Chapter 268 The Nixfen Viscountcy ③
Edited by: Kanaa-senpai
Viscount Nixfen Ray, a stunning woman who favored the dashing silhouette of a gentleman’s wardrobe, was in an uncommonly radiant mood after receiving a letter from Kento. Satsuki, a court mage of no small skill, watched her friend for a moment before broaching a topic close to her heart: the whereabouts of their mutual friend, Sister Amelia.
Amelia was supposed to be journeying toward the Ferguson Kingdom to the west, accompanied by her mentor and superior, Mother Marian. They were on a mission as old as the Church of Demon-Subjugation¹ itself – to purge the land of monsters and stand against the encroaching “Stampede.”
Based on the timeline of their departure from the Royal Capital, they should have been slightly ahead of Ray’s party. Their paths were meant to diverge, making it unlikely they would pass through the Nixfen territory at all… and yet, hope flickered.
”Oh, those two? They visited this town just a short while ago,” Ray said.
”Really!? If you have any specifics on when they were here or how they looked, I’d love to know!” Satsuki asked.
Satsuki leaned forward, her eyes alight. Her eagerness wasn’t just a favor to Kento – who had asked her to keep an eye out for them – it was born of her own deep-seated worry. To Satsuki, Amelia was a kindred spirit. They were tied together by their love for the same man, but also by their shared circumstances: both were “dispatched” mages, neither was quite ready for motherhood, and both possessed a sense of maidenly shame that the other, more aggressive members of Kento’s circle seemed to have discarded long ago.
Amelia’s earnest devotion to the Church’s teachings was endearing, but in times like these, it was a liability. Satsuki feared her friend might be pushing herself too far.
”Let’s see… I’d say it was about two or three weeks ago,” Ray mused. “Since I had met Sister Amelia briefly before leaving the Royal Capital, she made a point to stop by since she was in the area.”
”Wait, but Amelia left the Royal Capital before you, right? Two weeks ago seems…” Satsuki started.
”Well, unlike me – I rode straight for home – they’ve been taking their time making detours. They’re stopping at local churches to gauge the situation and recruiting more hands for the journey west. By the time they left here, they had a group of about ten priests and nuns in tow,” Ray explained.
”I see…” Satsuki said, letting out a long, shuddering breath.
She remembered Kento’s account of their departure and his promise that they would “definitely return.” Still, she couldn’t help but worry that two women traveling in this climate might be seeking a martyr’s end. Knowing they had a full escort settled her racing heart.
”And did she say where they were headed next?” Satsuki asked.
”Still west, visiting the neighboring churches along the way. Apparently, they’re charting their course toward the general direction the monsters are attacking from, so you might just catch up to them somewhere,” Ray replied.
”Thank you,” Satsuki said with a resolute nod. If Amelia was out there fighting, she couldn’t afford to slack off either.
Ray opened her mouth to ask Satsuki about the rumored “White Light,” but the question died in her throat as a commotion erupted outside.
”R-Report!!!” a messenger screamed, bursting in with an ashen face. “Viscount-sama! The… the Stampede! A dragon is…!!!”
”What!?” Ray shouted.
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The first to catch the scent was Slop, the Alpha of the dog-beastman pack assigned to the Zil Meina² subjugation force. He flared his nostrils, a low growl vibrating in his chest as he turned to his wife.
”It’s here… Rikka, get the fighters ready!” Slop barked.
”Right on it! How big is the haul?” Rikka asked.
”Massive! And there’s a big one leading the pack! I’m going to pass the word to the military!” Slop yelled.
He bolted, shouting orders to the nearest beastman soldiers. The alarm rippled through the Nixfen guards. Because Slop’s nose was legendary among the ranks, the military didn’t wait for visual confirmation – the gears of war began to turn immediately.
Soon, the lookouts atop the ramparts spotted the “shadows” blooming on the horizon. The veteran soldiers felt a chill of recognition. This felt exactly like the dread that had preceded the assault on the Royal Capital.
By the time the news reached Ray, Satsuki, and General Oromanso, the horizon was already dark. A Stampede led by a dragon. Satsuki didn’t wait for a formal briefing; with Oromanso’s grim nod of approval, she sprinted toward the specialized carriage housing the Ddo-Buddy Cannon³.
It was a grim stroke of luck. During the last minor skirmish with a Chimera, the dog-beastmen had finished the job before Satsuki could even warm up the circuits. Now, with a dragon on the doorstep, they had the perfect target for a live-fire exercise before the final showdown with Zil Meina.
”Kushe! Marsetta-san! Are you ready!?” Satsuki yelled as she skidded into the staging area.
”Yeah, we can head out any second! Let’s get the carriage moving!” Marsetta shouted.
”Honestly, I wish we could have set it up on the walls,” Kushe lamented.
The three mages piled into the reinforced carriage, the horses’ hooves thundering against the cobblestones as they raced toward the main gates of the town of Fenoro.
The streets were a chaos of panicked citizens and guards trying to maintain order. The beastman driver bellowed for the crowds to part, the carriage swerving around panicked merchants. Satsuki looked out the window, watching the dog-beastmen of the pack blurring past them on all fours.
Then, the world shook.
ROOOOOOOOOOOOOOARRRRRRR!!!!
A dragon’s roar, raw and primordial, shattered the air. The sheer volume of the sound sent the residents into a fresh frenzy, and the carriage was forced to a grinding halt as the road became blocked by a sea of people.
That was when she appeared – a vision of gallant nobility atop a snow-white stallion.
”CLEAR THE WAY!!!” Ray Nixfen’s voice rang out like a silver bell. “Everyone, return to your homes! Do not panic! So long as I, Ray Nixfen, am here, this town shall be protected!!!!”
Since her return from the Royal Capital, Ray had found her spine. She carried herself with a newfound authority that made the local girls squeal and the men stand taller. The people, moved by her courage, began to funnel back into the safety of the stone buildings.
”Now, move it!” Ray shouted, leading the way.
Her heart was hammering against her ribs with terror, but she didn’t let her mask slip for a second. She didn’t fully understand the Ddo-Buddy Cannon, but she knew Kento’s work. If Satsuki was bringing it out, it was the key to victory. She looked like a prince ripped from the pages of a storybook as she led the carriage forward.
As they cleared the gates, they saw the nightmare: a roiling carpet of monsters being driven forward by a massive dragon. It was a beast of the same caliber as the one that had nearly leveled the Royal Capital – the kind of monster that would have sent Kento into a cold sweat.
But the legendary heroes weren’t here today. The Royal Army wasn’t coming. They had the Nixfen regulars, a few national troops, and some dog-beastmen. And they had the Ddo-Buddy Cannon.
”‘Testicular Circuits’ – Set! ‘Erection Mechanism’ – Engaged! OPEN THE HOOD!” Marsetta commanded.
Satsuki and Kushe threw back the carriage’s canopy, revealing the Ddo-Buddy Cannon in all its glory.
The Nixfen soldiers nearby, currently locked in desperate melee with the vanguard of the swarm, stared in stunned silence. They looked at the three mages and then at the massive, suggestive weapon, seriously questioning the sanity of the court. They looked to their Lord for guidance, but Ray was simply laughing.
”Aha! Ahahaha! There’s no doubt about it – that’s a Lord Harvest original! Rejoice, everyone! Our territory is saved!”
Some thought their Lord had finally snapped under the pressure, but those who had known her since childhood saw something else. The girl who had grown up shy and riddled with self-doubt was gone. If she could laugh in the face of a dragon while looking at a giant phallic cannon, then maybe they really were safe.
Ray charged into the fray, her spear dancing as she cut down monsters, drawing strength from the towering presence of the weapon behind her.
”‘Testicular Circuits’ fully charged! Ready to release at any time!” Satsuki screamed.
”Copy that! I’m locking on! Depending on how this goes, be ready to fire again!” Marsetta yelled.
””Roger!”” Satsuki and Kushe replied.
Satsuki gripped the right Testicular Circuit with both hands, while Kushe took the left. They poured their mana into the spheres, feeling the energy begin to simmer and boil. Marsetta cradled the barrel, her eyes fixed on the dragon circling above.
The beast was arrogant. It was performing a grisly dance – diving to snatch a soldier in its maw, ascending to crunch them, and then looping back for another helping.
”Wait for the descent,” Marsetta whispered. “Wait for the target to grow… wait for it… wait…”
The dragon folded its wings and plummeted toward the carriage, its jaws unhinging.
”On three! Three… two… One…” Marsetta counted down.
”””RELEASE!!!!””” the mages screamed.
The three mages shouted in unison as the Ddo-Buddy Cannon erupted in a blinding flash. Satsuki and Kushe’s mana acted as the primer, sending the concentrated energy from the Testicular Circuits surging into the Seminal Vesicle manifold. The power combined and swelled into a tidal wave of raw force. It tore through the Urethral Circuit of the barrel Marsetta was hugging and exploded from the tip.
SPURRRRRRRRRT! WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSH—! SHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
‘SKREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!?!?!?’
A thick, viscous beam of pure white light lanced through the sky, impaling the dragon through its chest. The beast’s roar turned into a pathetic, high-pitched shriek of agony. The light didn’t stop – it punched through the monster and climbed higher, vaporizing the clouds before finally dissipating.
The dragon, its life-force spent, became a leaden weight. It tumbled from the sky and slammed into the earth with a bone-jarring THUD, crushing dozens of lesser monsters beneath its bulk far from the city walls.
””””YEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!”””” the soldiers cheered.
The cheer that went up from the soldiers was deafening. The Nixfen regulars and the dog-beastmen, who hadn’t seen the defense of the Royal Capital, were looking at the cannon with a new, terrified respect.
”Don’t just stand there gawking! Finish off the stragglers!” General Oromanso barked.
”Ahaha! Hahaha! We’re going to follow their lead! Everyone, give it your all! Hahahaha!” Ray Nixfen shouted.
General Oromanso remained strict, while Ray Nixfen couldn’t stop laughing as she issued orders to her subordinates. Soon, the majority of the monsters were hunted down, and the situation began to settle.
”We… we did it?” Satsuki panted.
”Yeah… we did,” Kushe replied.
”We sure did!” Marsetta cheered.
Satsuki and the others allowed themselves a small breath of relief, having fulfilled their duty. But their joy was short-lived. This dragon attack was merely the beginning of a much larger disaster that was about to break over the horizon.
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Summary:
Satsuki catches up with Ray Nixfen and learns that Amelia and Mother Marian passed through recently, heading west. Their reunion is interrupted by a dragon-led Stampede. Satsuki and her fellow mages use the ‘Ddo-Buddy Cannon’—a powerful, phallic-themed weapon created by Kento—to successfully shot down the dragon.
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Trivia:
- Amelia and Mother Marian are traveling with a group of ten now, not just the two of them.
- The ‘Ddo-Buddy Cannon’ was unable to be tested in the previous minor skirmish with a Chimera.
- Slop’s heightened sense of smell served as the early warning system for the army.
- The dragon killed is of the same class as the one that attacked the Royal Capital
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Character Insight:
Satsuki’s concern for Amelia stems from their shared personality traits, particularly their sense of shame and mutual love for Kento. Ray Nixfen embraces her role as a leader, using the absurdity of the Ddo-Buddy Cannon to boost morale rather than being embarrassed by it.
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Behind the Scenes:
The author uses the ‘Ddo-Buddy Cannon’ as a recurring gag that highlights Kento’s eccentric but undeniably effective engineering skills, often contrasting the weapon’s lewd appearance with the serious life-or-death stakes of battle.
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TL Notes:
Notes:
• Satsuki – A talented Court Mage who was forced to analyze the shop’s adult magic tools. Miranda’s granddaughter. Now she’s the new worker at Harvest, a development she finds both humiliating and surprisingly fulfilling due to the rapid progress in her research under Kento’s guidance. Has long black hair, palace mage robe, and staff.
• Amelia – The Sister of the Church of Demon-Subjugating, who usually buys from Kento, has light blue hair.
• Nixfen – A viscount aristocrat who has started manufacturing and selling adult goods similar to Kento’s products in the Royal Capital’s pleasure district. He is described as a ‘pretty boy’ or ‘gentle-looking man’ (yasao) but is a territory-holding noble likely trained in combat.
• Kento – The owner of the magic tool shop ‘Harvest,’ which discretely sells adult goods. He’s a former overworked, ordinary salaryman from modern Japan who was suddenly transported (isekai’d) to this fantasy world. He has dark hair and an unremarkable appearance, typically wearing a plain, slightly suspicious-looking shop owner’s clothes looks like Kazuma Satou from certain series. He has a minimal amount of magic power, enough to craft his specialty items.
• Ray – A Viscount with flaxen-gold hair in a men’s wolf cut. Possesses a sweet mask and a prince-like aura. It is revealed at the end that Ray is actually a woman. She has started manufacturing and selling adult goods similar to Kento’s products in the Royal Capital’s pleasure district.
• Marian – A ‘Mother’ and supervisor from the Church of Demon-Subjugation. Her appearance and demeanor defy the Church’s purported ‘chastity,’ instead she has wavy purple long hair, busty, black nun, tear mole under eye, and monroe walk. She has arrived with a clear purpose: to confront Kento about the ‘Devil’s Stick.
• Slop – Leader of the hound-kin pack; Laika’s father. Has orange hair and fluffy tail.
• Rikka – Member of the hound-kin pack; Laika’s mother. Has orange hair and fluffy tail. Energetic and teasing.
• Oromanso – A General serving as the assistant to Duke Roost. Bear beastman.
• Marsetta – A senior court mage and specialist in magical weaponry. She has disheveled hair tied back, wears glasses, and has deep dark circles under her eyes from lack of sleep. She hasn’t eaten in two days and is under heavy pressure to find a countermeasure for the enemy’s weapons.
• Kushe – The Chief Mage of the Coalmine Kingdom. She has dark green hair grown out haphazardly and wears a mage robe loosely over her shoulders. She has a blunt, informal, and somewhat insensitive personality, focused on her ‘thinking experiments.’
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Edited by Kanaa-senpai.
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