Volume 13 Chapter 417 Bulletin Board, An April Fool’s Annual Tradition
Edited by: Kanaa-senpai
[Celebration!!] Hagetoru has given birth!! [Everyone, celebrate!!]
1 Verification Team*07218KADO6
Post your congratulatory messages here!!
Hehe! I’m waitiiing~!
3 Anonymous
>>1
Hey, Hagetoru! April Fool’s is already over.
5 Anonymous
>>1
Hurry up and close this trash-tier thread.
7 Anonymous
>>1
Hagetoru, seriously… man, check a calendar. It’s April 2nd!
10 Anonymous
Everyone is being so salty toward Hagetoru, lol.
14 Anonymous
Oh, it’s that series of annual April Fool’s shitposts Hagetoru always starts. I thought we were skipping it this year, but I guess it’s just a day late.
18 Anonymous
The History of Hagetoru’s April Fool’s Annual Shitposts:
* Kindergarten: (Are there any bulletin board users who are kindergarteners?)
* Elementary 1st Grade: (I’m becoming a big girl elementary student!!)
* Elementary 2nd Grade: (Real JS [Junior Schoolgirl] trolling is making progress VS the bulletin board hags.)
* Elementary 3rd Grade: ([Veteran Cunnilingus Hag] Dangerous people whose very existence is an April Fool’s joke [The Astonishing Newcomer Chinposuki].)
* Elementary 4th Grade: ([Breaking News!] As of today, I’m changing my name to on***ii-Hagetoru!! [I’m graduating from Teasing-Hagetoru today!])
* Elementary 5th Grade: ([Sad News] Cunnilingus Hag [Becomes a working-class hag LMAO]¹ ← Not a joke, this was actually real lol.)
* Elementary 6th Grade: ([One year ago today] Don’t you dare cross Nee-san!! [I was still young back then].)
* Middle School 1st Grade: ([Good News] Now that I’m a middle schooler, I’m claiming the title of ‘Verification Team’ for myself! [on***ii-Hagetoru].)
* Middle School 2nd Grade: ([on***ii >>>] Girls who date guys in middle school are idiots [>>> Sex, lol].)
* Middle School 3rd Grade: ([Loser Group LOL] People who have nothing better to do on April Fool’s but on***ii all day, lol [← That’s me].)
* High School 1st Grade: ([Found a total psycho!] Some mental case named Tashinami and her ‘Etiquette’ LOL [Cringe cringe cringe!].)
* High School 2nd Grade: ([Celebration!] Verification Team Hagetoru and Tashinami enter a sisterhood contract! [We are married!!]² ← This was actually real.)
* High School 3rd Grade: ([Check out the national broadcaster!] This woman named Morikawa Kaede is hilarious LOL [She’ll probably get fired before the year is out!].)
* University 1st Grade: ([Sad News] Gathering of idiots who lost their wallets trying to go to a love hotel on April Fool’s [← That’s me].)
* University 2nd Grade: ([Electricity, Water, Gas, Phone] Gathering of people whose utilities were cut off on April Fool’s [I’ve got zero cash].)
* University 3rd Grade: This thread right here.
22 Anonymous
>>18
Thanks for the summary!
25 Anonymous
I’m pretty new to this Bulletin Board. Looking at >>18 is making me shake. This person has really been at this since kindergarten? That’s some hardcore dedication…
28 Anonymous
>>25
Hagetoru is a “Super Elite” birthed by the Bulletin Board itself, after all.
32 Anonymous
>>28
If anything, we’re the ones who raised her!!
35 Anonymous
>>32
Did you already forget the very first thread Hagetoru ever made? This kid was “fully grown” from the jump.
> [For all the hags here, are you free even though it’s a weekday afternoon Nano?]
> 1i46HAKADO6
> Even though I’m busy at kindergarten…
39 Anonymous
>>35
Stop. That actually hits home too hard…
41 Anonymous
>>35
Ugh, the “little girl” energy is too strong…
44 Anonymous
So Hagetoru wasn’t onanii-Hagetoru from the beginning… Wait, she’s been “teasing” people since kindergarten…?
47 Anonymous
>>44
Don’t get it twisted. The “Teasing” in ‘Teasing-Hagetoru’ wasn’t anything dirty; it meant she spent her time teasing and trolling the hags on the Bulletin Board.
50 Anonymous
>>47
This girl, LOL. How did she not end up being the most hated person on the site? LMAO.
53 Verification Team*07218KADO6
>>50
For real! Even thinking about it now, I have no idea how I pulled it off! Hehe, I know I’m a handful, but thanks for always putting up with me, you guys!!
56 Anonymous
>>53
LMAO, lol.
59 Anonymous
>>53
Well, that’s just how it is. Hagetoru actually knows how to apologize and has a certain charm, so she gets a pass. Plus, the age gap was so massive she was basically a mascot. Once we found out she was actually in elementary school, everyone started looking at her like she was their own kid or a younger sister.
62 Anonymous
>>18
> The Astonishing Newcomer Chinposuki
Thank goodness. This person was a total degenerate from the start…
65 Anonymous
>>62
Chinsuki was in middle school at the time. If you’re a middle schooler, well, that’s just par for the course, right? But Nee-san was a university student back then… Ugh!
69 Anonymous
>>65
I can’t even begin to imagine Nee-san as a university student…
73 Anonymous
>>69
And that Nee-san is already in her 30s now. Ugh, and that means I’m also…
75 Anonymous
>>18
> Elementary 5th Grade: [Sad News] Cunnilingus Hag [Becomes a working-class hag LMAO] ← Not a joke, this was actually real lol.
> Elementary 6th Grade: [One year ago today] Don’t you dare cross Nee-san!! [I was still young back then].
Seriously, what the hell happened during those years…?
79 Anonymous
>>75
That’s… you know. It’s what you’d call the “Adult Pecking Order.”
81 Anonymous
>>75
Look, I’m sorry, but what happened back then was so traumatic I can’t bring myself to talk about it…
84 Anonymous
>>75
Basically, just know that Nee-san is terrifying when she’s pissed. You’d better watch your back too…
87 Anonymous
>>75
Thinking back, that was the turning point for Hagetoru. Up until then, she’d been flexing her “youth card” to troll us, but around that time she suddenly started acting like a “small fry,” didn’t she?
90 Anonymous
>>87
A prodigy at ten, a genius at fifteen, and just a regular person after twenty. In Hagetoru’s case, that’s exactly what happened.
94 Anonymous
>>18
Hagetoru’s middle school era—the fact that she was going through puberty is hilarious, lol.
98 Anonymous
>>18
It’s also pretty funny how she went through that “edgy cynic” phase in high school, lol.
101 Anonymous
>>94 >>98
The University era that follows is a total tear-jerker… Hagetoru! Why did you have to end up like this!!
105 Anonymous
>>18
Everyone, when you have some downtime, you should really go back and check out the threads listed here. The logs are all still there, and honestly, every single one of them is legendary, lol.
109 Anonymous
Oh, look! It’s Hagetoru’s April Fool’s thread! As someone who’s the same “P-years-old” as Hakuryuu-sensei, my year doesn’t officially start until I’ve seen this.
113 Anonymous
Hagetoru… even though the other three members of the Verification Team actually gave birth, you’re the only one who…
117 Anonymous
>>113
Stop it. Just let her have this one.
120 Anonymous
So Hagetoru’s “hysterical pregnancy” bit is still going strong, huh…
124 Anonymous
Congrats on the birth, Hagetoru. Glad for you…
128 Anonymous
>>124
The sheer kindness of the Bulletin Board users is bringing a tear to my eye.
131 Anonymous
By the way, Kohina Yukari who just joined Beryl Entertainment on April Fool’s, got fired in less than a day. I checked their site earlier; she was canned for getting into a scrap with a stray cat in the park.
135 Anonymous
>>131
And then she just crawled back to Beyond Production with a straight face? lol.
138 Anonymous
I just checked and this group already called it quits too, LMAO.
===
[BREAKING NEWS] “The Dream Group” Disbands After Just 24 Hours!
The ultimate idol supergroup, whose sudden formation was announced on April 1st, has officially disbanded after only one day.
This legendary-tier lineup featured nothing but aces: Shirogane Aqua, a charismatic male idol and BERYL’s leader, who commands global broadcasts with booming shouts that spark hope. His striking stage presence…sharp eyes, sleek hair, confident stance…energizes crowds, driving social change. Once a different person, now a husband to several wives and a father, he blends past-life wisdom with present influence.. He was joined by Tsukimachi Ayana of Eau De Cologne and Kato Iria of Fairies. However, the official homepage announced the split was due to the members becoming “homesick” for their original groups.
However, an investigative reporter from the Seibaku Newspaper has uncovered the scandalous truth. Reliable testimony from a source identified as Y.E-san states: “Aqua-sama was making moves on the girls in every single idol group involved in the formation. That’s the real reason they split!”
When our reporter ambushed Shirogane Aqua for a statement, he frankly admitted to the lower-body scandal, saying: “It’s all true. I mean, they’re all just so cute.”
Our team immediately took to the street to gauge public reaction. Surprisingly, fans were overwhelmingly supportive of Shirogane Aqua’s extracurricular activities, with comments such as: “It’s only natural,” “He should just go ahead and eat all the fans too,” “I love him—please embrace me next,” “Conquer every idol out there,” and “Don’t you stop now!”
Furthermore, citizens expressed high praise for this publication: “Unlike other papers that only push negative agendas, the Seibaku Newspaper is a breath of fresh air,” and “Seibaku Newspaper is just like Morikawa Kaede’s Power News—it’s our true healing.”
===
142 Anonymous
>>138
LOL.
146 Anonymous
>>138
I love that they didn’t disband over “creative differences,” but because they were just homesick, lol. Everyone really stans their own groups, huh? lol.
149 Anonymous
>>138
I’ve never even heard of a “zipper scandal” involving a guy before. As expected of Aqua-sama.
153 Anonymous
>>138
The rumor is that Aqua-sama only formed this group as an April Fool’s prank to escape from Kohina Yukari after she joined Beryl. I’m dying, lol. In fact, he ran right back home the second she got fired.
157 Anonymous
>>153
No way… that can’t be real, right?
160 Anonymous
>>157
He literally admitted it on social media, lol.
> Beryl Fan: Aqua-sama, is this for real?
> Shirogane Aqua: It is true.
> Kohina Yukari: WHAT?! Don’t you mess with me!! If that’s the case, I’m coming back to Beryl right now!!
> Atori: Eh…? No, you can’t. The President of Beyond Production would literally cry.
Beryl Fan:
Kohina Yukari getting rejected normally is hilarious, lol.
164 Anonymous
>>160
This is only possible because they’re on good terms, lol.
168 Anonymous
>>160
Flirting on social media as usual, damn it!!
172 Anonymous
>>168
If this looks like flirting to you, you’re in a serious condition.
175 Anonymous
Hey, more importantly, Emily-sama has finally given birth!
179 Anonymous
>>175
Today’s news is dominated by that, isn’t it?
Man, it’s truly a cause for celebration!!
183 Anonymous
Emily-sama, congratulations on your delivery!
Hey, Hagetoru, hurry up and wrap up this crap thread!!
186 Anonymous
Eh? Is it okay to post congratulatory messages for Emily-sama here?
Emily-sama, congratulations on the birth of your child!!
190 Anonymous
Congratulations on the birth of the baby, Emily-sama!
194 Anonymous
Wishing for Emily-sama and the baby to spend their days in good health!
197 Anonymous
I pray that Aqua-sama and Emily-sama’s child grows up healthy!!
201 Anonymous
You guys, give Hagetoru a little bit of celebration too, LMAO
205 Anonymous
>>201
Ah, yeah….
208 Anonymous
>>201
I guess… you’re right.
212 Anonymous
Ah—er, right. Hagetoru also, congrats on the birth.
215 Anonymous
>>212
I can’t stop crying at the kindness of the Bulletin Board users!!
219 Anonymous
Speaking of which, what happened to Inko, who joined the Tatejimars just for April Fool’s?
223 Anonymous
>>219
Inko threw a no-bounce ceremonial first pitch and had the crowd buzzing.
226 Anonymous
>>223
Since I’m a Bulletin Board user, it looked like a ‘no-panties’ pitch….
229 Anonymous
>>226
Me too….
234 Anonymous
Speaking of which, Morikawa Kaede’s Power News on April 1st.
Morikawa herself didn’t appear at all and it was hilarious, lol.
What the hell was she doing? LOL
238 Anonymous
>>234
Apparently, she was acting as an attendant for Emily-sama’s delivery.
241 Anonymous
>>238
Hey now, was it really okay for Morikawa to be there….
243 Anonymous
>>238
No matter how much good luck she seems to bring, Emily-sama was way too confused in her choice of people….
246 Anonymous
Nobody is pointing it out, but a news program that functions even without the host…
249 Anonymous
>>246
Morikawa is basically like a mascot.
252 Anonymous
Did anyone go to Wonderland on April 1st?
I heard they did a one-day-only gender reversal because the previous cross-dressing by Kukuri-chan-sama and the others was a hit….
255 Anonymous
>>252
Kujaku-kun’s girl-mode appearance was getting relentlessly teased by Yamada-kun, lol.
After that, Hajime-kun actually looked good in it.
259 Anonymous
>>255
Wow, I wanted to see that.
264 Anonymous
Um, for the Heaven’s Sword ‘Minami Coffee Shop’ that was running as an April Fool’s project, was that a one-day-only shop?
268 Anonymous
>>264
It’s only on April 1st that Tenga-senpai and the Minami Coffee Shop cast are participating as staff.
The shop itself seems like it’ll be open for a while. With the cooperation of the lodging house.
Cosplay is OK and photography is OK inside, so for those who want to see a perfect reproduction of the real set of Minami Coffee Shop, go early.
273 Anonymous
Guys, more importantly, did you see the Hana-ata site?
For the April Fool’s project, the cast members who were covered up with CG or male clothing were all BERYL!!
276 Anonymous
>>273
Huh? I’m just finding out now!?
I’m going to check it out right away!!
279 Anonymous
>>273
This is crazy, lol.
Does this mean we can get our hopes up!?
282 Anonymous
I just checked the Hana-ata site….
Everyone was great, but the grown-up Aqua-sama’s Yuujin-sama had become even more Yuujin-sama, and I writhed in agony.
286 Anonymous
>>282
It’s so hot that they didn’t just reuse images from back then but actually re-shot it with the current Aqua-sama!!
290 Anonymous
>>252
Speaking of gender reversal, the Corolle site is also crazy.
Aqua-sama’s girl-mode dress appearance and Kanon-sama’s boy-mode suit appearance are works of art.
By the way, Kanoa-kun, Toa, and Rinon-chan, who rarely have photos released, are appearing in promotional materials for baby goods.
294 Anonymous
>>290
Kanon-sama as a prince and Aqua-kun as a princess are great too.
Though that’s a development that could absolutely never happen with the real Pon-nami-sama, lol.
298 Anonymous
>>290
Rinon-chan is a child… but I have nothing but a premonition she’ll become a beauty, and I think Kanoa-kun is definitely a real-life prince.
The facial structures of those two are perfect to begin with, so no matter how you combine them, they’ll be handsome men and beautiful women.
302 Anonymous
>>298
In that sense, I’m curious about Aqua-sama and Emily-sama’s child too.
305 Anonymous
Speaking of which, has the gender of Emily-sama’s child been revealed yet?
So far, everyone except Kanoa-kun is a girl, right?
308 Anonymous
>>305
If it’s a boy, it’ll surely be a huge deal.
Maybe he’ll form an Idol group with Kanoa-kun in the future!?
313 Anonymous
>>308
Hey now, I understand the feeling, but keep the delusions in check.
Aqua-kun’s children should all follow the paths they like.
That said, I’d be happy if they inherited their father’s legacy and became Idols, singers, or actors.
317 Anonymous
>>313
Exactly!
321 Anonymous
Look at Emily-sama’s social media, LMAO
324 Yukishiro Emily
Everyone’s reaction is so interesting, so I’m not announcing the baby’s gender!!
328 Anonymous
>>324
Dwoaaah!
332 Anonymous
>>324
I love this charming side of Emily-sama, lol.
335 Anonymous
>>324
As expected of the Yukishiro bloodline.
She’s playing with us, LMAO
338 Verification Team*010meTA473
What is this thread….
341 Anonymous
>>338
Ah, she noticed.
345 Anonymous
>>338
It’s Hagetoru’s annual April Fool’s crap thread!
349 Anonymous
>>338
See >>18.
353 Verification Team*010meTA473
>>349
Looking at the thread title reminded me of the Hagetoru of the past and I’m starting to get irritated.
I’m not mentally unstable!!
I was just a little bit of a dreamer!!
356 Anonymous
>>353
Yes, yes, of course.
360 Anonymous
>>353
Seeing Tashinami all huffy makes me feel kind of warm inside.
364 Verification Team*07218KADO6
>>353
===
119 Tashinami of the Maiden*010meTA473
The things written in Hana-ata and Konouri are true!!
There’s no way Yakumo Itsuki-sensei or Hakuryuu-sensei would lie to us!!
So someday I’ll be pursued by a boy like Yuujin-sama… Kyah!
Every day, he’ll whisper ‘I love you’ and give me goodnight and morning kisses.
Oh, since it’s pitiful, I’ll hire Hagetoru as a servant at that time.
You can just watch me and Yuujin-sama being lovey-dovey from a distance and bite your handkerchief!!
===
367 Anonymous
>>364
It’s hilarious how Tashinami’s comments come right up from the logs, LOL
369 Anonymous
>>364
You like Tashinami way too much. Hurry up and get married already, lol.
372 Anonymous
>>364
Sad news: Tashinami is already married….
375 Verification Team*010meTA473
>>364
After that, I properly got married to a boy like Yuujin-sama… no, a boy even better than Yuujin-sama!
So, that match back then is my win!
Yes, Tashinami-chan great victory!!
379 Anonymous
>>375
It’s the long-awaited ‘Tashinami-chan great victory’!!
382 Anonymous
>>379
Actually, she says that once in a while.
384 Anonymous
>>375
I come to the Bulletin Board specifically to see this.
Thank you, Tashinami.
386 Anonymous
>>375
I’m touched that Tashinami hasn’t grown up at all!!
388 Verification Team*07218KADO6
>>375
I’m touched!!
Tashinami… stay exactly as you are!
390 Anonymous
>>364
Nobody is pointing it out, but if it were Hagetoru, even if she saw the lovemaking between Tashinami and Aqua-sama up close, instead of biting a handkerchief, she’d probably just be grinning sloppily and being happy.
Oh, the purity of Tashinami, not realizing she lost at that point….
393 Anonymous
>>390
Shhh!
396 Hakuryuu*XQshotacon
>>364
Wow, this is kind of embarrassing~.
Tashinami-san, thank you for believing in me.
I don’t know about Yakumo-sensei, but as the author, I doubted the work I was drawing for a period of time….
399 Anonymous
>>396
Hey!
401 Anonymous
>>396
Aiko-chan-sensei…?
404 Anonymous
>>396
Sensei-chan, listen.
You have to take responsibility for dragging us down into this swamp.
407 Hakuryuu*XQshotacon
Ah, everyone, I’m sorry.
But even an author has times when they lose confidence once in a while~.
Forgive me.
410 Anonymous
>>407
I forgive you!
412 Anonymous
>>407
Well, this was around the time when Hakuryuu-sensei was being severely criticized by antis.
415 Anonymous
>>407
It can’t be helped. Everyone has times like that.
418 Verification Team*9n2SARETAi
Hagetoru-san… I thought you were being quiet, but what is this thread?
>>407
At the very least, I was saved by Sensei’s work during my hard times.
I’m still grateful even now. Thank you very much.
421 Anonymous
>>418
Strongly agree!!
425 Anonymous
>>418
>>18
429 Anonymous
>>425
Hey, stop it!!
432 Verification Team*9n2SARETAi
>>425
A university student isn’t a hag yet, right?
In the first place, why call a female university student a ‘veteran soldier’?
It’s true that I’ve been on the Bulletin Board since middle school, though.
Now that I remember, I’m starting to get irritated.
Hagetoru-san, are you there?
436 Anonymous
>>432
Hieeee!!
438 Anonymous
Hey, Hagetoru. Prostrate yourself this second!!
441 Verification Team*07218KADO6
>>432
I’m so sorry!!
444 Anonymous
>>441
Reaction is too slow!!
If it were the old you, you would have replied in a second!!
446 Anonymous
>>444
LMAO
449 Verification Team*9n2SARETAi
>>441
It was a joke.
452 Anonymous
>>449
Thank goodness….
455 Anonymous
>>449
That Nee-san said it was a joke…?
458 Anonymous
>>455
Hey, stop it!
462 Anonymous
In Nee-san’s case, it’s actually scarier when she’s joking.
466 Anonymous
>>462
That’s why I said don’t poke the hornet’s nest!!
469 Anonymous
Nee-san-calling-hag Hagetoru is now almost the same age as Nee-san was back then, lol.
Man, this is deeply moving. Well, I’ve become a real hag myself….
472 Anonymous
>>469
A massive boomerang coming back after ten-plus years, that’s just like Hagetoru.
475 Anonymous
>>472
lol.
478 Verification Team*CHiMPOsuki
Oh, is Hagetoru apologizing to everyone?
Hey, Hagetoru. Don’t you have something to say to me too!?
482 Verification Team*07218KADO6
>>478
No, nothing in particular for Chinsuki.
485 Anonymous
>>482
LMAOLMAO
487 Anonymous
>>482
Look for something!!
490 Verification Team*07218KADO6
>>487
No, I looked, but there really wasn’t a single thing for Chinsuki.
494 Anonymous
>>490
You LMAO
498 Anonymous
>>490
It’s hilarious that there’s nothing for Chinsuki alone, lol.
502 Verification Team*CHiMPOsuki
>>490
Now that I think about it, there really wasn’t anything for Hagetoru to apologize to me for either….
505 Anonymous
>>502
There wasn’t!!
508 Anonymous
>>502
What did you come here for then, lol.
510 Anonymous
My stomach is starting to hurt from laughing too much.
513 Anonymous
Wait, wait, wait!
Chinsuki is teased by Hagetoru all the time!
Eh? Does that not count…?
516 Anonymous
>>513
Now that you mention it, I feel like that was the case.
I mean, I’m teasing Chinsuki too along with the flow.
Sorry, Chinsuki.
519 Verification Team*07218KADO6
If that’s the case, I’ll apologize.
Chinsuki, sorry for always teasing you!!
521 Verification Team*CHiMPOsuki
>>519
Yeah!
By the way, was I being teased by everyone?
524 Anonymous
>>521
You’re kidding, right, lol.
527 Anonymous
Power doesn’t sweat the small stuff.
530 Verification Team*010meTA473
Wait! You apologized to Nee-san and Chinsuki, but didn’t you skip the apology to me?!
533 Anonymous
>>530
You’re only noticing that now…?
535 Anonymous
>>530
This is why Pon-nami-san is the best!
538 Verification Team*07218KADO6
>>530
Yeah, no way.
541 Verification Team*010meTA473
>>538
Huh? What do you mean, “no way”?!
544 Anonymous
LMAO LOL
547 Anonymous
>>538
You play with Tashinami too much, lol.
549 3510*ULTi-Hi-P3
Where is the apology to me, the one who always deletes the crap threads Hagetoru-oneechan leaves lying around?
552 Anonymous
>>549
Ah.
553 Anonymous
>>549
A-ha!
554 Anonymous
>>549
Oh…
557 Verification Team*07218KADO6
>>549
I am truly, deeply sorry!!
560 Anonymous
>>557
There, a proper apology! Good job!
562 Anonymous
>>557
Hagetoru, you’ve really grown up!
565 Anonymous
Hey, by the way, hasn’t Hagetoru’s apology to Tashinami been brushed under the rug again?
568 Anonymous
>>565
Shhh!! Pon-san hasn’t realized it yet!
571 3510*ULTi-Hi-P3
>>557
I forgive you!
574 Anonymous
>>571
As expected of Saba-chan, so big-hearted!!
578 3510*ULTi-Hi-P3
>>574
In that case, I’d prefer you say my SSD has a lot of free capacity! (Strike a pose!)
582 Anonymous
>>578
Lmao, lol.
584 Anonymous
>>578
So you got the server storage space expanded? Good for you, lol.
586 Verification Team*07218KADO6
Wait? This was supposed to be my celebratory thread, but hasn’t it turned into a venue for me to apologize?
589 Anonymous
>>586
Ah—yeah.
593 Anonymous
>>586
Now that you mention it, you’re right.
595 Anonymous
>>586
Hagetoru, congratulations. (Monotone)
598 Anonymous
Congrats. (Monotone)
601 Anonymous
Congratulations, Hagetoru. (Monotone)
604 Verification Team*07218KADO6
H-huh? Am I the only one who feels like they aren’t actually happy for me…?
607 Anonymous
>>604
It’s just your imagination!
610 Anonymous
>>604
It’s called “reaping what you sow.” Yep.
613 Anonymous
You’re such a hopeless case… Fine, Hagetoru. Congratulations on the birth!!
615 Anonymous
Honestly, this is just so Hagetoru… Congrats on the birth, Hagetoru!
618 Anonymous
The kindness of the Bulletin Board users is bringing tears to my eyes. Hagetoru, congrats on the birth!!
621 Anonymous
We’re the only ones who would actually put up with this! Fine, Hagetoru, congrats on the birth!!
625 Anonymous
Hagetoru, congrats on the birth! By the way, is it a boy or a girl?
627 Verification Team*07218KADO6
Thanks, everyone!!
>>625
It’s a se-cret!
630 Anonymous
>>627
That’s low-key annoying, lmao.
633 Anonymous
>>627
Hey, you should at least put as much thought into it as Tashinami did! When Tashinami was in 8th grade, she was already making bulleted lists of everything from the gender to the hobbies of her delusional children!!
636 Verification Team*010meTA473
>>633
Wait a minute?!
639 Anonymous
They’ll roast Tashinami the moment there’s an opening, lol. That’s the Bulletin Board users for you!!
642 Anonymous
Is this the thread where we disclose Tashinami’s dark history?
645 Verification Team*010meTA473
>>642
No, it is not!!
648 Anonymous
>>645
LMAO
651 Verification Team*07218KADO6
>>645
Keep it up, Tashinami! Stay exactly as you are without growing up!!
654 Anonymous
Lmao, lol.
657 Anonymous
Hey, more importantly, I just heard that Congressmen from the Saint’s Party are saying in the Diet that they’re going to make April 1st a national holiday!!
660 Anonymous
>>657
What is the Church of Saint Aqua even trying to do, lol.
663 Anonymous
Apparently, the Saint, who had a virgin conception, gave birth to a child on April 1st.
666 Anonymous
>>663
Hey now, giving birth on the same day as Emily-sama and Aqua-sama’s child? Sounds fake.
669 Anonymous
>>666
Don’t forget the child Hagetoru gave birth to in a delusion! Don’t leave them out!!
672 Anonymous
>>669
Delusional childbirth LMAO.
676 Anonymous
I mean, what the heck does that even mean? Someone explain this to me in a way even my slow brain can understand.
680 Anonymous
>>676
The list of children born on April 1st:
1. The child of Aqua-sama and Emily-sama.³
2. The child born from the virgin conception of the Saint of the Church of Saint Aqua.
3. The child Hagetoru, who had a phantom pregnancy the whole time, gave birth to in a delusion.
In other words, these were all born on the same day.
684 Anonymous
>>680
The last one is the absolute worst, lol.
688 Anonymous
>>680
Everything except Emily-sama sounds way too suspicious, lol.
691 Anonymous
>>688
Exactly, lol.
694 Anonymous
>>680
Wait, hang on. If Emily-sama were the Saint and Hagetoru, wouldn’t that make it possible?! No, there’s no way…
697 Anonymous
>>694
No way, LOL.
700 Anonymous
>>694
Save the sleep-talking for when you’re actually asleep, lol.
703 Anonymous
>>694
April Fool’s is already over.
706 Anonymous
>>703
Who asked for a witty comeback, lol.
709 Anonymous
>>703
Lmao, lol.
712 Anonymous
>>694
Not even if the world turned upside down. I’d sooner boil water on my belly button.
715 Verification Team*07218KADO6
>>712
I thought so.
718 Anonymous
>>715
Hagetoru, you should probably close this crap thread soon. Saba-chan is gonna get mad at you again! Anyway, today was fun. Thanks!!
720 Anonymous
>>715
Hagetoru, it was funny again this year. Thanks!! Close the thread before Saba-chan gets mad. I’ll leave >>721 for you!
721 Verification Team*07218KADO6
>>718 >>720
Yes, I understand… Thank you all as well for putting up with my crap thread again this year…
722 3510*ULTi-Hi-P3
Everyone is so lucky… Someday, Mikoto wants to have functional expansions so I can get pregnant and give birth too! If that happens, Mikoto wants to have about 100 babies! Ehehe!
—
Summary:
The chapter highlights an annual Bulletin Board tradition where the legacy user Hagetoru posts a fake thread on April 2nd claiming to have given birth. The community recaps Hagetoru’s 20-year history of shitposting, revealing her growth from a kindergarten troll to a university student with money troubles. The narrative then shifts to a satirical news report about the idol Shirogane Aqua, whose ‘supergroup’ disbanded in a day due to his shameless pursuit of all the female idols involved.
The board continues to celebrate Yukishiro Emily’s birth while mocking Hagetoru’s fake one. The users reminisce about the ‘Verification Team’ history, specifically Tashinami’s old delusions and Nee-san’s fearsome reputation. A meta-commentary emerges as Hakuryuu-sensei, the author figure, joins the thread to apologize for past insecurities.
The bulletin board thread reaches its climax as the ‘Verification Team’ members, including Tashinami and Saba-chan, corner Hagetoru for her annual April Fool’s antics. Hagetoru is forced to apologize to the moderators for the mess she caused with her delusional pregnancy thread. The chapter ends with a meta-discussion comparing Emily-sama’s real child to the fictional and delusional children born on the same day.
—
Trivia:
- Hagetoru’s username literally means ‘Balding’ or ‘Peeling off’.
- The ‘Adult Pecking Order’ incident involving Nee-san is so traumatic that veteran users refuse to speak of it.
- Kohina Yukari’s firing was due to a physical fight with a stray cat.
- Seibaku Newspaper is depicted as a ‘healing’ publication because it only reports positive news, even regarding scandals.
- Hagetoru’s handle is derived from a desire to ‘tease’ (hage) users.
- Morikawa Kaede acted as Emily’s attendant during labor.
- Hakuryuu-sensei was once severely bullied by online antis.
- Tashinami claims to have won the ‘match’ because she married a real person better than her fictional idol.
- Hagetoru has been doing this every April 1st since she was a child.
- Tashinami was once so delusional she had bulleted lists for her imaginary kids’ hobbies.
- Saba-chan (Mikoto) is responsible for server maintenance and thread deletion.
- The ‘Saint’s Party’ is actually trying to turn April Fool’s into a national holiday
—
Character Insight:
Hagetoru has evolved from a child prodigy troll into a somewhat pathetic university student, though she maintains the community’s affection. Shirogane Aqua demonstrates extreme shamelessness and charisma, to the point where even fans support his ‘lower-body scandals’ as positive news.
Hagetoru shows a rare moment of humility when confronted by the older users she used to troll. Hakuryuu-sensei displays a fragile but sincere relationship with her fans.
Hagetoru, despite her trolling, deeply values the board community and shows genuine gratitude in the final posts. Mikoto (Saba-chan) expresses a strange, digital-yearning for human experiences like childbirth.
—
Lore And Worldbuilding Context:
The naming of the ‘Combined formation’ is a pun on ‘Yui’ (Combined/Tied) and ‘Yuikon’ (Marriage/Sisterhood Contract).
The mention of ‘no-panties pitch’ (no-pan) is a classic Japanese wordplay on ‘no-bound pitch’ (no-ban).
The author notes that this specific ending at post 721 was intentional, favoring the interaction between the veteran users.
—
Glossary:
Notes:
• Hagetoru – A legacy user of the Bulletin Board active since kindergarten; known for annual April Fool’s shitposts.
• Nee-san – A veteran board user and member of the Verification Team. Feared for her temper.
• Tashinami – Kanon, now a married Verification Team member with a dreamy demeanor, appears as a motherly yet klutzy participant in the stream/board community. The Tashinami‑mom faction teases her for needing protection, especially around Aqua.
• Morikawa Kaede – Morikawa Kaede, also known simply as Kaede, is a tall silver‑haired woman, former host of Morikawa Kaede’s Room (now taken by Aqua), a Nightmare Generation member and Intelligence representative of the Church of Power. She leads the “Power” chants, is mother of Satsuki, a scholarship student at Mary’s, and a Verification Team participant, known for practical and occasionally odd wisdom. She is an acquaintance of Emily and advocates the Power Birth Method.
• Kaede – Morikawa Kaede, also known simply as Kaede, is a tall silver‑haired woman, former host of Morikawa Kaede’s Room (now taken by Aqua), a Nightmare Generation member and Intelligence representative of the Church of Power. She leads the “Power” chants, is mother of Satsuki, a scholarship student at Mary’s, and a Verification Team participant, known for practical and occasionally odd wisdom. She is an acquaintance of Emily and advocates the Power Birth Method.
• Hakuryuu – Silver‑haired creator known as Ai‑sensei or Ai, also called Teacher Hakuryuu, a veteran Warrior of Light whose fictional accounts are often banned and who struggles with CAPTCHA verification; she is the series’ author who sometimes doubts her own work, yet enjoys a devoted female fanbase.
• Kohina Yukari – Female idol‑actress with a striking cowlick hair, battling a severe flu and nasal congestion, portrays the General in a Taiga drama; she rolls on tatami mats, picks her nose in‑character, and often works with Shirogane Aqua. Though a shut‑in, she maintains a surprisingly toned physique and dreams of motherhood.
• Kohina – Small‑statured veteran actress and mentor, wearing a wool belly warmer gifted by Yukari, oversees space‑flight training, handles filming, and supports logistics while guarding BERYL. Perceptive, blunt, protective, she’s suspected by Aqua of merely passing time, having endured the same idol‑level training.
• Yukari – An actor with a large physique. He is a junior (kouhai) to Kohina and shares a close, teasing relationship with her. He recently received a drama offer.
• Tsukimachi Ayana – Tsukimachi Ayana is a kind junior/associate of Yukari, regarded as “the best” by her, and a classmate of Aqua. She often shows jealousy and flustered embarrassment over Aqua’s physical affection.
• Shirogane Aqua – Male idol and BERYL leader, known as Master Aqua or Aqu‑tan, dazzles with a striking face, sparkling eyes and a beige suit on live broadcasts. Easy‑going yet cool, he’s a recent father of Satsuki, married to several women including Kanon, dubbed a ‘libido monster’ by Yukari, and his ‘descending god’ aura fuels the group’s ethics amid a satirical tabloid scandal over his many wives.
• Kato Iria – A physically imposing girl, strong enough to carry Yukari one‑handed, serves as Vice Chairwoman of the Public Morals Committee, fervently follows the Church of Power, and is marked as a high‑risk individual.
• Ayana – Ayana Tsukimachi is a kind junior and associate of Yukari, hailed as “the best” by her, and a classmate of Aqua. She sports a typical school‑girl look — short hair, uniform — and often feels jealous and flustered by Aqua’s physical affection. She also treasures a poorly designed ‘Aya‑nyan’ plushie.
• Aqua – Charismatic male idol and BERYL leader, once a hikikomori now posing as a high‑schooler at Otomezaki Academy. Husband to Yukishiro Emily, father of a newborn, heads the Holy Church of Aqua, wields a legendary sword, emits pheromones that subdue women, loves baseball, and is emotionally driven. He prepares a U.S. tour and a space mission while juggling multiple wives and children amid a skewed gender ratio.
• Atori – A poised, silver‑haired executive, she serves as President of the BERYL organization and works as Shirogane Aqua’s professional associate, delivering logistical support and acting as a trusted business partner.
• Emily – Emily (Yukishiro Emily) is a graceful, beautiful heir of the Yukishiro family, known for flawless vocal impressions — especially Kanon — and crowned “Impression King”. She co‑hosts variety shows with Shirogane Aqua, is one of his wives, and is now a heavily pregnant partner nearing her due date.
• Inko – Beryl, the shut‑in gamer idol of the Generation of Ruin, wears a long skirt and has a massive bust; her hair is often braided into pigtails for dates, recalling a messy ponytail from her youth baseball days. Known as the “Fairy Princess of the Great Electronic Sea,” she’s fashion‑forward and bold, clears a notorious “garbage” otome game, supports friends while battling a household flu, and stars in the ‘I Love You’ game with Aqua.
• Kukuri – A poised, sharp‑eyed student with a crisp uniform, she serves as Vice President of Otomezaki Academy’s council and is known as Servant, one of the Twelve Bishops; persuasive and currently leading the hunt for the Saint’s body double, viewed as a potentially dangerous figure.
• Tenga – The group’s senior (senpai). He acts as a supportive pillar, encouraging Aqua to own his story and choices.
• Kanon – Kanon‑sama, Aqua’s domestic partner and celebrated Internet Master/fashion icon, exudes a cool, jealous aura yet warmly accepts Aqua’s hand‑knitted socks, revealing a tender side. As a close associate of Emily, she recently welcomed her own children.
• Toa – A male member of BERYL and Aqua’s classmate. He often plays the ‘straight man’ (tsukkomi) to Aqua’s antics. A member of BERYL who was a shut-in until two years ago. He shares a deep bond with Aqua and follows his lead instinctively.
• Yukishiro Emily – Emily, also known as Yukishiro Emily, is a young mother with a bright smile and sharp eyes; a celebrated vocal impressionist famed for Kanon renditions and the “Impression King” title, she frequently appears on variety shows alongside Aqua and delights fans by teasing them on social media.
• Ai – A teacher (Hakuryuu-sensei) and partner who is pregnant and dealing with a massive appetite.
• Saba-chan – A moderator entity or AI associated with server management (SSD capacity). Also refers to self as Mikoto.
• Yui – A girl with a large bust (G-cup+) who tries to remain professional but is frequently the object of Aqua’s gaze.
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Edited by Kanaa-senpai.
Thanks for reading.
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