Volume 13 Chapter 289 Onani Hagetoru, Filthy BERYL
Edited by: Kanaa-senpai
The team with the most coins right now was Grandma Mary’s, after she wiped out Kanon’s squad and pocketed their entire stash. That’s why everyone else was throwing their last hours into raiding her base, desperate to snatch those hoarded coins. Sure, we could’ve tried hitting the empty bases of the raiders, but since Mary’s squad had practically everything, that would never put us in first. And we weren’t here for second place. Our Kohina Yukari team wanted the crown.
”Wait, Kohina-senpai, if we fire rockets from here they won’t even reach the enemy base!” Aqua shouted.
”What!?”
We had barely arrived at the assault outpost when Aqua, the first to launch a rocket, froze us all with that revelation.
”So this outpost is useless?” I said.
”Don’t you dare call it useless! Hagetoru and I worked hard to build it!”
Correction: I didn’t build anything. That was all Kohina-paisen. Aqua and Inko, who had tried to set up a base closer to the enemy, rushed back, pale-faced.
”Building outside is suicide! They’ll shred us to pieces!” Inko barked.
I nodded hard. Grandma Mary’s squad wasn’t the type to let that kind of leisurely construction slide.
”The second I stepped out, a rocket barrage screamed at me from the opposite side! What the hell!?” Aqua yelled.
”That’s karma for your daily nonsense,” I said flatly.
On the opposite side was Kanon. She definitely knew it was Aqua and targeted him on purpose. And honestly, it was deserved. Every time he kissed up to her with some ridiculous excuse, he was asking for it. Still, imagining Kanon blushing as she fired did make me forgive her. Props to Kohina-paisen too—she called it.
[Watching Tashinami spam rockets in silence, lol.]
[Hey Kanon-sama, wrong target!]
[Only Kanon-sama can get away with bullying Aqua.]
[Kanon-sama, Hagetoru’s here too, hint hint!]
[This no-rules tourney is wild. Everyone’s snitching Hagetoru’s location, lol.]
I barely peeked outside and a storm of rockets screamed toward me. Damn it! I hadn’t done anything wrong, yet Kanon, Agewa-neechan, Kukuri, even Mary herself—rockets from everywhere. Was I imagining things!? Meanwhile, while the other teams joyfully battered Mary’s fortress, our team fumbled in a flimsy shack. That’s when salvation arrived.
”Everyone! I brought the ship Hagetoru prepared! What’s the plan?” Mikuni called.
”Perfect, Mikuni! All aboard the Queen Yukari II—set sail!” Kohina declared.
With nerves gnawing at us, we boarded the mighty Great Kaiju Yukari.
”Queen Yukari, depart!” Kohina bellowed.
”Yaaah!” we roared, fists raised.
Even in disaster, our team never lacked spirit.
[This ship’s gonna sink, lol.]
[Excited!!]
[Playing ‘The Sinking Ship’ by Nakano Mori Aki now.]
[Shut up! Don’t jinx it!]
[Rip.]
[Nobody expects them to succeed, lol.]
Naturally, the captain was Kohina-senpai, not the competent gamers like me, Aqua, or Inko. Normally, I’d argue to steer, but no one could stop Kohina. Our choices were only “Yes” or “Yes, ma’am.”
”Waaaah! We ran aground instantly!” Kohina cried.
”Water’s pouring in!” Inko panicked.
”I’ll patch it!” I shouted.
Raiding an enemy fortress? Yeah, we used to dream about that. Reality was this: sinking before we even set sail.
[Called it.]
[Brilliant as always!]
[This team never disappoints.]
[Kohina steering = disaster.]
[Sad news: they haven’t done anything yet.]
Aqua, Inko, and I scrambled to repair the ship, while Mikuni crafted materials. Finally, patched and afloat again—
”…Queen Yukari, depart!!” Kohina cheered.
”…Yeah…” we muttered weakly.
According to her, the first launch never happened.
[She just rewrote history, lol.]
[Crew morale at rock bottom.]
[Their battle begins now!]
[Stop jinxing it!!]
We somehow looped around and lined up a shot from behind the enemy base. After a grueling hour, we finally entered the fight! Aqua took the helm from Kohina—no comedy allowed now.
”Whoa, their counterattack’s insane!” Inko shouted.
”How are they under siege from all directions and still so calm!?” I shouted.
Grandma Mary’s squad had merged with Prime Minister Habu, Furia, Hakuryuu-sensei, Megumi the Morinaga CEO, Ranko Oba-chan, Agewa-neechan, and Yakumo-sensei. Mary’s team was stacked—only Hakuryuu was comic relief, but even he wasn’t dead weight. Not like our actual clown of a leader, Kohina. They fought like seasoned warriors, merciless, like Pon-san himself.
”Kohina-senpai! Their counterfire’s too much—ah! The left hull!” Aqua cried.
”Aqua, I’ll handle the repairs!” I yelled again, racing to patch before we sank a second time. Aqua-sama was too busy piloting, so I took charge of fixing the ship. Given our team balance, it made sense—the ones with fewer mistakes and solid skill should steer and repair. That choice paid off. My judgment worked.
[Yeah, Hagetoru’s just plain good at games.]
[Not just the game, they’re sharp—always cover blind spots.]
[Aqua-sama and Hagetoru handle everything smoothly.]
[Both are high-level jack-of-all-trades.]
[↑That’s not even jack-of-all-trades anymore—they’re just skilled.]
[↑True that.]
But just as I finished patching and tried to head back inside, my character got snagged and stuck.
”Damn it!” I gritted, struggling. No use. Wedged tight. Worse, the ship itself froze because of my bugged avatar. And of course, Grandma Mary’s team didn’t waste a second.
”Multiple rocket launchers hitting the port side! Inko-san, can you repair!?”
”No good—we ran out of materials after the first hit!” Inko shouted.
A ship that couldn’t move was just a target. While I flailed, Mikuni Oba-chan dove into the water.
”Mikuni-san! There’s a push button—use it! Shove me free, maybe it’ll save the ship!”
”O-okay!”
Her shove loosened my character just enough. Yes! But the moment I thought we were safe, Merry-san, rifle in hand, popped my head with a single sniper shot. Those grannies were way too good with firearms—of course, they had real grenade-throwing experience.
”I’ll respawn right away!” I said.
”Wait!” Kohina cut in.
At her voice, everyone froze. For sailors, what mattered most wasn’t law, rank, or wealth—it was the word of the captain of this ship-nation.
”Hagetoru and Mikuni, when you respawn, snipe their rocket and sniper squads! Inko, Aqua—plant every bomb left inside and then jump ship. I’ll pilot us straight into their base and blow a hole wide open!”
God, Kohina-paisen was the best. I knew I’d joined the right team.
”Kohina-senpai, bombs planted!” Aqua reported.
”Good! You and Inko dive in and trail behind me underwater! If we’re lucky, you can sneak in through the breach!”
In pure tactical instinct, our captain was second to none—not even Kanopon or Mary-sama. She always knew what needed doing, fast, without hesitation.
[Uooooohhhhhhh!]
[This is fire! Didn’t expect a hype moment in this team!]
[Everyone’s stuck against Mary-sama’s fortress wall—this tactic could work!]
[Go go goooo!]
[This is why Kohina Yukari’s so popular.]
[Her badass side is undeniable.]
Kohina’s ship surged straight toward the fortress. Mary’s team scrambled to respond. But with just me and Mikuni, we were short-handed. One hit on our weak hull and it’d all be over. Please, just make it!
Gunfire burst from an unexpected direction.
’Listen up! That ship’s about to ram—everyone support it!’
That voice—Tashinami!
’Roger! All troops, support that ship!!’
President Atori!
[It’s happening!!]
[All armies, unite!!]
[Yesterday’s enemy is today’s ally!!]
[Everyone realizes this is the only way through.]
[This is what we wanted to see.]
With the other teams backing us, Kohina’s ship drew closer.
”I’m locked out of respawn for now—the rest is on you!” she ordered.
”Roger!!” we all answered.
The ship’s prow smashed into Mary’s fortress wall. We did it! Victory was ours!
”Together to the end! Nanmu-san!” Kohina cried, slamming the detonator.
I saluted with an emote as the ship lit up. Thank you, Captain Kohina. Thank you, Great Kaiju Yukari-gon. We’d never forget your courage.
[We did it!!!]
[Huge hole blown in the wall!!]
[Kohina Yukari, that was epic!]
[Hell yeah, keep pushing!]
But Mary’s defenders rushed to patch it. “Damn! Then I’ll swim in myself!” I cursed. No—my Hagetoru Paddle Board was still with me, just a plank of wood, but with tides I could read currents like no one else. Thank daily tide training.
”This is Aqua—Inko-san and I are inside!”
”But their defense is too tight—we’re blocked!!” Inko said.
Grandma Mary guarded like iron. Unlike me or Kanopon, no weak gaps. What now?
’All troops, charge!!’ a voice rang out.
Tashinami again. She’d left global chat on. At first, cooperation made sense. Now? Unclear. I crept closer to the sound.
’We’ll slip in through this smaller hole!’
That bastard! Pretending to help while Kaede-senpai smashed down walls with raw muscle. Clever, in its own brute-force way.
I shadowed her, waiting.
”Well met, Kanon!”
”Grandmother—it ends here!!” Kanon shouted.
And with that, Mary and Kanon faced each other.
Heh. Look at them—so focused on each other they forgot the world. Perfect. I crept away, light on my feet. Now’s my chance. If I can find where the coins are hidden, they’re mine.
Or so I thought—until I turned the corner and ran right into someone.
”Ah!”
”Ah!”
I found myself staring down the barrel of Hakuryuu-sensei’s gun, mine aimed back at her. Damn it, I’d gotten this far! Fine. If it had to come to this…
”Hakuryuu-sensei, are you sure you want to pull that trigger?” I asked.
”W-what are you talking about?” she stammered.
I smirked, dragging out my words.
”If you kill me, then all those little lovey-dovey moments between you and Aqua-sama might just leak online…”
”Wha—hey!?”
No rules in this tournament. None. Did I feel guilty? A little. But my team’s victory meant more than my conscience. They believed in me, and that gave me the ruthlessness to weaponize even gossip.
[Nice one Hagetoru LMAO]
[This psycho LOL]
[Wait, isn’t Hagetoru infiltrating the Shirogane Kingdom right now?]
[Either way this is gold]
[Leaking Hakuryuu-sensei and Aqua-sama’s fluff—10/10 would read]
[Strongest move of the game]
[Couldn’t she have just done this to every team??]
[↑ Shut up! Don’t break the meta!]
”Well? What’s it gonna be?” I teased.
Hakuryuu-sensei faltered, lowered her gun for just an instant.
”Sorry, I can’t!” she blurted.
And then she dropped. One hesitation was all it took.
Sorry, Hakuryuu-sensei—on the battlefield, hesitation means death. If it had been Mary or Prime Minister Habu, they wouldn’t have flinched. Lucky for me it was her.
I pressed forward where she had come from. This was it. I planted my bomb against the shuttered wall—boom!—and the barrier gave way. Behind it, a treasure chest gleamed. I tore it open.
”Guys! All the coins are here!!” I yelled.
”Well done! I’ll respawn back at base first. Aqua, Inko, stall Merry’s team until Hagetoru escapes. Mikuni, grab that boat drifting under the cliff and go pick her up!”
”Got it!!!”
Those next few minutes were pure hell. My hands shook as I carried every coin back from Mary’s fortress to ours. One more hour. Victory was practically in my grasp.
Or so I thought.
”Look up! Missiles from the sky!”
”Oh crap! Mary-sama’s team noticed the coins are gone—they’re coming back with murder in their eyes!!”
”Why the hell are there so many missiles flying at our base!?”
”Kohina-senpai, that’s one of the new siege weapons from the last update.”
”Eeeek! Somebody help me!!”
The base trembled. I clung to a pillar as the floor shook. Going outside? Impossible. Snipers and RPGs surrounded us. And Mary’s sharpshooters? They could nail a one-pixel gap between two walls! Total cheaters in sheep’s clothing!
Kohina-senpai slammed her gun on the ground. “There’s no way we can win!!”
Just when defeat felt certain, a helicopter roared overhead. My stomach dropped. This was it.
”Rookie, I’ve come to save you!”
”T-Tenga-senpai!”
He leapt from the chopper like a hero—and broke his ankle mid-landing, dying instantly.
The fall was so perfect, so absurd, that everyone—us and our enemies—froze.
”Tenga-senpai!!”
”Seriously, what are you doing?”
”Shintaro!? Toa!?”
Toa-chan and Mayuzumi-kun bailed from the helicopter, rushing to set up a sleeping bag to revive Tenga-senpai.
”Why are you here!?” I asked.
”It was Tenga-senpai’s idea,” Shintaro explained.
”Of course! The finale had to be with all of BERYL together!” Toa grinned.
That’s BERYL for you. Inko, Mikuni, Kohina-senpai, and I all nodded, wordless but firm.
[BERYL reunion LET’S GO]
[This is what I wanted all along]
[Tragic: everyone alive except Tenga-senpai]
[↑ Shhh!]
[Wait, he’s revived now]
[Even enemies are waiting politely, bless]
[Mary-sama and President Atori pausing attacks—legends]
But peace lasted seconds before another volley of rockets rained down. We fought back, but their numbers overwhelmed us. Defending was always harder than attacking, and that’s why Mary’s crew were gods at this game.
”Thirty minutes more! We have to hold!”
”I’ll distract the enemy!”
”Gaaaah! Tenga-senpai nooo!”
I saw him spinning in the air, a human pinwheel. Honestly, only Hakuryuu-sensei could match his two-panel instant deaths.
”Shintaro, let’s head outside and thin their numbers!”
”Yeah, let’s do it.”
Damn it. What could I do? Anything? I grabbed a megaphone and charged outside.
”Please, everyone, stop! The boys are fighting to protect us—sob, sob!” I tried the damsel card, but it backfired instantly.
[LOL this psycho]
[She’s flexing her team comp mid-cry]
[Translation: full BERYL squad, jealous?]
[She’s literally pulling heroine moves lmao]
[Peak trash talk, love it]
[If she can still taunt, they’re fine. Base might hold.]
[I live for Hagetoru’s desperate energy]
[She just made everyone fire rockets with a straight face]
”W-wait, why are they attacking harder!?” I screamed.
This was BERYL! Couldn’t they cut us some slack? Instead, they blasted my corpse over and over. And then—oh no, no, no—our base tore open with a giant hole.
”Fifteen minutes left!!”
I respawned fast, ready to patch it, when someone leapt out of a helicopter right in front of me.
”Too bad, Hagetoru,” Mary sneered.
”Gah—Grandma Mary!!”
She leveled her gun at me. Oh, I was so dead. Not just me—chat knew it too. But then, someone else dove through the hole and smacked her gun aside.
”Seriously, Hagetoru, what are you doing?”
”That voice… Tashinami?”
I stared at her avatar’s back. Uh, was her character’s skirt really flashing white underwear like that?
”I came to settle the score,” she said.
”Uh, yeah, sure.”
Sorry, I wanted to appreciate the moment, but the image of those pristine white panties wouldn’t leave my head.
[KANON-samaaaaaaaaa!]
[Tashinamiiiiiiiiiiiiiii!]
[You’re the best!!]
[Amazing scene and this idiot only sees panties!]
[Don’t you dare zoom in on them, moron!]
I wrestled my gaze back to her. Damn trap—almost lost my soul right there.
”Oh? Did you come to lose again?” Mary asked.
”Not this time. Not when I’ve got everyone with me.”
Everyone? I tilted my head. From behind Grandma Mary, a wild gorilla—no, our Gorilla Senpai, Kaede-paisen—charged her. But Mary dodged easily.
”Predictable. Too easy.”
”Are you sure?”
”Nee-san!!”
Using Kaede’s back as a springboard, Nee-san launched forward, twin knives flashing at Grandma Mary.
[MORIKAWA is hereeeee!!]
[Nee-saaaaan!]
[The other BERYL we wanted!!]
[This is the Verification Team!!]
[Dirty BERYL has arrived!]
[‘Dirty’ BERYL LMAO]
[Not entirely wrong…]
[Whole Verification Team united—so hype!!]
[Mary-sama looks like the final boss]
[If Stars had just let Mary-sama run it, this wouldn’t have happened…]
[Yep, as a Stars student, I agree]
[This grandma’s way too strong lol]
[She really is the self-proclaimed strongest Grandma]
Grandma Mary smirked. “Still too sweet!”
No way!? She blocked even that!? But in that sliver of opening, Tashinami moved.
”Maybe one of us couldn’t do it. But four of us can!!”
”Impossible. Even four won’t be enough.”
Grandma Mary hurled Nee-san into Kaede, then swung her gun at Kanon.
Not happening! Before I could think, I grabbed her arm and clung on.
”Ugh!”
”Told you, Grandma. Four of us together are invincible!”
Kanon drove the finishing blow into Mary’s avatar.
”Well done. Splendid, Kanon,” Mary said as her character fell.
Wait… was she really dead? Just in case, I poked the body. Yep, down for good. Honestly, the fact that we only won four-on-one proved how insane she was. Honestly? I half-believed she could take on Aqua-sama in real life.
”Come on, everyone! We hold the line!” Tashinami shouted.
”Let’s protect it!”
”Let’s do this, Hagetoru!”
”Yeah! Thank you, all of you!!”
The Verification Team bumped fists, four together. Meanwhile, Kohina-senpai screamed in chat:
”Five minutes left—everyone hold on!!”
After that, my memories blurred. Attackers, defenders—we all fought like maniacs, laughing, shouting, desperate but alive. In the end, President Atori’s team won. While we guarded the base, she secretly formed a side squad and looted coins from the battlefield corpses. Classic Atori—always three steps ahead.
If Grandma Mary had gone full win-mode from the start, maybe… nah, no point in “what ifs.” Kanon’s return tournament closed after three wild days.
”Well then, everyone. I’ve got a dinner confirmed with Verification Team, so I’m heading out,” I said.
There wouldn’t be a big afterparty—we were all exhausted—but at least the four of us would eat together. I logged off, closed the stream, and set out to meet them.
Now came the real main event. Three days of fresh material, and I couldn’t wait to roast Tashinami to pieces at dinner.
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Edited by Kanaa-senpai.
Thanks for reading.
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