Volume 1 Chapter 11 A Dime a Dozen
Edited by: Kanaa-senpai
”–!”
Suddenly, my consciousness snapped back.
”Huh…?”
I pushed myself up and started patting my body down. Not a single wound. My lounge sweats were exactly as they’d been-right down to the elastic at the wrists starting to fray.
I looked around. Nothing. Just an endless, shimmering white void stretching out forever.
”Hello? Is… anyone there?” I called out, the silence making me twitchy.
That’s when a glowing sphere came bobbing toward me. I braced myself, but it stopped just out of arm’s reach.
”The hell is this thing?” I muttered.
”I am not a ‘thing’!”
A young woman’s voice rang out. As she spoke, the sphere’s light flared, bleaching out my entire field of vision.
When the glare finally faded, I squinted and saw a woman standing there, draped in a white toga. Her hair was a cascading river of silver-white that spilled all the way to the floor, and her skin was a pale, almost sickly white. She looked like she was caught right on the edge between girlhood and womanhood-a refined, haunting beauty that clearly didn’t belong to this world.
”I am the Goddess. The Goddess Inuanna–“
she began.
”…”
”The one who presides over life, death, and the cycle of reincarnation.”
”Oh. Uh… okay,” I replied.
I couldn’t really wrap my head around the situation, so my response came out a bit flat.
”So… does the Great Goddess have some sort of business with… well, me?” I asked.
”Gah! Why are you being so calm!?” she snapped.
”Huh?”
”You died, you know! You were disemboweled! Over and over! Squelch, crunch-your insides were all over the place! You were beaten and kicked until your jaw was torn open and your limbs were bent in directions they aren’t supposed to go! It was a horrific, agonizing death! Normally people are wailing, or screaming, or at least angry! And then you look at me and give me… nothing?! You should be prostrating yourself! Worshipping my divinity! Or at least feeling some sort of inappropriate, base desire! Something!”
”…Is that how it usually goes?” I asked, after a pause.
”That’s how I wanted it to go! Ugh! Honestly! Now I don’t even get to show off my overflowing maternal instincts!”
What was this? Any mystical image I had of her just blew away. She looked like a little girl playing dress-up, acting all high and mighty. Pout, pout.
Wait, was my death really that messy?
I’d heard a bit about what happened to the company afterward from Toda-san¹ and Mamiya-san², but… did that guy really hold that much of a grudge against me?
But whatever. It’s over now. He’s probably ruined his own life too. We’re even.
Better to deal with what’s in front of me.
”So… I’m dead, and this is the part where you tell me you’re reincarnating me in another world?” I asked.
”Ahem… What? Yes. Exactly. …How did you know that?”
”Because it’s a dime a dozen,” I said.
”A dime a dozen!?” she shrieked.
”Yeah. A total trope.”
”A… trope…?”
”Happens all the time.”
”All the time!?”
I mean, someone’s probably reincarnating every single day like it’s a revolving door. At least in fiction, anyway.
”Ahem… Well, it helps that you’re quick on the uptake,” she said, clearing her throat.
”Don’t mention it.”
Her expressions were flipping like a strobe light. It was actually kind of funny. Though if I kept thinking like that, she might slap me with a blasphemy charge.
”Then I’ll get straight to the point. You’ll be reincarnating into a world of swords and magic³. In terms of your old world… the standard of living is roughly medieval, leaning toward the early modern era.”
”I see…”
I sat through a long-winded explanation of this and that. It was your standard “Other World” fantasy setup.
”Well then, let’s get you on your way,” she said.
”No, I’m good,” I replied.
”Step onto the reincarnation circle and–…Wait, what?”
”?”
”What did you just say?” she asked.
”I said, I’m good.”
”Good…?”
”Yes.”
”Is that your way of saying, ‘Sure, let’s do this’?”
”No, it’s my way of saying, ‘I’m passing on the whole reincarnation thing.’”
Japanese is a tricky language. The Goddess just stood there, stunned. Her blank expression made her look even more like a kid. Wait, does her world use Japanese too?
”Wait… you can’t be serious. If you don’t reincarnate, your existence will just… vanish! You’ll return to nothingness!”
”Yeah, I get that,” I said.
”Wait, you get it? Really? Like, for real? Yeah… you actually sound like you mean it…”
I didn’t exactly know what “nothingness” felt like, but that’s just what death is, right? Honestly, knowing I wasn’t headed for Hell was a relief.
”But don’t you have any regrets? You seemed like you were doing pretty well before you died! There was even someone you were into, wasn’t there?! You weren’t exactly the ‘suicidal’ type!” she yelled, getting desperate.
Whoa, she was really pushing it. I think her spit hit me.
”I mean, yeah, sure, but… honestly, I just want to rest,” I said.
”You sound like an old man! You’re not even thirty! Life is just starting!”
”Maybe, but… now that I’m dead, whatever will to live I was clinging to is just gone. It feels like no matter what I do, I’ll just screw it up again.”
I had regrets. But those belonged to the world I left behind. There was nothing for me in a new one. If I could just turn into nothing and forget it all, that sounded a hell of a lot easier.
”And thinking about having to adapt to a whole new world all over again…? No thanks. I’ll pass.”
Fantasy worlds are for reading, not for living in.
She shouldn’t underestimate the modern Japanese person.
We have food, clothes, and shelter as a basic right. We have electricity, gas, water, and internet as long as we pay the bills. The hygiene is great and the medicine is top-tier. As long as you follow the law, you’re free. There’s endless entertainment. It’s safe. Well, except for the part where I got stabbed.
There is no way a guy raised in a world that soft could survive in a fantasy land.
It’s a feudal society. Your head rolls because a noble is in a bad mood. A Japanese person who grew up addicted to freedom of speech would be on the chopping block in a week. I mean, look at me-I was killed in modern Japan just for annoying the wrong person.
And the food? My palate is Japanese… though I guess that might change if I reincarnate. But I’d never be able to recreate the tastes I remember. I definitely don’t have the skills to cook from scratch. Long live processed foods!
I don’t have a special talent. I don’t have some obsessive knowledge I can use to revolutionize industry. I’m just me.
At the end of the day, I’m the ultimate mediocre guy who thrived on the back of modern infrastructure. I wouldn’t last five minutes in another world. I’d probably struggle just moving to a different country on Earth.
Sure, magic sounds cool, but ten to one I’d end up using it to kill people. If I can avoid war and murder for the rest of eternity, I’m taking that deal.
”Ugh… you’ve got to be kidding me…”
The Goddess slumped, clearly not expecting a rejection. She looked like a tragic painting even when she was sulking. She really was beautiful.
Actually, if I could get a “cheat” power, maybe… If I was like one of those light novel protagonists, maybe I’d have a shot.
I was just starting to waver when the Goddess suddenly snapped back to life.
”…So, as long as it’s not a new world, you’re fine?”
”Huh?”
”If it’s not an ‘other world’… if it’s a world you already know, you’ll reincarnate, right!?”
”Wait, what are you–“
”If it’s the same world, you’ve already adapted to it!” she shouted.
”!? No, that’s not what I–“
She didn’t let me finish.
”Into the circle you go!”
”Hey, wait!”
”Get in there!”
I tried to fight it, but some invisible force lifted me off the ground. I was helpless.
”I never heard anything about reincarnating back into the same world!”
”I just made it an option!” she yelled.
”Your Goddess act is slipping!”
”Shut up!”
”Wait, do I get a cheat power or something then…?”
”Of course not! Welcome to reality!”
”Is ‘reality’ something a Goddess should be saying!?”
”Goddesses have problems too, you know!!”
Dammit, this was bad. The same world? It didn’t matter what era or country she dropped me in, I didn’t think I could make it work.
”Fine, I’ll take the fantasy world–“
”Too late! No changes! Now sit still! Resistance is futile!”
”You sound like a villain!”
I was hovering directly over the glowing circle.
Is this really happening?
”I don’t have to do this! There’s no law!” I screamed.
”I have a quota to hit!”
”A quota!? This is for your own career!?”
”Yes! This is my first assignment, and I am not losing it because of you!”
”It’s your first time?! –Wait–!”
A pillar of light erupted from the circle, drowning out her face.
”…Phew. Done! Oh, wait. Ahem. May your new life be filled with many blessings. …Yes! I finally got to say it!”
As my consciousness faded, the last thing I heard was her trying to sound like a Goddess again.
—
Summary:
The protagonist wakes up in a white void after a gruesome death and meets the Goddess Inuanna. Despite her attempts to sell him on a fantasy world reincarnation, he refuses out of a desire for rest and a fear of medieval hardships. In a desperate move to hit her quota, the Goddess tricks him into reincarnating back into his ‘same world’ instead.
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Trivia:
- The protagonist was killed by being disemboweled and beaten to death.
- Inuanna is a novice goddess; this is her first reincarnation assignment.
- The protagonist explicitly prefers modern convenience over magic.
- Inuanna mentions she has a ‘quota’ (norma) to fulfill.
- The protagonist’s name has not been stated in this chapter yet
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Character Insight:
The protagonist shows extreme pragmatism and genre-savviness, rejecting the ‘Call to Adventure’ because he recognizes his own lack of survival skills in a non-modern setting. Inuanna is shown to be highly emotional, performative, and professionaly pressured.
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Behind the Scenes:
The title ‘A Dime a Dozen’ refers to the protagonist’s view that Isekai stories are ubiquitous and predictable.
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TL Notes:
Notes:
• Inuanna – Goddess of life, death, and reincarnation. Approximately 15 years old appearance, 150cm. Hasty and pure personality. Goddess who presides over life, death, and the cycle of reincarnation. Clad in a white toga with flowing silver-white hair reaching the floor and sickly pale skin. Appears to be on the boundary between girlhood and womanhood.
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Edited by Kanaa-senpai.
Thanks for reading.
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