Volume 13 Chapter 335 Shirogane Kanon, Jealousy, Emily’s Ahoge Sensor, and the Secret Couple Mystery
Edited by: Kanaa-senpai
Mini-summary:
The Studio Commentary team, led by Shirogane Kanon, observes the dating show and runs an intimate cooking event for the male idol Aqua. Kanon puffs her cheeks in jealousy watching Aqua’s blatant flirting with the busty contestants, but her envy is quickly eclipsed when the close-quarters cooking scene with Kukuri Sumeragi and Aqua reveals a clue: Emily Yukishiro’s ‘Ahoge Sensor’ (Intuition) suggests the two might secretly be in a new relationship, throwing the show’s entire premise into chaos. The chapter ends with a surprising, more extreme bath-time event being set up for Tsukasa, giving the desperate producers new hope.
—
I found myself puffing up my cheeks as I watched Aqua on the monitor. Seriously, Aqua has been utterly smitten with all the big-chested older girls, like Tsukasa-sensei and Reira-san, this whole time! I know Aqua likes busty women, but did he really have to be so obviously affectionate about it?!
”Kanon-pon… you know you don’t have to force yourself to be here for the filming if you’re just going to be jealous, right?” Emily-senpai, back from the set for a break, gave me that classic side-eye look.
”But if it doesn’t look like I’m giving my full permission, everyone else will hold back!” I argued. “Besides, the more girls Aqua dates and the happier they get, the better it is overall.”
Even so, that doesn’t mean I’m not jealous. I usually manage to look away, but when I have to stare straight at the screen like this, there’s a part of me—a spoiled part—that can’t help but feel a little envious.
”You really do have a troublesome personality, don’t you? Well, it makes things entertaining, at least.” Emily-senpai chuckled.
It’s not entertaining at all! Ugh! Aqua just totally fell for Haa-chan’s acting—honestly! But, that just means he cares about me, right? Uuugh, I love him so much….
Just as I was swooning over Aqua, Kohina Yukari-san strolled back into the studio.
”Oh, welcome back!” I greeted her.
”Phew, I’m back. As expected, Reira was running wild out there. Once that girl makes up her mind, she acts fast, y’know? She doesn’t mind bending the rules and absolutely hates going the roundabout way.” Kohina-senpai thudded down onto the center chair. Immediately, Emily-senpai was there with a pre-strawed drink, moving like a total lackey. Watching Emily-senpai play the part of the devoted junior made me feel… well, something.
”So, are the rules getting sorted out smoothly?” I asked.
”Aqua is great at leading things like this and pulling everyone together. Though, the fact that Tsukasa-sensei hasn’t said a single word is starting to worry me…” I nodded at Toa’s concern.
Aqua must’ve been thinking the same thing, because he started tossing questions her way, helping her join the conversation. Sigh~ That’s my husband, all right. The coolest guy in the whole world…. He notices everything, he really does. I wanted to brag about him to everyone around me. What am I going to do? I’ve fallen in love with Aqua all over again today.
As I sat there with that utterly gooey look on my face, Emily-senpai, who was nearby, covered her mic and murmured, “Easy-Peasy-Kanon, bless your heart.”
Mooooooo! This isn’t a Bulletin Board; she didn’t need to risk commenting on that!
”Hey, since we have the chance, why don’t we use one of the cards Hakuryuu-sensei prepared? Just a test run?” I suggested.
”Yeah, I think that’s a great idea! I’ve been looking forward to using one!” chimed Toa.
”Me too,” I added, and the three of us looked toward Emily-senpai.
”Alright, should we go for it, then?” Emily-senpai grabbed the box filled with Event Cards. I noticed they were drawn at random, not selected.
”Ah, I’m getting so nervous, just thinking about the possibility of my card being read aloud.” Hakuryuu-sensei, who had been silently watching the screen until now, dramatically looked up at the ceiling. Go, Sensei, go! We all believe you can make this happen!
”Okay, Toa, you want to draw? You were looking forward to it, right?” Emily-senpai prompted.
”Yep! Thanks. I’ll draw the first one, if that’s okay?” We all nodded with a smile.
”Here I go!” Toa plunged his hand into the box, shuffling the cards inside before pulling just one out, making sure no one could see the writing on it.
”Um, what should I do with this?” he asked.
”Oh, I’ll announce it,” Emily-senpai raised her hand. “Can I have the card?”
”Sure, go ahead.” Toa handed it over. Emily-senpai read the contents, and then—BAM—she hit us with a shocking, over-the-top reaction face. Mooo, Emily-senpai! Stop with the theatrics! She and Aqua are the only two who always insist on putting on these little comedy bits, even though they’re both so incredibly good-looking. Why do they commit to comedy so hard?
”Right, the contents written on the card will be announced simultaneously on both sides, so I’ll first let the others know an Event Card has been presented.” Emily-senpai pressed the button on the mic in front of her, connecting the line to the speaker in the living room.
”Hello, everyone! This is your love coordinator, Yukishiro Emily! An Event has occurred, and I’m here to announce the details!”
‘Huh? An Event?!’ Aqua jumped up from the sofa, and the female participants also braced themselves. They must be so nervous not knowing what kind of Event it is. I get it.
”Starting now, you will be paired up to cook dinner together—it’s just about evening, so please make something for everyone to eat! However, only one of the four women can participate in this Event!”
”’EHHHH?!”’
Huh, they’re not letting everyone participate? I just assumed it would be an all-hands-on-deck thing. I hadn’t expected that twist. Hakuryuu-sensei watched the contestants’ reactions on the monitor, looking pleased. But how are they going to decide who the lucky lady is?
”So, with that, we here in the studio are going to select the participating female. Everyone on your end, please wait a moment!” Emily-senpai announced.
Huh? We get to choose?! Hold on, I can’t be given this much responsibility all of a sudden!
”So, that’s the deal,” Emily-senpai turned to us.
”Hmm, I see. For starters, I’m going to recommend Reira as a fellow industry veteran.” Kohina Yukari-san is fast on the draw! Wait, so personal reasons are okay? Then I’ll use a personal reason, too!
”Then I’ll go with Hermie. As her older sister, I want Haa-chan to succeed, and more importantly, Haa-chan is still just a kid! She’s at a disadvantage compared to the others, so this could help her get closer to the starting line.” Everyone nodded at my words. Maybe that was a bit of sisterly bias, but no one’s going to get mad at me for favoring family, right?
”In that case, I’ll push for my fellow industry junior, Tsukasa-sensei! Not only did I recommend her in the first place, but she also hasn’t been able to say much so far. I don’t think Tsukasa-sensei will speak up without an Event like this to force the issue.” That’s true. Tsukasa-sensei wasn’t involved in the conversation at all until Aqua tossed her a lifeline. She’s never going to take the lead just interacting with everyone in the living room.
Everyone agreed with Hakuryuu-sensei.
”Ehh, then I’ll also vote for the person I’m recommending: Kukuri! My gut tells me Kukuri’s hiding something. I think a joint effort between them will help uncover whatever that is… Hehe!” Emily-senpai gave a sly look.
Huh? Really? I don’t see it at all. Is it just me? But Emily-senpai’s intuition is bizarrely accurate, somehow.
”Hmm, then I guess I’ll choose Hisui-chan? It’d be more interesting if the five studio recommenders all split their votes. Besides, you Berry-Berry staff were counting on that with five participants and five MCs, weren’t you? See? That reaction! I knew it! Mooo, I know all about your guys’ nasty little tricks!”
H-He’s right! Now that he mentions it, that’s totally the case! The producers’ eyes collectively darted away from Toa. Wait, even Hakuryuu-sensei and Emily-senpai are pretending they just realized it now!
”How do we decide things like this?” I asked.
”Ehh, usually by discussion or majority vote, right?” Kohina Yukari-san paused for a moment after hearing my suggestion.
”In that case, I’ll change my recommendation from Reira to Tsukasa-sensei. Reira did a good job of appealing to him with her previous mess-up, so I’ll side with the one who hasn’t been able to make an appeal yet.”
”Oh, if that’s the case, I’ll change my vote too. I just picked someone randomly earlier, but I’ll switch to Kukuri-chan! Emily-san’s ‘something’ idea has got me curious!” Toa declared.
All eyes were suddenly on me. Right now, my pick, Hermie, only has my one vote. Meanwhile, Tsukasa-sensei has two votes from Kohina Yukari-san and Hakuryuu-sensei. Kukuri-chan also has two votes from Toa and Emily-senpai. Are they asking me to break the tie? Mooo! The ‘Berry-Berry’ staff are all smirking! They were planning on making me decide this from the start!
”Hmm, well, I’ll bet on Emily-senpai’s intuition and go with Kukuri-chan!” I decided. If something’s truly going on, maybe this will reveal it.
Emily-senpai nodded vigorously, then flipped her mic switch on again.
”The decision has been made! The first partner is Sumeragi Kukuri-san!”
‘Huh? Me?’
‘Damn it, I lost! Congrats, Kukuri-chan!’
‘Kukuri-chan, that’s great news! Congrats!’
‘Congratulations, Kukuri-senpai.’
‘Ugh… Kukuri-chan, congrats.’
Kukuri-chan blushed as everyone congratulated her, but she also looked a little awkward. Hmmmm, I see. Aqua looked a little awkward too. Emily-senpai’s intuition might not be far off after all. Emily-senpai gave me a smug look, her prideful cowlick (her famous ahoge) bobbing wildly like a sensor.
”Now, the rest of you who weren’t chosen must wait patiently in the living room until the two lovebirds finish their cooking!” Emily-senpai announced.
‘Ugh, how frustrating!’ Reira-san pounded the floor with an exaggerated reaction. Kukuri-chan and Aqua, meanwhile, headed to the kitchen.
‘We’ve got all the ingredients, so what should we make? Kukuri-chan, you can choose whatever you like.’
‘Eh? I get to choose? Um… then, Homme-rice,’ she managed.
Aqua’s Tomarigi special Homme-rice is amazing. I get it! We in the studio couldn’t help but turn to the ‘Berry-Berry’ staff and wear the most smug, triumphant expressions, silently declaring, “We’ve all eaten Aqua’s Homme-rice before!”
”””””Gnuuuh! Gnuuuuh!””””” they muttered in defeat. I actually like this. It’s good to make the ‘Berry-Berry’ staff, who are usually manipulating us, feel a little defeated sometimes.
‘Aqua-senpai, is the onion okay cut like this?’
‘Yeah, yeah, you’re doing great. Kukuri-chan, you look totally natural with that knife.’ Kukuri-chan had mentioned she started cooking for herself after moving into the same apartment complex as Emily-senpai, so she’s actually quite capable in the kitchen. The two stood side-by-side, cooking harmoniously. Aww, it looks nice. But wait, this is just normal Aqua behavior; it doesn’t seem suspicious yet. I wonder…
Emily-senpai, who was also watching them, flipped her mic switch on again.
”You two need to raise the love level! Hakuryuu-sensei is absolutely furious that it’s not intimate enough and she’s trying to bite Kohina-paisen!”
”Emily-chan!? I never said anything like that, and I certainly didn’t try to bite her!” Hakuryuu-sensei panicked at Emily-senpai’s lie. Seeing that, Kohina Yukari-san and the mischievous Toa jumped on the joke.
”Waaah, it hurts! Hakuryuu-sensei, s-s-stop biting!” cried Kohina Yukari-san, playing along.
”W-Waaah, Kohina Yukari-san is going to be eaten! Aqua, do something!” shrieked Toa.
Everyone here is such a good sport! Aqua heard the commotion through the speaker and looked momentarily flustered.
‘Oh no, Hakuryuu-sensei is going to get eaten by Great Kaiju Yukari-gon!’
”Why am I the one who’s biting Hakuryuu-sensei! Stop it, you fool!” Kohina Yukari-san fumed. Mooo, Aqua totally knows what he’s doing; he’s playing dumb on purpose! Hehe, Aqua is surrounded by so many funny people; I’ll never be bored.
‘Well, since the studio’s requesting it, how about we get a little more flirty?’ Aqua suggested.
‘Eh? Ah…’ Aqua got behind Kukuri-chan, wrapping his hand around her hand which was holding the whisk. He cracked an egg one-handed with his free hand, then started mixing the raw egg in the bowl, their hands intertwined. Aqua leaned in until his breath was ghosting on Kukuri-chan’s ear. Kukuri-chan, who’s usually great at hiding her feelings, went bright red. Yup, yup, I totally get it. I’m nodding over and over again while watching this as a veteran of such moves.
”Ooooh, Aqua-sama is so lewd!” Emily-senpai exclaimed, slamming a button she held in her hand. A lewd button? Does she press it every time she thinks Aqua is being lewd? Yeah, I guess this is pretty lewd. We all followed suit, pressing the button after Emily-senpai.
‘Aqua-senpai… you seem awfully practiced at this, don’t you?’ Kukuri-chan murmured.
‘Ah, when Kanon and I were first married, we used to cook together like this all the time—like we were wearing a two-person apron.’ Wait, what?! Why would you give away our intimate secrets on a broadcast?! Emily-senpai looked at me with a deadpan face and started furiously hitting the button.
”Kanon, you’re such a dmn-pervert¹…. You’ve been enjoying that envy-inducing event without telling any of us!” Emily-senpai accused.
”No, no, I was the victim! I was always the one being pulled along!” I protested! Well, yeah, that often led to us getting heated and doing things, and I might have started wearing a nude apron beforehand, waiting for him to notice! But why would you make me say that?! Moooo!
”As expected of Kanon. You didn’t even have to speak, but your entire face gave it away!” Kohina Yukari-san declared.
Mooooooo! This isn’t a show about teasing me! The ‘Berry-Berry’ staff were all smirking at my flustered expression. They’re definitely getting revenge for my earlier smugness. Humph!
The two successfully finished the Homme-rice, and Aqua started writing everyone’s name on it with ketchup.
‘Kukuri-chan, since we’re here, why don’t you write yours on mine?’ Aqua suggested.
‘Eh? In, in this position…’ she stammered. Aqua got behind her again, just like before, this time putting his hands on her waist, pulling their bodies flush together.Emily-senpai’s face went deadpan as she instantly hit the ‘lewd button’ again. Kohina Yukari-san muttered, “That guy’s at it again,” with a tired side-eye. Toa hid his blushing face behind his hands, peeking through his fingers at the monitor. Hakuryuu-sensei just stared up at the ceiling, frozen on her chair. Wait, Hakuryuu-sensei, are you okay?! You’re not dead, are you?! Oh, I see, that spot by the aisle is cold. Here, take my warm, fluffy blanket. Go on.
‘O-Okay. I’ll do my best!’ Kukuri-chan nervously held the ketchup bottle with both hands, slowly writing out the letters.
‘Oh, the ‘A’ went a little outside the lines,’ she noted.
‘It’s fine, it’s fine. Even that’s cute.’ At the word ‘cute,’ Kukuri-chan’s face turned scarlet. My face and Emily-senpai’s face went deadpan, and we both pressed the ‘Aqua is Lewd’ button simultaneously.
‘Phew, it’s finished,’ Kukuri-chan sighed, wiping sweat from her forehead. Aww, she’s so cute!
‘Really? Don’t you think something is still missing?’
‘Eh?’ Missing something? The Homme-rice clearly says “Aqua” on it…. Wait, I know! “Maybe it’s Useless Aqua? I think that’s his real name, actually,” I quipped.
Aqua took the ketchup bottle and drew a heart on the Homme-rice, right next to Kukuri-chan’s name. Ohhh, so that’s what he meant.
*’Hey, Kukuri-chan, aren’t you going to give me a heart?’* he whispered.
‘Ah, um… I, I will!’ Kukuri-chan took the ketchup bottle, her ears turning bright red, and drew a heart on the Homme-rice. So adorable! Could Aqua possibly not fall for a girl like this?… Wait, is there any girl Aqua wouldn’t fall for? I decided to stop thinking about that before the show’s entire concept collapsed. Kaede-senpai and Emily-senpai had both told me, with super serious expressions, that some things in life are better left unexamined.
”Hmm, suspicious,” Emily-senpai muttered, crossing her arms, which inevitably lifted her chest, as she glared at the two on the monitor. I didn’t think anything suspicious happened during that scene, though…
”Considering Aqua-sama’s personality, I think he’d write a heart on everyone’s Homme-rice once everything was done. But he only wrote one on Kukuri’s Homme-rice.”
”That’s true. As expected of Emily-chan, you’re observant.” Ah, now that she mentions it, yeah. He would write a heart on everyone’s. It’s not totally unnatural to keep it a secret between the two of them for the Event, making it sweet and exclusive, but I feel like the real Aqua would heart everyone’s.
”What if… they’re already secretly dating and just haven’t told us?” Emily-senpai suggested.
”””EHHH?!””” The three of us—myself, Hakuryuu-sensei, and Toa—all cried out in surprise. That was genuinely unexpected. Even the constantly smirking ‘Berry-Berry’ staff turned serious and flustered.
”…It’s possible. Kukuri-chan’s family situation² might make announcing a relationship complicated, even though the noble system is gone. Given your reaction, Kanon-san, you didn’t know anything about it, right?” Kohina Yukari-san pressed.
I nodded at her words.
”Thinking about it that way, if they are dating, it hasn’t been long. Aqua would never keep something like this from Kanon-san; he’s too honest, and he’d definitely tell the important people in his life. But he wouldn’t just blurt it out, either. He’d respect his partner’s position, and they’d likely agree to report it when they had a calm, opportune moment. For example, maybe after the next national tour when they have some free time. If that’s the case, they must have just started dating within the last week—or even just yesterday or today!”
Kohina Yukari-san’s speculation stunned us all. We stared at each other. We couldn’t know for sure based on this, but if they were dating, that timeline made perfect sense.
”…I’m so sorry. I think I just made things totally awkward for the two of them,” Emily-senpai said, a rare look of pallor crossing her face.
I quickly offered her reassurance. “No, no, this couldn’t be helped. You shouldn’t worry about it, Emily-senpai. Besides, even if they are dating, that’s a good thing, right?”
”Kanon… you really are the main wife, aren’t you?… Even if your jealousy kicks in right away, and your capacity—and that other thing—are small and tight.”
MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! That last part was totally unnecessary! I smiled sweetly back at Emily-senpai (a very unfriendly smile, mind you). But the atmosphere had instantly improved, so I guess I can’t ever win against Emily-senpai.
”Well, you’re right. This is just my personal, unconfirmed speculation, so for now, let’s just keep an eye on them, shall we?” Kohina Yukari-san concluded.
”Yeah, yeah, I think so too! If they’ve just started dating, it won’t be much different from when they weren’t dating at all! So we have to cheer them on with Events like this!” Toa insisted. We all nodded, agreeing with Toa’s sentiment. We turned back to the monitor, watching the happy participants enjoying the Homme-rice with warm, benevolent smiles.
Hang on. Wait a minute. Hakuryuu-sensei is silent. We all suddenly remembered she existed and instantly turned our gazes to her.
”No… way…. I finally tried to set them up, and they’re already dating…?” she whispered, utterly defeated.
Everyone except me rushed out of their chairs and started wrapping the blanket around the trembling Hakuryuu-sensei. Even the usually joking ‘Berry-Berry’ staff brought in a small heater to warm her up. Sensei, it’s okay. We all lost the prediction game this time.
”Hey, since we’re already here, why don’t we draw one more card for a post-dinner Event?” I asked.
”Good idea-ssu,” Kohina Yukari-san agreed. Emily-senpai passed the card box directly to her. Kohina Yukari-san took the box and immediately flipped it over, scattering all the cards onto the table.
”Wha—?! Kohina-paisen!”
”I’m not interested in randomly drawing! I’m going to personally select a card and make everyone super raunchy!”
Amazing. As expected of Kohina Yukari-san. She quickly glanced over the scattered cards on the table.
”This one! Here, Emily-chan!”
”Leave it to me!” Emily-senpai took the card and flipped on the mic switch.
”Testing, testing! Good news for those of you currently debating who gets to wash dishes with Aqua-sama with a round of Rock-Paper-Scissors! The next Event has been decided!” A chorus of surprised voices came through the speaker. What kind of Event did Kohina Yukari-san pick?
”It turns out the share house has a luxurious outdoor bath!”
”””Ooooh!”””
Wow, that’s actually incredible! Not only a pool but an outdoor bath, too?!
”A staff member will be coming to you now. Please draw one envelope from the box. The paper inside the envelope that has the Great Kaiju Yukari-gon stamp on it is the winning one! The winner will enjoy a bath time with Aqua-sama!”
EHH?! Is an Event like that really okay?! I looked toward Kohina Yukari-san. She stopped Reira-san’s previous chaotic antics, so I figured she wouldn’t allow anything that couldn’t be broadcast.
”By the way! This footage will be audio only. There are microphones set up in the changing room and the outdoor bath, but no cameras are installed, so please feel free to take your bath! HOWEVER! Just because we aren’t filming, you can’t go full skinny-dipping! You must wear either a large bath towel or a swimsuit. Please enter the bath while wearing one of them!”
Okay, that makes sense. That should be fine. The women cut open the envelopes with scissors and checked the papers inside simultaneously.
‘Rats! I lost!’
‘Ah, I lost too.’ Reira-san pounded the floor in frustration, and Hisui-chan looked crestfallen.
‘I lost, too.’
‘…Me, too.’ Kukuri-chan and Haa-chan held up the blank, losing papers to the camera. That means…
‘I-Is it me?!’ Tsukasa-sensei, who drew the winning ticket, nearly fainted from shock. Aqua quickly got behind her and caught her.
‘Sensei, you don’t have to force yourself if you’re uncomfortable or embarrassed. We can just talk after your bath, or…’ Aqua gently offered, but Tsukasa-sensei, blushing fiercely, shook her head.
‘N-No. I’ll do it. Hakuryuu-sensei recommended me, after all. I… I have to try my best!’
”T-TSUKASA-SENSEIII!” Hakuryuu-sensei, who was just a frozen corpse moments ago, instantly sprang back to life. “Even if I can’t win Aqua by myself, I know Tsukasa-sensei can! Tsukasa-sensei will do it!”
”That’s the spirit! Go get ’em!” cheered Kohina Yukari-san.
”Go, Hakuryuu-sensei, go!” We all joined in the cheering, giving Hakuryuu-sensei our support. The two chosen participants left the others behind after the dishes were done and headed toward the bath.
—
Notes and Insight
1 [dmn-pervert (どすけべ)]: A strong, almost old-fashioned term in Japanese, used here for comedic emphasis on Kanon’s implied scandalous behavior with Aqua. ↩
2 [family situation (華族制度)]: This refers to the historical Japanese nobility system (Kazoku). The narrative implies Kukuri comes from a high-status family whose societal standing, even if the system is legally dissolved, still creates complications and expectations around her public life and dating choices. ↩
Notes:
• Ken – Male. A rehabilitated man working in the mine. The fiancé of Akiyama Sachiko, the organizer of the party or one of the protagonist’s (Aqua’s) mother’s students (ikebana) appeared in Volume 2 Chapter 12. However, their engagement is not yet officially recognized, as the necessary documents have not been signed by all parties involved. Ken-kun behaves inappropriately during the event, attempting to flirt with Kanon and later becoming aggressive, even wielding a replica sword. His actions cause a disturbance, and he is eventually subdued and removed by the security team.
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Edited by Kanaa-senpai.
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