Chapter 87 The Collapsed Vagrant Confronts the Dragon Slayer Guildmaster
Edited by: Kanaa-senpai
In the middle of the town-hopping rounds, I found myself cornered by Ulgarte, the Guildmaster of the Adventurers’ Guild, and subsequently dragged into his office on the second floor. It was a place I had never once entered even when I was an adventurer myself.
The room’s walls were heavily adorned with weapons, armour meant for adventurers, and the ghastly, elaborate taxidermy and bones of monsters. The most eye-catching of these decorations was a massive greatsword, far too large for any human to wield, and a horn only slightly smaller than the sword, presumably belonging to a dragon.
I had only ever heard the tale in rumour, but Mr. Ulgarte was a self-made man who had begun as an adventurer. Those were, no doubt, the horn of the Big Horn Dragon he was said to have hunted during his active days, and his beloved sword, which had allegedly broken it.
And now, I was being fiercely glared at by this man of such tremendous strength, whose face, I might add, perfectly matched the description of a bandit boss—a true ruffian. My heart, I must admit, turned to ice.
”Oy, Kento!” he boomed. “You’ve got some nerve, trying to simultaneously marry and poach our ‘Mad Dog’ and our ‘Divine Bow⁴‘! Spit it out! What exactly is your game?”
It seemed he was under the misconception that I was attempting to poach “Mad Dog,” who was our beloved dog-beastkin Laika, and “Divine Bow,” who was our former regular, the Elf Tania, from the Guild by marrying them.
I couldn’t quite grasp why the act of me marrying them would constitute “poaching” from the Guild, or why I was marrying them at all. Or rather, I didn’t want to know the precise details, but I knew I couldn’t possibly ask for the investment that was my real purpose here until I cleared up this misunderstanding.
”It’s a misunderstanding, Guildmaster,” I said. “I certainly intend to take responsibility for them eventually, but I have no intention of doing anything with them right now. And even if I did, to call it ‘poaching’ is…”
”It is poaching!” Ulgarte roared, cutting me off. “I’ve investigated, and I know those two have been hanging around your shop lately and haven’t taken any Adventurer requests. I turned a blind eye because I was told it was for the production of that certain magic tool. But now you’re talking about marrying them?! If they get pregnant, they won’t be taking any requests, now will they!”
Ah, I see… I was beginning to grasp what the Guildmaster was so furious about. It was true that both Tania and Laika had been focused on work for my shop recently, especially since the re-release of the ‘Tremble-Ddo-Buddy’.
Tania, in particular, was the main labourer in our shop, capable of running the “taiyaki-maker-style metal mould”¹ all day long, and she had been continuously crafting ‘Ddo-Buddy’ units daily. From the Guild’s perspective, it must have looked as though I was working their valuable A-Rank adventurers—the very people they relied on for difficult requests—to the bone. But still.
”Even so, surely an adventurer is free to choose their own path in life?” I countered. “I don’t believe the Guild has the authority to restrict that, does it?”
That was the truth of it. Adventuring was an unstable profession, its only real advantages being freedom and the potential for high earnings. Joining or leaving the Guild was fundamentally up to the individual, and there were even those who travelled, moving from one Guild to the next.
”That’s why I’m telling you this,” he shot back. “Don’t let those two quit adventuring. The number of A-Rank adventurers is the strength of the Guild, and consequently, the strength of the town. We can’t afford to have them quitting so easily.”
And I understood Ulgarte’s point of view as well. In a world overrun by monsters, the presence of adventurers to repel that threat was crucial. If I, a person with no power, was able to survive in this new world when I first arrived, it was entirely due to the value placed on the adventurers’ work.
If just anyone could collect medicinal herbs, or if everyone could walk safely outside the town, I would have certainly perished somewhere before I ever had the chance to open my magic shop.
However, leaving Laika aside, losing Tania would drastically reduce the efficiency of my shop’s production line. I desperately needed to persuade him… Perhaps the “smack ’em with a wad of cash” strategy was the best approach here.
Of course, I didn’t mean to literally hit him with money. What I meant was that the Guild only needed to be receiving enough contribution from me that they wouldn’t mind Laika and Tania’s reduced activity.
”Speaking of which, Guildmaster, the Guild has been handling long-distance trade escort requests in connection with the re-release of the ‘Tremble-Ddo-Buddy’, have they not?”
”Oh? What’s that to do with anything, you little pest?” he growled.
”Now, now, just listen calmly,” I said. “Those requests wouldn’t have even existed if my shop didn’t exist, would they? Besides those, we’ve also put out material collection requests for Red Slime and for the ‘Pororo Snail’³ materials, haven’t we?”
”Y-Yeah… Well, I appreciate that, I do…”
”And then there’s the sale of the low-cost recovery potions for novice adventurers, as well as the collection requests for the materials used to make those potions, right?”
”Ah… They’ve become indispensable items and requests for the beginners, they have…”
”And furthermore,” I pressed, “as I believe I informed you in advance, my shop is currently seeking investors to coincide with the launch of our new product…”
”Just get to the point, what are you trying to say?”
Ulgarte, with his bandit face, sharpened his glare even further as he fixed his eyes on me. His voice was low and gravelly, full of menace. I felt like I was about to wet myself. But I couldn’t back down now.
I thought back to my adventuring days, adopted the “face and voice” taught to me by the ruffians for when you didn’t want to be underestimated, and opened my mouth while glaring right back at Ulgarte.
”I’m telling you, you old geezer, quit your whining if you don’t want my shop to pull out of town! Damn it!”
The former lowest-rank adventurer and the former A-Rank “Dragon Slayer” adventurer stared each other down, neither willing to yield an inch. It was like a street cat fight; the one who looked away first loses.
I was fully confident he could kill me with a single flick to the forehead, but there was no way I was going to lose. It was just then that the office door swung open, and the ruffians came piling in.
Both Ulgarte and I instinctively looked over, and Ruffian A, Abram “Iron Fist,” stepped forward. He plonked himself down beside Ulgarte, slung an arm around his shoulder, and spoke.
”Ulgarte, you lose. Heh-heh, I can’t believe you let yourself be outmanoeuvred by ‘Kento the Collapsed Vagrant’²!”
”Abram, you bastard! Who says I lost?!”
”Heh-heh. You lost, Boss. We’ll keep working hard, so just let him do what he wants!”
”That’s right, that’s right. If this guy really pulls out, we’ll be totally cut off, along with all the beginners!”
”Gh… Gnh…”
Ruffian B, Balliston, who had the face of a kidnapper, and Ruffian C, Carl, who was Aki’s sister’s husband, also sat down beside me, lending their support. These men truly were the best, despite their terrifying appearances.
”Fine, fine, I get it! You miserable, loitering thugs… Who do you think is playing the bad guy for all your sakes?!”
”Don’t worry so much, Ulgarte. We’ll be lifelong adventurers! We’re ruffians, after all—we couldn’t do any other kind of work even if we wanted to!”
Abram slapped Ulgarte’s back repeatedly. Watching this, Balliston and Carl leaned in, whispering to me with knowing looks.
”Sorry about that, Kento. See, the Boss here, he’s the only one who became Guildmaster, a desk job, and he feels bad about it compared to us.”
”We’re all married men now, after all. He probably thought he didn’t want to put a burden on us. And what’s the point of shifting the burden elsewhere, right?”
I understood now. I seemed to have been dragged into a drama of raw, masculine friendship. It left me with a mixture of envy, indifference, and hassle, but there was one thing I had to clarify before anything else. Now seemed like a good time to get a straight answer.
”Wait a minute, where did this talk of me marrying Tania come from? It goes for Laika too, but I don’t think she has any intention of quitting adventuring, does she?”
”Huh?! But, well…”
Ulgarte made a noise of surprise, and the gazes of the ruffians and myself immediately pierced him. He looked embarrassed, and slowly, he began to speak.
”When ‘Divine Bow’ came by yesterday, I asked her how long she intended to run errands for a magic shop, and she said, ‘I intend to be Kento’s companion for life’…”
It goes without saying that the ruffians thoroughly interrogated me about the rest of the conversation afterwards.
* * *
”That was a horrible experience…”
Leaving the Adventurers’ Guild, my steps were unsteady from all the emotional strain as I headed towards my house. I had managed to secure three investment commitments, so my town-hopping rounds for the day were finished.
Still, why had simply making a declaration about having children led to all this… I racked my brain over the settlement of my female relationships, which had been far heavier a burden than the business negotiations. No, I knew perfectly well that it was a mess entirely of my own making, but still…
I renewed my vow to never carelessly approach a woman again as I walked through the town. Along the way, I remembered I should probably buy a ring or something, and I was walking along, peering into shop windows as a sort of practice run before bringing Lily here, when…
My eyes fell upon a suspicious figure lurking near the entrance to an alleyway of the town, wrapped in a pitch-black hooded robe. The attire was suspicious, and the movements were equally strange. They were constantly looking around, walking to the right for a while, and then turning back to walk to the left—the very picture of shifty behaviour.
In fact, recently, this type of suspicious person had been frequently spotted in this area. These suspicious people were invariably female, and their numbers had increased sharply ever since my shop re-released the ‘Tremble-Ddo-Buddy’. I approached the suspicious person and spoke, trying to project the most suspicious air I could muster.
”Are you, by chance, looking for a magic shop…?”
—
Summary:
Kento is cornered by Guildmaster Ulgarte, who mistakenly believes Kento is poaching A-Rank adventurers Laika and Tania by planning to marry them, but Kento successfully argues that his shop is too economically vital to the Guild to risk its closure, with the help of the other ruffians; Kento learns Tania declared her intention to be his companion for life and is then confronted by a mysterious, suspicious, cloaked female figure in the town’s alleyway.””
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Character Insight:
Kento, though a “Collapsed Vagrant,” proves he can adopt a tough facade and stand his ground, a survival skill from his past as an adventurer, demonstrating a situational willingness to overcome his typical timidity when his business interests are threatened. Ulgarte’s anger, initially interpreted as hostility, is revealed to be rooted in a deep-seated feeling of inadequacy as a “desk worker” compared to his active adventurer friends, highlighting a complex loyalty among the ruffian group.””
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Behind the Scene:
The concept of “town-hopping” (ドサ回り – dosamawari) in Japanese is often used for going on a performance tour to rural or less prominent areas, but here it is re-contextualised for a business or sales trip, underscoring the magic shop’s efforts to expand its reach and secure funding.””
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T/L:
¹ A “taiyaki-maker-style metal mould” is a reference to the special pan used to bake the Japanese fish-shaped cake taiyaki, here repurposed as a mould for the sex toy. ↩
² “Kento the Collapsed Vagrant” (Kento the Collapsed Vagrant) is an unflattering epithet Kento was given during his early, unsuccessful days as an adventurer, which implies a failure to thrive or a pathetic state. ↩
³ The “Pororo Snail” is a fictional creature within the world, likely harvested for specific materials used in the shop’s products. ↩
⁴ The “Divine Bow” is a nickname used by the Guild for the Elf adventurer Tania, referencing her exceptional skill with a bow and arrow. ↩
Notes:
• Kento – The owner of the magic tool shop ‘Harvest,’ which discretely sells adult goods. He’s a former overworked, ordinary salaryman from modern Japan who was suddenly transported (isekai’d) to this fantasy world. He has dark hair and an unremarkable appearance, typically wearing a plain, slightly suspicious-looking shop owner’s clothes looks like Kazuma Satou from certain series. He has a minimal amount of magic power, enough to craft his specialty items.
• Laika – The beastwoman dog.
• Tania – An Elf adventurer who, despite her race’s reputation for low sex drive, is secretly quite passionate. She initially seemed ‘wasted’ (emotionally dry) to her friend Raika, but was easily introduced to the pleasure-items sold at ‘Harvest.’ She is easily embarrassed and attempts to maintain a dignified facade, despite her recent, frequent purchases. She wears practical but light armor over a simple cloth tunic and short pants, highlighting her grace and agility. Her primary relationship is one of friendly senior-junior with Raika.
• Lily – the sl*ve and primary experiment subject for the magic shop, ‘Harvest.’ She has striking pink hair, Blue eyes, medium breasts, which the Protagonist associates with being ‘wanton’. She has a working knowledge of magic, which she kept hidden from the slave trader.
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Edited by Kanaa-senpai.
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