Volume 1 Chapter 1 The Onanist Gets Caught Up in a Terrorist Attack
Edited by: Kanaa-senpai
”God, today was another soul-crushing grind…”
The words slipped out of my mouth as I swayed with the rhythm of the train on the way home from work.
I’m Araya Daisuke. Just another corporate drone in his late thirties. It’s been fifteen years since I moved to the city from the sticks, my head full of big dreams and ambitions. Now? The daily grind has chewed all that up. My spirit is officially broken.
I’m not married.
When I was younger, I was desperate for a girlfriend. I tried everything: group dates, matchmaking parties, dating sites. None of it ever worked out.
At the group dates, I was too aggressive and creeped the girls out. At the matchmaking parties, the doctors and the chiseled guys from the mega-corps swept the floor with me. And the dating sites? Only “women with circumstances” ever swiped right on my profile.
Even so, I couldn’t just give up on women. I tried hitting up snack bars¹ and girls’ bars², but that was a dead end, too.
Determined to at least lose my virginity before I hit thirty, I finally caved and went to a brothel. It was… hollow. Maybe it was just bad chemistry, or maybe it was because there was zero emotional connection, but it did nothing for me.
So, I eventually gave up on the whole idea of marriage.
With the world being what it is lately-where even going out is a hassle-my only remaining hobby is scrolling through web novels.
Marriage is off the table, and I’ve lost the stomach for paid flings, but my libido hasn’t gotten the memo. Now that I’m pushing forty, I don’t go at it every single day, but jerking off has become my primary way to vent the stress of the office.
Maybe something with a massive rack tonight? Yeah, there’s just something about big breasts that pulls you in. Not that I’ve ever actually touched a pair.
Then again, the loli types have their charm. That kind of innocence-in heart and body-is something you just don’t find in adult women. Even if they are flat as a board.
Man, I’m torn.
Whatever. I’ll just do my usual circuit of web novels when I get home and decide then.
”This is a priority seat, isn’t it? Don’t you think you should give it up for your elders?” a voice barked.
”…Huh?” a young man replied.
”Hm?”
I was pulled out of my internal debate about my wanking schedule by some commotion nearby. Someone was making a scene about the priority seats… wait, is that Osamu?!
Osamu-real name Yoshikawa Osamu-was my former boss. A total corporate suck-up who lived to please the higher-ups but treated his subordinates like dirt. A textbook shitty manager. He was such a prick that we all called him “Osamu” behind his back. I knew he’d retired a few years ago to take a cushy “parachuted” job at a subsidiary, but of all the luck, I had to end up on the same train as him.
Better kill my presence before he notices me. That’s a headache I don’t need.
”What do you mean, ‘Huh’?! You damn brat, have some respect!” Osamu shouted.
”Dear, please, just leave it be,” a woman said.
”That’s right, Yoshikawa-san³. I’ll find us other seats,” a man added.
Looks like his wife is with him. She actually sounds like a decent person, which is a miracle considering she’s married to that piece of shit. Not that it matters; Osamu isn’t listening to a word she says. She has zero influence over him.
The other guy trying to calm him down is another familiar face. Ina Otofumi. A thick-set guy in his fifties with a buzz cut. Like a literal grasshopper, Ina-shi spent his career bowing to the bosses while acting like a big-shot veteran to the juniors, constantly throwing his weight around. Another absolute pain in the ass. Fortunately, I was on the corporate track, so I never had to deal with “guidance” from a general-staff guy like him. But just like the wife, Ina-shi isn’t making a dent in Osamu’s ego.
I kept my head down but my ears open as the argument between Osamu and the “youth” started to redline.
”You won’t give up your seat, you can’t even give a civil answer… what the hell did your parents teach you?” Osamu sneered.
”…”
”You’re probably not even married, are you? Look at you-slovenly, pathetic. No woman in her right mind would want a loser with zero redeeming qualities.”
”…If you want to know my ‘qualities’ that badly, fine. I’ll show you,” the young man said.
”Huh? What are you-“
”Here. This is my one redeeming feature.”
The guy tossed a round object at Osamu.
BOOM!!
The roar of the explosion ripped through the air. In an instant, Osamu was on the floor, his midsection completely vaporized in a spray of blood and gore. The acrid stench of gunpowder flooded the carriage. It took a few seconds for the reality of the situation to sink in, and then-pure, unadulterated panic.
Ring! Ring! Ring!
SCREEEEEECH!!
Someone must have slammed the emergency brake. The train lurched to a violent halt, plunging us into the darkness of a tunnel.
In the chaos, the man was howling with laughter. The wife was screaming Osamu’s name, and Ina was just standing there, frozen in shock.
This was bad. Really bad. I scrambled into the next carriage. Call me a coward, but I wasn’t about to die trying to be a hero against a bomber. The other passengers were the same, huddled together, watching the man’s every move with bated breath.
The man stepped out of the train and onto the tracks, his voice echoing in the gloom.
”…Nothing! I’ve had nothing! Abused by my parents! Failed every job interview! Ignored by every woman I ever looked at! It’s over! I’m ending it all right now!!”
He screamed and started hurling bombs from his bag in every direction.
The tunnel erupted with the sound of blasts and screams. This isn’t some web novel I’m reviewing-I have to get the hell out of here!
But I was too slow.
Several of his bombs slammed into the tunnel walls. Between the explosions and the recent heavy rains loosening the soil, the structural integrity gave way. The ceiling began to groan and buckle.
”Oh…”
The world turned to falling earth and crushing stone. Before I could even process the end, the light went out.
—
Summary:
Araya Daisuke, a disillusioned salaryman, is commuting home when he encounters his former abusive boss, Yoshikawa Osamu, involved in a dispute over a priority seat. The argument escalates when the young man being confronted throws a bomb, killing Yoshikawa instantly. The train halts in a tunnel, and as the bomber continues his rampage, the tunnel collapses, burying Araya alive.
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Trivia:
- Araya’s internal monologue about ‘loli’ vs ‘big breasts’ establishes him as a typical ‘degenerate’ protagonist common in web novels.
- Ina-shi uses the suffix ‘-shi’, which is a formal/polite way to refer to someone, but Araya uses it with internal sarcasm.
- The mention of ‘rain loosening the ground’ provides the logical cause for the tunnel collapse after the explosions.
- The bomber’s grievances (abuse, job failure, no women) mirror Araya’s own mid-life crisis, just expressed through violence
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Character Insight:
Araya shows a strong survival instinct tempered by cowardice; he immediately flees rather than helping. His internal resignation about his life makes his sudden death feel particularly ironic.
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Behind the Scenes:
The ‘Status: None’ at the end is a meta-fictional signal to the reader that the story is transitioning into a ‘Game System’ or ‘Isekai’ structure.
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TL Notes:
Notes:
• Araya Daisuke – An around-forty (ara-fō) office worker/salaryman. Originally from the countryside, living in the city for 15 years. Single, cynical, and relieves stress through web novels and onanism.
• Osamu – A summoned individual from the modern world with the Sage class. He is part of the ‘socialite’ group and initially dismissive of others. An 18-year-old summoned individual who was previously a balding university graduate but is now rejuvenated with thick hair. Araya’s former boss who also died in the accident. His body was severely damaged in the previous world.
• Ina – A summoned individual with the Heavy Warrior class, now known by the soul name Otto. Part of Osamu’s group. A thick-set man in his fifties with a buzz cut. A general-staff worker who acts like a big-shot veteran to juniors while bowing to bosses. Accompanied Yoshikawa Osamu on the train.
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Edited by Kanaa-senpai.
Thanks for reading.
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