Volume 13 Chapter 311 Shirogane Kanon, Today My Husband Is Energetic Again
Edited by: Kanaa-senpai
”So, from this room you’ll be able to watch Shirogane Aqua-san’s condition!”
Big Sister (Onee-sama, T/N: elder sister honorific) and grandmother were guided by the staff of Berry-Berry into a surveillance room located inside the prison.
”If anything happens, you can give instructions from here. This time, let’s all do our best to make Aqua-sama as happy as possible!!”
”Haa…”
I glared at the Berry-Berry producer with narrowed eyes.
That line… can I really believe it?
Flustered by my stare, the producer shook her head and hands side to side in a panic.
”N-no, really, we won’t interfere this time! We were told to cut out any footage that can’t be used, so please rest easy!”
”Is that truly the case?”
When Elder Sister fixed the producer with a sharp glare, she whispered a tiny, “Yes.”
”Of course. A woman doesn’t take back her word, right?”
”Y-yes…”
Shrinking under grandmother’s gaze, the producer practically folded into herself.
Fufu. Thanks to Emily-senpai’s advice, bringing Elder Sister and grandmother here was absolutely the right call. Even if the staff planned some mischief, these two will keep them in line.
”Let’s see… I press this button and the monitor should light up?”
When I pressed the button, Aqua’s figure appeared on the big screen.
”Uhyoo~! This is my breast paradise!”
Seeing the girls strip down for inspection, Aqua’s face lit up with unfiltered joy.
My own expression twisted into something I couldn’t put into words.
”Fufu. Aqua-sama is so cute, getting that happy over breasts.”
I turned to grandmother on my right, glaring at her sidelong.
Seriously… isn’t she way more lenient with Aqua than she ever is with me?
”Good grief, desuwa. If breasts are all he wants, I can show them anytime. Mine are prettier in shape, and bigger too.”
My eyes widened at Elder Sister muttering complaints on my left.
Wait—has Elder Sister… softened toward Aqua too? The way she looked overlapped in my mind with Kohina-senpai.
”Prisoner number 4545, Shirogane Aqua convict. Stop spacing out and move!”
”A-Ayana!?”
Kyaa—Ayana-chan in a prison guard cosplay is so cool and cute!
Eh, does this mean we can actually interact with her in that role?
As I glanced around, Berry-Berry staff flashed a cue card toward me:
[Press the audio button to speak to the performers]
”Ohh, I see.”
”Let’s try pressing it,” grandmother said, and tapped the button with a cheerful click.
”Ayana-chan, shake your hips more! Use the iron bars for a sexy dance to please Aqua-sama!”
”H-hey, grandmother!?”
On screen, Ayana-chan flushed bright red at grandmother’s command.
”A-Ayanaaa!?”
Grabbing the iron bars, Ayana-chan began swaying her hips side to side like something out of a Western music video.
Aqua’s eyes sparkled with the pure wonder of a boy chasing bugs in summer.
”Thank you, thank you, thank you!”
Tears welled in Aqua’s eyes as he pressed his hands together in prayer toward Ayana-chan’s hips.
”I-I’m telling you, this wasn’t my idea!!”
Eyes wet, Ayana-chan shouted a parting line before storming off.
Sorry, Ayana-chan… grandmother made you do something so embarrassing.
”…Wait, I haven’t even gone into the cell yet…”
Left standing alone in the hallway, Aqua unlocked the cage himself and voluntarily stepped inside.
”As expected of Aqua-sama. Showing such readiness to atone… many sinners should see that example.”
”Good grief, desuwa. I can’t say I dislike this serious side of Shirogane Aqua.”
Grandmother, now a full-on Aqua-praise bot, was one thing. But Elder Sister—haven’t you also grown quite swayed by him?
If that’s the case, you can’t call me gullible anymore.
”Well then, nothing to do… guess I’ll just train for a bit.”
Hah!? Without warning, Aqua stripped down to his underwear and launched into push-ups, sit-ups, and aggressive pull-ups, using the iron bars and ceiling pipes as if this were his personal gym.
”Ara ara, my, my. This is practically turning into a fan-service scene for us. As expected of Aqua-sama—he can make someone smile no matter the time or place. Truly, there is no one more worthy of calling themselves an idol.”
”Fufu, I’m getting a little… stirred up.”
Elder Sister’s face softened with bliss as she gazed at Aqua on the monitor, her eyes hot with yearning.
Ehh… wait a second. Am I the only tsukkomi (T/N: the “straight man” role in Japanese comedy duos) left in this whole space?
I shot a subtle look at the Berry-Berry producer.
[Please hang in there!]
Geez! This is exactly why Berry-Berry staff always rely too much on someone else’s individual ability at the most important moments!
Fine then! I won’t do the tsukkomi either!! Blehhh!!
When I turned back to the monitor, Ayana-chan—who had fled earlier—returned, her face burning red with shame.
”Y-you, get outside! It’s exercise time!”
”Yeees!”
Hold up. Aqua already worked out plenty just a moment ago. Why is he so happy about more exercise?
Led by Ayana-chan, Aqua stepped onto the ground, where Kohina Yukari-san quickly tangled with him.
I wonder if things will be okay over there…
”Shirogane Aqua convict, it’s exercise time. Hurry up.”
”Okaaay!”
Unlike his curt reaction to Kohina Yukari-san, Aqua followed Ayana-chan with a bright smile. Passing through the wide yard, he entered a building at the back.
And there—dressed in scandalously revealing clothes—stood Shitori-san.
”Aa-chan, why don’t we do a fun, fun exercise together now?”
”Yeees!”
Aqua sat on the mat, spreading both legs at ninety degrees, then bent forward to stretch.
”Mmm, Aqua-chan, your body’s stiff and hard. Loosen up more…”
”Uff!”
Shitori-san lowered her heavy breasts onto Aqua’s back.
Hmph. So he really does like them big, huh.
”Aa-chan, what’s wrong? You can’t stretch half as much as before. Are you okay?”
She leaned close, then blew softly against the back of Aqua’s ear. His body jolted—his lower half springing upright in response.
Come on!! The staff just wanted to force this gag in, didn’t they!?
”As expected of Shitori-san. She knows what she’s doing.”
”Indeed. Among the Ero Twelve Divine Generals, she is truly a special existence.”
E-Elder Sister… wait, what? Ero Twelve Divine Generals? That’s just a knock-off of the Holy Aqua Church’s Twelve Bishops, isn’t it!?
What!? Don’t tell me it includes “Saint” Emily-senpai, “Fallen” Claire-san, “S***n-Extractor” Yui-san, “Essence-Sucker” Maron-san, “Underworld” Pegonia, “Master” Elder Sister, “Blood-Sister” Shitori-san, “Birth-Mother” Marin-san, “Service-Woman” Kythera, “Queen” Manaat-san, “Sex-Affair” Agewa-san, and “Always-Defeated” Hakuryuu-sensei!? Ughhh, stop it already, I’m dying of secondhand embarrassment here!!
”Aa-chan, you’re so stiff. Don’t worry, big sis will help loosen you up.”
Shitori-san’s hand slid down toward Aqua’s lower body.
W-w-wait a sec! That’s way too far!!
[We’ll cut it here, don’t worry!!]
The producer, eyes bloodshot, and a staffer, nose bleeding, stared at the screen with manic focus.
”Mmm, you’re even harder now. But it’s fine, your big sis will make you all soft again soon.”
And with those words, Shitori-san handled Aqua’s exposed part until he reached his finish.
Amazing. I’ve never seen Aqua with anyone else before, but with Shitori-san it’s… like this.
It’s nothing like when it’s me—where I’m pinned to the bed in an instant, my head all fuzzy until everything’s already over….
”Yay~! You did so well, letting big sis make you soft after being hard!”
”Th-thank you, Shitori-onee-chan…”
After finishing his “exercise time,” Aqua stepped back outside with a refreshed look.
Ladies playing prisoners, listen up! Don’t be fooled by Aqua’s sharp face right now—he was just doing pervy stuff inside that building!! I swear, I wanted to shout that through the speakers.
Instead, Aqua moved on to the cafeteria, where his face lit up as he accepted a plate of curry.
”Whoa! This tastes just like the curry from back home! So good!!”
Of course it does. The curry Aqua was eating with such a happy face—Marin-san was the one who cooked it.
He didn’t notice, but that person in the far back wearing a hat and mask? Yeah, that was Marin-san.
I glanced at the cue card held up by the Berry-Berry staff.
[Every day, Aqua-kun eats Marin-san’s home cooking. We’re also running a prank project to see when he realizes the meals are being made by his mom (okaa-san)!]
Yeah… with how things look, Aqua probably won’t ever notice.
In fact, I could already picture him, moved to tears by the familiar taste, grabbing Marin-san’s disguised hands and saying, “Miss, would you please cook for me forever?”—basically proposing on the spot.
”Come on, open your mouth already.”
”V-Victoria-sama!?”
Huh? I turned left, only to see Elder Sister had somehow slipped into the seat right beside Aqua. She scooped some curry with her spoon and held it out toward him.
”Fufu. A reward for your hard work. Here—say ahhh.”
”R-really? Is it okay?”
Aqua took the bite with a delighted expression.
So unfair! Intimate things like that… I mean, I’d die of embarrassment if people saw me doing something lewd in public, but if it were just this kind of sweet reward—I’d want to do it too! Elder Sister, why didn’t you invite me when you snuck out!?
”Aqua-sama, does it taste good? Then now, here—ahhh.”
”Grandmother Mary too!? Thank you so much!!”
What!? I looked right, only to see Grandmother Mary gone from her chair.
”Granddaughter, are you watching~? Your husband is here having fun eating with us, sharing ‘ahhhn~’ bites.”
Gnnnnn! I jumped to my feet, fists trembling. At that moment, Emily-senpai happened to pass by, and when she saw me, she burst out laughing.
”Tashinami, your judgment is too slow!!”
Ughhh!! It’s not my fault! Aqua looked so cute eating curry with that happy face, I just got all melty watching him!!
Don’t make me admit that out loud! Geez!!
Unable to bear the smug stares of the Berry-Berry staff, I turned my face away with a pout.
”After exercise time comes free time. Alright! Guess this really is just a part-time job.”
Aqua approached Manaat-san—aka Aburamotterucchi-san—to get some laundry work assigned.
Why do I have such a bad feeling about this…?
”Well then, I’ll be counting on you.”
”Yes!!”
With determination, Aqua rolled up his sleeves and picked up a bag stuffed with laundry.
”What!? Kanon’s laundry!?”
”Huh!?”
I shot to my feet, glaring at the producer.
Why the heck is my laundry here!?
[Special thanks to O.H-san for the cooperation!!]
That’s totally Hagetoru, everyone can tell from the initials!!
Ughhhhhh!!
”Oh-ho, so these are the lucky red ones Kanon wore during her speech… as expected of the Holy White Reporter, she’s on another level.”
”Hey!!”
Aqua spread out my used panties like a string figure, scrutinizing the faint stain at the crotch with a serious face.
Reflexively, I slammed the speaker button.
”Don’t spread them out, you idiot!!!”
”Huh!? That voice… Kanon!? Am I just hearing things…?”
”It’s not a hallucination!! And for the record, Aqua, every single thing you’re doing is being watched on the security cameras!!”
Chastised, Aqua hurriedly tossed my underwear into the washing machine and finally began scrubbing properly.
Seriously! If he was just going to wash them, why couldn’t he have done that from the start instead of unfolding them and inspecting the last place I’d ever want him to see!?
”Whoaaaa! Victoria-sama’s underwear!! And this one’s Grandmother Mary’s!? Incredible… I can’t believe they wear such flashy, sexy underwear…”
Elder Sister and Grandmother Mary, sitting beside me, both flushed scarlet.
Wait—when did the two of them come back!? And Grandma, after teasing me so much earlier, how can you show your face here again? What? “Teasing my grandchild is the secret to long life, so forgive me”? Ughhh… fine, but only sometimes, alright!?
Anyway, if it were just mine being stolen, that’s one thing—but don’t tell me Aqua also took their underwear without permission?
I glared at the Berry-Berry producer.
[Everyone except Kanon-san offered theirs willingly!!]
What kind of explanation is that!? So I’m the only one mad about this!? That just makes me look stupid!! Ughhh!!
Aqua picked up Ayana-chan’s underwear next. After making sure no one was nearby, he buried his face in the crotch and took a deep breath.
From off-screen, Ayana-chan came charging in at full speed.
”Aqua, you idiot!!”
”G-Gomen, Ayana. It was just a little impulse, okay? Okay?”
Honestly, Ayana-chan, Aqua’s body is tough, and he still has so much extra energy to burn… I’m sure poking him once or twice with that stun-gun baton you’re holding would be fine. Yep, totally fine.
Under Ayana-chan’s sharp, judging glare, Aqua quietly went back to doing the laundry without a word.
”Fufu, then here is today’s pay.”
”Yattaaa!!”
Clutching the cash in both hands, Aqua spread his arms wide in joy.
Yeah, yeah, if he just keeps earning money honestly like this, he’ll be released in no time.
Meanwhile, my eyes drifted to the smaller monitor, where Kohina Yukari-san was shown losing everything to Emily-senpai.
Yeah, this scene should totally air on national TV as a shared public program. It’d be good education for kids too.
I mean, there’s no way to ever beat Emily-senpai at gambling. She cheats so much she even outplays me—the girl with fate itself on her side.
Back in his room, Aqua locked the cage himself before lying down on the bed, staring up at the ceiling.
”Phew, I’m wiped out. Guess I’ll sleep.”
Just as Aqua started to doze off, someone slipped into the cage.
”Aqua-samaaa~ it’s time for your night massage~”
”F-Fran-chan!? And Ayana, and Maron-san too!?”
In came the three members of Eau De Cologne, dressed in swimsuits with barely any fabric.
Hey!! This is seriously not okay!!
[As expected of Teabag, the one arrested for being too lewd. This is too explicit to broadcast!!]
The producer made an X with his arms.
Yeah, even Berry-Berry can’t air something like this.
”Aqua-sama, Fran will give you a foot massage!”
”O-ohh, o-offf, Fran-chan, I can see everything from down here…”
Usually, when a boy gets stepped on by a girl—even for a massage—he’d resist, cry, or get angry. But Aqua? His face showed genuine bliss from the bottom of his heart.
”Aqua-kun. Give me your arm.”
”Maron-san’s Double Maron are wrapping around my armmmm!!”
Maron-san was probably just giving his arm a serious massage, but her breasts were so huge it looked like she was rubbing his arm up and down between them in a very obscene way.
”Come on, Aqua. Rest your head here, I’ll massage it for you.”
”…Hah!? That was close. Ayana’s lap pillow almost made me ascend…”
Lucky Ayana-chan. I wanted to give him a lap pillow too.
Just as I was thinking that, Emily-senpai strolled by and silently handed me the exact same swimsuit Ayana-chan was wearing.
Th-th-there’s no way I’m putting this on! Emily-senpai, you idiotttt!!
”Kanon, are you sure about that? If you won’t wear it, then I will.”
”Eh?”
Grandmother, you’re joking… right?
”Kanon, Grandma’s right. If you won’t wear it, then I’ll wear it instead.”
”Eh!?”
Even Elder Sister!? What is happening to you all!?
”Kanon, if you won’t wear it, then I will.”
”Eh!?”
This is bad. Hagetoru isn’t the type of girl to back down just because there’s a risk her identity might be exposed.
If anyone knows that, it’s me—Tashinami, the maiden of modesty.
”Th-then I’ll… I’ll wear it—”
”””Go right ahead!!”””
Eh!? I looked around at everyone’s faces, and they were all grinning so brightly.
Tricked!! Ughhh! This is just one of those classic Bulletin Board setups!!
Emily-senpai, Elder Sister, Grandmother, the Berry-Berry staff, and even Aqua—baka, all of youuuuu!!
—
Thank you for the Twitter poll results.
Even though I said in the last afterword there wouldn’t be one, because of the poll results, I’ve decided to do this from this perspective.
So next, we’re finally heading into the proper school trip arc.
Please bookmark this series and rate ☆☆☆☆☆ on here!
Edited by Kanaa-senpai.
Thanks for reading.
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