Chapter 257 To the West ②
Edited by: Kanaa-senpai
While heading west to subjugate the evil female dragon Zil Meina, the subjugation force encountered a small-scale “Stampede¹.” From inside their carriage, the Canaria-Coalmine Court Mages-Satsuki, Marsetta, and Kushe-immediately sensed the abnormality.
”Maybe we should head out too. This doesn’t feel right…” Satsuki said, her voice laced with worry.
”Hmm, I wonder. If Mr. Martin says it’s okay, then I’m sure it is,” Kushe replied.
The voices of beasts and the frantic sounds of battle echoed from outside. Satsuki paced restlessly, but Kushe remained composed. Though Kushe often treated PopolCount Martin-who was a notorious siscon and meicon-like total dirt, she deeply respected his actual abilities. However, even she had to admit the atmosphere outside was growing increasingly ominous.
”I’ll leave the call to Marumaru. You’re technically the one in charge here, right?” Kushe asked.
”I suppose so… Let’s go check the situation just in case,” Marsetta said. “But do not move far from the carriage. Unless the vehicle itself is in danger, independent combat is strictly forbidden. Understood?”
The other two nodded in unison. While they were first-class as mages, they lacked confidence in close-quarters brawling. Their sheer destructive power was unquestionable, but in a chaotic battlefield where friend and foe were jumbled together, it was nearly impossible to fire off spells without hitting their own men.
The feat of moving through a battlefield like a mobile artillery unit while slaughtering enemies was reserved for a tiny fraction of mages specialized in front-line combat-people like the adventurer elf Tania, who was hailed as a hero of the nation’s founding.
Consequently, the three women carefully maintained their defensive wards, focusing entirely on protection as they stepped out of the carriage. What met their eyes was a nightmare: a pack of Shadow Wolves was tearing into the soldiers, while a “herd” of Giant Bears was surging forward, literally crushing the wolves under their massive paws.
”That many Giant Bears!?” Satsuki cried out.
”This is wrong… Giant Bears aren’t supposed to form herds!” Kushe shouted.
”It’s a Stampede!” Marsetta yelled.
In a Stampede, even monsters that are naturally solitary begin to move as a unified, mindless wave. That is part of the horror. A Giant Bear is a menacing creature several times larger than the “Brown Bears” of Kento’s original world, though they are usually considered manageable in this realm. They are typically cautious, rarely approach human settlements, and lack specialized magical attacks. A skilled warrior can take one down alone, and a mage can easily pick them off from a distance.
But that ease of management relies on them being solitary and easy to spot. The danger level spikes if one is unlucky enough to find a mated pair, but a “herd” of dozens surging like a tidal wave was a catastrophe.
”Don’t get bogged down with individuals! Coordinate with the mages to funnel the herd to the flanks!” General Oromanso, the beastman commander, roared over the din. Queen Cecile had assigned her elite beastman soldiers as guards specifically for the transport of the “Ddo-Buddy Cannon².” “You men are the shield! Do not let a single monster reach the mages or the carriage!”
The beastman soldiers were the same resilient warriors who had stopped the heavy cavalry charges during the war with the Coalmine Kingdom. They locked their shields in a triangular “fish-scale” formation, bracing themselves to deflect the Stampede’s momentum. Defensive magic shimmered from the rear to reinforce them. For the moment, the line held, though several stray monsters had slipped into the backline, turning the rear into a bloody melee.
”Does the rear look like it’s in trouble?” Satsuki asked.
”Possibly… If we’re going to help, that’s where we’re needed,” Marsetta replied.
”No, wait, you two,” Kushe interrupted. “Mr. Martin is back there. The real problem is whatever comes after this wave passes.”
Satsuki and Marsetta gasped. When it came to reading the flow of a battlefield, Kushe had a clear advantage. In combat, one must not only react to the immediate threat but predict the enemy’s next move. In this case, it was the threat driving the Giant Bears from behind.
”I see… if every Giant Bear in the forest has been flushed out like this…” Marsetta muttered.
”Yeah. Something drove them here. I don’t know if it’ll chase them this far, but…” Kushe said.
”Should we prep the Ddo-Buddy Cannon?” Satsuki asked.
”No, Mr. Martin said it was okay, so it probably isn’t a monster that requires the cannon. But let’s get it ready to fire at a moment’s notice. I think staying put is our best option,” Kushe suggested.
The three nodded to each other, following Kushe’s lead. It was painful to simply watch while the beastmen and their fellow mages bled, but they held their ground. Eventually, the initial momentum of the herd was sapped, and the battle devolved into localized skirmishes. If a soldier got distracted by a bear, a Shadow Wolf would leap from the darkness. Other monsters were mixed in now-Agari-monkeys pelting stones and Horned Crows diving from the sky.
Satsuki and the others finally began providing support, sniping at the crows since there was no risk of friendly fire in the air. However, their attention remained fixed on the southwest, where the Stampede had originated. And then…
”It looks like the guest of honor has arrived,” Kushe whispered.
”A Chimera!? It’s huge!” Satsuki screamed.
The creature that emerged was a monstrosity with the heads of a lion, a goat, and a snake. Its size was unprecedented-more than double that of a Giant Bear. It was likely a “Lord” that had reigned over the deepest part of some distant forest. The fact that such a creature had been flushed into the open meant something even more terrifying had driven it out… but that was a problem for later.
”All right,” Marsetta said, her eyes narrowing. “Our current forces could probably handle it, but that thing is the perfect target for a live-fire test of the Ddo-Buddy Cannon. I’ll go get permission from General Oromanso. Satsuki, Kuu-chan, get it ready!”
”Yes!” Satsuki replied.
”Roger that!” Kushe added.
At Marsetta’s command, Satsuki and Kushe scrambled into the carriage parked next to their own. They ripped away the heavy tarp, and the anti-Zil Meina decisive weapon-the Ddo-Buddy Cannon-revealed itself with a resounding SCHWING!
”‘Testicular Circuit³‘ set! The ‘Erection Mechanism⁴‘ is… should I wait for Miss Marsetta?” Satsuki asked.
”It should be fine,” Kushe said, checking the valves. “With the Ddo-Buddy’s sheer erection-power, this thing will be fully torqued and rock-hard in a split second.”
”…Kushe, watch your phrasing,” Satsuki muttered.
”We’re literally looking at a giant set of balls and a shaft. Isn’t it a bit late for ‘phrasing’?” Kushe asked.
”I know, but still!” Satsuki cried.
They traded barbs to mask their fear as the Chimera made its move. The beast slammed a massive foreleg down-THOOM!-the impact vibrating through the earth. The beastmen at the apex of the triangle were forced back. The snake-headed tail lashed out from the side, slamming into the magic barriers with a sickening screech of strained energy. The lion head let out a roar that shook the very ground, followed immediately by the goat head’s high-pitched bleat.
To Kento, it would have sounded like a dissonant duet from hell. Even the mages found themselves trembling. Isn’t the permission ready yet?! Just as the thought crossed their minds, several brave, familiar howls tore through the chaos.
”GRRRRRRR!”
”WOOF! WOOF!”
”AWOOOOOOOO!”
”””AWOOOOOOOOOOO!”””
It was the chorus of a certain “Pack” that Satsuki knew all too well.
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Summary:
The subjugation team is caught in a magical ‘Stampede’ of monsters while heading west. Satsuki, Marsetta, and Kushe prepare to deploy a specialized phallic-themed weapon, the Ddo-Buddy Cannon, against a massive Chimera. The chapter ends with the arrival of a familiar pack of wolves/allies.
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Character Insight:
Kushe demonstrates superior battlefield awareness, correctly identifying that the Stampede was caused by a larger predator. Satsuki shows her typical nervousness but remains committed to the absurd ‘Ddo-Buddy’ weapon’s operation.
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Behind the Scenes:
The ‘Ddo-Buddy Cannon’ (Dobotti-hou) is a pun-filled weapon consistent with the novel’s ‘Adult Goods’ theme, utilizing lewd terminology as functional magical mechanics.
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TL Notes:
Notes:
• Marsetta – A senior court mage and specialist in magical weaponry. She has disheveled hair tied back, wears glasses, and has deep dark circles under her eyes from lack of sleep. She hasn’t eaten in two days and is under heavy pressure to find a countermeasure for the enemy’s weapons.
• Satsuki – A talented Court Mage who was forced to analyze the shop’s adult magic tools. Miranda’s granddaughter. Now she’s the new worker at Harvest, a development she finds both humiliating and surprisingly fulfilling due to the rapid progress in her research under Kento’s guidance. Has long black hair, palace mage robe, and staff.
• Kushe – The Chief Mage of the Coalmine Kingdom. She has dark green hair grown out haphazardly and wears a mage robe loosely over her shoulders. She has a blunt, informal, and somewhat insensitive personality, focused on her ‘thinking experiments.’
• Martin – Lily’s non-blood-related younger brother. Considered the strongest candidate to succeed the Popol family due to his lineage and manifested ‘power. He has pink hair.
• Tania – An Elf adventurer who, despite her race’s reputation for low sex drive, is secretly quite passionate. She initially seemed ‘wasted’ (emotionally dry) to her friend Raika, but was easily introduced to the pleasure-items sold at ‘Harvest.’ She is easily embarrassed and attempts to maintain a dignified facade, despite her recent, frequent purchases. She wears practical but light armor over a simple cloth tunic and short pants, highlighting her grace and agility. Her primary relationship is one of friendly senior-junior with Raika.
• Kento – The owner of the magic tool shop ‘Harvest,’ which discretely sells adult goods. He’s a former overworked, ordinary salaryman from modern Japan who was suddenly transported (isekai’d) to this fantasy world. He has dark hair and an unremarkable appearance, typically wearing a plain, slightly suspicious-looking shop owner’s clothes looks like Kazuma Satou from certain series. He has a minimal amount of magic power, enough to craft his specialty items.
• Oromanso – A General serving as the assistant to Duke Roost. Bear beastman.
• Cecile – A high-ranking, powerful woman in the capital who possesses the authority to regulate business and commerce, particularly concerning moral or public order issues. She is currently investigating Kento’s shop, ‘Harvest.’ Have long golden hair, elegant, and wearing expensive white dress with gold accesories.
• Ray – A Viscount with flaxen-gold hair in a men’s wolf cut. Possesses a sweet mask and a prince-like aura. It is revealed at the end that Ray is actually a woman. She has started manufacturing and selling adult goods similar to Kento’s products in the Royal Capital’s pleasure district.
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Edited by Kanaa-senpai.
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