Volume 13 Chapter 381 Bulletin Board, Morikawa Kaede’s Absolute Unit Delivery
Edited by: Kanaa-senpai
[CONGRATS! IT’S A GIRL] Morikawa Kaede’s Power Birth! [Not a Log, Guys]
1 Verification Team*07218KADO6
Born Jan 1st, 0:04. Weight: 4514g.
Think of it as 4-5-1-4: “For-Fine-One-For”!!
2 Anonymous
>>1
Shitpost (Celebratory) Thread, thanks OP!
3 Anonymous
>>1
Yo, there are like 100 threads for Morikawa up right now!!
4 Anonymous
>>1
Gj lol
>>2
Who told you to be that smooth?
5 Anonymous
New Year’s and we’re already talking about logs and crap… this place is a dump as usual.
>>1
Thanks for the shit-thread, OP!
6 Anonymous
>>1
Wait, hold up.
4514g? That’s not just big, that’s a literal mountain!!
7 Anonymous
>>6
Seriously huge…
8 Anonymous
That’s Morikawa for you.
She just popped out a super-soldier.
9 Anonymous
Born with maxed-out physicals, no cap nano LMAO.
10 Anonymous
The future of the Church of Power is secure!!
11 Anonymous
Daily Baseball News
The Kansai Tigers ¹ are already eyeing Shirogane Aqua and Morikawa Kaede’s eldest daughter as their #1 Draft Pick for 2041?
A reporter caught a team official late last night: “Well, obviously. You look at those genes and it’s ‘The Thing,’ ain’t it? ‘The Thing.’ That’s just how it’s gonna be.”
12 Anonymous
>>11
Too early, way too early!!
13 Anonymous
>>11
Thought this was a meme, but they’re actually serious!!
14 Anonymous
>>11
Wait, what? Shirogane and Morikawa’s kid belongs to the Tokyo Rabbits!!
15 Anonymous
Yo, knock it off!
Don’t start a draft war on a holiday!!
16 Anonymous
>>11
Baseball’s impossible; she’s gotta hit the draft age first.
Some soccer club will probably sign her to a pro contract with a record-breaking bonus way before then.
17 Anonymous
>>16
Pretty sure soccer kids sign at like four years old now, right…?
18 Anonymous
The “Oman-Bomb” ² is already here, kek.
Chablizzo Oman: BREAKING! Shirogane Aqua and Morikawa Kaede’s kid signs for a world-record fee! HERE WE GO!
19 Anonymous
>>18
Thought it was a fake account, but that’s actually legit!!
20 Anonymous
If this were a joke it’d be fine, but since it’s Aqua-sama and Morikawa’s kid, the scouts are actually making moves LMAO.
21 Anonymous
>>20
The hype is through the roof!!
22 Anonymous
Is this the Hakuryuu-sensei memorial thread!?
23 Anonymous
>>22
That’s the other one.
[GUAHHH, BERYL DIED] Hakuryuu Aiko Great-sensei Memorial Thread [RIP, Aqua]
24 Anonymous
>>23
THX!
25 Anonymous
>>23
Wait, Hagetoru started both of these threads!!
26 Verification Team*9n2SARETAi
Server’s getting slammed because of the holiday.
Please “bury” your threads when you’re done playing, guys.
Also, Hagetoru-san, stop spamming idiotic threads!
27 Anonymous
>>26
Yes, ma’am!
28 Anonymous
>>26
Roger!!
29 Anonymous
Hold up, 4500g+ is usually an automatic C-section!
How the hell did she do a natural birth!!?
30 Anonymous
>>29
Because it’s Morikawa.
31 Anonymous
>>29
Stop trying to apply logic to Morikawa.
Just ride the vibe!!
32 Verification Team*07218KADO6
>>26
Yeah, yeah.
>>29
Hehe, it’s because she’s been getting worked by Aqua-sama’s massive hardware and training her core daily!!
33 Anonymous
>>32
You’re a genius!
34 Anonymous
>>32
I’m convinced!!
35 Verification Team*CHiMPOsuki
Oh, a celebration thread! Nice.
36 Anonymous
>>35
No way, you’re awake…?
37 Anonymous
>>35
Why the hell are you up!!?
You should be passed out by now!!
38 Verification Team*CHiMPOsuki
>>37
Woke up hungry. Eating a banana now.
For some reason, I’m feeling super wired right now.
39 Anonymous
>>38
Didn’t you just finish an extra-large Pork Bowl…?
40 Anonymous
Look, guys.
Don’t think about it.
If you think, you lose!!
41 Anonymous
>>40
Understood!!
42 Anonymous
Regardless, I’m just glad both mom and baby are healthy.
43 Anonymous
Even Aqua-boy looked terrified by how huge the kid was lol.
44 Anonymous
>>43
I mean, can you blame him…?
45 Anonymous
New Year’s is never boring when Aqua-sama is in the picture lol.
46 Anonymous
>>45
For real. I laughed so hard I can’t sleep, so I’m just rewatching the “Don’t Laugh” specials lol.
47 Anonymous
>>46
I get that lol.
Honestly, this should’ve been in the late-night slot, not the family-friendly block lol.
48 Anonymous
Yo, skip that, check the “Late Night Sports Day”!!
They’re doing some way more “hardcore” nano!!
49 Anonymous
>>48
No way lol.
50 Anonymous
>>49
It’s for real…
51 Anonymous
It’s so moving to think Aqua’s kids will see this footage of their papa one day!!
52 Anonymous
>>51
Yo, stop it!
53 Anonymous
>>51
Shouldn’t this be a secret we keep buried for the sake of his dignity?
54 Anonymous
>>53
True.
Let’s keep the image of Aqua-kun getting smothered in cleavage a secret between you and me!!
55 Anonymous
>>54
It was an accident!!
56 Anonymous
He totally “dived” into Kohina Yukari’s chest in the chaos LMAO.
57 Anonymous
>>56
Then he gets the “What do you think you’re doing, you idiot!” scolding. It’s a classic set.
58 Anonymous
>>57
But she didn’t look like she hated it!!
59 Anonymous
>>58
Her “mommy” instincts for Aqua-sama are finally kicking in too.
60 Anonymous
Speaking of instincts, what happened to Tashinami?
61 Verification Team*07218KADO6
>>60
Her? She crashed 5 minutes after saying “I’m staying up all night!”
Hehe!! Maybe I should give her a “massage” while she’s out to help her milk come in easier later!?
64 Anonymous
>>62
Uh, hello, police?
This person right here.
65 Anonymous
Let Suyanami-san sleep.
They say “The well-rested child grows best”!!
66 Anonymous
>>65
Tashinami-san is gonna be treated like a kid by this board forever.
67 Anonymous
>>66
Hard to believe she’s actually a mama now…
68 Anonymous
Tashinami is perfect just the way she is!!
69 Anonymous
>>68
Facts!
70 Verification Team*07218KADO6
Yo, Chinsuki!
Don’t sleep right after eating!!
You’ll turn into a gorilla!!
71 Anonymous
>>70
It’s fine, she’s already a gorilla.
72 Anonymous
>>71
That’s not what he meant!!
73 Anonymous
Morikawa was definitely wiped out.
But she’s still going hard on the recovery meal lol.
74 3510*ULTi-Hi-P3
Mikoto is officially flatlined from multitasking today (dead).
75 Anonymous
>>74
Gj Saba-chan.
76 Anonymous
”The Server is tired”? What is that even supposed to mean?
77 Anonymous
>>76
Don’t think. If you think, you lose!!
78 Anonymous
>>77
There are way too many things in this world we aren’t allowed to think about!!
79 Anonymous
Wait, while everyone is celebrating, there’s one person still stuck in last year!
Inko’s Otome Game stream… is this ever going to end?
80 Anonymous
>>79
She’s still live!?
Wasn’t she at the final boss hours ago?
81 Anonymous
>>80
She hit a dead end on every route, so she restarted from scratch this afternoon. She’s speedrunning now.
At this rate, she might actually finish “this year.”
82 Anonymous
>>81
Bro, “this year” ended hours ago!!
83 Anonymous
>>82
Inko: “If I don’t sleep, it’s still today!”
84 Anonymous
>>83
Ah, the classic “Sleep is for the weak” logic.
85 Anonymous
>>83
She’s definitely losing her mind from sleep deprivation.
86 Anonymous
Inko’s goal is to clear the game and watch the first sunrise with everyone.
She’s playing on pure spite and willpower now.
87 Anonymous
>>86
The devs should pay her for playing that garbage fire this much.
88 Anonymous
This thread smells like crap.
89 Anonymous
>>89
Because it’s a shitpost thread by Hagetoru!!
90 Anonymous
[Breaking] Hagetoru smells like a diaper.
91 Verification Team*07218KADO6
>>90
Hehe! Did you catch me changing Rinon-chan’s diaper while KAnonymous was asleep?
92 Anonymous
>>91
Gj!!
93 Anonymous
>>91
You’re literally covered in it!! Respect!!
94 Anonymous
The doctor who handled Morikawa’s delivery apparently froze for ten seconds.
The baby just… popped right out. Even the midwife was stunned.
95 Anonymous
>>94
As someone who suffered through normal labor, I’m so jealous of Morikawa.
But don’t get the wrong idea, guys. This is ONLY Morikawa!!
96 Anonymous
>>95
I feel that…
97 Anonymous
Childbirth is supposed to be a miracle ssu, but Morikawa Kaede just makes everyone confused. What an absolute unit.
98 Anonymous
>>97
Aqua-sama: “I’m never bored when I’m with Kaede.”
99 Anonymous
>>98
We know, Aqua-kun lol.
100 Anonymous
Don’t stay up too late, guys.
We still have the New Year’s Special with Aqua-kun and the crew!!
101 Anonymous
>>100
So hyped for the “Historical Drama” with Aqua-sama and Kukuri-chan-sama.
It airs on the 1st, right!?
102 Anonymous
>>101
Yep. Can’t wait.
Director Hongou + Aqua-sama is a god-tier combo.
103 Anonymous
Wait, the drama starts Jan 1st!!?
I’m hyped, but what time!?
104 Anonymous
>>103
9:00 AM…
105 Anonymous
>>104
They’re really broadcasting something that intense during family breakfast…?
106 Anonymous
The drama is on twice, morning and night.
Okay! I’m going dark to avoid spoilers and watching the night broadcast!!
107 Anonymous
>>106
Smart move!!
108 Anonymous
Ugh! I can’t resist a live broadcast. I know I’ll get nothing done, but I’m watching the morning slot!!
109 Anonymous
>>108
Same here!
110 Anonymous
Alright! I’m hitting the sack to prep for the drama tomorrow!
Hagetoru, make sure you let this shit-thread sink properly!!
111 Anonymous
I was watching Inko, but I’m gonna power nap for 4 hours.
She’ll probably be done by then.
112 Anonymous
Later, Hagetoru! Take a dump and go to bed!
113 Anonymous
Filling the thread before I sleep.
Hagetoru, let’s have a good one this year too!!
114 Verification Team*07218KADO6
Hehe, hehehe! Is everyone asleep!?
Time for the NSFW stuff!!
HYAHHOOO!!
115 Verification Team*9n2SARETAi
>>114
Stop being an idiot and go to bed, Hagetoru-san!
I’m putting in the deletion request for this thread.
116 Verification Team*07218KADO6
>>115
Yes’m…
117 Hakuryuu*XQshotacon
W-wait?
When did I get home…?
I lost consciousness right around the part where Aqua-kun showed up…
118 Verification Team*CHiMPOsuki
Huh? Everyone’s asleep?
I finally got up, but I guess I’ll take one more dump and head back to bed!
Later, guys. Happy New Year!!
119 3510*ULTi-Hi-P3
Ah, I forgot Big Sis sent the deletion request!
Okay, this thread is locked!
Mikoto is going into sleep mode for server maintenance.
I’m excited for the first dream of the year. Hope you all have good ones too!
—
Summary:
The chapter focuses on a board reaction to Morikawa Kaede giving birth to a massive baby girl on New Year’s Day. Users speculate on the child’s future in professional sports and joke about the parents’ physical attributes. The thread ends as a moderator shuts it down while server maintenance begins.
—
Trivia:
- Morikawa’s baby is 4.5kg, which is statistically massive for a natural birth.
- Professional sports teams are ‘already’ scouting a newborn.
- Hagetoru, the pervert, is actually helping take care of a baby (Rinon-chan).
- Inko is suffering through a speedrun restart after hitting game-breaking dead ends.
- The board terminology parodies 2chan/5chan culture and manager Okada’s ‘Are’ speech
—
Character Insight:
Hagetoru shows a strange duality; despite being the board’s resident degenerate, he is actively performing domestic childcare duties. Morikawa continues to be treated as a superhuman ‘Power’ figure whose feats defy medical logic.
—
TL Notes:
Please bookmark this series and rate ☆☆☆☆☆ on here!
Edited by Kanaa-senpai.
Thanks for reading.
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