Chapter 18 The Suspicious Shopkeeper and the Pure Customer’s Secret
Edited by: Kanaa-senpai
Having Tania, who’s become a seriously strong asset, I was, as usual, busily toiling away at making more of my Tremble-D**do-Buddies. Once I’d met today’s quota, it was time for my favorite bit: the suspicious shopkeeper roleplay.
I tucked the pipe, which holds my cigarette-substitute, into my mouth and puffed out clouds of smoke every so often.
Obviously, I couldn’t build a D**do-Buddy right out in the store, and honestly, I was tired. So for a quick break, I decided to make a regular magic item instead.
Problem is, I really don’t enjoy making wands. No, ‘boring’ is the better word, actually. Wands for mages are the most common products in a typical magic shop; they’re the biggest sellers with the most demand.
They’re the magical tools that boost spell power or help with activation. After years of research by countless craftspeople, these products have become so advanced a beginner like me can’t really improve them. It’s like a small-town factory trying to research and produce a hybrid car in my old world. Or microchips.
Compared to cars, you don’t need mass production, so the investment’s not too high, and maybe—maybe—I could come up with a small bit of progress, but that’s five or ten years down the line, and it would only be cutting-edge for a second. It’s boring, and my shop’s finances just can’t support that kind of endeavor anyway. So, making these little things as a hobby is all I can manage.
I try to use the cheapest materials to make them as high-performance as possible, just so new adventurers can afford them. Man, using Metag Stone¹ would be fascinating… Nah, I better not. I don’t want it to have value beyond being a vibrator.
I kept thinking about this stuff, switching out the base materials for the wand’s magic stone, testing and retesting.
If a cheap material actually worked, then surely a predecessor would have found it already. I was racking my brain, trying combinations of two or three materials and putting special care into the processing.
Huh, what if I just went ridiculous and engraved the whole wand with tons of tiny magic circles?
It’s like trying to perfect the original rotary engine while everyone else is working on electric cars, but it could be fun. We don’t have any problem if wands don’t sell here, so I might as well try it out.
Just as I was sinking into this utterly unprofitable work, the bell above the door jangled—“jingle-jingle!”—telling me a customer had come in.
I snapped right into my roleplay. I deepened my voice to be as suspicious as possible and greeted the customer.
”…Welcome.”
”…”
Naturally, there was no reply. The person who entered was a suspicious woman wrapped in a black cloak. It’s actually pretty common for the women who come to this shop to hide themselves from others, so she wasn’t a rarity. She scurried toward me, glancing all around at the magic items on the shelves.
Yep, this is a normal reaction for a first-timer here. It’s a chaotic, shady shop that clearly doesn’t have quality goods displayed, but the mass of unidentifiable magic items makes the customers think, “Maybe there’s a treasure buried in the back.” That slightly exciting merchandise layout is exactly the look I aim for—my ‘suspicious shop.’
I inwardly chuckled, pleased that she reacted just as I planned. Heh-heh-heh. You can’t believe that is sold here, can you? Lately, I can instantly tell what a customer is here for.
When a young woman hides her face, she can’t possibly have any other goal. Seriously, my only other customers are novice adventurers looking for cheap healing potions.
”Looking for something specific, customer…?”
I laid on the roleplay extra thick, puffing out my cigarette-substitute as I spoke. The mysterious customer flinched, but didn’t answer. Okay, okay. It’s fine, I’m used to dealing with customers like this.
”Staying silent, are we? That’s fine, but take off the hood. I won’t do business with someone who won’t show their face, you know?”
”……”
The customer hesitated for a moment, then finally relented, pulling back her hood to show her face. A cascade of light-blue hair fell down, and her large eyes glared at me over tightly-drawn lips. I don’t know why she’s making that face at me, but being treated with disdain by a beautiful woman isn’t so bad.
”Ah, that’s better. This is a tiny shop; I don’t keep anything worth stealing, but I hate trouble.”
”…”
”Feel free to browse the products. I can explain anything that catches your eye. Or, did you have something you wanted to ask for first…?”
I probed her with a casual question, but she refused to speak a single word. What kind of internal struggle was going on inside her head, I wondered?
”Come on, what’s the deal? Just so you know, no window shopping, got it?”
”…”
To fill the silence, I puffed on my cigarette-substitute again. Fine, if she won’t talk, I’ll just wait until she does. I sighed, then went back to working on the wand in my hands. My ideal ‘suspicious shopkeeper’ doesn’t get flustered by a customer like this.
”H-Here…!”
”Hm—?”
After a while, the customer seemed to have decided to speak. It must have taken a lot of courage, as she spoke with a trembling voice and darting eyes. It was a beautiful, clear voice, like a flowing stream.
”Is the rumor true… that I can buy, er, aph**disiacs² here…?”
’Aph**disiacs.’ That word, leaping out of the mouth of this seemingly earnest, pure woman. Nothing delights me more than a serious-looking woman buying an adult magic item. I almost smirked, but she was definitely a suspicious customer. I should probably play it cautious, just in case.
”Oh? And where did you hear that, exactly…?”
”W-What does it matter where! Are you selling them, or are you not!?” she demanded, her voice tight with panic.
”Whoa, calm down. All I want to know is if you’re a proper customer here.”
”D-Don’t try to dodge the question! My f-friend told me. That you sell Aph**disiacs and, um, d-D**dos to women here…!”
Her beautiful face was absolutely scarlet as she finally pushed toward the truth. Mmm, this marvelous face of shame is the kind of thing you could eat three bowls of rice with—if we had actual rice and not just a rice-like grain in this world, that is.
”Ho, a friend, eh…? Well, you should have her teach you how to speak properly. We don’t stock anything called ‘Aph**disiacs’ or ‘D**dos’ here.”
”What—! I-It’s the same thing, isn’t it!? I’m only asking if you sell them or not!”
”I won’t answer that question. But maybe… if you use the right ‘word,’ you might be able to buy something.”
”Guh…! T-That’s unfair! You know what I mean without me saying it!”
”Hey, I told you before, no window shopping. If you’re not a customer, get lost, yeah?”
”Wha—!”
I guess my attitude was colder than she expected, because her already-red face became an even deeper shade of crimson, trembling with anger and shame. Sorry, but even I have to make a living (evil grin)!
Even after I shooed her away with a wave of my hand, she wouldn’t leave. Instead, she took a set of beads—a rosary³—from her pocket and muttered, “H-How can God forgive such a thing…!” as she shook.
Clutching the beads tightly in both hands, she squeezed her eyes shut, clearly steeling her resolve. She shivered, took a deep breath, and then whispered it—a voice like the buzzing of a mosquito.
”D—”
”D?”
”D-D…”
”D-D…?”
”…I want a D**do-Buddy! P-Please sell me one…!”
She couldn’t bear the shame any longer, and a tear rolled down the corner of her eye as she spoke. A grin spread across my face. I was truly impressed by this seemingly pure woman, and I gave her my answer.
”Hee-hee. That’ll be all yours!”
—
Summary:
The Shopkeeper focuses on boring wand production before a customer interrupts his peace. He’s determined to make her say the forbidden word. The pure, blue-haired customer, consumed by shame and desperation, finally breaks down and orders a ‘D**do-Buddy.’
—
Character Insight:
The Shopkeeper is deeply amused by the conflict between the customer’s pure appearance and her desperate, secret desire. He deliberately plays the villain to extract her full, explicit request, as her shame is a form of payment to him.
—
Behind the Scene:
This chapter establishes the Shopkeeper’s playful sadism and his strict rule that customers must say the exact name of the adult product, which heightens the comedic and erotic tension. The wand-making section provides a world-building detail about why he only sells niche adult magic items.
—
T/L:
¹ Metag Stone is a fictional material in the story, often used for its vibratory properties in his adult magic items. ↩
² Aph**disiacs are the ‘politically correct’ but incorrect term the customer uses for the forbidden adult items. ↩
³ The rosary/prayer beads (数珠) are used to emphasize the customer’s religious or moral background, increasing the shame she feels. ↩
Notes:
• Tania – An Elf adventurer who, despite her race’s reputation for low sex drive, is secretly quite passionate. She initially seemed ‘wasted’ (emotionally dry) to her friend Raika, but was easily introduced to the pleasure-items sold at ‘Harvest.’ She is easily embarrassed and attempts to maintain a dignified facade, despite her recent, frequent purchases. She wears practical but light armor over a simple cloth tunic and short pants, highlighting her grace and agility. Her primary relationship is one of friendly senior-junior with Raika.
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Edited by Kanaa-senpai.
Thanks for reading.
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