Chapter 88 The ‘Noja’ Customer꞉ An Encounter with an Eccentric Buyer
Edited by: Kanaa-senpai
”Could it be… are you looking for a magic item shop…?”
I addressed the suspicious person, wrapped completely in a black hooded robe, whom I had discovered on my way home from a circuit of the town. I employed my usual suspicious shop owner move as I spoke. Yet, there was no reply from the cloaked figure before me.
”…”
”…”
The resulting scene was that of a dubious man and a suspicious figure clad entirely in black standing silently on a street corner. Fortunately, the foot traffic was sparse, but from a distance, the murmurs of a parent and child could be heard: “Mama, there are strange people over there,” and “Shh! Don’t look!”
”Ah, well, if you’re looking for the magic item shop ‘Harvest,’ I happen to be the owner of that place. Would you like me to guide you there?”
”…!”
My splendid suspicious shop owner role-play had to be abandoned, and I returned to a normal tone out of necessity. It would be troublesome if the city guards came rushing over. As expected, the suspicious person reacted. It was a relief that they weren’t a genuine threat, after all.
”W-Why did you know that I was looking for ‘Harvest,’ I say, noja¹!?”
The voice that returned was distinctive and cute, the sort that would have been called an ‘anime voice’ in my previous world. But even more than that, I could not help but be deeply moved by another fact.
The, the “Noja” has arrived!
Even in this fantasy world, the noja style of speech was something I had never once encountered until now. To think I could encounter the noja right here!
”W-What is the matter, I say, noja?”
The suspicious person, henceforth referred to as Noja, questioned me with a puzzled tone as I inwardly savoured my joy. This would not do. I absolutely must not let this customer escape. I needed to remain calm and guide them in a gentlemanly fashion!
”Well, you see, it’s because of the kind of things we sell. A fair number of the customers who come to my shop wear clothing that can conceal their faces, just like that.”
”I-Is that s-so!? Upon visiting the Royal Capital after so long, everyone was talking about ‘Harvest’s’ goods, so I genuinely thought the moral standards of the capital’s women had completely collapsed, I say, noja…”
It appeared this Noja person did not reside in the Royal Capital. The image of a country bumpkin, nervous and furtively coming to buy the rumoured adult magic items in the capital—and a noja at that! It was simply magnificent.
”It’s fervently supported in certain circles, and women probably share information discreetly among themselves, but I don’t think we’re upsetting public decency that much. As I said before, nearly everyone comes to buy things discreetly.”
”T-That is a relief, noja! I must have been ridiculed by them for being a country-dweller, I say, noja!”
Are you serious? If so, those people had some nerve… In this world, ‘the countryside’ meant an area with fewer people and more monsters. Those who live in the ‘countryside’ often possess great power to survive, while weak city-dwellers are only superior due to the power of civilization and numbers.
I had thought that an ill-mannered culture that mocked country folk would not exist in this world. Well, no matter. The person themselves seems convinced.
”So, what will you do? It’s certainly not something one buys openly, but it’s genuinely popular, you know?”
”U-Umu, I see… Well, yes. J-Just in case, truly just in case, I should like to see the products, perhaps…”
And so, I successfully managed to invite the Noja into my shop.
* * *
”Kento… I think bringing a woman home the day after a proposal is perhaps questionable…”
”It’s not that! It’s a customer, a customer! They were lost looking for my shop, so I brought them here!”
It was Tania, the adventurer Elf who was minding the shop, who tossed such a cutting remark at me as soon as we returned.
”P-Proposal? Woman…?”
”It’s a misunderstanding, a misunderstanding! I have absolutely no dishonest intentions!”
To my desperate pleas, Noja tilted their head, their face still hidden, and Tania turned a troubled expression towards me. I really didn’t mean it that way! I just wanted to make a few slightly inappropriate comments!
Shouting such things in my heart, I calmly flipped the switch to ‘relatively normal shop owner move.’ The more I tried to explain myself, the more likely I was to slip up!
”Er, well, I’d like to introduce a variety of products, but first, could you remove that hood and show me your face?”
”W-What!? M-Must I remove this!?”
”Just as a formality. My shop may be a little suspicious, but I’m not running an illegal business. I can’t sell goods to a customer who won’t even show their face.”
”Guh, g-gnh. That is certainly sound logic… V-Very well. However, you must promise not to tell anyone that I came here…”
”Of course. I only divulge a customer’s personal information when questioned by the city guards.”
”U-Umu. P-Please promise me? You must keep it a secret!”
Saying this, the Noja person showed considerable inner conflict. Perhaps they were a person of some standing. Still, I didn’t think it would be good to pry into a customer’s personal information. After a short wait, the individual slowly lowered their hood.
The first thing that caught my eye was the long silver hair, highly noticeable even in the dim lighting of the shop. Their skin, white as snow, was presently flushed a pale pink with embarrassment. They had a neatly sculpted, doll-like face, and above all, the bright red eyes that were directed at me…
”Ohh…”
”W-What is it, I say, noja? Do you have a problem with the way I look!?”
”No, no. I was just thinking, are you perhaps a vampire, customer?”
”W-Who is a vampire! Of course not! What are you talking about, I say, noja!!!”
Incidentally, vampires do exist in this world. However, here they are treated as a subspecies of the Succubus² and were apparently long ago exterminated by the Church of Demon-Subjugation. Occasionally, rumours are heard of them hiding in some manor, but they are just that—mere rumours.
”Umu, you do not know, Kento? They do not wear clothes. At least, every individual I encountered was completely naked. She appears to be properly dressed beneath her cloak.”
A splendid, long-lived being’s tsukkomi³ was delivered by Tania, the walking encyclopedia of the kingdom, or perhaps, of this shop. True to form, she had apparently even been involved in the subjugation of vampires. The Noja person was left with their mouth agape, unable to follow the conversation. Let us return to the main point.
”Also, there’s something else. My shop has rules for selling products. Did your friend tell you about them?”
”Ugh… Y-Yes, I was told, noja. But, does everyone truly say it…?”
”They do. This is the ironclad rule of my shop; it cannot be bent!”
”B-But you see, showing one’s face is certainly necessary, but I don’t think this other part is needed…”
”No, no, it’s very important! If you don’t say it properly, I might make a mistake, mightn’t I? Furthermore, it helps me determine if a customer is just browsing. To be made to say such embarrassing words—I can judge that person to be a valuable customer who seeks my product so much as to endure it, wouldn’t you agree?”
”U-Umm, s-sound logic, perhaps…?”
I spouted out plausible reasons, making them up as I went. They were the best excuses I had come up with through much customer service. No customer has ever failed to comply when faced with these somewhat convincing reasons!
”V-Very well, noja… Then, I, I would like you… to sell me a D* * ** * * do-Buddy, I say, noja!!!”
”Hee-hee! Thank you for your business…!”
I was extremely satisfied, having been able to perform the ultimate suspicious shop owner move after so long. I do it almost every day, yet I wonder why it feels like it’s been a while?
Also, Tania was giving me a truly rare expression of disdain. It felt oddly nostalgic, remembering how she, too, would receive my inappropriate jokes with a flushed face in the beginning.
—
Summary:
Kento encounters a suspicious, hooded figure speaking in the rare ‘noja’ dialect who is searching for his adult magic item shop, ‘Harvest,’ and manages to convince them to enter the shop after having to abandon his ‘suspicious shop owner’ persona; inside, the customer reveals themselves to be a silver-haired, red-eyed individual with a great sense of propriety who is shocked by the casual mention of vampires and struggles to comply with the shop’s ironclad rule before finally ordering a ‘Ddo-Buddy’.
—
Character Insight:
Kento’s immediate reaction to the ‘noja’ speech pattern, while trivial on the surface, reveals his enduring link to his previous world’s culture and his enjoyment of genuine fantasy tropes, showing a personal enthusiasm that overrides his ‘suspicious shop owner’ facade. The ‘Noja’ customer, by contrast, represents a clash of cultures—a visitor from a more traditional or isolated region who is scandalized by the Capital’s acceptance of adult goods, highlighting their struggle with propriety and their eventual, desperate compliance, underscoring their desire for the product.
—
Behind the Scene:
The internal discussion about the ‘countryside’ reflects a common trope in fantasy settings where ‘rural’ often equates to strength due to high monster density, inverting the real-world stereotype where ‘city’ often implies dominance. Tania’s casual knowledge of vampires and their lack of clothing adds a dark, world-building detail that is completely unexpected yet treated factually, enriching the lore with minimal effort.
—
T/L:
¹ [Noja] > This is a Japanese speech particle/style often associated with wise old women, witches, or sometimes eccentric characters in anime and manga. It gives the speaker a very specific, old-fashioned, or ‘grandparental’ air. ↩
² [Succubus] > A type of female demon or supernatural entity, often depicted as a beautiful woman, who is believed to have sexual relations with sleeping men. ↩
³ [Tsukkomi] > In Japanese comedy, this is the straight-man role who delivers a sharp, witty retort or correction to the boke (funny man/clown) character. Tania is the tsukkomi to Kento’s boke. ↩
Notes:
• Kento – The owner of the magic tool shop ‘Harvest,’ which discretely sells adult goods. He’s a former overworked, ordinary salaryman from modern Japan who was suddenly transported (isekai’d) to this fantasy world. He has dark hair and an unremarkable appearance, typically wearing a plain, slightly suspicious-looking shop owner’s clothes looks like Kazuma Satou from certain series. He has a minimal amount of magic power, enough to craft his specialty items.
• Tania – An Elf adventurer who, despite her race’s reputation for low sex drive, is secretly quite passionate. She initially seemed ‘wasted’ (emotionally dry) to her friend Raika, but was easily introduced to the pleasure-items sold at ‘Harvest.’ She is easily embarrassed and attempts to maintain a dignified facade, despite her recent, frequent purchases. She wears practical but light armor over a simple cloth tunic and short pants, highlighting her grace and agility. Her primary relationship is one of friendly senior-junior with Raika.
• Suu – Secretary for the Royal Capital Beast-person Mutual Aid Association and a cat beast-person. Sample No. 19 in Kento’s report. She steps up as the first witness for the defense.
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Edited by Kanaa-senpai.
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