Volume 6 Chapter 112 Armchair Detective
Edited by: Kanaa-senpai
Uno’s nest exists in another world. The flow of time is different—that alone proves it.
”Another world?” Sar-Sar asked. “Well, something like that, right? A no-risk, back-and-forth kind of other world. I wish teleportation to Earth was like this.”
It looks like an ordinary underground dome, massive in scale. Light spills through the ceiling’s cracks, feeding the greenery below. Wildflowers dot the floor, blooming in soft clusters—a surreal sight, even now.
But I’ve grown used to it. After all, I’ve spent more than half my life here.
Come to think of it, this place resembles the underground dome with the pyramid in the inner sanctum. Maybe it’s a standard architectural style in this world.
This time, I came to analyze the data accessed from the World’s Wisdom.
With how urgent things are at the castle, I can’t afford to just sit around reflecting.
A fool’s musings might bring rest? Either way, if I get stuck, I can ask the wise wives. Three heads are better than one. It’s noisy, but somehow heartening—like warmth you forgot you missed.
Unfortunately, Princess Auroora, Shea-Shea, and Miss Floria couldn’t come. Frapatica stayed behind as Shea-Shea’s bodyguard.
I really wanted Miss Floria here. If I can pinpoint the issue next time, I’ll ask her again—even if it’s a stretch.
”The Professor?” I scoffed. “He seems smart, but he’s useless. Feels like he’d just make everything worse.”
* * *
The moment I arrived, we hit a snag—I couldn’t access the World’s Wisdom from Uno’s nest.
In other words, it’s out of range. If this were spirit communication, I could’ve reached the outside world. The mechanics must differ.
Still, not a dealbreaker. I can download the materials I need for my Editor skill and bring them in manually.
I’ve already reviewed some intriguing data.
”The true identity of the inner sanctum is aliens, huh?” Ms. Shirakaba said, arms folded.
”What’s the difference between aliens and otherworlders?” Sar-Sar asked, tilting her head.
”Aliens are… people from space, you know,” Shirakaba replied, wincing. “No, wait—that was dumb. Forget I said that.”
I stifled a laugh at the exchange. Those two have grown pretty close lately.
Sar-Sar’s doted on like everyone’s little sister, while Ms. Shirakaba, surprisingly playful, has taken up the role of designated teasing victim.
”Geez, we should’ve just killed the Conqueror King,” Tizzy muttered, scowling.
Her tone soured the moment his name came up—understandable, since he was her parents’ enemy.
”Apparently, his real father discriminated against him using meat. What a pitiful man,” someone said dryly.
Discriminated with meat—what a surreal phrase.
”What’s the big deal about a little meat?” Shirakaba said, frowning. “Isn’t he just some brat who got spoiled wrong?”
”It’s just meat—yet not just meat,” Sar-Sar whispered. “What was the emperor even thinking?”
Does an emperor of a great nation really need to skimp on meat? Of course not.
He must’ve done it out of spite—that’s what curdled the boy into a monster.
”He probably wanted to emphasize that the legitimate child was different, but lacked the words,” El said, arms crossed.
”The emperor’s foolish obsession, huh?” Uno added. “He just spread seeds of discord for no reason. Humans are truly foolish.”
The wives aren’t pulling any punches today.
Honestly, I get lost in petty thoughts too. It’s not just someone else’s problem.
Emperor Larse, stripped of political power by the Empress, probably saw food as his only sphere of control.
No doubt Miss Floria already knows all about the behind-the-scenes battle between the Empress and the concubines.
If that’s the case, then not even the Emperor had full control over his own children.
Twisted through and through.
All that meat bullying led to a warped man trying to seize the nation—and taking countless lives down with him.
And as always, the lower classes paid the highest price.
”If they knew it was over something that stupid,” Ms. Shirakaba said, “the dead wouldn’t rest easy, huh?”
”Any excuse would’ve done,” Tizzy replied. “It just shows how many people were itching for war.”
”Seeking glory? Hoping to rise in rank?” Uno muttered. “Humans are idiots.”
”No,” Floria’s voice echoed in my mind. “War’s when merchants make the most profit. That’s at least a practical motive.”
Now that she mentions it, plenty profited off the Demon King’s invasion too.
The upper brass in the Merchant Guild are laughing their heads off right now.
Do they not worry about what happens if they lose? Or do they think money solves everything?
Among them, there are clever ones already laying plans to work under the Demon King’s rule.
But their opponent is the Demon King. Can you even hold a proper negotiation with him?
After seeing how he treated us during the cooking competition? There’s no way.
It’s never that simple.
”Very well,” Uno said coldly. “Let that person pay for it in full.”
The Conqueror King does want to make amends. He’d probably comply with most requests—out of pride, if nothing else.
”It’s common for humans to get hooked on atonement, you know?” Uno went on. “Like, ‘Look at me, I’m so noble for apologizing!’ That sort of thing’s addicting. Truly foolish.”
Uno keeps repeating foolish like it’s a catchphrase. Some anime must’ve rubbed off on him.
Lately, even gods have been getting into anime. Originally, many deities appreciated human arts—song, theater, painting.
Once the spirits began watching anime too, it naturally became part of divine offerings.
I guess even spirit communication has privacy issues. Not that I plan to hide anything from the gods.
”Anyway,” I said, shifting gears, “I want your help analyzing this so-called wisdom. It’s said to reveal the world’s secrets. Anyone curious about something? Yes, Ms. Nina.”
Ms. Nina raised her hand hesitantly. Being the first to speak takes guts.
”Was it the aliens from the Inner Sanctum who built the Puppeteer’s Tower?” she asked.
”Great question,” I said, nodding. “I was curious too, so I downloaded the relevant data.”
I found myself slipping into class president mode, thanks to Ms. Nina’s tone.
”Um, the Puppeteer’s dungeon does look like a spaceship, doesn’t it?” she added. “What’s above ground even looks like a tail fin.
By the time the aliens from the Inner Sanctum arrived, it was already buried there. They seem to be from the same civilization, but there’s no record of interaction.
Also, the aliens who gave Uno the spaceship belong to a different faction of the same civilization.”
Precision parts can’t function if they’re even slightly off-spec. The machines from each alien race are fundamentally incompatible.
”What do you mean?” Uno said, alarmed. “You’re saying my spaceship can’t be repaired?”
She clearly wasn’t in the mood for this classroom setup. Not that she even knows what a class meeting is.
It’s not like it’s a staple anime scene or anything.
”The Inner Sanctum can only make basic machines,” I explained. “Stuff like warp engines has to be manufactured in their homeland.”
”Not even a master dwarf craftsman could fix it?” Tizzy asked.
”It needs massive equipment. Honestly, if we handed the blueprints to Earth scientists, they might manage it… in a few decades.”
”That’s no good,” Uno huffed. “Earthlings are too foolish. They’d mess it up. But anime? Anime’s solid.”
Her praise for anime is oddly consistent.
”Maybe this distance from Earth is perfect…” Uno said, then added, “Just right,” striking a pose.
She clearly reworded it just to sound cool. She’s completely given up on repairing that spaceship.
If there was a safe way to shuttle back and forth to Earth, I could’ve sent Ms. Shirakaba home.
But it would’ve caused more trouble than it solved.
All things considered, this is a technology best left sealed away.
”Alright,” I said, closing that topic, “let’s put the spaceship issue to rest. Next question—yes, Ms. Tizzy?”
”I’m honored to speak,” Tizzy said, straightening her back. “If I could learn one secret of this world, I’d want to understand wall barley, desuwa.
If potatoes and corn were freed from wheat’s poison, our food culture would flourish.”
”Another great question,” I said. “I actually downloaded all the data on wall barley first. I’ll go over it now—so let’s take a short break.”
”Yay! Snack time!” El cheered, bouncing in her seat.
Clearly, this format isn’t her favorite. Looks like we’ve got free time until I finish reading.
* * *
Sar-Sar pulled a large cabinet from her magic bag.
Inside, cooking tools were neatly arranged, and a surprising variety of ingredients and pre-cooked dishes were packed in tight.
She must be prepping for a long wait, practicing her cooking while she has the time. Fortunately, she won’t be short on taste-testers.
My version of the magic bag consumes less mana and works regardless of job class, but honestly, it’s still incomplete. There’s no indexing function, so I have to dump everything out just to find one thing.
Not a problem for me, though—I’ve got the Editor skill linked in.
If I could use the official model, things would be much easier. But Sar-Sar came up with a workaround: she stores everything in a large box and moves the entire box in and out.
It’s the kind of simple fix anyone could think of, but organizing it in a multi-drawer cabinet made it surprisingly efficient.
I even built my own tool cabinet to copy the idea. Sorting by function lets me work faster.
Maybe magic doesn’t need to be so complicated after all.
Sar-Sar’s cooking practice is fascinating, but I leave her to it and focus on the materials. There’s text data, sure, but the image streams beaming directly into my head are far more convenient.
The trick is to remember only what’s useful and forget the rest right away. You know? There’s only so much room in the brain. Good thing I’m naturally forgetful.
It’s like making a scrapbook of memories. I hate studying, but with a clear goal, it becomes kind of fun.
Having purpose changes everything. The Japanese education system? It’s like making you stack stones on a riverbed full of dice. Total suffering.
If it were something like jumping over hemp seedlings every day, that would’ve been way more fun. Let’s file that river-stone nonsense as a negative example.
T/N: “Jumping over hemp seedlings” references a classic Chinese proverb symbolizing daily training or growth.
There was way more data on wall barley than I expected. Apparently, the inner sanctum developed it in collaboration with a certain goddess.
In polytheism, gods aren’t omniscient or omnipotent—they each specialize in different areas. Division of labor is standard.
They even team up with highly skilled humans, or sometimes, with aliens.
I knew it. Wall barley always seemed fishy. It’s too sloppy to be divine work, and there are just too many flaws.
A crop that withers surrounding weeds sounds useful—until it becomes the ultimate weed itself.
How do they tell weeds from crops, anyway?
Turns out, there’s a goddess’s altar buried deep in the inner sanctum pyramid, with a control device inside.
They’re using some kind of resonance phenomenon to manage wall barley across the world.
But the elder managing that device passed away, so crop registration hasn’t been updated.
Now, anything not in the system—like new potatoes and Earth-imported corn—gets flagged as a weed and withers.
A system that targets anything not registered as a crop? That’s just bad design.
They should’ve used a negative list—only eliminate registered weeds.
It sounds similar on paper, but if you get the logic backward, it can cause real harm.
Still, you can’t deny that wall barley came from a place of love. Seeing people starve, that goddess stepped in. Her intentions were noble.
The real problem was her favoritism. She adored humans, but everything else? Didn’t really matter to her.
Wall barley’s aggression wasn’t just against weeds—it affected pests, too.
Aside from useful animals like brown quail, deer, and boars, the crop seemed to cause severe allergic reactions in things like rats.
Come to think of it, I haven’t seen many mice around. Maybe that’s why there aren’t many cats, either.
Could El’s wall barley allergy be tied to that?
Goblins and orcs avoid it, but Rin and Oka are fine. Same for elves and antfolk. So where’s the line?
Seems like the triggers are all set in the system’s parameters.
Ah—I think I finally get it. That must be why the Demon King’s aiming for the Holy King’s Capital.
* * *
While I was digging into all that, I stumbled on another connection—sky whales and the declining birthrate. Wall barley ties into both.
Is wall barley the final boss?!
I’ve got more to look up. Time to head back to the surface and download the rest.
”I’ll be right back,” I said, slinging my bag over my shoulder. “Just stepping outside for a minute.”
”A minute won’t cut it,” Uno said, sniffing the air. “Food’s ready—let’s eat.”
Why’s she acting all smug? Sar-Sar’s the one who did the cooking. Ms. Nina helped, and Ms. Shirakaba pitched in a little too.
”I worked hard on the taste test too,” Uno added, arms folded like she deserved praise.
”It helped having Lady Uno try it,” Sar-Sar said, smiling.
Uno always eats the failures too, grumbling the whole way through.
”Dumpling soup, huh? Smells good,” she said, peering into the pot.
”It’s pelmeni,” Sar-Sar said proudly. “I used rice flour in the dough so El-san can eat it.”
T/N: Pelmeni are Russian-style dumplings traditionally made with wheat flour and filled with meat.
Is that really pelmeni? Dumpling-type dishes exist all over the world, and once rice flour gets involved, the lines blur fast.
At that point, it’s basically a whole new dish.
”Doesn’t matter as long as it tastes good,” Uno said with a shrug.
”Yeah. Dumplings are delicious no matter what you call them,” Ms. Nina agreed.
Everyone dipped bread into the soup to eat.
El, Ms. Shirakaba, and I had it with steamed rice.
I scooped the rice with pelmeni as a side dish, while El and Ms. Shirakaba dropped theirs into the soup to make a kind of porridge.
Everyone had their own way of eating, and as long as no one was uncomfortable, there was no need to worry about manners.
Maybe it’s because we feel like a family. We eat however we like—it’s easy and relaxed.
* * *
I organized the info I’d downloaded and sorted the priorities before heading out.
The download only took a few seconds.
I rushed back to everyone.
Time felt… off. Everyone had changed into comfy loungewear.
Girl talk? Pajama party?
”No way. Men, go over there,” Ms. Nina said, pointing me away with her thumb.
And just like that, I got kicked out.
Lately, my wives had been getting along so well, I felt like the odd one out.
Well, I still had solo work to do.
I carried my custom-built recliner a little farther off and settled down.
It was a true labor of love—more time spent tweaking than building. It wasn’t perfectly tuned yet, but since I made it, I could adjust it anytime.
One day, I’ll surpass even the finest dwarven craftsman with my DIY furniture.
”Wake up. De–aaar,” came a soft voice at my ear.
Warm breath tickled my skin, and I stirred awake.
”Exceneca?” I asked groggily. “Guess I nodded off…”
As expected from my self-made recliner. Too comfy for its own good.
”You looked so tired,” Exceneca said, brushing hair from my face. “We decided to let you sleep, but we started to get worried.”
Apparently, I’d been out for a full day. I must’ve been more exhausted than I thought.
”Hey, make me a chair like this too,” she said, nudging the recliner.
”Me too,” Sar-Sar chimed in.
”Me too!” Ms. Nina added.
”Please, me too!” Ms. Shirakaba said with a smile.
”It’s fine,” I said, grinning. “I’ll make one for everyone.”
T/N: DIY recliner chairs are personalized furniture pieces often built for comfort, and their presence reflects the character’s ingenuity and craftsmanship.
Fortunately, there’s plenty of time here.
If I make enough easy chairs for everyone while listening to everyone’s opinions, by the time that’s done, I’ll have leveled up as a chair craftsman.
* * *
I arrange the finished easy chairs into a circle around a large magic circle. Claire’s seat—if you can even call it a chair—is more like a thick floor cushion made from Japanese-style beads. She’s from the horsefolk tribe, and she likes it, so no complaints.
I originally wanted to use a round table, but nothing that size was on hand. Fortunately, I found a magic circle just big enough to work.
The surface of the circle gleams like polished granite, faintly glowing. It looks cool. Its function? To generate a breeze—so soft you can’t even feel it on your skin—that slowly stirs the air around us. Basically, it’s a magical air circulator.
Once everyone’s seated, I take the lead.
”The reason I brought everyone here today is none other than…” I begin with the dramatic flair of a secret society leader, doing my best to sound mysterious.
A few people are already asleep.
Sar-Sar and Tizzy have drifted off completely. Ms. Nina and Shirakaba-san are visibly struggling to stay awake.
Uno and the spirits seem alert—wait, no, scratch that.
What sort of monstrosity have I created…?
”Anyway, let’s just call it nap time for now,” I sigh.
Ms. Nina and Shirakaba-san finally surrender and start snoring softly.
Looks like only Ms. Ant and Claire are still hanging on.
”Sorry, I’m tapping out too,” Claire murmurs, curling up. “Just a quick nap.”
I let my thoughts float away, body melting into the cushion.
* * *
”A chair that comfortable probably isn’t great for meetings,” Shirakaba-san says, making no move to get up. “Even politicians doze off during parliamentary broadcasts.”
”Isn’t it fine to take a nap?” Sar-Sar mumbles, eyes already shut.
”Then make it interesting enough that I won’t fall asleep,” Tizzy grumbles, one eye barely open.
Everyone’s saying whatever they please. Fine, fine—I get the message. I’ll just present it in a snappier way.
”Listen up! Guess what?! Wall barley’s origin is tied to the inner sanctum!” I announce, throwing in some flair.
”What, what did you say?!” Shirakaba-san gasps in mock shock.
Her reaction is so exaggerated it reminds me of an old internet meme.
The others blink at her odd behavior, the drowsiness instantly swept away.
”The poison of wall barley can be programmed to target anything you want!” I continue.
”What, what did you say?!” Sar-Sar yelps.
”What did you say?!” El echoes.
”Say what?!” Tizzy chimes in.
Sar-Sar and El have started copying Shirakaba-san. Did they think it was some kind of game?
Well, hey—if it gets a reaction, I’ll take it.
”In the depths of the underground pyramid, there’s a hidden altar where you can control every last stalk of wall barley in the world!”
”What, what did you say?!” Uno jumps in now, her eyes gleaming.
The spirits follow her lead. The only ones not joining in are Ms. Nina, who looks too embarrassed; Claire, who doesn’t quite get it; and Ms. Ant, who’s clearly not interested.
”Wall barley causes monster allergies!” I declare.
”What, what did you say?!”
”That’s a serious problem!!” El gasps, clearly alarmed.
”What’s the definition of a monster?” Ms. Nina asks, brow furrowed. “Is it like a weed? Can we configure that too?”
”Ah,” Tizzy says slowly, “so that’s the Demon King army’s goal. If that’s true… do we really need to fight?”
Tizzy’s thought mirrors mine almost exactly.
”Wait a sec,” Uno says. “If the demons start eating wall barley, will that really fix things?”
”Apparently, another god released something like the sky whale to cull all the creatures that multiplied thanks to wall barley,” I explain. “And there’s also a god who cursed humanity with infertility.”
No one speaks. The mood has turned grim.
”Eliminating hunger… isn’t that a good thing?” Sar-Sar asks softly, eyes shimmering. “Maybe she’s actually a kind goddess?”
Maybe. From this world’s perspective, that kind of thinking is common sense.
It made sense when humanity was small. But after the Industrial Revolution, we gained strength far beyond what muscle could provide—and now the Earth is paying the price.
I thought this world was locked in at a medieval level to prevent that. But the gods disrupted the balance. Everything’s out of control now.
Wall barley spread too far. It grew so rampant the other gods had to intervene.
If they could patch this world like a game, couldn’t they have balanced it before throwing in sky whales?
And this birthrate curse… it’s gone too far. Can’t we just ask them to stop before humanity’s wiped out?
Judging by the gods’ behavior, though, they’ll probably leave the curse in place—and toss us some ridiculous aphrodisiac as a half-baked fix.
It’s like flooring the gas while pumping the brakes. If it works, fine—but…
I get it now. The gods don’t fail. This world is their toy. Even if humanity goes extinct, it’s just another event—not a mistake.
The gods who care about humans might not like it, but they’ll just start a new game.
Can someone like me—a weak NPC in this divine sandbox—actually interfere with the gods, the players, and save humanity?
Yes. There’s a way.
I just have to turn saving humanity into an “event” worth playing.
Why do people keep playing games to the end?
Some get abandoned when they get boring, sure—but that’s rare.
If the gods can save humanity and enjoy themselves doing it, they’ll go for it.
All I need to do is set the stage.
So who’s the protagonist?
Someone better suited than me.
The Conqueror King? No, he’s too self-absorbed. Hmm… maybe worth keeping in the running.
Uno? Tizzy? They’ve got style and recognition. But the main character usually dies in the end. That might work in an American movie, but here…
What if I made the Demon King the protagonist?
He might not cooperate—but if it means saving his people and humanity, it’s a solid deal.
As long as he’s not bent on wiping us out, we can probably make it work.
Regardless of who stars in the role, the key issue is wall barley.
If we erase it entirely, humanity will starve.
Better to tweak it—remove its hostility toward other plants and neutralize the allergen. Reset it.
It’d be simpler to just delete it altogether, but that’s too drastic.
Then there’s the low birthrate curse.
Should I… hybridize with goblins or orcs?
I mean, the local goblins and orcs are already part-human. The only purebloods are Rin and Oka.
It’s viable in theory—but emotionally? Total nonstarter. Most people would say, “Kill me first.”
Then what about the Amazons’ secret techniques? Their looks are fine, but their personalities… pass. Honestly, the goblins have better attitudes.
So either fix the Amazons’ personalities or upgrade the goblins’ appearances.
We could probably manage it with divine help—but wouldn’t that just make the world even more chaotic?
* * *
Before I knew it, everyone had fallen into peaceful sleep.
This place really is like a blissful armchair of happiness.
Wouldn’t it be nice to just live here forever?
Forget the outside world.
But then I remember Shea-Shea and the others. Sar-Sar’s family is still out there. Tizzy has her former subjects.
Uno’s nest is big, but space is limited.
People say no one can live alone… but how many people does it actually take to live?
Ah, I’m getting sleepy too.
No point fighting it. Just let go.
* * *
”Start with the nearest task first.”
The thought hits me at the worst possible time.
If I want to combat the declining birthrate curse… I guess I’ll have to try having kids myself.
I’ll talk to everyone about it when I wake up. Zzz
Notes:
• Miss Floria – Elegant, silver-haired noblewoman in her 40s, referred to as an ‘older sister’. Judge of the Supreme Court and Baroness. Former tutor of Princess Auroora. Initially stern but warms up, showing a playful side. Close with Ms. Nina (Princess Auroora’s doll copy), treating her like a sister. Trustworthy and explains legal matters clearly.
• Frapatica – Advanced Fire Spirit, brown skin, fiery red hair, striking red leather bikini armor, youthful beneath a mature appearance, Edo-girl speaking style, kind, offers her name as a sign of trust
• Shea-Shea – Mauro’s daughter. Hurt by Alexander. Became an eager fiancée after advice from protagonist.
• Shirakaba – A paladin who seems to be a skilled fighter. He’s introduced as someone with a strong defense and healing abilities.
• Tizzy – Claims to be Duke’s daughter, a noble with advanced magic skills. MC and Ms. Shirakaba lover.
• El – She is a giant woman, appeared as Saburou’s captor, living alone in a large tent, skilled in hunting and cooking, proposes marriage to Saburou.
• Ms. Nina – Doll Princess (Auroora 217), renamed by the protagonist. Beautiful blonde, ~168 cm, slim waist. Wears adventurer attire. Made from artificial parts and wooden limbs, resembling a princess. Knowledgeable, can read, write, and use basic healing magic. Reliable partner, often saves the protagonist with her skills.
• Nina – Doll Princess (Auroora 217), renamed by the protagonist. Beautiful blonde, ~168 cm, slim waist. Wears adventurer attire. Made from artificial parts and wooden limbs, resembling a princess. Knowledgeable, can read, write, and use basic healing magic. Reliable partner, often saves the protagonist with her skills.
• Exceneca – Lady Uno’s butler girl
• Ms. Ant – Level 20 ant soldier, over 2 meters tall in armor. Named by the protagonist due to lack of a previous name. Wields a huge battle axe, large round shield, and throwing axes. Seasoned warrior capable of taking down sub-dragons. Ms. Hóa’s prized secret treasure. Borrowed by the protagonist as a trial during his time in the royal capital
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Edited by Kanaa-senpai.
Thanks for reading.
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