleak. Still, that girl walking in front of the brat… her face is rather refined, isn’t it?”
All I can hear is talk about Lala-chan being a pervert. Poor Lala-chan. Though, that’s entirely due to her constant perverted actions. Amen.
”…Shin-sama. Those guests are saying many terrible things about Shin-sama. We must administer divine punishment and convert them, yes?” Lala-chan’s voice was dangerously sweet.
Saying that, Lala-chan pulled a tonfa-like weapon out of her sleeve. She’s terrifying, I swear.
”Hold on. Isn’t that the ‘Twin Holy Rods’ I recovered from Ranfan-chan two months ago? How did you get that, Lala-chan?” I demanded.
”I entered your Divine Artifact (Shinki) room and borrowed it, Shin-sama. I shall treasure this Divine Artifact as if it were Shin-sama himself from now on~desuwa!” she declared, worshipping the weapon.
That, Lala-chan, is what the rest of the world calls theft.
…Whatever. She seems to be using it well, so I guess I’ll just let her keep it.
”Right. But this is a public place, so put away that dangerous thing, okay? We can just sneak into the homes of the people who called you a pervert later tonight and slaughter them, okay?” I whispered conspiratorially.
”My, that is a wonderfully brilliant plan~desuwa! Just as expected of Shin-sama!” she beamed, already plotting.
And just like that, Lala-chan and I were having this absurd conversation.
* * *
(Front of the New Students’ Seating)
”What’s with that pink-haired girl? She seems pretty close to Shin, doesn’t she? Hey, Alexia, Layla… Hieek?!” a voice squeaked.
”Shin-sama… Who is that cute girl? Tell me now,” Layla-chan hissed, her demeanor instantly changing.
”Shin-kun…… I told you that cheating means neck-chop from the start, okayyyy!” Alexia growled, the possessiveness thick in her voice.
* * *
”Shin-sama~! Squeeze my right hand tight~desuwa~!” Lala-chan implored, her fingers locking with mine.
”Lala-chan, don’t cling to me like we’re in my room at night. It’s embarrassing,” I pleaded, tugging my hand away.
I can feel an immense pressure radiating from the top-ranked entrants. Why, though?
”…Tch! Can’t you two be quiet for a moment? Today is the Alys Magic Academy entrance ceremony, which doubles as a festival gathering neighboring nations. Try to act a bit more like successful applicants.”
”Heeh?! S-Sorry!” I stammered.
”…Huh? That voice… could it be?”
Golden hair, long ears, and a slightly taller stature from growing up. The one who chided our loud group, walking right ahead of Lala-chan, was…
”……You…… haven’t we met somewhere before? …Tch! Just looking at you gives me a headache.” The Golden-Haired Elf Queen Karentisia Efyldis—the girl slated to grow into a devastatingly lewd charmer—had returned.
I instantly realized that running into the girl whose battle trophy (pants) I first claimed meant that a truly awful flag had just been raised.
Notes:
• Meryu – The “Highest Water Fairy” of the Fairy Kingdom, who now serves as an “exclusive maid” for Shin’s hidden base and is currently acting as Layla-chan’s guardian. She was captured by Shin (the brat) using a net and a cage on a hot summer day while stuck in a tree hollow. Shin enforced a Master-Servant contract using the Oath Book (Honorius) and a Pleasure Crest document. She is comically defensive of her employer, citing his good wages, time off, and the fun she now has, and is realizing she is starting to like this world. She is terrified of Chairman Callus.
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Edited by Kanaa-senpai.
Thanks for reading.
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