Chapter 345 For Better or Worse, Childhood Friends
Edited by: Kanaa-senpai
The negotiations for the “Great Phallic Economic Zone”¹ had finally been hammered out. The summit between our Canaria Kingdom and the Kingdom of Ferguson was drawing to a close.
We had covered other ground as well-the relief efforts for Count Kudoah’s lands following the “Stampede” but that was mostly for the bureaucrats to handle. As far as the sovereigns were concerned, every issue requiring a face-to-face confrontation had been resolved.
”Then it is settled,” King William said. “Our nation looks forward to a long and prosperous friendship with yours. I am counting on you, Cecile.”
”Indeed,” the Queen replied. “Today marks the day Ferguson and Canaria reaffirmed their bond. Let us look toward the future together.”
The two monarchs shared a firm handshake, and their subordinates erupted into applause to celebrate the success of the meeting. It was a dignified, moving sight. Or it would have been, if a certain “Ddo-Buddy”² adult toy hadn’t been left towering in the middle of the conference table like a silent, silicone monument to our trade agreement.
”Ahem. By the way… Cecile…” William muttered after a pause.
”…What is it, William?” she asked.
Once the handshakes were over and several civil officials had filtered out, King William addressed her directly. The scribes were already packing up their pens; the official record was closed. This was now a private conversation.
He called her name just as he must have done a decade ago. She answered in kind, setting aside her royal distance. William let out a relieved breath, looking genuinely happy, though his eyes twitched slightly-likely because the Queen hadn’t bothered to use his title in return.
”I wanted to apologize again… for staying away so long,” William said, his voice dropping an octave. “When I think of the path you’ve had to walk, the hardships you’ve endured… it’s more than I can imagine. I can’t help but think I should have done more to help.”
He spoke with a voice heavy with regret. I felt like a total creep for eavesdropping, but since the “Great Ddo-Buddy Economic Zone” was my brainchild, I couldn’t exactly leave until the Queen dismissed me.
Chancellor Dan Samoro and Marquis Sachet had already ducked out to discuss damage reports with General Sachet, and the rest of the bureaucrats were vanishing into the halls. A few guards remained for security, but the vibe was getting incredibly awkward. Guys, save the ‘remember when’ talk for the banquet, I thought.
”…It is enough,” she said. “I know that after my parents passed, Ferguson had its share of hardliners who wanted to prey on our weakened state. I also know that you, while still only the Crown Prince, were the one who suppressed them.”
”I have no idea what you’re talking about,” William said, offering a weak, self-deprecating smile. “Well, I suppose playing dumb won’t work with you. It wasn’t just my doing, anyway. Ferguson and Canaria have always been the closest of allies.”
”Agreed,” she said. “I hope this deal goes some way toward repaying that old debt.”
It felt like I was listening to something I shouldn’t, but I realized the Queen was intentionally letting the remaining guards overhear this. Projecting a united front between monarchs was vital for the morale of the rank-and-file. The soldiers’ postures noticeably straightened.
”Prince Roland… I mean, your younger brother… he’s grown up so much,” William remarked. “I remember when he used to cling to your skirt and never let go.”
”Hmph. Didn’t you once tell me that letting that boy inherit the throne was a recipe for disaster?” she asked.
”That was…! That was only because you were planning to sacrifice your own life to make it happen!” William exclaimed.
”I do not view it as a sacrifice,” the Queen replied firmly. “It was my duty as royalty, and more importantly, it was what I wanted. I wasn’t about to let my parents’ legacy crumble… but enough of that. It’s all in the past now.”
Yes, I seriously need to leave. The exit flow had stopped, and standing up now would just draw attention to the guy eavesdropping on the Queen’s old trauma. I decided to play the “I’m a statue” game and sat perfectly still.
”Right. Another two or three years, then?” William asked. “Once he takes the throne, your work will be done.”
”In theory,” she said. “I’ll probably be breathing down his neck for another decade, but yes, the weight on my shoulders will lighten.”
”I’m rooting for you. Make sure I’m invited to King Roland’s coronation. I, William of Ferguson, want to be the first to hail the new King.”
”Heh. You’re getting ahead of yourself… but I suppose it’s not that far off,” she said. “I’ll hold you to that.”
I saw what was happening. It couldn’t be put in a formal treaty yet, but William was signaling to the entire court that Ferguson recognized Roland as the rightful heir. That word would spread through the palace like wildfire. Royal politics is a hell of a drug.
”Yeah. But… Cecile… are you really okay?” William asked, his voice softening.
”You’re being persistent, William,” she said. “Do I look that fragile to you?”
”No, it’s not that, it’s just…”
The mask of the King slipped. Then the mask of the ‘Adult’ followed. William’s gaze drifted toward the “Ddo-Buddy” still standing proudly on the table. Oh boy. Here we go. He had that look on his face-the “I’m genuinely worried about you as a childhood friend” look.
”…Whatever you’re thinking, keep it to yourself,” she snapped.
”I mean, shouldn’t I be worried?” William asked. “We were engaged, once…”
”It was a political arrangement that went nowhere,” she said. “Nothing more.”
”Well, maybe, but still…”
Stop. Stop right there, King William. This is the exact moment a guy gets screenshotted and posted on social media for being a delusional ex. He was actually doing the “My ex-fiancée is only into weird toys because she’s not over me” routine. It was so cringe it was physically painful. I braced myself, preparing for the secondhand embarrassment to hit like a freight train.
”Let me be perfectly clear,” the Queen said, her voice like ice. “I don’t have a single shred of lingering affection for you. Honestly, I didn’t even like you back then.”
”What!?” William gasped.
”If anything, you were the one who destroyed my illusions about men,” she continued. “As I said before, how was I supposed to fall for a brat who ran around with a snotty nose, swinging sticks at everything? A boy who would crush caterpillars in his bare hands just to show me the guts? A delinquent who spent his time chasing maids to try and flip their skirts?”
”…I did that?” William stammered.
”You did. I’ll never forget it. The day our engagement was announced, I cried myself to sleep on my mother’s lap, sobbing that I didn’t want to marry a ‘shitty little brat’ like you.”
William went silent, his face pale.
”I’ll admit, by the time we last saw each other, you’d grown up enough that we might have made it work… maybe,” she said.
”Is… is that so?” he asked, a spark of hope in his eyes.
”But my current assessment of you? You’re a meddlesome, tiresome man who grumbles about decade-old history and offers unsolicited, vulgar advice. As a King, you’re fine. As a man? Your stock isn’t just bottoming out-it’s subterranean.”
William let out a choked sound and collapsed to his knees.
To the Queen, who stated it all with terrifying calm, the King was now a defeated man. My condolences. I made a silent vow to never, ever end up like him. Rest in peace, Your Majesty.
”Let’s go, Lord Harvest,” the Queen said, standing up. “You were waiting to speak with me, weren’t you?”
”Ah, yes. But… is he going to be okay?” I asked, glancing at the broken King.
”He’ll live. A King should have the stomach to handle a few home truths.”
The Queen looked incredibly refreshed. She made sure that last part was loud enough for William to hear as he let out a pathetic groan. I hurriedly followed her out of the room.
”I’ll have to have a word with Roland later,” she mused as we walked toward her office. “I need to make sure he knows that crushed insects are not an appropriate gift for a lady.”
”With all due respect to His Highness, I don’t think you have to worry about that,” I replied.
”Hmph. I suppose you’re right.”
She was probably just venting, but I could tell she was already in protective sister mode. I wondered how Unia was doing.
”…Well?” she asked, stopping in the hall.
”Huh?”
”Do you have something to say to me?”
”Uh…”
She pinned me with a look. She’d been waiting for the right moment. Her tone was unmistakable: Your woman was just being hit on by her ex. Where’s the jealousy? Where’s the spine?
I am not King William. I value my life. I searched for the right words-something that wouldn’t sound cheesy but would satisfy a Queen who just finished incinerating a man’s ego.
”I always assumed that with someone like you, Your Majesty, I’d never have anything to worry about… was I wrong?”
She went silent.
The Queen stopped. She turned around and looked me dead in the eye, searching my face. Whatever she read there must have been the right answer, because a satisfied, almost predatory smile spread across her lips.
”…No,” she said softly. “You weren’t.”
She turned back and continued down the hall, her step noticeably bouncier. We reached her office, and I was promptly escorted into the hidden passage… but that’s a story for another time.
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Summary:
Following the formalization of a bizarre trade agreement involving adult goods, King William of Ferguson attempts to reconnect emotionally with Queen Cecile. He expresses regret over their past engagement and her hardships, but Cecile responds by brutally dismantling his ego with childhood memories of his repulsive behavior. The chapter ends with Cecile flirty-testing the protagonist’s jealousy before leading him to a private encounter.
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Trivia:
- The ‘Ddo-Buddy’ adult toy was left on the table during the entire emotional confrontation.
- William’s apology was actually a calculated political move to legitimize Roland’s future reign.
- Cecile actually cried as a child because she didn’t want to marry William.
- The protagonist is technically eavesdropping while waiting for a business debrief.
- The ‘Stampede’ mentioned refers to a recurring monster disaster in this world
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Character Insight:
Cecile shows a masterful blend of cold political calculation and raw personal honesty; she uses the guards to spread rumors of support for Roland while using her personal history to kill any romantic delusions William held. William is revealed to be a classic ‘childhood friend’ loser who mistook Cecile’s growth as a Queen for a lingering love for him.
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Behind the Scenes:
The author uses the juxtaposition of high-fantasy peace treaties with the presence of s*x toys to highlight the absurdity of the protagonist’s influence on this world’s economy.
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TL Notes:
Notes:
• Cecile – A queen in the capital who possesses the authority to regulate business and commerce, particularly concerning moral or public order issues. She is currently investigating Kento’s shop, ‘Harvest.’ Have long golden hair, elegant, and wearing expensive white dress with gold accesories.
• Sachet – A General of the Ferguson Kingdom. An old soldier who is deppuri (corpulent/fat) but possesses thick muscle beneath the fat.
• Samoro – A middle-aged Marquis and Prime Minister with a lot of white hair, a magnificent mustache, and luxurious attire. He is a key figure in the court who has supported the Queen since her enthronement.
• Roland – he younger brother of Queen Cecile and the heir apparent to the Canaria throne. Clean, golden-blonde hair, same color as the Queen, innocent, beautiful face that could be mistaken for a girl but dressed in a boy’s formal wear.
• Unia – The third daughter of the house of Duke Greiter. Has blonde hair tied in an intricate style, dol-like beauty, and expressionless face.
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Edited by Kanaa-senpai.
Thanks for reading.
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