Chapter 245 The Ddo-Buddy Cannon ②
Edited by: Kanaa-senpai
The collaborative research into the Ddo-Buddy Cannon with the court mages Satsuki and her senior, Marsetta, began with the grueling task of making them wrap their heads around its internal logic and structural ideology.
”Lord Harvest,” Marsetta began, “why exactly is the Testicular Circuit² shaped like this? I assume it’s modeled after actual anatomy, but in a human, that’s just for efficient storage. I don’t see why we need to go out of our way to mimic it in a magical construct…”
”Actually, I had the same thought,” I explained. “I tried lining up the circuits in a straight line once, but for some reason, the mana efficiency tanked. I suspect the way the circuits overlap or their specific physical distance prevents the mana from just bleeding away…”
”Okay, Kento, then what’s this deal with the temporary storage mechanism?” Satsuki asked, pointing to another section. “Since we’re pooling the mana in the Seminal Vesicle anyway, this seems redundant.”
”I’m still a bit skeptical about that part myself,” I admitted. “But if you try to funnel the mana produced in the ‘Ball Circuits’ directly in, it causes a massive strain when you try to merge the flow from the left and right sides. I’m working on the theory that ‘primary accumulation’ in the Epididymis Circuit³ followed by ‘secondary accumulation’ in the Seminal Vesicle Circuit⁴ is the most efficient path.”
They were genuinely brilliant students. They didn’t even flinch at the batshit-insane concept of a “magic weapon based on the internal structure of a dick.” Instead, they tore into the Ddo-Buddy Cannon with sharp questions and analytical rigor.
I have to admit, it was a bit of a bummer that I was talking about dicks with two women in their prime and the atmosphere wasn’t even remotely sexy, but the truth was, we were too busy for that.
We traded opinions with deadly seriousness until long after the clock struck midnight. Of course, the Queen’s messengers had already alerted my house that I’d be staying late, so I wasn’t worried about the time.
”Whew, can we take five?” Marsetta asked, rubbing her eyes. “I thought I was getting used to Lord Harvest’s circuit logic after analyzing that staff, but this is way more intense than I expected…”
”Tell me about it,” Satsuki agreed. “My brain is hitting its limit…”
As Satsuki sighed, Marsetta brewed three cups of something that tasted like sweet black tea. Apparently, the court mages’ lab had a built-in kitchenette. It was a facility clearly designed for people to live in while they worked-a sobering look at how hard Her Majesty worked them on a daily basis.
I mean, the Queen makes them research lewd magic tools for her own hobbies, and now I’ve got them analyzing blueprints for a weapon that looks like a giant porn prop. Yeah, this is definitely my fault. Though, to be fair, I doubt they’re researching lewd stuff every single day.
”By the way, Marsetta,” I asked as I sipped my tea, “were you involved in the Ddo-Buddy research before?”
She got a distant look in her eyes. “Oh… I was. Was that really over a year ago already? My specialty is magic ordinance, so I wasn’t on it full-time, but man, those were some rough days…”
Satsuki joined in on the thousand-yard stare. “I was on it full-time,” she muttered.
”Looking back, things were peaceful then,” Satsuki continued. “Maybe being a court mage is happier when you’re just doing stupid research like that…”
”Mm, I feel you. I know we’re hired for emergencies, but with one thing after another lately, I’m starting to think I’d be perfectly happy if I never had to be ‘useful’ again…”
Sucking down their tea and chatting, their eyes eventually drifted back to the blueprints. Part of it was the sugar kickstarting their brains, but I could tell they were anxious-none of us knew how long Zil Meina would stay quiet.
”By the way, do you have the drawings for the ‘Vesicle Circuit’ too?” Marsetta asked.
”Yeah, right here. I haven’t heard back from Kushe about integrated circuits yet, so this part is my own original design…”
”Mm, thanks… Ah, I see. It looks like it’ll do the job, but… at this rate, the circuit will probably burn out after just a few shots.”
”Exactly. That’s the bottleneck. I heard Coalmine’s integrated weapon, The Aggregator⁵, can be fired daily and even handle rapid fire. We’re not even in the same league.”
”True… Satsuki and I can tweak it a bit, but if Ms. Kushe from Coalmine is joining us, our efforts might just end up being a waste of time.”
The technical debate went all over the place. The thing about ultra-compact magic weapons is that they rely on brute-forcing incredibly dense circuits onto a small surface. That meant packing a ton of paths into the ‘Ball Circuit,’ which was a mechanical nightmare.
On top of that, we had to bridge the integrated circuits and figure out the barrel design. We needed to keep the mana from dissipating, try to boost the output, and use the barrel for aiming.
And even once they understood the blueprints, that was only the beginning.
”Alright, let’s spend today and tomorrow mastering the schematics,” Marsetta said, massaging her temples as the fatigue returned. “We need to get to prototyping fast. With something this complex, we’re going to run into a million problems during the build.”
Everyone finished their tea, and the exhaustion was starting to show again.
”True…” Satsuki said. “Hey Kento, the scale isn’t on here. How big is this thing actually going to be?”
”Well, it depends on how well the ‘Ball Circuit’ performs and how much space we need for the ‘Vesicle’… but probably, the total length will be about the size of two grown men lying head-to-toe.”
Theoretically, the bigger the “member,” the bigger the bang. To get enough power to pierce Zil Meina, that was the size we were looking at.
Any bigger and it becomes impossible to move. Any more pressure and the barrel might snap-or worse, the balls might explode. In more ways than one, I really wanted to avoid that…
”I see. I’d better clear some space in the courtyard for assembly then…” Satsuki mused, pacing around the lab. “If we can, we should make the ‘Ball Circuit’ modular… and then there’s the barrel… Oh, and the materials. We have those samples we imported from Coalmine…”
Completely lost in thought, Satsuki wandered around. Managing the logistics was probably her job as the junior member of the duo. Not to mention her specialty was material resonance.
I could see her brain working overtime even through the exhaustion. And then, without a word, Satsuki walked over and quite naturally sat right down on my lap.
Plop.
”…”
”…”
The air in the lab turned to ice. Marsetta and I just stared, eyes wide. Satsuki didn’t even notice; she just kept staring off into space, lost in thought. I spoke up, very carefully.
”Uh… Sa… Satsuki…?”
”What? I’m thinking. Give me a second.”
”I mean, I don’t really mind, but…”
”Then stay still.”
She leaned back against me, just like she used to do after a long “experiment” at the Harvest Workshop⁶. Her hand reached up and started fiddling with my ear and stroking my cheek-a total subconscious habit while she was thinking.
I was happy for the rare bit of affection, and I’d been planning to give her a reward for her hard work anyway, but I couldn’t help but notice Marsetta. She was next to us, shaking as she tried not to laugh.
”Yeah, but… Satsuki, I think you’re going to be really embarrassed in a minute. Actually, it’s probably way too late for that…”
”Huh…? What are you—”
And then it hit her. Her hand was still pinching my cheek as she looked at me, then the blueprints, and finally, Marsetta. It was a sight to behold. Her face turned beet-red in a split second, and she launched herself off my lap like a spring-loaded pirate jumping out of a barrel.
”I-I-IT’S NOT LIKE THAT!! I DON’T-WE DON’T USUALLY-THAT WAS-!! IT WAS JUST AN ACCIDENT! YES! ACCIDENT! YOU JUST LOOKED LIKE A COMFORTABLE CHAIR!!!!”
”Pff-! Ahaha! Ah-ha-ha-ha! Oh, Satsuki! That was amazing! You looked like some thirsty girl who couldn’t wait five seconds to pounce on her boyfriend! Ahaha! AHA HA HA HA HA!!”
Satsuki kept shouting her transparent excuses while Marsetta slammed the desk, howling with laughter. Eventually, we decided we’d hit our limit, and the research was adjourned for the night.
—
Summary:
Kento works late with Satsuki and Marsetta to finalize the complex blueprints for the Ddo-Buddy Cannon, a weapon modeled after male anatomy. They discuss the technical difficulties of mana accumulation and the projected massive scale of the prototype. The session ends in comedic chaos when an exhausted Satsuki accidentally sits on Kento’s lap and begins stroking his face while lost in thought, leading to intense embarrassment once she realizes the situation.
—
Character Insight:
This chapter highlights Satsuki’s extreme dedication to her work; she enters a ‘flow state’ so deep that her subconscious physical comfort-seeking behaviors (inherited from her time at the Harvest Workshop) manifest even in a formal setting. Kento’s reaction shows a growing comfort with his harem-like dynamics, as he is more concerned with her future embarrassment than the intimacy itself. Marsetta serves as the grounded ‘straight man’ who transitions into a chaotic teaser, bridging the gap between professional mages and the personal lives of the protagonists.
—
Behind the Scene:
The naming convention of ‘Matomeru-kun’ (localized here as ‘The Aggregator’) follows the common Japanese trope of naming helpful household or industrial tools with the ‘-kun’ suffix, creating a stark contrast between the cute name and its destructive potential as a magic weapon. The ‘pop-up pirate’ metaphor is a direct nod to the famous ‘Kurohige Kiki Ippatsu’ toy ubiquitous in Japanese households.
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T/L:
Notes:
• Marsetta – A senior court mage and specialist in magical weaponry. She has disheveled hair tied back, wears glasses, and has deep dark circles under her eyes from lack of sleep. She hasn’t eaten in two days and is under heavy pressure to find a countermeasure for the enemy’s weapons.
• Satsuki – A talented Court Mage who was forced to analyze the shop’s adult magic tools. Miranda’s granddaughter. Now she’s the new worker at Harvest, a development she finds both humiliating and surprisingly fulfilling due to the rapid progress in her research under Kento’s guidance. Has long black hair, palace mage robe, and staff.
• Kento – The owner of the magic tool shop ‘Harvest,’ which discretely sells adult goods. He’s a former overworked, ordinary salaryman from modern Japan who was suddenly transported (isekai’d) to this fantasy world. He has dark hair and an unremarkable appearance, typically wearing a plain, slightly suspicious-looking shop owner’s clothes looks like Kazuma Satou from certain series. He has a minimal amount of magic power, enough to craft his specialty items.
• Kushe – The Chief Mage of the Coalmine Kingdom. She has dark green hair grown out haphazardly and wears a mage robe loosely over her shoulders. She has a blunt, informal, and somewhat insensitive personality, focused on her ‘thinking experiments.’
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Edited by Kanaa-senpai.
Thanks for reading.
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