Chapter 170 The Scent of Ruin ①
Edited by: Kanaa-senpai
On that day, Lady Kushe, the Head Court Mage of the Coalmine Kingdom¹, caught a whiff of “ruin” through a sheer, inexplicable intuition.
It wasn’t anything as dramatic as a prophecy or a literal sixth sense. It was simply a vague, natural realization—the kind where one perceives something as an objective fact and thinks, “Ah, something is coming to an end.”
She had experienced these sorts of sensations sporadically since her youth. Sometimes they heralded good fortune, other times misfortune. It had happened when the family dog passed away, and again when she successfully completed development on the new magic weapon, “Matomeru-kun².”
So, which would it be this time? Logically speaking, “ruin” suggested ill tidings.
However, that didn’t necessarily mean the ruin was hers. There was always the possibility that it signaled the downfall of the Canaria Kingdom³ army, currently locked in a tense standoff across the border.
”Good grief…” Kushe said quietly.
While tracing the scent of “ruin,” she made her way toward the maintenance bay for Matomeru-kun as per her usual routine. In the current theater of war, the weapon was utilized solely to keep enemy mages pinned down, but it would be a disaster if the device failed to fire in a moment of crisis. Meticulous maintenance was an absolute necessity.
Along the way, she spotted the soldiers responsible for security and patrol duties. They were a hard-luck unit that had been toyed with by a mysterious magic troop during the winter and battered by enemy volunteers since the spring; in Kushe’s estimation, they were a group perpetually stuck with the short end of the stick, rarely seeing any glory on the battlefield.
”C-Captain, it’s happened again! We’ve intercepted another woman trying to slip across the border!” a soldier said.
”What…? Good grief, how many is that this week? Don’t they realize there’s a war on? Do they have no regard for their own lives…?” the captain replied.
Kushe’s assessment was spot on; they were once again occupied with a troublesome and tedious task. Normally, she would have ignored it as business as usual. But today, with the scent of ruin lingering in her nostrils, she found herself inexplicably curious. She drifted toward them and spoke up.
”Hey there. Sounds like you’ve run into a bit of a problem,” Kushe said.
”L-Lady Kushe! No, well, it’s certainly a strange—or rather, bizarre—incident, but I wouldn’t call it a problem, per se…” the captain answered.
Kushe was, above all else, the Head Court Mage. Even among the prestigious ranks of the court, she was treated as an elite. Furthermore, the very foundation of their current war effort rested upon her creation, Matomeru-kun.
To a common soldier, she was a figure of immense importance, second only to General Van Valedda. The guard captain hesitated, stumbling over his words.
”Never mind the pleasantries. So, what’s this about women trying to sneak across the border?” she asked.
”Well, that is, yes…” the captain replied.
It was a delicate situation. He respected her, but she was a self-admitted eccentric, and he questioned the wisdom of disclosing the specifics of their security reports. But more than that…
”It’s fine, it’s fine. Come on, show me. I wants to hear what these women have to say,” Kushe said.
”I-I understand…” the captain replied.
Paying no heed to his clear internal conflict, Kushe forced him to act as her guide. She trusted her intuition as much as her own intellect—though at this particular moment, she was beginning to doubt her instincts.
”What… is this…?” Kushe asked.
”It’s called a ‘Ddo-Buddy⁴,’ apparently…” the captain replied.
At the guard station, the items confiscated from the women were lined up on a desk. No matter how one looked at them, they were ddos modeled after the male anatomy.
”Umm, well, she is an adult woman, I suppose? I’m aware that the male anatomy is occasionally referred to by such names…” Kushe muttered.
Even the esteemed Lady Kushe couldn’t help but blush at this unexpected ambush. She was unfazed by academic discourse or the crude banter of soldiers, but having realistic ddos and a vulgar moniker thrust upon her so suddenly was another matter entirely.
”No, that’s not it… This isn’t about slang for the anatomy. The actual product name of this ddo is ‘Ddo-Buddy,’ ssu,” the captain explained.
”Huh…?” Kushe asked blankly.
Kushe felt a sudden, overwhelming urge to return to her room and sleep for a week. What did he mean, a product name? Even if she conceded that selling such items was a valid business, what kind of person would name them “Ddo-Buddy”…
It was beyond idiotic. She genuinely questioned the sanity of anyone capable of manufacturing and naming such a device.
”So, what exactly are you trying to achieve by showing me this…?” Kushe asked.
Was this a form of sexual harassment? She didn’t consider herself particularly feminine, but she couldn’t rule out the possibility that the captain was some sort of degenerate. Kushe fixed him with a cold, suspicious glare.
”N-No! I didn’t mean any disrespect! It’s just that lately, the number of women attempting to defect has surged, and every single one of them is found clutching these ddos! I only wanted to inform you of the pattern…!” the captain said, panicking.
The guard captain scrambled to defend himself. He was, evidently, quite normal. He had also clearly conducted a thorough investigation, as he proceeded to lay out several flyers and a single pamphlet on the desk.
”Well… the details from here on get even more vulgar. If it’s too much, please don’t feel obligated to look…” the captain said quietly.
”…I’d really rather not, but my intuition is insisting I see this through. Can I get a summary first?” Kushe asked.
”Y-Yes… It appears these are promotional materials for a specific magic shop,” the captain replied.
”A magic shop…?” Kushe asked.
”Yes. One that seems to deal exclusively in these sorts of crude items. Apparently, the shop is located in Canarias⁵, the capital of the Canaria Kingdom…”
Kushe felt a dull ache throb in her temples and began to massage the bridge of her nose. She didn’t want to confirm it. She really didn’t. But her intuition was screaming at her with increasing intensity.
”…You’re not going to tell me those women were risking their lives at the border just to visit that shop, are you?” Kushe asked.
”That’s exactly what happened…” the captain replied.
Her suspicion was confirmed, and Kushe let out a heavy sigh. To think that while they were locked in a life-or-death struggle, their own citizens were risking everything for these vulgar magic tools… What had happened to the moral fiber of the nation’s women?
”We’re at a loss as well… We have to file a report, but we have no idea how to phrase it…” the captain said.
”True. If General Van gets wind of this, he’ll likely have an aneurysm on the spot…” Kushe said.
Reluctantly, Kushe reached for the pamphlet. Normally, her obsession with magic items meant she couldn’t ignore any new mechanism or effect, no matter how minor. But this time, she felt a profound sense of dread.
She flipped through the pages with distaste, scanning the moronic product names and descriptions. But then, she realized her intuition—which she had almost discarded—was frighteningly accurate.
”L-Lady Kushe…?” the captain asked, noticing the sudden shift in the air.
Kushe didn’t respond; her eyes were glued to the pamphlet. She leaned in closer and closer, as if the pages were drawing her in.
The captain couldn’t help but wonder if the Head Court Mage was just another woman after all, or if this was just her usual brand of madness. His concern grew when he saw the corners of her mouth begin to twitch upward.
On the other hand, Kushe was beyond such trivialities. Even to her eccentric mind, these items were built upon a level of abnormal passion that defied logic.
Specifically, the “Tremble-Ddo-Buddy⁶” and “Hot-Hot Ddo Buddy⁷.” ddos that could vibrate or generate heat with a simple touch, all without the use of a magic stone.
It was nearly impossible to believe. But if such a thing actually existed…? I have to see it for myself. As a researcher, I cannot let this go unverified!
”Lady Kushe…!” the captain cried.
Without a second thought, she snatched a “Ddo-Buddy” from the desk. It was an unknown object—the materials were a complete mystery to her, though she could sense a faint, almost imperceptible trace of magic.
Was this where that scent of “ruin” was coming from? She instinctively gave it a sniff. Since the guards had cleaned it thoroughly, it only smelled of soap, but she could still sense “that” scent lingering within…
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Summary:
Head Court Mage Kushe senses an impending ‘ruin’ through her keen intuition while performing maintenance on her magic weapons. She discovers that women from her kingdom are risking their lives to defect to the enemy territory of Canaria. The motivation is revealed to be an adult magic shop selling sophisticated goods. Upon examining the products, Kushe’s intellectual curiosity as a researcher is ignited by the inexplicable technology behind the toys.
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Character Insight:
Kushe’s reaction highlights her dual nature as a woman and a researcher. While her initial response to the ‘Ddo-Buddy’ is one of social embarrassment, her scientific obsession quickly takes over. The ‘ruin’ she senses appears to be a disruption of the magical status quo, as the shop’s technology presents a level of innovation that challenges her own high-level understanding of magic circuitry.
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Behind the Scene:
The author uses ‘Matomeru-kun’ (Mr. Organizer) as a contrast to the vulgar names of the adult goods to emphasize the difference between the Coalmine Kingdom’s utilitarian magic and the shop’s hedonistic innovation. This chapter serves as the ‘hook’ for the scientific subplot within the adult-comedy framework.
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T/L:
Notes:
• Kushe – The Chief Mage of the Coalmine Kingdom. She has dark green hair grown out haphazardly and wears a mage robe loosely over her shoulders. She has a blunt, informal, and somewhat insensitive personality, focused on her ‘thinking experiments.’
• Van Valedda – The General and Marquis overseeing the operation. He is the father of the current Queen and grandfather to the First Prince. He has black hair mixed with white, a neatly trimmed beard, and carries an air of calm dignity. He is elderly and suffers from old wounds in his knees.
• Soi – An old professor from Ajire seminary, the first to raise a question. Looks like wizardly.
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Edited by Kanaa-senpai.
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