Chapter 445 The Wriggle-Series Launch
Edited by: Kanaa-senpai
A few days later, the launch day for the “Wiggle” product line finally arrived. I stood before my staff, giving one last rallying cry before the doors opened.
”Alright everyone, we move exactly as rehearsed. Ready?” I asked.
”””””Yes!”””””
The main attraction today was the “Wiggle-D**do-Buddy.” It was the latest evolution of our shop’s signature “D**do-Buddy” line, which had started with the “Vibe-model.”
Next up was the “Nip-Clit Licker.”¹ This little beauty was packed with three independent micro-actuators. In the end, I’d decided to bundle it with a simple, harness-style strap to keep it in place. It was a work in progress, but it would get the job done for now.
Then there was the “Wiggle-D**do-Buddy: Rear-Edition.”² This one was strictly for the veterans, but given the nature of our clientele, I wasn’t taking any chances with the sales pitch.
”Um, Master? There are… a lot of people out there,” Nina said, looking out the window.
”Of course there are. This is the first new ‘D**do-Buddy’ gimmick since the ‘Toasty’ model. These ladies have been waiting with bated breath-and damp thighs-for this moment,” I replied.
”Seriously…?” Nina muttered.
The one sounding spooked was Doctor Nina-Mailse, the “Sacred Artificer” who had somehow become my apprentice. I’d had her dispatched from the Canariasconvent specifically for today.
As for the rest of the crew, first was our heavy hitter, my Lady Lily. I couldn’t dream of surviving this battlefield without her. She stood there with such an air of quiet dignity it was almost intimidating. I couldn’t help but fall for her all over again.
Then there was Sister Amelia, a veteran of countless sales-floor skirmishes. Technically, she was another dispatch from the convent. Having been on the front lines for every single release day to date, she radiated a dependable, battle-hardened aura.
Satsuki, the court mage, didn’t even feel like a Royal Palace envoy anymore. She hadn’t been around for the launch of the “Rear-series,” but seeing her now, sporting the face of a true warrior… it brought a lump to my throat for several reasons.
Finally, there was Flearis, Lily’s younger foster sister. She lacked the raw experience of the others, which was worrying, but she was sharp. I was confident she’d make it back alive. At the very least, she was leagues ahead of Nina, who was a total amateur when it comes to adult magic circuits.
My biggest concern was the absence of our elite forces: Tania the love-elf and Laika the love-dog. They were each worth a thousand soldiers, but they were both pregnant, so there was no way I’m letting them near the storefront. I just hope the gap they left wasn’t too wide.
Still, no use overthinking it. You fight with the army you have. Looking at the backs of my warriors, I steeled my resolve.
”A-Ah… the customers… their eyes look scary…” Nina whispered.
”Yeah. Today is a life-or-death battle for them, too,” I said.
”What…?”
Nina wasn’t wrong. Every woman lined up outside had the eyes of a predator. On the surface, they were chatting amiably with friends and regulars about their expectations for the “new arrivals,” but the sheer tension in the air was palpable.
As for the solo crowd, their raw, viscous lust was practically visible. You could see it in the way they restlessly shifted, rubbing their thighs together or crossing their arms to heave up their chests.
We hadn’t given them much to go on-just a vague “new products coming soon.” But they were a seasoned bunch; they’ve learned to scout and share intel among themselves.
We knew they’d do that, so we leaned into it. This wasn’t just a launch at the main shop; we coordinated a simultaneous release with Merchant Guild Brown Bear and Merchant Guild Garou. Lines were likely forming at their branches as we spoke.
The idea was to spread the load and take the pressure off the main shop, but a lot of the power users insisted on buying from the source, no matter how packed it gets.
Some do it out of fan loyalty; others do it to avoid being spotted by neighbors elsewhere. Then there were those who gamble on the main shop being the least crowded because everyone else went to the guilds. The psychological warfare had begun long before the first sale.
”I-Is this for real…?” Nina asked.
”Dead serious, Nina. Keep your head on a swivel or this place will eat you alive. You ready?” I asked.
”U-Ugh… h-huuh…”
Alright. The magic circuit shop “Harvest” was now open!
* * *
I’ll give you the bottom line: this was a massacre. It made every previous “battle” look like a playground spat. From the second the doors opened, it was a tidal wave of customers.
Our shop was tiny, so I put Nina on crowd control to manage the queue and stop people from shoving their way in. But… She was useless. The sheer pressure from the customers flattened her.
I had to swap with her, taking over the door while she handled restocking. That was my first mistake.
My second mistake: I vastly underestimated the completionist crowd. I figured the “Rear-Edition Wiggle-Buddy” would be a niche seller, but it moved like lightning.
I expected some interest, but this was insane. The “Rear-model” is practically useless unless you’re already hosting one of those specialized slimes in your gut.³
I made sure to tell them that, but they just looked me in the eye with that warrior’s stare and said, “I know. Sell it to me.” Right. It seemed our customer base consisted entirely of women who had been “thoroughly developed” in the back.
Actually, considering these were the types to stand in line on launch day, I should have seen that coming. That one was on me.
Still, my veteran staff held the line. Lily processed the queue with a cool, effortless grace. Amelia kept up her “Saint” persona, flashing a business smile even as fans clamored to shake her hand.
Satsuki was occasionally recognized as the hero who took down two Great Dragons, and she spent the whole time serving customers with a bright red face. Adorable.
One happy surprise was Flearis. She stepped up and filled the void left by Tania and the others perfectly. Whether it was her Pink Clan heritage or just being Lily’s sister, she proved herself a true asset.
The final miscalculation? The crowd never let up. The morning rush ended, sure, but the flow stayed steady until evening. We never had a moment of peace.
Part of that was because things slowed down into “consultation mode” once the initial frenzy died down. We spent a lot more time with each customer-mostly answering questions about the “Rear-model.”
By the end of the day, the sales figures were astronomical. It felt like every woman in the Royal Capital had stopped by. I know that’s an exaggeration, but it didn’t feel like one at the time.
Regardless, we made it through in one piece. I’ll need to check in with the Brown Bear and Garou guilds tomorrow to see how their numbers looked, but that can wait.
I’m also eager to see the data from the simultaneous launches in other regions. There will be a delay because of the distance, but I’m looking forward to the results. I’ll use that intel to craft our next sales strategy and plan the next big drop.
”Hey. You still with us?” I asked.
”H-Hah… b-barely…”
Nina was facedown on the floor, not even twitching. Well, if nothing else, I’d certainly succeeded in giving my apprentice her first real trial by fire.
—
Summary:
The magic shop ‘Harvest’ launches its new ‘Wiggle’ line of adult goods. Despite coordinating with multiple guilds to manage the crowd, the main shop is overwhelmed by a ‘massacre’ of eager customers. The protagonist and his team work tirelessly, including a trial-by-fire for his new apprentice, Nina.
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Trivia:
- Tania and Laika are absent due to pregnancy.
- The ‘Rear-Edition’ sold better than expected despite being for advanced users.
- Simultaneous releases happened at Merchant Guild Brown Bear and Merchant Guild Garou.
- The protagonist had to swap roles with Nina because she couldn’t handle crowd control
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Character Insight:
The protagonist shows growth as a manager, anticipating the ‘psychological warfare’ of the launch, though he still underestimates the intensity of his fanbase’s ‘rear-end’ interests.
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Behind the Scenes:
The ‘warrior’ metaphor used throughout the chapter is a staple of the author’s humorous juxtaposition of mundane retail with epic fantasy tropes.
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TL Notes:
Notes:
• Nina-Mailse – Sacred Artificer from the Holy City with short violet hair and those thick, bottle‑bottom glasses that somehow still look good. A Ward from a big Purist family in the Wielope Empire, but she ditched the whole fundamentalist thing. Sticks close to the Saint and might end up as Kento’s apprentice in the Church of Demon‑Subjugation. Smart, loyal, and quietly rebellious.
• Lily – the sl*ve and primary experiment subject for the magic shop, ‘Harvest.’ She has striking pink hair, Blue eyes, medium breasts, which the Protagonist associates with being ‘wanton’. She has a working knowledge of magic, which she kept hidden from the slave trader.
• Amelia – A light blue-haired Sister of the Church of Demon-Subjugating and Kento’s shy harem member. A newly awakened “Saint” from Holy Sleep, modest and easily embarrassed with red ears and neck. Wears her habit and treasures Kento’s ring on a necklace.
• Satsuki – Miranda’s granddaughter—a talented court mage with long black hair, staff, and palace robes. Prickly tsundere companion of Kento who fought in the dragon subjugation. Now humiliated yet fulfilled as Harvest’s new worker, her research thrives under his guidance while she whispers romantic tips to Amelia.
• Flearis – A member of the diplomatic envoy and guard. Has pink hair. Lily’s sister or Martin’s younger foster sister. Has pink hair. Member of the covert unit. Displays a cold, almost vengeful pragmatism when reporting her sister’s words to Martin.
• Laika – The beastwoman dog.
• Tania – An Elf adventurer who, despite her race’s reputation for low sex drive, is secretly quite passionate. She initially seemed ‘wasted’ (emotionally dry) to her friend Raika, but was easily introduced to the pleasure-items sold at ‘Harvest.’ She is easily embarrassed and attempts to maintain a dignified facade, despite her recent, frequent purchases. She wears practical but light armor over a simple cloth tunic and short pants, highlighting her grace and agility. Her primary relationship is one of friendly senior-junior with Raika.
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Edited by Kanaa-senpai.
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