Chapter 477 Is There Really an Old Lady Like You?
Edited by: Kanaa-senpai
A few days had passed since then. Ancient Elf Carley¹—also known as “Mother”—had been staying quietly in a guest room within the royal palace. Gustav, the head of the Wielope assassins, remained with her. Since both had their magic sealed, Gustav couldn’t actually serve as a guard, but he insisted he “couldn’t leave Mother alone,” so I had no choice but to allow it.
We received a prompt reply from the Wielope Empire stating they would “dispatch a formal envoy.” I wasn’t sure what the specific conditions would be yet, but I heard they weren’t looking to escalate the situation.
”Granny! Granny!” Momo shouted.
”Now, now… it’s not ‘Granny,’ it’s Miss Carley, okay?” I corrected.
”No, I am indeed a ‘granny.’ Momo is such a good girl,” Carley said.
”You’re actually okay with that…?” I muttered.
As for me, I had been going about my daily life, occasionally visiting her like this with my daughter, Momo. You might wonder why Momo was there. Honestly, so do I.
Initially, I went alone. I was the one who designed the Anti-Magic² circuits keeping her suppressed, and while I had taught the castle staff how to use them, I needed to personally handle the fine-tuning and safety checks.
That part was fine. The problem was that back at home, Momo started asking, “Where’s Granny?” every time she remembered her. It had been happening every single day since that incident. No matter how much I explained that she couldn’t see her right now, Momo wouldn’t budge, eventually breaking into tears. It was a massive headache.
I have no idea what she likes so much about Carley. But when your daughter begs you like that, what can you do? I consulted with Her Majesty the Queen and started bringing Momo along during my visits.
I only do it occasionally so Momo doesn’t get exhausted, but on the off-days, she invariably asks, “Where’s Granny?” When I tell her “Tomorrow,” she reluctantly accepts it… but man, I’m feeling a serious amount of jealousy here. Still, I suppose…
”Granny, you okay?” Momo asked.
”Hmm? I’m fine, just bored,” Carley replied. “I was always surrounded by children back home; being alone gives me absolutely nothing to do.”
When Momo isn’t around, Carley just stares vacantly into space, so I guess the visits are good for her, too. Technically, she’s being treated as a guest of honor. The palace staff can’t let her leave, but they’ve been providing books and knitting supplies to help her kill time.
But she has zero interest in any of it. She just… stares. The first time I saw her like that, I seriously wondered if she’d started growing roots from her feet like the old Elf legends say. Even Head of Wielope Gustav, acting as her guard, was panicked, saying he’d “never seen Mother like this.”
”…You really love kids, don’t you?” I asked.
”Hmm. ‘Love’ isn’t quite the word… they’re just so cute, I never tire of watching them, you know?”
”…I mean, I totally agree, but you’re way too uninterested in everything else.”
”I suppose so,” Carley said, petting Momo’s head. “Honestly, I’m surprised myself. I think I used to have hobbies once… but now, even when I eat a delicious treat, I just think about how I want to give some to the children. Or when I read a book, I think about whether it would be a good story to read aloud to them. That’s all I think about lately.”
As she stroked the head of the now-exhausted, sleeping Momo, she didn’t look like an Ancient Elf who propped up an empire from the shadows. Then again, she didn’t exactly look like a mother either. If I had to describe her, she looked like a kind, child-loving “big sister” from the neighborhood.
After all, based purely on looks, Carley might actually be younger than my own beloved Tania. But the aura she carries and the way she speaks are so weathered and mature that it makes her feel much older than Tania.
”Well, that’s all well and good, but focusing entirely on kids isn’t exactly healthy, is it?” I said. “If the Emperor asks for your input, you’ll be in a spot if you don’t know what’s going on.”
”True enough. Perhaps I’ll try to pay a bit more attention… Maybe I should take frequent ‘strolls’ so things don’t blow up into a crisis every time.”
”…Do whatever you want, just don’t cause trouble for us, okay?”
”Indeed. From now on, if I want to see your little ones, I’ll make sure to clear it with the leaders of both nations. Also, I really should have studied magic circuits more… I was actually quite shocked that I couldn’t wrap my head around even a fraction of your designs. With the old, simple ones, I could usually replicate them just by sight…”
She pouted her lower lip with a frustrated hum. Right—Carley had also developed a deep fascination with our shop’s magic circuits and my inventions. Specifically, she was dying to know the mechanics behind the Dildo-Buddy Cannon³.
Obviously, I wasn’t going to teach her that, and she didn’t seem to have any inside info. Instead, she gave me a very enthusiastic, “To have slain that Lust Dragon is a feat that will go down in human history.”
She was equally impressed by our shop’s defense system that had captured her. She admitted the inner workings were “beyond her imagination,” but she praised it as a masterpiece.
Seeing her like this, she really is just an old lady who loves kids and can’t keep up with new tech. Well, I’d never say that out loud for diplomatic reasons. Plus, there’s one thing that makes me hesitate to call her a “grandma” entirely…
”Oh, that reminds me. That thing… it’s actually quite good,” Carley said.
”…What ‘thing’?”
”The High-Class Slime-Pal⁴.”
”…You used it?”
”Yes, I upgraded. I thought a standard Slime-Pal would be enough for an Elf like me, but I was so bored that I gave it a try. It really hits the spot.”
So, this Ancient Elf—despite everything—has been thoroughly testing our shop’s inventory. Don’t overdo it, granny. Whoops—gotta watch myself, even if I’m just thinking it.
Apparently, our shop’s products are a bit of a trend in the Wielope Imperial Castle. Carley only visited us because the Emperor himself told her, “There’s some interesting stuff there.” Is that Empire going to be okay? Well, Her Majesty in our country is just as obsessed, so I guess I can’t really talk.
”By the way, regarding that product… can’t you do something about the bladder function?” Carley asked.
”…That’s physically difficult, isn’t it? I mean, I could do it, but I’m just not into that kind of thing.”
”I see. That’s a shame. On another note, do you have any plans to make a rejuvenation medicine for women? It’s not that I don’t get ‘ready,’ but my libido is just so withered that I can’t really get into the mood…”
Why is this Ancient Elf being so shamelessly blunt? Momo is asleep, so that’s fine, but Gustav is in the corner of the room looking like he wants to dissolve into the floor.
Personally, I’m not a fan of being pushed this aggressively without a hint of bashfulness. But she’s technically a guest of honor, so I can’t exactly yell at her. I tried to play along.
”…The magic potions I make generally only affect the body. If it starts messing with the mind, it gets classified as a forbidden tool, right?”
”Hmm, true. Those kinds of things are tricky to handle…” Carley said.
”I mean, I don’t know if it’s an age thing, or an Elf thing, or just a ‘you’ thing… but if you love kids that much, didn’t you ever have… those kinds of urges?”
”Everyone around me is a child I raised myself. I have no partners,” Carley said, looking directly at me. “You’re likely the first man I’ve met in several hundred years who could even be a candidate.”
”Huh?”
”Hmm?”
…I’m going to pretend I didn’t hear that.
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Summary:
Following the conflict with the Wielope Empire, the Ancient Elf Carley is being held as a guest in the royal palace. She has formed an unexpected bond with the Shopkeeper’s daughter, Momo, who insists on visiting her ‘Granny’ daily. Amidst diplomatic tensions, Carley reveals she has been sampling the shop’s adult goods and expresses interest in the Shopkeeper as a romantic candidate.
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Trivia:
- Carley is actually the one who designed the defense systems and political structure of the enemy empire.
- The protagonist is the only one who can properly maintain the Anti-Magic circuits on Carley.
- The Emperor of the enemy nation is actually a fan of the protagonist’s adult goods.
- Carley’s maternal instincts have completely overridden her identity as a ruthless Ancient Elf.
- Gustav is present in the room throughout the awkward conversation about adult toys and libido
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Character Insight:
Carley displays a ‘grandma-like’ obsession with children, indicating her long life has left her with little interest in politics or war, but her blunt s*xual inquiries show she still maintains a practical, uninhibited elven perspective. The Shopkeeper shows his typical grounded Earth-logic, feeling awkward about ‘kink’ requests and his daughter’s attachments.
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Behind the Scenes:
The title is a parody of Kenshiro’s line from Fist of the North Star.
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TL Notes:
Notes:
• Carley – Ancient Elf ‘Mother’ leading Wielope Empire assassins—young human looks with ancient aura, long green hair, carefree villain vibe calling Emperor ‘Dee-bou.’ Never birthed but matriarch figure, grants Forest Blessing, stays chill even tentacle/slime-trapped.
• Gustav – Leader of the Wielope Empire’s elite ‘Shadow’ assassin crew—captured in royal dungeon & victory parade hit, now snagged by shop defenses. Die-hard Emperor loyalist, shakes at the thought of Carley getting hurt from political fallout.
• Momo – The newborn daughter of Kento and Lily. She has pink hair and her father’s ear and eyebrow shapes. Very energetic and vocal for an infant. Approximately one year old. Capable of standing on her own and mimicking simple words. Energetic and affectionate. The shopkeeper’s eldest daughter who has recently started speaking.
• Tania – An Elf adventurer who, despite her race’s reputation for low sex drive, is secretly quite passionate. She initially seemed ‘wasted’ (emotionally dry) to her friend Raika, but was easily introduced to the pleasure-items sold at ‘Harvest.’ She is easily embarrassed and attempts to maintain a dignified facade, despite her recent, frequent purchases. She wears practical but light armor over a simple cloth tunic and short pants, highlighting her grace and agility. Her primary relationship is one of friendly senior-junior with Raika.
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Edited by Kanaa-senpai.
Thanks for reading.
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