Chapter 151 Death March
Edited by: Kanaa-senpai
Around the time the Coalmine Kingdom¹ army was retreating from the ‘Witch of Fresh Verdure²‘ and planning their next moves, the Canaria Kingdom³ camp was also busy dealing with the aftermath of the battle.
Treating the wounded was the top priority. The front-line units, primarily beastmen who bore the brunt of the enemy’s magic attacks and charges, and the adventurers who had been targeted after pushing too far forward during the mid-stage of the fight.
”Laika! Laika, hang in there! The wound is shallow!” Tania shouted.
”Ugh… Big sis… I might not make it… Ah… I wanted to… give birth to Kento’s baby…” Laika moaned.
Tania, the Elven adventurer known as the ‘Witch of Fresh Verdure’ who had struck terror into the enemy, was offering words of encouragement to Laika, a dog-beastman adventurer who had been kicked in the stomach by a soldier from what appeared to be the ‘Pink Clan⁴‘… However…
”No, you’re perfectly fine! It’s just a little bruise! You can still pop out plenty of kids! Your abs are so rock-hard that I’m surprised the guy who kicked you didn’t break his foot instead!”
Satsuki, the Court Mage, delivered a brilliant tsukkomi from the side. While Laika had indeed taken a heavy blow, she was perfectly fine aside from a bit of dirt and a mark where she was kicked and knocked down.
”Tch, you have no sense of rhythm, Satsuki, noja,” Tania said.
”Exactly, Satsuki! We’re adventurers! We can’t survive in this business if we can’t pull off a little skit like this!” Laika added.
”No, no, no! I have no intention of becoming an adventurer, and this is completely inappropriate regardless! Wait, are adventurers really always like this?!” Satsuki asked, exasperated.
Satsuki instinctively turned to the other adventurers nearby to confirm. These were the men Kento called ‘Thug A’ and ‘Thug B’—Abram of the ‘Iron Fist’ and Balliston of the ‘Deadly Poison.’ Both were injured, but appeared to be stable for the time being.
”Oh, absolutely! An adventurer’s gotta be like this!” Abram shouted.
”Hehe! That bastard Kento used to pull that ‘collapsing in the street’ routine all the time…! We’d all be clutching our sides laughing…!” Balliston chirped.
”Oh yeah, I remember. He really had that act down to an art!” Abram agreed.
In Kento’s case, he had actually been collapsing from exhaustion, and compared to the other adventurers receiving treatment, these two were unusually lighthearted. Still, they played along with Tania’s skit. Laughing in the face of hardship was indeed a vital trait for a first-rate adventurer.
”R-Really? This… this is what an adventurer is…?” Satsuki stammered.
”Don’t listen to them, they’re tricking you. Only these crazy ‘titled’ ones are this flippant,” a voice said.
”M-Marsetta-san!”
Marsetta, Satsuki’s senior mage, approached and called out to them. Her exhausted appearance was no illusion. Usually tasked with devising countermeasures against the enemy’s new magic weapons, she had pushed herself through the night to maintain defensive magic. Now, she was forced to work again by another order.
”Tania-sama, Satsuki. I’m sorry to bother you when you’re tired, but could you come with me? The brass is calling for you,” Marsetta said.
”Very well, noja,” Tania replied.
”Y-Yes!” Satsuki said.
They were being summoned by Roost Duke Badcage, the man responsible for Pikeaxe Fort⁵, and General Oromanso. Led by Marsetta, Tania and Satsuki headed toward the military defense headquarters.
Inside a grim room of the stone fortress stood the ‘brass’ Marsetta had mentioned. As Tania and her group entered, the officers first offered a crisp, military salute.
”Thank you for coming, Tania-sama. And please accept our sincere apologies for the trouble caused to a ‘Hero of the Founding’…” Duke Roost said, speaking on behalf of the group.
He had silver hair and red eyes. Tania, seemingly unbothered, thought to herself, His appearance is similar to my daughter’s, yet he doesn’t say ‘noja’.
”Think nothing of it, noja. Satsuki here tried her best to stop me. It was my own selfishness that led me to meddle. Tell the current sovereign as much, noja,” Tania said.
”…Thank you. His Majesty had strictly instructed us not to rely on Tania-sama…” the Duke replied.
”A good mindset to have, noja. I am not kind enough to lend a hand to those who will not stir themselves. Even compared to past generations, you are a fine army. However, those magic weapons were an irregularity, noja…”
Duke Roost and his men trembled with shame at being comforted by the Hero of the Founding. Furthermore, they had to pile on another humiliation. The Duke gritted his teeth and clenched his fists.
”Regarding that matter…”
”Ah, you mean the mass production of the PHZ⁶ (Ultra-Compact Magic Weapon), noja?” Tania asked.
”Yes… That is why we summoned you. Based on the recent battle, we’ve concluded that—mortifying as it is—we cannot withstand such an offensive repeatedly. We are in a desperate situation where we don’t know when they will strike again, but we believe our only option is to gamble on the mass production of these ultra-compact magic weapons…”
It was an agonizing decision. These men were at the heart of the military, the representatives of those in this world who believed most in the ‘individual’ strength of arms. Ideally, they wanted to protect the country with their honed power and skill. But currently, that was impossible.
”They attacked us according to their schedule; can we not strike back? We’ve reached the point where international appearances no longer matter, noja,” Tania noted.
”We considered it, but it would be difficult… An attack now would either mean forcing the burden of guerrilla warfare on the volunteers or a suicidal all-out charge. Either way, if the fort is targeted, even if we take some enemies with us, we lose. We have no choice but to hold this position,” the Duke explained.
Fortuitously, despite their pride, these men served an enlightened monarch and were relatively accustomed to new ideas. Though filled with regret, they were able to coolly choose the best path forward.
”So, you want me and Satsuki to take the lead, noja?” Tania asked.
”If we may be so bold… We heard that you both work at the same magic tool shop and possess the necessary know-how. Please, lend us your strength once more…!”
”I’d prefer to continue patrolling… but fine, I shall help, noja. Not that there’s any particularly grandiose method to it…”
Satsuki was the only one who felt a sense of impending doom at Tania’s statement. This was natural. The people of this world, having no experience with modern industry, were idyllic when it came to the concept of labor.
However, the men standing here were soldiers—accustomed to the same discipline and hardship as factory workers. They never imagined for a second that they were about to face something more terrifying than a battlefield. Thus, they spoke up.
”Whatever we can do, please give us your orders…!”
”Heh, you said it. Very well… Let the Death March begin, noja!!!” Tania declared.
Satsuki, being the only one who understood the true weight of those words, clutched her head despite being in front of her superiors. Tania, who had just declared a Death March, was a woman who had survived the hell of the ‘Tremble-Ddo-Buddy⁸‘ resale—a scene of carnage far worse than the release of the ‘Anal-series products’ Satsuki had witnessed.
”D-Death… march…?” the Duke asked.
”That’s right, noja! There is no time to be idling! First, gather those with nimble fingers and anyone with even a shred of magical power, noja! We will update every old-model ‘Hot-Shot-kun⁷‘ to the PHZ. Tell the mages that unless they are on defense duty, they can forget about sleeping! And you lot—construct a perfect production line and quality check department! If there is even a single delay, consider this country doomed, noja!”
Duke Roost and the others couldn’t understand even half of what Tania was saying. They were simply overwhelmed by her ferocious expression. Tania barked at their dazed state.
”YOUR RESPONSE?!”
Y-YES, MA’AM!!!
Thus, the Death March that would decide the fate of the Canaria Kingdom began.
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Summary:
Following the battle, the Canaria Kingdom forces prioritize treating the wounded, where Tania and the adventurers engage in lighthearted banter to boost morale. Senior mage Marsetta summons Tania and Satsuki to a meeting with the military brass, including Duke Roost. Facing a technological deficit against the enemy’s new weapons, the military leadership swallows their pride and requests the duo’s help in mass-producing magic items. Tania agrees and immediately initiates a brutal ‘Death March’ production schedule, much to Satsuki’s horror.
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Character Insight:
Tania shifts from her role as a ‘Hero of the Founding’ on the battlefield to a ruthless production manager. Her experience with ‘resale hell’ and shop management gives her a terrifying perspective on labor that the medieval-minded soldiers can’t comprehend. Meanwhile, Satsuki acts as the bridge between modern industrial trauma and the fantasy world, being the only one who truly fears the ‘Death March’ ahead.
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Behind the Scene:
The author uses the term ‘Death March’ (デスマーチ) to satirize the grueling overtime culture in the Japanese IT and manufacturing industries, contrasting it with the ‘heroic’ expectations of a fantasy military.
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T/L:
Notes:
• Witch of Fresh Verdure – A legendary elf from the Age of Heroes. She is a true ‘magic user’ from an era before formalized magic systems. She is an old friend of the Canaria Kingdom’s founding king.
• Laika – The beastwoman dog.
• Tania – An Elf adventurer who, despite her race’s reputation for low sex drive, is secretly quite passionate. She initially seemed ‘wasted’ (emotionally dry) to her friend Raika, but was easily introduced to the pleasure-items sold at ‘Harvest.’ She is easily embarrassed and attempts to maintain a dignified facade, despite her recent, frequent purchases. She wears practical but light armor over a simple cloth tunic and short pants, highlighting her grace and agility. Her primary relationship is one of friendly senior-junior with Raika.
• Kento – The owner of the magic tool shop ‘Harvest,’ which discretely sells adult goods. He’s a former overworked, ordinary salaryman from modern Japan who was suddenly transported (isekai’d) to this fantasy world. He has dark hair and an unremarkable appearance, typically wearing a plain, slightly suspicious-looking shop owner’s clothes looks like Kazuma Satou from certain series. He has a minimal amount of magic power, enough to craft his specialty items.
• Satsuki – A talented Court Mage who was forced to analyze the shop’s adult magic tools. Miranda’s granddaughter. Now she’s the new worker at Harvest, a development she finds both humiliating and surprisingly fulfilling due to the rapid progress in her research under Kento’s guidance. Has long black hair, palace mage robe, and staff.
• Balliston – An A-Rank adventurer known as ‘Deadly Poison.’ Has a kidnapper-like face and a servile laugh. Specializes in toxins.
• Marsetta – A senior court mage and specialist in magical weaponry. She has disheveled hair tied back, wears glasses, and has deep dark circles under her eyes from lack of sleep. She hasn’t eaten in two days and is under heavy pressure to find a countermeasure for the enemy’s weapons.
• Roost – Duke of Badcage and father of Tina Badcage. He has long silver hair mixed with some white, a cool-headed expression, and red eyes. Despite a relatively slender build, he possesses a strong fighting spirit.
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Edited by Kanaa-senpai.
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