Male Idol V13c176

Volume 13 Chapter 176 Ayana Tsukimachi, Humiliated At The Center Of The World

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Edited by: Kanaa-senpai

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 ”Ayana, are you still having doubts?”

 Even though I had made up my mind to enter this room, everything had been seen through by Aqua.

 I still can’t stand proudly next to Aqua, and I’m really wondering if it’s okay to proceed with this relationship like this.

 That guilt weighs heavy on my heart.

 ”It’s just like you, Ayana. If you win against me, you’re probably thinking you have to beat Kohina-senpai or Mommy Mikuni before you can confess, right?”

 Aqua is absolutely right.

 And so, I’ve been stifling the growing feelings of love inside me, dragging out the moment to find an answer for this relationship.

 If I take a step forward here and become honest, I might change something important that exists within me.

 ’Mom, I want to become an actress on TV.’

 ’What?’

 Pleading with my surprised mom, I auditioned for a role as a child actor.

 Fortunately, I was accepted at the audition, and the first drama I appeared in became a hit, making me popular.

 And so, I went through my days, taking on job after job.

 At that time, I thought everything was going smoothly….

 ’That kid is so cocky for a child actor.’

 ’Just because she can do well, she think she’s all that, huh?’

 ’I’m going to refuse to act with her.’

 Looking back now, I think the trigger was when I rejected an invitation from a boy I didn’t really like or know well.

 At that time, the male acting industry had many members from noble families, which created strong connections, so if one man declared an actor unfit to collaborate, it was common for them to be expelled from the industry entirely.

 Is everything I’ve worked so hard for going to end like this?

 I felt despair about my future, this world, and above all, about being a man.

 ’Hey, Ayana-chan. If you’d like, would you consider doing idol activities with me? I know it might be different from acting, but it could be fun!’

 My future was easily cut off, but my feelings for acting were not that easy to sever.

 During that time, the only person who reached out to me, who was being shut out from the industry, was Maron-senpai.

 I had never thought about becoming an idol before, but since there was still a chance to stay connected to the acting world I loved, I took that hand.

 The agency that belonged to eau de Cologne was small, and I remember that at the time, it was just a room in an apartment.

 ’Mom will help Ayana-chan with her dreams!’

 Mom later quit her job and became my manager, but at the time, she volunteered as a staff member at eau de Cologne while still working elsewhere.

 We started with street performances, then gradually increased our media exposure through events in shopping districts and volunteering at children’s homes, moving forward together.

 In the world of music, unlike in the acting world, there are many jobs that an artist can do solo, and I think it was significant that if you succeed online, you won’t have to deal with any interference.

 It was on such a day that I began to consider continuing as an idol.

 ’Hmm. So you’re Tsukimachi Ayana. If you still want to act, why don’t you join me in my upcoming drama?’

 Yukari-senpai… actress Kohina Yukari was someone walking the path I wanted for my future.

 Unlike me, who was rejected by male co-stars, she managed to silence them with her talent by choosing to not work with men herself, and I couldn’t help but admire her.

 Many actors respect her for her ability and talent to succeed without men… and I couldn’t help but feel a bit jealous too.

 ’However, you’ll need to co-star with a certain man. Do you think you can handle that?’

 I remember my heart racing at Yukari-senpai’s words.

 Even though I knew the man I’d be co-starring with was different from the one who had banished me from the industry, it wasn’t something I could easily process within myself.

 But… from the moment I first met Aqua, he was different from the men I had known.

 ’Please! Let me try again!!’

 ’I want to get better!’

 ’It’s not because I’m a guy. I want everyone to criticize me just like any other actor!’

 ’I don’t want the last impression of me to be the bad version that person saw. I want to be the best Shirogane Aqua that anyone sees at any time.’

 I thought about how stoic he was.

 He won’t make any compromises in what he does, nor will he indulges himself with excuses about how it’s impossible.

 Thinking about how men are really made me realize how foolish I was, and I became curious about what kind of person Shirogane Aqua truly is.

 ’O-oi, Shintaro, what do you think about that shake just now?’

 ’Shake? Was there an earthquake? I didn’t feel anything…’

 Yeah, Aqua was just too different from other guys.

 When I realized that the current tremor was Kurogami-san’s breasts, I almost laughed because it was just too ridiculous.

 A boy who is gentle enough to make all girls melt and knows how to pamper them.

 But, just a little… no, he has quite a lewd side, but even that I thought was cute.

 Hehe, I see… thinking about it, it seems I was just being stubborn after all.

 ”Ayana, you can still compete even if you’re dating or married, right?”

 Aqua’s words hit me.

 Indeed, even if I were to date Aqua, our relationship as actors and idols would remain unchanged.

 We will continue to be good friends and good rivals.

 I thought that our relationship that we had built would not be broken at all.

 ”Look, I knew it, you have that ‘I just realized it’ look on your face.”

 ”B-but… I couldn’t help but think that I don’t want to lose.”

 You know I’m competitive, right? Aqua knows that well.

 ”I’m fine with losing though.”

 ”Eh! What is that? Is that what you call being relaxed?”

 Prompted by Aqua, I sit down on the bed.

 At first, I vaguely thought I wanted to be the strongest and best idol… But now, I feel like it’s enough if I can make even one person smile by watching me.

 That’s so like Aqua.

 He chose his own path, transcending the dimension of winning or losing.

 ”Hey, Ayana, what do you want to be?”

 ”I… I want to be someone who can encourage those who are working hard. As an idol and as an actress too.”

 I’m different from Yukari-senpai and Aqua.

 When I imagined the image of who I wanted to be, I pictured a girl suffering just like me.

 ’Ayana-chan, thank you! I’ll also try not to give up!’

 ’Seeing you work hard, Ayana-chan, made me want to work hard too!’

 ’Don’t give up on returning to being an actress! I won’t give up either!’

 ’I’m cheering for you as an idol and as an actor. Because I like you, Ayana-chan!’

 Remembering the cheers of the fans who had suffered like me, my heart grew warm.

 When I realized that there were kids who had been encouraged by what I’ve done, the answer was clear.

 ”See, even if we’re dating, it’ll be a good stimulus for both of us, right?”

 ”…Yeah.”

 Ah… yeah.

 I guess this is my loss.

 I wondered why we were even having this competition in the first place.

 I feel embarrassed by my stubbornness.

 ”Ayana, I want you to be my girlfriend again. With the intention of marriage.”

 ”It’s fine. But, is it with the intention of marriage?”

 By the way, I remember he said before that he faces every girl he fall in love with, intending to marry her.

 As I was thinking about that, Aqua stole a kiss from me.

 ”Nn”

 The heat of Aqua’s lips left on mine heats up my body.

 ”Nn…”

 The second kiss was longer than the first.

 The depths of my body get restless and fidgety, making me feel uneasy.

 ”Ah…”

 My body, which was pushed down on the bed, becomes tense again with tension.

 Because I stopped thinking about unnecessary clutter, my thoughts focus on the fact that we’re about to have se*.

 Aqua shows me the condom he picked up.

 I have to choose it properly here.

 ”W-Without… Everyone said they preferred it that way.”

 ”Hmm, Ayana, were you pretending not to be interested but actually listening to what everyone was saying?”

 My face heats up at Aqua’s words.

 Until now, I didn’t have such thoughts because I had an aversion to men.

 But when I met Aqua, that lid came off and went somewhere.

 So, like the other girls, I’m interested, and I secretly listen to what everyone is talking about.

 ”Ayana, do you know why the sun rises again?”

 ”What’s that all of a sudden?”

 ”It’s because the sun is always chasing the moon’s butt.”

 ”Hmph, you’re just saying that to touch my butt, aren’t you, Aqua?”

 My body relaxes as I laugh.

 Aqua kisses me while touching various parts of my body.

 Just the thought of being touched by a man made me tremble in fear, but now, being touched by Aqua’s hand makes me feel good and tremble with convulsions.

 Am I… actually quite simple?

 ”You can insert it now.”

 I smile in response to Aqua’s signal.

 ”Umm…”

 Slowly, Aqua’s thing enters me.

 I thought something this big wouldn’t fit inside me, but surprisingly it does, and I’m a little surprised myself.

 I can’t bear the overwhelming feeling rising up from within me and cling to Aqua’s body.

 ”Incredible…”

 ”Ayana?”

 What is this feeling?

 Being connected to Aqua, unexpressable emotions overflow from within me.

 It’s as if something inside me is slowly unraveling the things I’ve been holding onto.

 ”The pain, the anxiety, everything I’ve been holding onto, it’s all melting away in Aqua’s heat.”

 ”Ayana…”

 The pain and anxiety, all of it melts away, and what’s left is love and pleasure.

 What should I do?

 My heart flutters uncontrollably, and my lower abdomen heats up.

 ”Hey, Aqua. Let’s get closer…”

 ”It’s okay, Ayana.”

 Aqua hugs me tightly and kisses me repeatedly.

 I’m happy about the kisses, but I want him to touch and move my body more.

 ”Stop kissing me so much, I already know. B-because, we’re connected, you know?”

 I want to stay connected with Aqua forever.

 ”Um, can I move?”

 ”Yeah, but slowly. Because, it’s lonely when our bodies separate…”

 Actually, it’s true that I feel lonely when our bodies separate, but I really wanted to say that it’s okay to be intense.

 But I’m too embarrassed to say it.

 Because I don’t want to be seen as a shameless girl.

 I peek at Aqua’s face with an upward glance to see his reaction.

 ”Wow, Aqua, your face is bright red. What’s wrong?”

 ”What’s wrong is that you’re too cute, Ayana.”

 I’m happy.

 Seeing Aqua’s emotions swaying because of me made me feel really happy.

 ”Sorry. I tried to be gentle, but I might not have the luxury to do so.”

 ”It’s okay. I don’t have the luxury either. Besides… it’s my first time, but it’s annoying that only experienced Aqua is acting so cool.”

 It’s a lie that I’m annoyed.

 More than anything, I was happy that Aqua was stirring up emotions because of me.

 ”Ah…”

 Wait, wait, wait!

 …I didn’t know that your penis would feel this good.

 Huh? Could it be that everyone was doing this pleasant thing with Aqua every day?

 If there was a time machine in front of me, I might have jumped in and slapped my past self, saying, “Stop being stubborn and just let yourself be held!”

 Thinking that I was being so foolish makes my face turn red.

 From now on, I thought I’d try to avoid being stubborn as much as possible.

 ”Hmm… forget what I said earlier.”

 I turn my face away in embarrassment.

 ”Ha… It’s okay to be rough… I tried moving and realized it feels better like this… Idiot, don’t listen to me. Aqua, unlike me, is used to it, so you know without me saying, right?”

 I want you to be rough by yourself.

 I’m amazed that I was able to say it feels good.

 What was the point of stubbornly holding out until just now?

 Aqua started thrusting his hips vigorously while touching and kissing my body.

 ”Uhnn…”

 Ah, ah, ah, as expected, this feels so good.

 Having my girl’s precious insides and depths made wet by your penis feels this amazing.

 I desperately try to hold back my uterus, which is trying to descend, with just my stubbornness and pride.

 But the more I stubbornly resisted, the harder Aqua tried to thrust vigorously.

 Ah, I can’t take it anymore.

 I really can’t.

 My emotions for Aqua, who turns my stubbornness into a positive, are becoming uncontrollable.

 I love him so much that he start touching and kissing his body on my own.

 Thinking that Aqua might be too focused on his lower half right now, allowing me to touch him freely, I couldn’t stop myself.

 ”Ayana, is it okay to c*m inside you?”

 ”Yeah… Yeah. I want it inside me too. Hey, Aqua… Let’s become one?”

 Kanon-san and everyone said that it feels the best when they’re filled inside.

 I’m sorry, Aqua.

 I might be a more perverted girl than you think.

 Throb, throb, throb, throb…

 The moment I was filled inside, I could feel my insides being filled with happiness.

 But… It felt even better than that.

 Ah, I really am perverted…

 Realizing this, my face rapidly heats up.

 Uwaaaah! What if Aqua thinks I’m actually perverted?

 What… what do I do?!

 ”How… was it?”

 I can’t help but ask Aqua.

 ”You were cute.”

 ”Cute? Eh, isn’t it usually ‘good’ or something like that? Well, I don’t know…”

 I’m bewildered by Aqua’s unexpected answer. Then, Aqua forcefully takes my lips.

 ”Do you understand this kind of thing?”

 ”U-um…”

 I don’t understand, but the kiss felt good.

 As I think this, Aqua kisses me again.

 ”Ayana, thank you.”

 ”Me too… it was the best first time, thank you.”

 Lying on my back in bed, I hold hands with Aqua and gaze up at the night sky.

 The moon floating in the cloudless night sky was shining beautifully, as bright as my heart.

 ”Congratulations, Ayana-chan!”

 The moment we arrived home, Emily-san greeted us with a straight face and applause.

 It would’ve been better if she had at least smiled or grinned, but why is she so serious?!

 I’m confused and don’t know how to respond.

 ”Congratulations, Ayana-chan!”

 Yukari-senpai comes out, clapping with a sentimental expression.

 ”Ayana-chan, congratulations!”

 The people of the Nightmare Generation who were restraining Yukari-senpai appear.

 I can see that Maron-senpai is tearing up, but why are Kaede-san, Iria-san, and Inko-san also crying!?

 ”Congratulations!”

 ”Congratulations!”

 ”Congratulations, truly congratulations!”

 What is going on here!?

 The people of Shirogane Kingdom come out clapping their hands.

 I freeze, not knowing what to do, and Emily-san tries to tell me something with her eyes.

 ”Th-Thank you, everyone…”

 I say my words of gratitude with a bright red face.

 Geezzzz! What is this all about!?

 I can’t help but say thank you when they’re congratulating me!

 ”Congratulations!”

 Aqua, who returned after me, claps with a gentle smile.

 Why is even Aqua trying to join their side!?

 ”Aqua, you’re not supposed to say congratulations!”

 I lightly push Aqua’s firm chest with both hands and step outside again.

 I’ve had enough.

 I, I’m leaving this house!

 I, Tsukimachi Ayana, decided to run away from home the day after I was united with Aqua.

 ”Congratulations, Ayana-chan!”

 ”Congratulations, Ayana-chan!”

 Waaaaah!

 People passing by look at my face and send their blessings with heartfelt smiles.

 Huh? How do they already know that I had s*x!?

 I stop at a park with no adults around and check the news on my phone.

 The Seibaku Newspaper reported on its front page that Aqua and I are now together.

 ”Congratulations, Ayana-chan!”

 ”Congrats, Ayana-chan!”

 Having been congratulated even by the children in the park, I decided to give up and go home.

 I mean, I just can’t bear being outside like this!!

 When I got home with teary eyes, the people who got scolded by Kanon-san and Kotono-san for knowing the situation apologized to me.

 Geez! I’ll forgive you this time, but there won’t be a next time!

 Also, Yukari-senpai and Ako-san are looking at baby crib catalogs, but it’s way too early for that!!

 Aqua is also seriously saying things like, “I like this one,” and he’s not even trying to hide it!

 Emily-san, who joined in naturally, should be focused on her own baby’s crib before me!

 Geeeezzz!

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Edited by Kanaa-senpai.
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