Chapter 3 The Elf Regular Customer Who’s Hooked on Adult Magic Goods
Edited by: Kanaa-senpai
Yet again today, I devoted myself to selling adult magic items. It felt like I was playing the role of a shady shopkeeper, just like a character from the manga I used to read before I was isekai-teleported to this world.
The thugs who knew me back when I was an adventurer, barely scraping by, usually snicker and ask what I’m trying to look cool for. But you see, atmosphere is everything in this business. I pulled the kiseru¹ pipe from my lips and exhaled a thick puff of smoke.
Don’t worry, this too is a magic item I made myself, a tobacco-substitute. It’s nothing like the stuff in my old world that messed up your health. It just allows me to soak in a nice feeling for a moment and enjoy the simple pleasure of blowing out smoke. It won’t paint your lungs black, nor will it harm anyone nearby or stain the wallpaper yellow.
I was just starting to think about closing up for the day since the customers had dwindled when the little bell hanging on the shop’s entry door jingled, letting me know a customer had arrived. Kalan-kalan.
”…Welcome.” I drawled.
”…”
I glanced toward the entrance, and there she was: one of my regulars who’d been visiting quite frequently lately. She was, as always, a suspicious-looking customer completely shrouded in a hooded robe. That’s right—it was the Elf woman who had previously bought my specialty aphrodisiac lotion, ‘Uterine Twitches,’ and the heavy-duty dildo, ‘Mr. Pecker No. 3.’
”You again, huh? You certainly haven’t gotten bored, coming by so often…” I drawled, blowing out another stream of smoke.
”…Be quiet,” the Elf snapped, sounding annoyed. She’d visited so many times that I’d lost count—a solid regular, no doubt—but I still didn’t even know her name. The only thing I could tell was that she was probably an adventurer judging by her gear: a metal breastplate with shoulder guards, a rapier at her waist, and a bow and quiver on her back. She was the typical hunter-class Elf. The magic power she carried also made it clear she could wield magic.
If she were in the military, her equipment would be higher quality and better balanced; for a civilian, this was over-the-top armament. The time of day and the dirt on her clothes told me she’d likely cashed in monster materials at the Adventurer’s Guild and come straight here.
My, my, she must really be enjoying her ‘Mr. Pecker.’ I couldn’t stop the subtle grin from pulling at the corner of my mouth. Luckily, she didn’t seem to notice. The Elf immediately threw off her hood and started placing her order.
”The specialty aphrodisiac lotion, ‘Uterine Twitches’…”
”Aha! The usual, I see.” I replied, nodding.
The Elf spoke the name of the desired product with an expression of pure humiliation. Oh, this is the best! The customers struggling with their pent-up desires, failing to hide it, and ordering adult magic items while their cheeks flush with shame. I think it’s a terrible hobby of mine, but I just can’t give up this business because of how much I enjoy this sight.
”Didn’t you like the previous oral aphrodisiac I recommended, ‘Feverish Vaginal Hole, Scorching Clitoris’?” I asked casually, just to tease her.
”…Tch!” she spat, flinching. That drink I’d concocted based on my image of her pent-up lust. I’d tested it thoroughly on Lily the slave, and as originally planned, I was selling it diluted as a drinkable medicine.
The Elf seemed to hesitate at my question. She was probably remembering the sensation of taking that medicine. Her cheeks were growing hot, and her slender thighs were rubbing together restlessly. What a sight for sore eyes, what a wonderful sight…
”I—I understand. I’ll take that too…” she stammered.
”I don’t know what you mean by ‘that,’ now do I?” I asked, leaning in with a smile.
”Guh!… Just—just give me the ‘Feverish Vaginal Hole, Scorching Clitoris’!” she forced out, utterly defeated.
”Hee hee! Thank you for your continued patronage!” I replied with a lewd grin, playing the shady shopkeeper role to the maximum in response to her agonizing declaration. The Elf shot me a hateful glare.
But this is a business. As part of my market research, I have to know just how much she desires that medicine. I’ll just tell myself there’s a good reason why I deliberately give the products lewd names, too.
Firstly, there are absolutely no addictive drugs among my products; that kind of efficacy is prohibited by law. If anything, my shop takes special measures to ensure the effects of the medicines vanish completely after use. You could certainly call us a reputable establishment in that regard.
Therefore, the fact that this Elf regular keeps coming back to buy aphrodisiacs and adult toys is entirely due to her own sexual desire. I’m just helping her vent. There’s no reason for her to be glaring at me.
”A-and, I—I’ll also take, um, ‘Mr. Pecker No. 5’…” she whispered.
”Eh? What’s this? Are you sizing up already? I think you ought to stop there, don’t you think?” I asked, my grin fading a little.
’Mr. Pecker,’ our flagship dildo series, ranges from No. 1 to No. 7. As the number increases, the dildo’s thickness and length also increase. No. 5 is a size that Lily says is “too big for me.” By the way, No. 6 is “Guaranteed to make you a Gaping Hole,” and No. 7 is a size that will “Rip you open.”
The Elf regular wasn’t satisfied with the No. 3 she started with and had just bought No. 4 the other day. For reference, Lily rated No. 4 as “Barely enjoyable,” No. 3 as “A bit too big,” and her favorite is actually No. 2.
Now, Lily’s vaginal opening is unusually tight, so her reviews aren’t the best standard, but even so, jumping from No. 4 to No. 5 in such a short period of time is worrying. I always warn customers buying No. 5 or higher that they “cannot complain if their vaginal opening becomes loose.” Though, to be fair, I have already successfully developed a magic potion to tighten it back up, too.
”I—I don’t care! A customer has gone to all the trouble of being this humiliated and is asking for it! Hurry up and hand over ‘Mr. Pecker No. 5’!” she shrieked.
”Whoa, whoa, calm down now. I could sell it to you, but my motto is to ‘Assist with the customer’s healthy sex life.’ If you hurt yourself, I won’t be able to sleep at night.”
I was playing a role, but that was my honest truth. If women were hurting themselves through masturbation, I would stop them. It’s a matter of my personal conscience, and it also affects the shop’s reputation. If a customer were to get injured or ruin herself with a product bought here, the worst-case scenario is a raid by the military police. I have no intention of running a shady business.
”It’s embarrassing, I know, but tell me why you want No. 5 so badly. Depending on the reason, I might be able to recommend a more suitable product.” I offered.
”Y-you’re only saying that to humiliate me further! Y-you! You… you utterly despicable perverted shopkeeper!”
Heh, I was thoroughly hated, it seemed. Given the nature of my work, I suppose that’s inevitable, but I don’t intend to apologize for a single thing! This small act of sexual harassment has become one of my reasons for living.
”Hmm, fine, I see. Then you don’t have to tell me.”
”Huh?”
”Hey, Lily! Sorry, but could you come here for a moment?” I called out toward the living space in the back of the shop, where Lily was likely relaxing. I heard a “Coming~!” and then Lily, wearing her favorite one-piece dress, came pattering out.
”What is it, Master?” she asked sweetly.
”Well, this customer wants to buy No. 5, but I just sold her No. 4 the other day. I’m worried she’s moving up in size a bit too fast and want to know what she’s been up to…”
”Ah, I see, I see. So you want me to interview her on your behalf?”
”Yeah, please and thank you.”
”A kiss will be my reward.”
”Alright, alright,” I agreed.
She immediately understood the situation. Lily truly has a quick grasp of things. After giving her a kiss on the cheek to send her off, she approached the Elf, looking slightly dissatisfied.
”Wha—! You! There was a female clerk?” the Elf gasped.
”Ah, well, not exactly a clerk. I’m a slave,” Lily replied casually.
”W-what difference does that make? Does that mean that shopkeeper is really only keeping this store open just to commit sexual harassment?” she hissed.
”Oh, no, I’m sort of a ‘pet slave,’ so working the shop isn’t actually part of my contract,” Lily explained.
”B-but if he can afford to buy a slave, he could at least…”
”Now, now, let’s not worry about the small details,” Lily interrupted smoothly.
Lily expertly led the Elf, who was apparently upset that I was the one minding the counter, to a corner of the shop. This kind of reaction from a customer, and Lily making sure she doesn’t interfere with my hobby, is a common sight in this shop. Ah, I’m so happy to have such an understanding slave.
”So… No. 3 quickly became insufficient, and No. 4 is already… By the way, how often do you… Ah, yes, yes. I understand. I know just what you mean. Oh, you don’t have a partner… Yes, yes…”
Lily’s skillful chatter drew out information from the Elf, who had been completely silent moments before. They kept their voices low, but I was listening perfectly with a magic item that enhanced my hearing. Lily knows this and speaks just loudly enough for me to hear while keeping it discreet for the customer.
”Ah… I understand how you feel, but that might be a bit much… You see, the value of a dildo isn’t just in filling up the vaginal opening; it’s the ability to manipulate it yourself and hit the right spots… Yes, yes, I totally understand. For me, shallow, persistent thrusting, and stimulating the nipples at the same time is the best. Ah, and products that stimulate the clitoris simultaneously are also… Yes, yes…”
The conversation was clearly heating up. It turned out that my regular Elf customer was addicted to the pleasure of being deeply penetrated. And when she sized up from No. 3 to No. 4, she discovered the pleasure of stretching her vagina, almost to the point where she felt like trying to shove her fist inside.
That is definitely getting too obsessed. There are plenty of other ways to achieve sexual gratification, and Lily seemed to be recommending those. As my slave in an adult magic item shop, she’s truly a well-trained one.
Before long, Lily returned from the corner of the room with the Elf, who was now looking half-ready to cry. The Elf was even clinging to Lily’s shoulder, which showed how much she’d come to rely on her in that short time. As expected of the lustful Pink Lily. She truly looked like a missionary of sex.
”Master, I believe ‘Feverish Vaginal Hole, Scorching Clitoris’ is a bit too potent for her. I think we should prescribe ‘My Wanton First Love.’ Also, for the dildo, ‘Drill Mr. Pecker No. 3, Clitoris Service Edition’ would be better. We could also recommend the ‘Warm Mr. Pecker’ or the ‘Vibrating Mr. Pecker’ if we succeed in developing them, but…”
Lily had expertly finalized the order. Her sex counseling is actually a paid service, but since this was an exceptional circumstance, I’d let it slide for free this time. I gave Lily another kiss on the cheek and turned back to the Elf.
”Well, customer, any objections to my slave’s suggestion?”
”A-ah… I—I’ve learned a great deal. Yes, please proceed with her suggestion,” the Elf stammered.
”Good! Then place your order. I must hear it clearly so there are no mistakes, you know!” I insisted.
”Wha—! Y-you villain!” she cried.
”Oh, but I don’t mind if you’d rather not say it, you know?” I teased her with a grin.
”Guh!… I—I understand… I… I request ‘My Wanton First Love’ and the ‘Drill Mr. Pecker No. 3, Clitoris Service Edition’!”
”Hee hee! Thank you very much!” I replied with a lecherous chuckle.
I completed the transaction with the Elf regular, all while receiving Lily’s cool stare that said, ‘Master’s doing something stupid again.’ I took the money, fumbled around to retrieve the items, and handed them over. The Elf snatched them up and rushed out of the store, but not before properly thanking Lily.
”Excuse me!” she clipped.
”Do come again~” I called out.
And just like that, I had saved another woman troubled by her sexuality. Huh? Saved by Lily, you say? Don’t sweat the small stuff—a slave’s credit is the master’s credit, you know. The truth is, Lily would probably extract a thorough payment from me later for her labor anyway, so it’s not an exaggeration to call this my own hard-won achievement.
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Summary:
The usual Elf customer, battling intense sexual frustration, returned to the adult magic shop for an upgrade to her dildo, demanding the notorious ‘Mr. Pecker No. 5.’ The shady shopkeeper insisted on a consultation for the sake of her healthy sex life—which was mostly a pretext for his own amusement and a bit of teasing. The shop’s ‘pet slave’ and sex expert, Lily, stepped in to counsel the embarrassed adventurer out of buying an excessively large adult toy, ultimately recommending a more suitable aphrodisiac and a specialized vibrating dildo to help manage her burgeoning lust.
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Character Insight:
The Shopkeeper’s playful, perverted persona is deeply rooted in his personal enjoyment of seeing his customers’ shame and need, which he considers a form of life affirmation. While he enjoys sexual harassment as a hobby, he paradoxically maintains a core ethical boundary: he won’t sell products that cause physical harm or addiction. His moral compass is bent toward amusing himself, but not ruining his customers. Lily, the pink-haired slave, operates as a hyper-competent sex counselor, using her own experience with the shop’s adult goods to guide troubled customers, showcasing her loyalty and professional expertise in the erotic fantasy setting.
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Behind the Scene:
This scene establishes the dynamic between the Shopkeeper and his Elf regular, focusing on the humorous conflict between her intense embarrassment and his brazen teasing. The introduction of Lily as a skilled consultant provides a crucial layer of support, subtly shifting the tone from purely lecherous to genuinely helpful, solidifying the shop’s unique position in the fantasy world as a source for smut goods and sexual advice, while setting up the ‘slave’s credit is the master’s credit’ joke.
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T/L:
1 [kiseru]: A traditional Japanese pipe used for smoking finely shredded tobacco. It is often associated with a somewhat old-fashioned, leisurely, or ‘rogue’ character, which suits the Shopkeeper’s affected persona. ↩
Notes:
• Lily – the sl*ve and primary experiment subject for the magic shop, ‘Harvest.’ She has striking pink hair, Blue eyes, medium breasts, which the Protagonist associates with being ‘wanton’. She has a working knowledge of magic, which she kept hidden from the slave trader.
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Edited by Kanaa-senpai.
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