Chapter 116 Imperial Capital
Edited by: Kanaa-senpai
It wasn’t exactly because I’d been practicing double jumps to kill time while waiting, but the guards at the checkpoint stopped me dead in my tracks.
From here on, dangerous goods were strictly prohibited. Psionic Power¹ users and augmented human beings were currently subject to temporary entry restrictions. Because mystical objects capable of seeing through lies were installed throughout the area, any merchant caught making a false declaration faced immediate imprisonment. If you resisted, they’d make you stand—not in a hallway as some light punishment—but right in front of the gate. With only your head.
”So, the male guest is a Psionic Power user himself… that’s a remarkably rare case, ssu,” the officer said.
”I can’t go in?” I asked.
”There will be no problem. I stake the pride of my duty on solving this for you, ssu,” the officer replied.
”I’m fine either way, really. Don’t push yourself too hard,” I said.
”Please, do not concern yourself. I will settle this, ssu. Absolutely,” she insisted.
The older sister from the Special Higher Police at the reception was clearly at her wit’s end. It seemed the notorious ‘Tokko’ were still very much in their prime.
However, she was no match for my dejected expression. On the inside, I’m a grown man, so the whole situation was incredibly awkward. My long-awaited trip was on the verge of being ruined by a flat refusal at the gates.
Lately, it seems very few males manifest as Psionic Power users even after undergoing the Oath of Fealty Ritual². Perhaps because I’d only applied right before arriving, there appeared to be a discrepancy in the paperwork. I suppose I can understand why they’re cautious about letting a dangerous individual like me—someone who can beat people to a pulp with his bare hands even in a tourist trap—enter the city. Then again, turning me away when I haven’t done anything wrong would be far too pitiful. If I actually burst into tears, the officer in charge might suffer a mental breakdown from the sheer guilt.
I should probably try to smooth things over.
”We will proceed with the application for a special exemption. Therefore, there is no need for you to lament, ssu,” the officer said.
”I might look like this, but I’m an adult on the inside, so don’t let it get to you. I know this is just a procedural hiccup and not the fault of you sisters,” I replied.
”I see. If you’ve grown that much, then you are indeed no longer a child, ssu,” she said.
”No, really, I’m a full-grown adult. Life is complicated,” I said.
”I understand, ssu,” she replied.
The police officers narrowed their eyes as they looked at me. Their gaze was uncomfortably warm.
”Do I really look that much like a kid? For the record, my mental age is higher than yours. You probably won’t believe it, but…” I said.
”Is that so, ssu?” she replied.
”…It’s true,” I muttered.
”I believe you, ssu. …What an adorable person!” she said.
I felt a massive misunderstanding was taking root, but since they were acting so heart-warmed, I decided to let it go. Boys my age usually hate being treated like children, but no matter what I said, I was a total child in their eyes.
* * *
After a series of rigorous inspections—including a check for involuntary self-destruction-type Psionic Powers—I finally received permission to enter the city the following day.
The Imperial Guards³ weren’t allowed in yet. For the next few days, they’d undergo their own inspections without me, then return to Kujukuri⁴ to wait for their entry permits to be finalized.
I gave the three of them charms containing the hair I’d been gradually collecting. I also made sure to hand over portions for the Imperial Guards waiting back at home. Since everyone was equally worried about one another, I gave them each a hug. Lady Maggot accepted it solemnly, while Lady Vocal Slut accepted it with visible delight. Those two were quite large; I found myself genuinely sad to say goodbye. Lady Sow tried to dodge me with all sorts of excuses, so I caught her and rubbed her head vigorously.
I worried it might be a common-sense-defying display, but apparently, in the Imperial Capital⁵, it’s a standard custom for nobles to lightly hug high-ranking women in public or receive a kiss on the back of the hand. The surrounding pedestrians didn’t even bat an eye. I liked the Imperial Capital already.
As a bonus, I gave the driver lady a hug as well.
”Why even me… ahh…” she murmured.
”Thanks for all the hard work. You’ve been a big help. Try to get a little better at driving, okay? It’s dangerous out there,” I said.
”Yes, I promise you, desu wa. It would be my honor if we could accompany you again, desu wa,” she replied.
She seemed to have shrunk into herself. Incidentally, because of her driving blunder, Lady Sow has taken a dislike to her, so a second time is probably a long shot.
* * *
After crossing the checkpoint, I was guided to a plaza anchored by a clock tower. The ground was laid with brick. Three-story Western-style buildings lined the square, and inverted triangular pennants hung in the sky over the main street, seemingly stitching the architecture together. Crowds of people passed by wearing hats and carrying canes or parasols. The Western atmosphere was remarkably dense; it felt like stepping directly into a film.
I was supposed to meet my caretaker here, but even after waiting for some time, no one appeared.
As I stood there looking bored, a woman elegantly dressed in a military uniform knelt before me.
”You there, young man, are you lost? You must be troubled. There is a guard station nearby; allow me to escort you there,” she said.
”No, please don’t mind me,” I replied.
”Don’t say that. I simply cannot leave you be. Where are your companions? It is quite worrying to see someone as lovely as yourself alone without so much as an attendant,” she said.
”I’m waiting for someone,” I said.
”I see. That is a relief. It seems I was being unnecessarily meddlesome. My apologies, have a wonderful day, fair sir,” she said.
As the officer departed, a lady in a dress who had just stepped out of a carriage knelt to meet my eyes.
”It seemed a strange woman was accosting you, but are you alright? The Imperial Capital can be dangerous. The public order on this thoroughfare in particular is not quite what it should be,” she said.
”I’m not particularly troubled. She was actually a very nice person,” I replied.
”My. Perhaps you are at an age where you don’t yet know how terrifying women can be. Where did you come from? I truly cannot leave you in such a state,” she said.
She folded her parasol and attempted to coax me into her carriage, so I gave her a polite but firm decline. At the moment, I was being hit on by a staggering number of people. Almost every interaction was an invitation for a date thinly veiled as an act of kindness. It was shocking that such a phenomenon existed in this world. Mentally exhausted, I continued to turn down over ten groups of wealthy-looking women in that plaza alone.
In the shadows of the buildings, I spotted a pair of plain, bespectacled beauties. They were observing me from the edge of a cafe terrace where a good old—no, a truly ancient—rockabilly record was playing.
Because my physical abilities had increased and my hearing was far superior to an average person’s, I could easily pick up their conversation.
”Hey, that boy. Isn’t he quite a ‘schöne mädchen’? It would be wonderful if we could invite him to some ‘naturalism’ and make it ‘easy’,” one of them whispered.
”For gentlemen like us? People will just say our heads are ‘Mitsukoshi’ again,” the other replied.
”Do you need something?” I asked, turning toward them.
”Hyah!?” she gasped.
”A-ah. Uh, that, well… we weren’t looking at Your Lordship! We just happened to be interested in a shop in that direction. By the way, wh-wh-what are your hobbies?” she stammered.
”Stalking. I even have a specialized skill for it,” I replied.
”A-s-s-stalking? That is a wonderful hobby! By the way, how would you feel about a ‘date’ at the Imperial Gardens? If you’re unfamiliar with the Imperial Capital, I would be honored to show you the sights,” she said.
It seemed there were women like this too—those who clearly weren’t used to talking to men.
Yet another refusal. My nerves were fraying just from the act of waiting. I almost wanted to go with them, but I knew if I followed these people, it would just end with a cup of tea. Unfortunately, nothing scandalous would happen, and I had a meeting to keep.
I had researched the customs of the Imperial Capital through my studies. Currently, it was fashionable for noblewomen whose futures were already set to enjoy a temporary moratorium on their responsibilities. These young ladies were the heirs of aristocratic families promised in marriage to males, or at the very least, youths from affluent and reckless noble families. Their goal was a final fling before settling into marriage or a career. The mild immorality of having tea with an unknown man provided them a certain thrill. In other words, a city-style ‘freedom romance’ roleplay was trending among the youth. This recent trend was a frequent target of criticism from the older generation.
Of course, their underlying physiological aversion toward male sexuality remained. However, it was undeniably a novel experience for them, and apparently, there are boys who get caught up in it out of curiosity or by being dazzled by the woman’s social standing. The entrance to the Imperial Capital was a notorious spot for this. They likely saw my youthful appearance and thought they had an easy opening. If things had gone well, they might have at least managed to hold my hand.
* * *
And then, one more person called out to me.
”I have kept you waiting. Allow me to offer my greetings once more. I am Setsuno of the Urin Family⁶. I shall be taking care of you during your stay in the Imperial Capital from today onward,” she said.
Finally, my contact had arrived. It was an elderly noblewoman clad in a beige visiting dress and white gloves.
”I trust you haven’t been ‘watering’ those reckless youths? You were being targeted by quite a few flamboyant ‘autumn waves’,” she noted.
”Were you watching from a distance?” I asked.
”Hmm. You handled them reasonably well, it seems. For now, I suppose I can say you’ve passed,” she replied.
”It was my first time being invited for tea by a woman, so it was a fresh experience. It was also my first time walking around outside entirely alone,” I said.
”I suppose so. It is lamentable, but such occurrences are quite commonplace here. You will grow accustomed to it in time. For a first outing, you did quite splendidly,” she said.
While I wouldn’t go so far as to call her a woman of ice, the silver-haired noblewoman certainly exuded a chilly impression.
This Lady Setsuno was someone serving as a male security officer. She would be managing my long-term stay comprehensively—arranging reservations for tourist attractions and lodging, and even preparing my meals and wardrobe. In short, I was hiring her services with my own funds for the duration of my stay.
I had harbored a fantasy of three beautiful women nervously guiding me around, but the reality was quite different. Instead, a woman who looked like the gaunt mistress of a Western manor had appeared. Well, she might have been a beauty once… a very long time ago.
”Please follow me. First, we shall pay our respects to Hachiman-sama⁷,” she said.
”Have you been doing this job for a long time, Setsuno-san?” I asked.
”…”
To my question, she offered only a stony silence.
I was escorted to a massive shrine on foot. There, I reported to the god that I had safely arrived in the town (or street) where His Majesty the Emperor resides, performed the traditional two bows, two claps, and one bow, and prayed for my safety during the stay.
The shrine grounds were teeming with male and female pairs, as well as elderly couples on holiday. Here, the gender ratio appeared to be roughly 1:20. Since crossing the checkpoint, there had been a noticeable decrease in the number of women. There were no townspeople who could be identified as such at a glance; instead, flashy boys and women in magnificent Western attire were the ones who caught the eye.
”I formerly served as an advisor,” she said suddenly.
”…Eh?” I blinked.
”I am referring to my previous occupation,” she clarified.
”Ah, I see. That sounds like a very honorable duty,” I said.
”I am humbled by your praise,” she said.
As we passed under the torii gate and out onto the main road, Lady Setsuno spoke without so much as glancing at me. Apparently, I hadn’t been ignored after all.
An advisor meant she was a secretary to a cabinet minister or a similar official. She was clearly a person of impeccable character. According to my prior research, she hails from an aristocratic clan, so even if she doesn’t hold a title herself, she must have spent her life in close proximity to the nobility. She seemed remarkably accustomed to being around males.
Her wrinkled eyes were piercingly stern.
”By the way, Your Lordship seems to possess absolutely no knowledge of etiquette or manners,” she pointed out sharply.
”That’s a bit of a sudden ‘greeting’,” I said.
”Do you not even have the courtesy to say ‘I’m intruding’ when entering someone’s home? Before entering the sacred ground where Hachiman-sama resides, you should have bowed at the torii gate. Even the form of your bow is lamentable. You lower your head far too much. You are not a woodpecker; bend from the hips, not the neck,” she lectured.
”Even if you say that, there wasn’t a single proper shrine in my hometown. I never had the opportunity to go, so the custom completely slipped my mind,” I argued.
”Do not say ‘go’; you must say ‘visit’. And for heaven’s sake, do something about that unsightly way you wear your clothes—it looks as though you’ve dressed a stone mortar in a kimono,” she snapped.
Th-this old lady is brutal.
I reflexively adjusted the slightly misshapen belt I’d tied myself. I felt truly pathetic. To think there were women like this in the world…
”Lately, there are far too many people visiting the Imperial Capital for mere excursions or sightseeing, and frivolous types have increased considerably. If you ask me, such people are not noble families but mere ‘half-houses’,” she said.
”H-huh,” I stammered.
”Let me be clear from the start. I have no intention of providing half-hearted guidance. In one month’s time, I will ensure you can ascend to the Palace without shaming yourself. Provided, of course, Your Lordship is so inclined,” she said.
”You’re intense, Setsuno-san. I heard you were a sightseeing guide, but you’re more like a schoolteacher,” I said.
I silently swallowed the words ‘and an exceptionally strict one at that’. Even when I said that, she didn’t soften her tone in the slightest.
”Not at all. When I was young, every person who visited the Imperial Capital straightened their kimono collars in this fashion. Everyone learned the capital’s etiquette thoroughly. As I am an old human being, I have no intention of changing my methods. If you find it disagreeable, you are free to seek another caretaker,” she said.
”…No, you’re quite reliable,” I muttered.
”Then I may consider that I have formally accepted the charge?” she asked.
”Yes… please do,” I replied.
It seemed I’d managed to hire an incredibly rigorous mentor.
The fact that she was an older woman was likely a strategic move by the administration, sensing a potential crisis in my chastity values. By ‘administration’, I meant the Imperial Guards. Today of all days, I found myself resenting their overprotectiveness.
Looking around, the caretakers assigned to other males passing by were younger ladies who seemed much more lax. However, they didn’t appear to have the backbone to scold the opposite sex. I wondered if this level of assertiveness toward males was something one acquired through special training or years of experience.
”Now then, I shall prepare the mansion (aka villa) where you will be staying, so please enjoy yourself until the Hour of the Monkey,” she said.
Without so much as a hint of a smile, Lady Setsuno ushered me into a jinrikisha.
* * *
A pale cherry-blossom light cascaded from above. Gentle sunlight, filtered through silk fabric of a hairpin-pink hue, flooded the streets (or alleys). The paths were bathed in the warm radiance cast by the cherry trees.
Under the clear skies, out-of-season cherry blossoms were in full, proud bloom, and the ground was so carpeted in the mottled shadows of the fallen petals that there was scarcely a place to step. The sunlight never quite touched the bare earth. The canopy of cherry trees—which were significantly taller than those in my previous life—mellowed even the brilliance of a clear day into something soft and ethereal.
No, it was truly a city of flowers. It was no exaggeration; no matter where I turned my head, blossoms filled my vision. It was likely the work of some mystical mystery. A capital where the rain of cherry blossoms never ceases—that was the Imperial Capital.
This tourist city had been constructed using various mystical objects in a Japanese-style fantasy aesthetic, following a decree to establish a scenic and magnificent palace that would rival the royal capitals of foreign nations. The central themes were cherry blossoms and chrysanthemums. Land routes in the pattern of cherry blossoms and waterways shaped like chrysanthemums radiated uniformly from the Imperial Palace.
”Wow, it’s beautiful. What an incredible view. The sky is so vast, and… somehow! It’s just amazing. It’s a great sight, though… it looks like a nightmare to clean up,” I said.
I could only offer the most basic impressions of such magnificent scenery. I’m the worst; I felt like I was starting to hate myself for it.
”As expected of your keen insight. The Imperial Capital employs specialized cleaners and disposal merchants specifically for the flower petals,” the puller remarked.
The jinrikisha continued to carry me along. The sweat-drenched female puller was kind enough to warmly follow up on my ‘trash-tier’ comment. She was sweet, but that sweetness only made my lack of vocabulary hurt more.
The puller asked me, “I shall take you wherever you desire. Perhaps Ueno⁸, or Shinjuku⁹? If you have a specific destination in mind, please do say so.”
”Hmm, what should I do? If I stray too far from where I’m staying, the timing might be tight…” I pondered.
”In that case, would you be willing to leave the itinerary to me?” she asked.
”Sure, I’ll count on you,” I replied.
* * *
The hour-long journey flew by like a dream. One major characteristic of the Imperial Capital was its total lack of roadways. Consequently, no vehicles operated here at all. Even horse-drawn carriages were banned from the town (aka central district) once you passed the checkpoint. This was the direct result of male selfishness. Roadways vanished because they were considered an interference with the aesthetic of a stroll.
Even after the wheels came to a stop, I still felt the breeze on my cheeks as we reached a vast canal carrying a cooling wind. A pierless bridge spanned the Great River. Below, crystal-clear water flowed silently, and red, white, and gold brocade carp played in the currents.
”Oh! It’s incredible. Look, mist is starting to roll in,” I said.
As I moved toward the center of the bridge, a white haze began to drift across the water, making me feel as if I were floating in a dreamscape. When the wind blew, the thin mist would part, revealing the blue silhouette of Mt. Fuji in the far distance.
”When the depth of night falls, the river surface reflects a sea of stars instead of the clouds. The Imperial Capital sinks into a quiet slumber, and no boorish artificial lights remain. A glittering Milky Way spans the canal, and the Great Bridge is transformed into the Magpie Bridge of the Tanabata myth,” the puller explained.
Well, I probably won’t come back tonight, since I’ll likely be busy having sex with someone using Psionic Power. Or I’ll be all alone, producing milk. That probably feels better than looking at the stars anyway. I really am scum…
* * *
I had lunch at a Western-style building. Since I couldn’t read the German menu, I simply ordered whatever the waiter recommended. It was a cutlet sandwich from Shitaya. It was so good I could have cried. Because of the flavor, even my vocabulary seemed to have evaporated.
In the afternoon, I went out for some shopping. The various shops, stalls, and trendy boutiques were built modestly, almost hidden among the cherry trees. Everyone took home whatever they wanted right then and there. After all, the cost would be recorded and settled by the Imperial Guard later. There was no need to worry about the price; I didn’t even bother carrying a wallet.
”…The Imperial Capital is a terrifying place; it feels like the collective desires of Minato-ku girls packed into a single town. It’s night and day compared to Kujukuri,” I wondered.
The Imperial Capital was a wonderful town that seemed to purify even my own vulgarity. Upon arriving at the cottage where I was to stay, I found that the furniture and decor I’d idly mentioned liking in the shops had already been installed. I felt like I was going to scream. It was roughly ten percent joy and ninety percent pure fear.
—
Notes:
• Psionic Power – Mental energy concept in Chapter 35’s lecture. Trash-san teaches it to strengthen the protagonist’s mind after dungeon ordeals.
• Setsuno – An elderly noblewoman from the Urin family. Acts as a caretaker and guide for the protagonist. Former secretary to a cabinet minister.
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Edited by Kanaa-senpai.
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