Male Idol V13c80

Volume 13 Chapter 80 Shirogane Aqua, The Culinary Madman

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Edited by: Kanaa-senpai

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 A girl’s homemade cooking, it’s a sweet-sounding phrase.

 I heard that I could eat a girl’s homemade cooking on a TV show, and I received an offer from a certain program.

 Its title is, The Culinary Madman.

 Does it seem like the title is similar to a show I used to watch in my past life? Maybe it’s just my imagination.

 The other one had Professional Chef on it, and I’m sure this one will have girls who are masters of cooking too.

 Ako-san and Kotono were making faces like “Are you really going to take that job?” But there are no two words in Shirogane Aqua.

 I’m going to be on this show and indulge in girls’ homemade cooking!!

 ”Then, today’s judge is this person, Shirogane Aqua-san!!”

 ”Nice to meet you!!”

 I sit down in the judge’s seat with a big smile on my face.

 Whoa, it’s the best that I’m the only judge I was right to come hungry for this show.

 ”Then, let’s introduce the culinary madmen who will cook for Shirogane Aqua-san!!”

 Wow, I’m so excited!

 I gaze at the door where the madmen will appear, my heart racing with anticipation.

 ”First, let’s introduce our first culinary madman!!”

 As the host calls out, the doors slowly open to the left and right, and smoke bursts out with a “pshew” sound.

 Inside the smoke, a light shines, revealing the silhouette of a woman.

 Whoa, the voltage in the audience and my own voltage are skyrocketing!

 ”‘Huh? Cooking? I’m not the one who’s going to cook, it’s you!’ She’s a greater chef than the customers, I mean, a super-great chef. she’ll kill customers with her cooking’ — Murder Chef, Kohina Yukariii!!”

 What?! I’m frozen in shock, staring at Kohina-senpai who appeared with a smug face.

 Wait, wait, this person can’t be in the same category as Professional Chef, right?!

 What’s more, this person is the one who tried to kill me with cooking!! Or rather, did “culinary madman” mean that kind of person?!

 ”What? You have a problem with me cooking for you?”

 ”Whoa, don’t come near me with that knife! I’m not kidding, I’ll really get hurt!!”

 I stood up from my seat and took a step back, leaning against the wall.

 The audience burst into laughter at the sight.

 No, no, everyone, this isn’t a laughing matter!

 ”Then let’s get back to our senses and introduce the second madman!!”

 No, no, don’t ignore me and just keep going like normal!!

 The doors opened again, and smoke burst out from both sides with a “Whoosh” sound.

 ”Cooking? What’s that? Is it about instant ramen?’ She caused a fire while broadcasting, and the fire department had to come, and it even made the evening news — the hopeless chef, internet comedian Lazu-samaaa!!”

 Wait a minute, did all that happen while I was busy?! I’ve never heard of it before

 And what’s with this “internet comedian” thing? There’s no such ridiculous job!

 ”Uh, Lazuli… did you really make the evening news?”

 ”Yeah.”

 No, no, no! I’m not praising you, and that’s not something to be proud of!

 Uh-huh. Oh brother is feeling like I’m on the news, but if it’s bad news, that’s no good!

 Haa… I hope Renata-san is reporting it properly. I’m getting anxious. I’ll ask later…

 ”Next, we have the introduction of the third madman.”

 ”Please, please, please, bring in a decent chef!!”

 The audience laughed at me, who was clasping my hands together in prayer.

 Ugh… it seems I was the only one who didn’t know what kind of program this was.

 So that’s why Ako-san and Kotono were making those weird faces!! Grrr…

 ”‘I, myself, have never cooked before. Ohohohoh! My cooking skills are completely 0!!’ Today, she, a real princess, will make her first handmade dish, and it will be a memorable one! She is Kukuri-sama, the world’s most noble chef!!”

 Kukuri-chan appeared, wearing a chef’s coat.

 Yes! At least the unknow is still somewhat reliable.

 Kukuri-chan is the type who can do anything perfectly, so I’m sure she’ll be fine with cooking too!

 ”Good luck, Kukuri-chan!”

 ”Yes!”

 When I cheered Kukuri-chan, I got a response from Kohina-senpai that was like a bombshell.

 There! Shut up! Be quiet!!

 ”The last madman has a cooking show, and it’s that person!”

 ”Ahhhhhh!!”

 I was so excited that I struck a guts pose.

 There’s no way someone who has a cooking show can be bad at cooking, right?!

 ”It’s all about power! The power that solves everything!! The physical cooking that transcends humanity, born from the gorilla power of the Internet Sommelier, Morikawa Kaede!!”

 As the audience erupted in cheers, I fell to my knees when I saw Kaede appear with her hands raised.

 What’s an Internet Sommelier? Is it a relative of an Internet comedian?

 ”Morikawa Kaede has finally come to reveal her daily cooking skills!”

 ”Please, I’m begging you!!”

 I clasped my hands together in a praying pose.

 If it’s Kaede, there’s a chance, and I believe in her!!

 ”Shirogane Aqua-san is really desperate, isn’t he?”

 ”That’s right, he’s desperate! His life is on the line!!”

 The audience burst into laughter again.

 Ugh, I wish I could be sitting over there, laughing my head off!!

 ”The theme for today is a dish that Shirogane Aqua-sama would like All you madman, start cooking right away!!”

 Please, please, please! Don’t waste the ingredients, and everyone, do your best!!

 I prayed while watching everyone’s reactions.

 ”Then, let’s start by interviewing this person first. What will Chef Kohina make?”

 ”Korokke, of course. It’s obvious if you look at the ingredients!”

 I checked the ingredients Kohina-senpai had laid out on the kitchen counter.

 It’s actually wheat flour, not potato starch, but… well, that’s okay!

 It’s just a small mistake.

 ”Is it because Aqua-sama likes it?”

 ”What? It’s obvious I want to eat it myself!”

 That’s so like Kohina-senpai.

 In front of this person, the theme doesn’t matter. It’s all about true freedom.

 ”Whoa! It looks like Morikawa-san has started cutting the ingredients Fast!”

 It’s not a speed competition, you know Kotono and Announcer Onidzuka said it too, but what’s important for cooking is to stay calm.

 ”Look, it’s amazing speed!”

 No, no, no! You’re peeling too much, and there’s almost nothing left inside!!

 So wasteful!!”

 ”What are you making?”

 ”Can’t you see? It’s Nikujaga, of course!”

 The Nikujaga ingredients are so tiny!!

 At that size, they’ll dissolve while cooking and disappear!

 Is it okay? I might end up eating dissolved Nikujaga…

 ”Oh no, the fire is getting bigger over there!”

 ”Ah no!”

 Is it okay?! I remember Lazuli, who caused a small fire in the past, was cooking on that side.

 I stand up from my seat, grab the nearby fire extinguisher, and get ready to put out the fire.

 ”Lazu-sama, are you okay?”

 ”Ow, ow, I got a bit carried away and tried to flambe, and my bangs got burned…”

 I can’t believe someone who can’t even cook properly is trying to flambe.

 I’m at a loss for words about Lazuli’s cooking.

 ”What’s with the flambe? Isn’t it too early?”

 ”It’s just steak, so I’ll just cut and grill it! I’m a genius, after all!!”

 I give Lazuli a high-5 at lightning speed.

 Good job! If it’s just grilling steak, anyone can do it. Even if you fail, it’ll just get burned.

 That’s still manageable. You’re a true genius, after all!!

 ”That was a great insight. Let’s see how Kukuri-sama is doing. Kukuri-sama, how’s your first cooking attempt?”

 ”Yes… it’s tough, but I’m doing my best.”

 Ahh… ahh! So healing Kukuri-chan, wearing an apron, is like a beautiful lily blooming in a desolate, barren land.

 ”What are you making?”

 ”I’m making a hamburger. I thought Aqua-sama might like hamburgers…”

 Amazing, Kukuri-chan. You’ve really thought about what I like and made it.

 Your cooking skills are still rough, but it’s great to see you trying your best, one dish at a time.

 Ah, Camera-san, just focus on that spot, okay? The rest is unnecessary, right?

 ”Whoa, the oil splattered!”

 I quickly grab a fire extinguisher and stand up.

 It seems Kohina-senpai tried to fry a korokke and the oil splattered.

 Phew, it’s good nothing serious happened. If the studio burned down, it wouldn’t be funny at all.

 ”Is this really okay?”

 ”Yes, of course, the staff and I, as well as all the audience members, signed a waiver and consent form before participating.”

 Huh?! I don’t remember signing anything like that!

 Wait, does that mean I’m the only one who can escape safely with a heat-resistant powered suit like the Heavens Sword type?! Ah, it’s true…

 I mean, is it really necessary to take such risks for this program?!

 If things get too dangerous, I’ll definitely stop it, I decide in my heart.

 ”It’s complete!!”

 ”Oh, it seems Chef Lazuli has finished!!”

 Lazuli, wearing a chef’s hat, places a plate with a steak on my table.

 Yeah… just as I imagined, it’s a bit, no, quite burnt.

 ”Then, let’s have Shirogane Aqua-san, our judge, try it while it’s still warm.”

 ”Yes…”

 I cut into the steak with a fork and take a bite.

 Yeah, the meat itself is good quality, I can tell.

 But even good meat becomes the same when it’s burnt.

 ”Lazuli.”

 ”Y-yes!!”

 Lazuli looks at me with a tense expression.

 ”You did well not to cause a fire and cook it properly. It’s great that the heat went through to the center.”

 ”Hehe, thanks!!”

 I’m the type who praises first and then gives feedback to improve.

 I think it’s better to encourage and praise to help her grow.

 ”Only, I think it would’ve been better if you hadn’t overcooked it at the end. And from next time, let’s season with salt before cooking and pepper after cooking. Steak can be delicious even without salt and pepper, but if you’re using cheap meat, it’s better to season it beforehand, I think.”

 ”Yeah, got it.”

 Yeah, Lazuli is a good kid.

 I gently pat Lazuli on the head. There might be a lot of things to point out, like the steak sauce and stuff, but more importantly, I think it’s crucial to cook the meat beautifully.

 I hope this will help improve her cooking skills a bit.

 ”I did it!!”

 ”Whoa, it looks like Kukuri-sama’s dish is complete!!”

 Kukuri-chan places the completed hamburger on my table.

 Wow! the presentation is perfect The hamburger plate Kukuri-chan made has broccoli, carrots, and corn on it.

 ”How… is it?”

 ”The presentation is perfect. It’s great that you thought about the colors!”

 This looks promising. I cut into the hamburger.

 Hmm, it looks like the inside is still red… it’s undercooked!

 ”What’s wrong, Judge Shirogane Aqua-san?”

 ”This is undercooked.”

 The audience lets out a disappointed sigh.

 Of course, we can’t eat undercooked meat, or we might get food poisoning.

 Kukuri-chan, who had worked so hard, looks disappointed too.

 Okay I stand up from my seat, holding the hamburger plate, and head towards the microwave.

 ”It’s okay, everyone. Don’t give up just because it’s undercooked. We can just use the microwave to fix it.”

 I take the undercooked hamburger and put it on a separate plate, cover it with a wrap, and microwave it.

 Okay, this should heat it up nicely.

 I put the hamburger back on its original plate and return to my seat.

 ”See, now the red part is cooked too.”

 ”Ah, that’s true.”

 I take a bite of the hamburger and bring it into my mouth.

 Hmph, hmm, it’s hot, but it’s really delicious.

 ”Yeah, it’s delicious. The balance of the sauce, Worcestershire and ketchup is great, isn’t it? It’s not perfect since it’s a bit burnt, but for a first-time homemade dish, this is impressive. Keep up the good work from now on!”

 ”Yeah, I did it!”

 Kukuri-chan makes a small fist with both hands and does a little jump.

 It’s cute when Kukuri-chan, who’s usually cool, shows a childish smile like that.

 In fact, I’ve heard that it’s increasing her fanbase.

 Well, that’s good, I guess. Can I go home now?

 ”I did it too!!”

 Ugh, it’s finally complete…

 Kohina-senpai puts a plate with a korokke on my table with a smug face.

 Yeah, I knew it. I take the cabbage that’s not chopped up and show it to the audience.

 ”What’s with that?! Do you have a problem?!”

 ”No, not at all. I just thought it was as expected.”

 Huh? Is that a little bit of blood on the cabbage…?

 When I look at Kohina-senpai’s hand, she quickly hides her finger with a band-aid on it.

 Hey?!

 ”Hey, the main dish is the korokke, so eat the korokke!!”

 ”I know, I know.”

 I cut the korokke in half.

 Wow, there’s nothing inside. It’s just a potato korokke.

 ”In my house… my grandma used to make korokke with just potatoes, is that a problem?”

 ”No, I like it too. Korokke with just potatoes.”

 When I was at the orphanage, Nemoto-sensei… or big sister used to make it for me.

 It brings back nostalgic feelings.

 ”Then, Shirogane Aqua-san, please judge it!”

 ”Okay.”

 I take a bite of the korokke I cut.

 ”Ugh.”

 Kohina-senpai and everyone else looks at me with concern.

 I naturally wipe away the tears that came out with my hand.

 Ugh, I don’t think I’m going to be reminded of my past life in Kohina-senpai’s Korokke….

 ”What’s wrong?”

 ”I’m moved. The fact that Kohina-senpai can make korokke is just…”

 I’m trying to hide my tears, but I’m telling the truth.

 To be honest, Kohina-senpai’s cooking skills are hopeless.

 But the fact that she managed to make edible croquettes is amazing.

 ”To be honest, the coating on these korokkes is cracked, but at this point, it doesn’t matter.”

 ”You’re saying it doesn’t matter, but you’re still complaining!”

 Geez! I was trying to praise her, but this person is something else!!

 ”The potatoes were cooked just right, and the flavor was great too.”

 ”Why don’t you just be honest from the start?”

 I was about to say that, but Kohina-senpai cut in This person is really something…

 ”Well, it’s down to Morikawa Chef now.”

 Kaede, are you okay?

 Wait, didn’t Kaede make Nikujaga?

 This smell is weird…

 ”It’s done!”

 Kaede puts the finished curry on my table.

 ”Hey, what about the Nikujaga?”

 ”I made it too small and it was a failure, so I switched to curry halfway through!!”

 I see, this is physical cooking.

 As expected, power is everything.

 ”Then, judge Shirogane Aqua, please do the final judging.”

 ”Yes!”

 I take a bite of the curry Kaede made.

 Mmm, it’s delicious. I mean, it’s impossible to make curry taste bad unless you put something really weird in it.

 ”How is it?”

 ”It’s normally delicious. This is the winner.”

 ”Yes!”

 Kaede raises both hands in joy.

 Whoa, don’t get too excited and break things around you!

 ”Hey, wait! You cried and all, but that’s not my win?”

 ”No, I was told to judge based on taste alone beforehand.”

 At the point where I, the examiner, revised Kukuri-chan’s dish, it was already out of the competition. In reality, it was a 2-way battle between Kohina-senpai’s Korokke and Kaede’s curry.

 Kohina-senpai’s Korokke had a nostalgic correction, and, well, if you remove that correction, it was a bit of a letdown.

 On the other hand, Kaede’s curry was perfectly normal. I mean, there are curry shops that completely dissolve the flavor of their ingredients, right?

 ”And so, the winner is Morikawa Kaede, the chef… or rather, the Vermont Curry sponsored by our program’s sponsor, Home!”

 ”What the heck?!”

 Everyone on the show performed a dramatic reaction to my final words.

 Hey, hey, is everyone okay? Be careful not to get hurt if you actually fall over.

 Of course, the audience was in stitches over the final punchline and Kohina-senpai’s quick wit.

 As I held up the Curry Roux and smiled for the camera, the program ended with the announcement, “This program was brought to you by Home’s Vermont Curry.”

 ”Wait a minute, you!!”

 Oh no! If I get tangled up with Kohina-senpai, it’s going to be a pain. I quickly took off my apron and made a run for it out of the studio.

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Edited by Kanaa-senpai.
Thanks for reading.