Chapter 79 The Demon Instructor
Edited by: Kanaa-senpai
Tester Life Day 32, Morning. Main Plaza. Sanada Yakumo.
There were thirty-three members of the shut-in group who had finally armed themselves and donned their armor. I instructed them to form parties of six or seven. As expected, several loners were left over, creating an uneven distribution, so I shoved them into the smaller groups wherever they fit.
Once the five parties were settled, I had them appoint representatives. I handed out sixty-six Goblin Magic Stones ¹-two for each person.
”Use these to eat breakfast, buy a lunch box, and get a cheap rucksack,” I said. “Then get back here in twenty minutes. Oh, and if you suddenly piss your pants and decide not to show up, that’s fine too. Just know that the meal you buy with those stones will be your last supper.”
I let a dark smirk crawl across my face. Everyone turned pale, their heads whipping side to side in frantic denial.
It was a harsh way to talk to people who had finally found the resolve to fight, but right now, these guys were just riding a wave of desperate bravado. Some were clearly just being swept up in the mood of the crowd. To save myself the trouble of dragging them out and discarding them in the deep levels later, I had to make it clear that I was dead serious.
”If you understand, then get going. Dismissed for now,” I said.
Perhaps motivated by the prospect of a meal, I watched as the shut-ins ran off toward their respective My Rooms ². As they left, Sayaka grabbed my arm.
”Master… you even went so far as to prepare Magic Stones for them,” Sayaka said, looking up at me with misty eyes.
”Well, yeah. You can’t fight a war on an empty stomach, can you?” I replied.
Normally, if I were going to assist them, I would have set a deadline. Then, on the final day, I would have handed over the stones that Oida and his cronies had been pooling so the kids could buy weapons and food. Instead, those bastards embezzled the lot and abandoned these people penniless. Thanks to them, I was the one paying for everything out of pocket.
”Heh, I suppose that’s true. But looking after five parties seems like a nightmare. Are we taking them out in shifts?” Sayaka asked.
”Yeah. Watching thirty newbies at once is a suicide mission. We’ll rotate them every two hours and drill the basics into them,” I said.
Fortunately, no other testers were currently exploring the first floor except for the parties grinding the Guardian Room. Since I had enough shields to go around, they should be able to handle something like a Horn Rabbit ³ easily, provided they didn’t get sloppy. I wanted to let them grind for experience, but we simply didn’t have the luxury. For now, killing their fear and teaching them how to stay alive was the best I could do.
While Sayaka and I were planning the training, Yuki and the baseball club party approached from the NTR Board ⁴.
”Good morning, Sanada-san. I was watching. I figured you were planning to help them after all,” Yuki said.
”Well, I was a guard. It’s an adult’s responsibility,” I said.
”Heh. If you say so,” Yuki replied.
I didn’t know what he was smiling about, but it was irritating. Still, I had intended to step in eventually, so I kept my mouth shut. I was mostly doing this to ensure that if we ever made it back to civilization, the media wouldn’t crucify me for ‘abandoning the youth.’
”What do you want, Yuki?” I asked.
”Some of them are our classmates. If they’re finally motivated, I thought we’d lend a hand. It’s our duty as fellow students,” Yuki said.
”Heh. Is that so?” I chuckled. He was an interesting kid.
”Besides, I’ve racked up quite a debt to you, Sanada-san. I figured I’d pay back at least a little bit here,” Yuki added.
”Us too,” Matsuki said, rubbing his nose and looking away. “We owe the guard for the situation with the vice-captain. We’ll help out for a day.”
What was with him? Was he blushing? Ah, he was looking at Sheena. With her rabbit ears and that outfit that left nothing to the imagination-especially since she didn’t wear a cloak like Sayaka-the kid was struggling to find a place to look. Hilarious, considering he spent every night at the Wall-Butt ⁵.
”Fine. It’ll help, that’s for sure. You guys take four of the parties. Don’t coddle them. I don’t care if they get hurt-be as strict as possible,” I said.
I pulled twenty Grade-5 Potions ⁶ out of my Magic Pouch and handed them over.
”Are you sure?” Wakamiya, the baseball captain, asked.
”Just take them. I have plenty to spare,” I said.
I still had forty left. I really needed to stop hoarding and empty those wooden chests.
Yuki and Wakamiya discussed the split. Since the baseball club had more people, only ten of them stayed-including Wakamiya and Matsuki-while the rest headed out for a normal hunt. We spread out the maps and coordinated our zones so we wouldn’t overlap.
By then, the shut-ins were trickling back out. The food had worked wonders; they looked much more alive. Surprisingly, not a single person had stayed in their room. Then again, they had no place left to run. If they wimped out now, they’d just die.
I decided to take charge of the first group to step up-the ‘Samurai-Otaku’ and his six-man party. He seemed to be the leader. He was about 170 centimeters tall with a medium build, though he looked like he used to be chubbier before the dungeon diet. He wore a leather jacket over his baggy school uniform, along with gauntlets and knee pads. He held a round shield and a club. He was clearly trying to be the main tank.
”Listen up. We’re hunting Horn Rabbits. With a shield, they’re nothing. Their only move is a straight charge. They’re too short to hit your throat, and that uniform will stop a graze. If someone screws up, I’ve got enough Potions to stitch you back together. Now get in there,” I barked.
”Your words bring much reassurance to this one, I do declare-gozaru! However…” the leader stammered.
”What? You’ve fought them before?” I asked.
”Indeed we have-gozaru! In truth, we were the very first of the students to set foot in this dungeon-gozaru!” he replied.
”Oh… so you’re the ones Yuki mentioned,” I said.
Yuki had told me about a group that dived in early, got mauled, and came crawling back. Thanks to their failure, everyone else had learned what to expect. So it was these guys-a bunch of geeks who looked like they’d never touched a treadmill in their lives.
”We truly believed the first floor would be teeming with slimes-gozaru! Every holy text of anime and gaming decreed it so! But alas, the Horn Rabbit appeared! We could not fathom its speed from the shadows, and we were most grievously thrashed-gozaru!” the leader lamented.
”Are you actually stupid?” I asked.
I stared at him, genuinely impressed by the level of delusion. He looked like he was recounting a war tragedy, while Sheena and I just gave him the coldest stares we could muster. He started stammering out excuses, but the truth was simple: these idiots had confused reality with some light novel.
They’d convinced themselves the first floor would be a playground for ‘weak’ slimes. So, the moment the Queen finished her speech, the Animation Department students-led by this guy-had rushed to their rooms and dived headfirst into the dungeon, convinced they were going to be the heroes who saved all their ‘little sister’ classmates.
They had rushed to buy their gear and dove headfirst into the dungeon, blinded by the naive belief that being the first to level up meant being the strongest. But they didn’t find Slimes. They found Horn Rabbits⁷. Terrorized by those ivory spikes lunging from their blind spots at terminal velocity, they tried to bolt, only to be surrounded and systematically thrashed by a fresh pack of the beasts.
Convinced their lives were in jeopardy, these idiots threw down the weapons they’d just bought and scrambled back to safety in a blind, pathetic panic. Total loss of composure. If they’d had a single ounce of cool-headedness between them, they would have realized that once a Horn Rabbit hits a target, its momentum stops—leaving it wide open to be finished off with a sword thrust or a spear poke.
They treated the dungeon like a video game. That baseless confidence lasted exactly until they felt the cold, sharp breath of the Reaper on their necks for the first time in their lives. Now, the mere sight of a rabbit was enough to trigger a trauma response. They’d spent their time shut away like recluses, having finally learned the hard way that this world isn’t a manga or a game. It hurts. Are they morons? Even Sayaka looked at them with pure second-hand embarrassment.
As for Gozaru-Megane and his pathetic lackeys, they could only shrivel up and whimper, “It wasn’t supposed to be like this-degozaru…” Knowing this was going to be an absolute nightmare, we dragged them back toward the dungeon entrance anyway.
* * *
”Don’t flinch, Gozaru-Megane! And I told you—stop closing your eyes! Meet the charge like you’re trying to smash its brains in with that shield!” I shouted.
”Hieeee! Impossible-degozaru! No can do-degozaru! Gah-fack!” Gozaru-Megane cried out as he was hit.
”Tsk. Now! The rabbit stopped because Gozaru took the hit! Everyone, jump it! Beat it to a pulp!” I ordered.
”””Y-Yes, sir!””” the students shouted in unison.
The Horn Rabbit sent Gozaru-Megane flying, then began reorienting its body for the next lunge. I pointed it out, barking orders at the other students. Six of them, faces twisted in desperation, swarmed the creature with a flurry of clubs and knives, stabbing and bludgeoning it into the dirt.
”You’re getting blown away because your stance is weak. How many times do I have to tell you, you coward?” I said, looking down at Gozaru-Megane. He was sprawled in the dust after failing to brace against the impact.
”M-my deepest apologies-degozaru,” Gozaru-Megane whimpered.
”If there’s more than one rabbit, they’ll aim for your throat while you’re down. You want to stay alive? Stay on your feet,” I told him.
”Hie! B-but… it’s still terrifying-degozaru!” Gozaru-Megane replied.
”Fine. You want to be a permanent meat-shield so your friends can soak up the XP? If you don’t learn to parry or dodge, that wooden plank you call a shield isn’t going to last the hour,” I said.
”Ugh…” Gozaru-Megane groaned.
We’d been at it for an hour. We were sticking to the shallow zones where only single rabbits spawned, but the shield-bearers—led by the pathetic Gozaru-Megane—were making this painful. I’d expected some resistance, but it turns out deep-seated trauma isn’t cured by a pep talk. Time for Plan B.
”Listen up! From here on, you’re forming a defensive perimeter around Sheena. Got it? If you get blown back, you’re taking Sheena down with you. Grow some balls and protect the girl!” I barked.
”N-no way!” one student cried.
”Using a girl as a human sacrifice?! You’re a monster!” another shouted.
”W-we can’t do that!” a third added.
”Shut up! All you have to do is hold your ground! Move!” I snapped.
I kicked the backsides of the whining cowards, shoving two shield-men to the front and flanking Sheena with the others.
”Sheena, sorry about this. If it looks bad, just bail,” I whispered.
She gave me a curt, sharp nod. I knew she could dodge anything they threw at her, but I still hated having to resort to this.
With a newfound, suffocating tension, the Gozaru-gang crept deeper into the cave. Sayaka and I followed from a safe distance, watching the train wreck unfold.
Two hours later, Plan B was an undeniable success. Technically.
”Hieeee! Sheena-dono! P-please move your foot!” Gozaru-Megane pleaded.
Whenever he tried to recoil from a charging rabbit, Sheena’s boot was already planted firmly against his spine, anchoring him in the path of destruction.
”Wait, Sheena-san! Don’t put that rapier there! Not the butt! I’ll die! I’m gonna die!” one of the lackeys screamed.
When someone else tried to shrink away, the needle-sharp tip of Sheena’s rapier was there to greet their backside, offering a very different kind of motivation.
”H-here it comes! Oof-glugh!” a student grunted.
And when someone actually failed to hold the line and started to buckle, Sheena didn’t catch them—she kicked them from behind, launching the student into the rabbit like a living projectile. She wasn’t some damsel being protected by men. She was a demon instructor in a schoolgirl uniform.
There was a method to her madness. Initially, they’d tried to hold the line, but they’d fail every other charge, tumbling back and trying to take Sheena with them. She dodged, of course, but she clearly realized we were getting nowhere. She stopped being the “objective to protect” and became the “threat from behind.” The Gozaru-gang was now trapped between a wolf at the gate and a tiger at their backs.
”Umm… are they going to be okay?” Sayaka asked.
”They’ll live. Their uniforms are shredded and dusty, but nobody’s bleeding enough to need a Potion⁸. Sheena knows exactly how much pain to dish out,” I replied.
The reinforced fabric of the school uniforms could handle a rapier prick unless she really leaned into it. And her kicks were just enough to send them flying, resulting in nothing worse than some nasty bruising. But thanks to her, they stopped backing up. Sheena must have been a knight or a drill sergeant in a past life. She knew exactly how to break a shivering soldier.
”Ow! It poked me! It actually poked me in the ass!” a student yelled.
”D-don’t step on my foot! I’m staying! I’m staying! I can’t mov-uugh!” another cried.
”T-the rear is a death zone-degozaru! Forward! It’s safer in the front-degozaru!” Gozaru-Megane shouted.
They had finally realized the rabbit was the lesser of two evils. When the Horn Rabbits charged, the Gozaru-gang actually lunged forward to meet them. They were even starting to catch the timing for parries. It wasn’t the Plan B I had envisioned, but the results spoke for themselves.
”Aaaaaah! Bring ’em on! I’ll take them all-degozaru!” Gozaru-Megane screamed.
”Anything but the butt! Please, no more stabs!” the others wailed.
With blood seeping through the seats of their pants and faces covered in scrapes, they charged the rabbits with the fury of the damned. Sheena looked like she was actually enjoying herself as she prodded and kicked them, while Sayaka hovered nearby, clutching a Potion and looking like she was on the verge of a heart attack.
I just stood in the back, arms crossed, and nodded.
Progress.
—
Summary:
Sanada begins training the thirty-three shut-ins to survive the dungeon’s first floor. He provides them with Magic Stones for food and equipment, then coordinates with Yuki and the baseball club to split the instruction duties. The chapter reveals the ‘Samurai-Otaku’ group’s prior disastrous attempt to find slimes based on anime logic.
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Trivia:
- Sanada is paying for the students’ equipment out of his own pocket because the previous leaders embezzled the funds.
- The ‘Wall-Butt’ is a recurring adult-themed element the students are using nightly.
- The animation department students were the very first to enter the dungeon, even before Yuki’s group.
- Horn Rabbits are dangerous specifically because of their straight-line speed/charge attack
- The students originally retreated because they treated the dungeon like a game.
- Sheena is using a rapier and her boots to prevent the shield-bearers from retreating.
- The students are wearing reinforced school uniforms that protect against serious injury.
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Character Insight:
Sanada’s ‘Demon Instructor’ persona hides a sense of responsibility he attributes to ‘adult duty.’ Yuki shows growth by offering help to pay back his debt. The Otaku leader shows the danger of genre-blindness in a lethal reality.
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Behind the Scenes:
The ‘gozaru’ speech tic is a classic Japanese trope for characters obsessed with samurai culture or period dramas (Jidaigeki).
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TL Notes:
Notes:
• Yakumo – A 25-year-old human male. He has facial scars, stab wounds, and gunshot scars from his time in a war zone. He works as a school guard.
• Sana – Black ponytail, hooded/sharp eyes, kyudo practitioner, average height.
• Sayaka – The academy’s premier beauty and a member of the swimming club. Currently classified as a Rank 1 Slave. She is seventeen years old and a virgin. E-cup. She has blue, short, boyish hair. Her best friend is Sanae.
• Oida – A PE teacher with a large build and a plain, non-intimidating face. He was formerly an Olympic developmental athlete for Judo. He uses a greatsword in the dungeon and wears tattered jerseys.
• Yuki – A third-year high school student and leader of the Battle Sports Club. He is a national champion in medieval-style combat using swords and spears. He has a severe sister complex. He has hawk-like eyes and a polite but determined demeanor.
• Matsuki – Second-year baseball club member. Known for having no filter and a lack of situational awareness.
• Sheena – Beastman Soul-less Doll with rabbit ears and a large chest. Flawless face, approx 165cm height, F or G cup, narrow waist, large hips, and a fluffy tail longer than a rabbit’s.
• Wakamiya – Captain of the baseball club.
• Gozaru-Megane – Leader of the animation department students; 170cm tall, formerly chubby, now medium build due to dungeon diet. Wear glasses.
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Edited by Kanaa-senpai.
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