Chapter 415 The Saint and the Tea Party
Edited by: Kanaa-senpai
Word on the street was that the “Saint,” Loire-Rose, had finally rolled into the Royal Capital. The moment I got the news, I made a beeline for the palace. If she was here, it meant Sister Amelia and the rest of the crew weren’t far behind.
I was still a little on edge about the Wielope Empire¹ situation, but I couldn’t help feeling a buzz of excitement as I reached Queen Cecile’s office. …Except, neither the Queen nor the Saint were anywhere to be found. Instead, the maid, Muse, was waiting for me. She led me through a secret passage and straight to the Queen’s private bedchamber. Looks like they were in full lockdown mode.
”Ah, you’ve arrived, Lord Harvest.”
Queen Cecile was right in the middle of tea time. Sitting across from her was her guest-undoubtedly the rumored Saint. Technically, we’d met and even spoken before, but she’d been incognito back then. Seeing her face-to-face was a first.
She had snowy hair, porcelain skin, and piercing blue eyes. Even her dress was a blinding white; if I squinted, she looked almost like a silhouette with the color drained out, save for the faint, dusty rose of her lips. In the middle of the Queen’s bedroom, it looked like someone had taken an eraser to the world wherever she sat.
”…Am I interrupting?” I asked, testing the waters.
”Hardly,” Cecile replied. “This one simply insisted on tea before she’d utter a word. Pay her no mind.”
”Hey, wait a sec! You’re making me sound like some tactless brat!” the girl shot back. “Does Cici seriously have zero chill for a friend who literally risked her life to visit!?”
I’d been a bit intimidated by the serene, holy aura in the room, but that response was… surprisingly casual. I stood there, stunned by how the Queen treated a literal Saint like a nuisance, and even more by the Saint’s total lack of decorum. Before I could wrap my head around her “valley girl” vibe, she turned her gaze on me.
”Anyway, it’s been a minute, right? Kento-cchi!”
”Oh, uh, yeah. It’s been a while, Lady Saint… or should I say, Lady Loire-Rose?”
”I told you, anything’s fine! Call me Lo-Lo or Rosie!”
Talk about a flippant greeting. Since she’d been masked during our last encounter, this was technically our “first” meeting. That’s why I’d hesitated on the “it’s been a while” bit, but she clearly didn’t give a damn about the formalities. She seemed totally disconnected from the usual political chess matches… though after everything the Queen had told me, I knew that was just a front.
”Well then, Lady Saint. Allow me to offer my congratulations on your safe arrival.”
”Whoa, whoa, whoa! Why is everyone being such a buzzkill!?” she groaned. “The vibes are, like, totally mid right now!”
”Forgive her, Lord Harvest,” Cecile sighed. “She was ambushed during her travels. Now that she’s finally in a safe harbor, her emotions have become… unstable. She was clinging to me and sobbing her eyes out until just a moment ago.”
”Hey! Cici, don’t just spill my guts like that!”
”An ambush?” I asked, my voice dropping. “Was it the Wielope Empire…?”
”Indeed,” Cecile said, her expression hardening. “We shall discuss the details. Take a seat.”
”Seriously? Stop ignoring meee!”
I followed the Queen’s lead and joined their little tea party. Up close, I could see that Loire-Rose’s eyes were bloodshot and her eyelids were a bit puffy. Maybe the bubbly act was just her way of keeping it together. Despite their blunt words, the Queen and Muse were being remarkably gentle with her. This tea party wasn’t just for business; it was a kindness to help her decompress.
As we ate, she told me about her journey. I’m pretty sure I didn’t imagine the way her voice trembled at certain parts. Maybe that’s why Muse took over when it came to the specifics of the attack.
”It was quite the ordeal,” Muse explained. “Lady Loire-Rose pushed forward without stopping at a single town.”
”I didn’t have a choice, okay?” Loire-Rose muttered. “I thought it’d be faster and safer that way…”
”And you were right,” Muse nodded. “On the main roads, you have to travel in a line… and against an attack like that, a local lord’s militia wouldn’t have stood a chance. Still, it was back-breaking work.”
”You were running back and forth on those roads for days, weren’t you?” Loire-Rose said, reaching out to touch Muse’s hand as she poured more tea. “And your people were pulling stakeouts forever. Thanks a million, Mu-mu!”
It seemed Loire-Rose was on casual terms with Muse, too.
”But was the magic² really that much of a headache?” Cecile asked.
”Yes,” Muse replied. “That spell was designed to repel any intrusion from the outside. If not for Lady Loire-Rose’s power, I’m not sure we could’ve reached her at all.”
”Ugh, it was so nasty,” Loire-Rose added. “It felt like Stealth Magic³, but way more advanced and, like, dripping with malice. Since you’re the pro, Mu-mu, what’s the tea on that?”
Muse went silent. She glanced toward the Queen instead of answering. Most likely, she’d never officially confirmed her specialty. I’d seen Stealth Magic in action myself-mostly for “peaceful” things like spying on the Queen’s brother during a date-but in the wrong hands, it’s the ultimate tool for assassination. The room grew tense. Finally, Cecile gave a small nod, prompting Muse to continue.
”To be honest, Stealth Magic isn’t actually omnipotent,” Muse said slowly. “Anyone sensitive to mana will notice it, and if you’re on guard and have a counter-formula ready, you can bounce it back. With Holy Arts⁴, a simple Sacred Barrier⁵ should have been enough.”
”Wait, really? But then why…?”
”Well, you were nearly swallowed by the darkness, and Cardinal Mork took a heavy hit. We have some theories-perhaps they focused everything on a single point to bypass your defenses-but we’re still verifying the methods.”
”Can you… share those findings with me?”
”Eventually. My clan is currently analyzing the data with everything we’ve got.”
”Mm, thanks. Can you tell Testa-san too? I’m having him handle the welcome party for Sister Amelia.”
”Archbishop Trantestar?” Muse hesitated. “If Her Majesty approves…”
”It’s fine,” Cecile said. “The man is shady as hell, but he’s the type who knows how to keep a secret.”
”Ahaha! True! He’s totally sketchy!”
By the time the conversation shifted, Loire-Rose seemed to have regained some of her spark. Sucks for the Archbishop, but… well, she wasn’t wrong. He is shady. We moved on to planning the homecoming event for Amelia and the others. I shared a few of my own ideas, though we’d eventually need to coordinate with the Archbishop and the recuperating Cardinal Mork.
As the tea party started to wind down, I decided to pull out the “big guns.” I’d brought a little gift along, just in case.
”Uh, can I have the floor for a second?” I asked.
”Hmm? What is it, Kento-cchi?”
”I know the timing might be a little weird since you’re wiped out, but… since I crashed your party, I wanted you to have this.”
”Wait, what is this…?”
”It’s the ‘Wriggle-Worm Buddy⁶‘.”
”…Huh?”
”The ‘Wriggle-Worm Buddy’.”
”The… Wriggle-Worm Buddy?”
”Yep. When you flip the switch, it does this—”
Bzzzzzzzt!
”Pffft—! Hahaha! Ah-hahaha! Kento-cchi, are you a literal genius!? Ahahaha! I can’t… I’m gonna die! My lungs!”
The Saint seemed to absolutely love my shop’s newest arrival as it started squirming around in her hands. The dark talk about ambushes and magic seemed to evaporate instantly.
Mission accomplished. Talk about peak communication ssu.
—
Summary:
Kento meets the Saint, Loire-Rose, in the Queen’s bedroom following her dangerous journey. They discuss a mysterious magical ambush involving advanced Stealth Magic that wounded Cardinal Mork. Kento lightens the heavy atmosphere by gifting the Saint a vibrating adult toy, which she finds hilarious.
—
Trivia:
- Loire-Rose and Kento have met before while she was incognito.
- Muse is not just a maid but a specialized magic user from a specific clan.
- The ambush was significant enough to bypass the Saint’s innate Holy defenses.
- Archbishop Trantestar is viewed as ‘shady’ even by the Queen
—
Character Insight:
Loire-Rose uses her ‘Gyaru’ slang and bubbly persona as a defense mechanism to mask the trauma of her recent journey and the attack she survived.
—
Behind the Scenes:
The author uses the contrast between the ‘Holy’ status of the characters and Kento’s ‘Lewd’ items for comedic relief in high-stakes political situations.
—
TL Notes:
Notes:
• Loire-Rose – The current Saintess, possessing a divine appearance yet a modern, playful, and irreverent attitude that clashes with Church tradition. She has white hair, pale skin, blue eyes, and wears clergy robes.
• Amelia – The Sister of the Church of Demon-Subjugating, who usually buys from Kento, has light blue hair.
• Cecile – A queen in the capital who possesses the authority to regulate business and commerce, particularly concerning moral or public order issues. She is currently investigating Kento’s shop, ‘Harvest.’ Have long golden hair, elegant, and wearing expensive white dress with gold accesories.
• Muse – Cecile’s trusted attendant and chief maid, Muse handles sensitive, discreet tasks like espionage and product acquisition. Have sharp, black eyes, wearing maid uniform, and have expressionless face.
• Kento – The owner of the magic tool shop ‘Harvest,’ which discretely sells adult goods. He’s a former overworked, ordinary salaryman from modern Japan who was suddenly transported (isekai’d) to this fantasy world. He has dark hair and an unremarkable appearance, typically wearing a plain, slightly suspicious-looking shop owner’s clothes looks like Kazuma Satou from certain series. He has a minimal amount of magic power, enough to craft his specialty items.
• Mork – A central figure in the ‘Inquisition.’ Acts panicked and constantly looks sideways, seemingly pressured by the masked Inquisitor. He represents the rigid, fear-based opposition to the protagonist’s products. A Cardinal and the right-hand man to the Holy Figure. He is a skilled user of Holy Arts.
• Trantestar – The middle-aged man Archbishop of Canarias and the initiator of the current trial. He is an alleged ally of Kento but remains suspiciously neutral.
• Slop – Leader of the hound-kin pack; Laika’s father. Has orange hair and fluffy tail.
• Suu – Secretary for the Royal Capital Beast-person Mutual Aid Association and a cat beast-person. Sample No. 19 in Kento’s report. She steps up as the first witness for the defense. Wears glasses and a tight suit.
Please bookmark this series and rate ☆☆☆☆☆ on here!
Edited by Kanaa-senpai.
Thanks for reading.
Leave a Reply