Volume 1 Chapter 13 Unreachable Feelings
Edited by: Kanaa-senpai
”Sayaka, you okay?” I asked.
”……Yeah,” Sayaka replied.
Paisen¹ is quitting the company.
When I first heard the news, I thought it was some kind of joke, but seeing Sayaka’s reaction made me realize it was real.
”Here, Sayaka…”
”…Thanks,” Sayaka said.
I bought a juice from the vending machine and handed it to her.
This time of day-just before 2:30 PM-was usually when Paisen came to the breakroom. The reason was simple: it was the quietest time. He even mentioned he tried to keep his schedule clear of meetings during this window. Once we heard that, we started showing up then too, as if by some unspoken agreement.
Just to chat with Paisen…
”…Should we head back?” I asked.
”……Yeah,” Sayaka said quietly.
We waited for a while, but Paisen never showed up.
I checked his calendar, but his schedule was like Swiss cheese-full of holes. Even though those blocks were technically blank, he was apparently so busy he didn’t even have time for a break.
Is quitting a company really that much work?
After that, we never got a chance to catch him. We finished our work like usual, and a little before the closing bell, we started getting ready to go home. Paisen wasn’t at his desk. He was stuck in a meeting, just like his schedule said.
”…What should we do? Want to wait?” I asked.
”……No, it looks like he still has work left. We shouldn’t get in his way,” Sayaka replied.
”I guess so…” I muttered.
I wanted to talk to Paisen directly, but I couldn’t catch him. I wanted to do something about this quickly, but the uncertainty left me feeling restless and frustrated. The air grew heavy, and my conversation with Sayaka died out.
”Mamiya-san, Toda-san, you girls have time after this?”
Nozawa-senpai was the one who called out to us. She couldn’t stand seeing us looking so visibly depressed and invited us out for a meal. I wondered if it was okay with her child, but she said it was her husband’s turn to handle things today, so it was fine.
The three of us left the office and walked about fifteen minutes to an izakaya². She picked a private room so we could talk in peace. Nozawa-senpai ordered a beer. I… I wasn’t in the mood, so I just went with an orange juice. Sayaka ordered the same.
”Is Paisen really quitting…?” I asked.
”Oh, there’s no doubt about it,” Nozawa said. “He was talking with Sasada-department head with various things. It looks like he’s running around like crazy trying to organize his remaining tasks and coordinate the handovers.”
””……””
I never dreamed that a workaholic like Paisen would actually quit. I mean, even after he collapsed and was hospitalized, he tried to go straight back to work the moment he was discharged, right? He’s great at his job, he’s respected by his juniors… I thought he’d be the one leading us forward from now on.
Paisen is a huge part of why this company feels comfortable. The seniors near his age are all full of energy because of him. The pay isn’t great-apparently-but I know plenty of seniors who only stay here because of him.
”You should probably just accept it,” Nozawa said. “Actually, it sounds like Satake decided he was moving on before he hit thirty even before he joined this place.”
”…Is that so?” I asked.
”Yeah. He said he chose this company because ‘they have a lot of big-name clients and build so many different systems, so it’s the best place to rack up practical experience.’ Then he said, ‘I’m going to use that experience to sell myself somewhere else.’ To him, this company was just a stepping stone.”
Paisen really does think ahead… Unlike me, who’s just desperate to learn the job right in front of my face.
But I guess it makes sense. Even in his second year, when his boss was putting him through something close to bullying, he just took it head-on. He used to say things like, ‘The EXP is juicy, but seriously, what is with Tanahashi? That ikemen face just makes me angrier.’ Paisen really does live in a different world from us.
That’s what made him look so cool to us. Maybe that’s why we looked up to him.
”Well, it sounds like Tanahashi-section chief finally pushed him past his limit with the workload, so Satake is using this as his excuse to finally pull the trigger,” Nozawa explained in a breezy tone, trying to keep us from worrying.
Despite all his complaining, Paisen has a strong sense of responsibility. He probably couldn’t stand leaving things half-finished and just lost track of when to quit.
…Maybe we were part of the reason he stayed as long as he did.
”It’s not like your connection is severed just because Satake’s quitting,” Nozawa said. “Plenty of my work friends have quit, but I still keep in touch with some of them. We even go out for drinks sometimes!”
That was true. I still talk to friends from middle school, high school, and college. But Paisen… right now, if we don’t corner him before he leaves the office, we can’t get a hold of him. If he goes to another company, he’ll just vanish.
”You two have Satake’s personal contact info, right? Not the work one,” Nozawa asked.
”…Yes, sort of,” I replied.
”Then that means Satake is comfortable enough to let you into his life outside of work… or, who knows, maybe he’s even interested in you?”
We’d basically forced him to add us back then, just by shoving our IDs at him. I remember my heart rate going through the roof when the friend request from Paisen finally came through. I got so excited I even sent him an off-shot photo of Sayaka… Teasing a bright-red Sayaka about it afterward was so much fun.
”But lately… I’ve been sending him messages since last week, and he hasn’t even read them,” I said.
”…What the hell is that idiot doing?” Nozawa muttered.
There was no response to individual or group chats. It was the same for Sayaka. Hearing that, Nozawa-senpai buried her face in her hands.
It doesn’t matter if we have his info if he won’t reply. Paisen doesn’t want to talk to us. Paisen is trying to cut us off. I started feeling like we were just a nuisance… like we were being too pushy… like we were just getting in his way.
My mental state was in tatters. I could tell Sayaka felt the same. And then, the final blow: the news about Paisen’s terminal leave³. I just didn’t know what to do anymore.
”Is that guy more of a basket case than I thought…?” Nozawa asked.
””……””
I always just assumed Paisen was strong. He had clear values, he never flinched in the face of trouble, and he always put up with his juniors’ selfishness… But I was wrong.
Paisen was already at his limit. He was so drained he couldn’t even stick to his own rules anymore. He was falling apart. He’d always been so stubborn about not mixing work and private life, yet he gave us his contact info. He’d always refused to show weakness to his boss, yet he ended up taking a forced leave of absence. He’d always been so hell-bent on not becoming like his superior, yet he let himself get close to his female colleagues-to us.
”…Maybe we really should just… leave him alone for a while,” I said.
As soon as the words left my mouth, my chest tightened so hard it hurt. I wanted to cry, but the one who probably really wanted to cry was Paisen.
”No, actually, it’s the opposite,” Nozawa said.
”Huh?” I asked.
”That guy needs to learn where the damn brakes are. He works too much. He needs to get a girlfriend and find some actual balance. Honestly, he just needs to get married already. He’s at that age. ‘I don’t mess with colleagues,’ my ass! Stop acting like some noble feminist! What, you’re saying my husband is the same breed as Tanahashi? In what universe does that face look like Tanahashi’s? Talk about a massive ego!”
Nozawa-senpai, apparently fed up with the whole situation, started snapping at Paisen’s ghost. She slammed back her beer and ordered another.
”Alright, listen up. Both of you-go out there, reel Satake in, and become his women!” Nozawa declared.
””!? “”
”If he’s quitting, he’s not a colleague anymore! There’s zero reason you can’t lay a hand on him!”
I was stunned by the sudden bombshell. Sayaka and I just stared at her, wide-eyed. My brain couldn’t even process the emotion, but the tears definitely dried up.
”Wait, I… I mean…” I stammered.
”Oh, come on, Mamiya-chan, anyone with eyes can see you’re crazy about Satake. One look at how much you mess with him and it’s obvious! Toda-chan, you see it too, right?” Nozawa asked.
”Y-Yes… I also thought Kei-chan had feelings for Satake-san…” Sayaka said quietly.
Hearing someone point out the feelings I’d been trying-no, pretending-not to notice made my heart start racing. Wait, did I accidentally drink some of that beer?
”But… I’m supposed to be supporting Sayaka…” I said.
Exactly. Paisen is a one-of-a-kind guy for Sayaka. I only know the story of how he saved her back in college during that joint tennis practice, when some creeps were making her cry, but Paisen is the only person I’ve ever seen Sayaka laugh with so naturally.
”Kei-chan… I’m happy you feel that way, but I don’t want you to hold back for me. …I think you need to tell him how you feel, properly,” Sayaka said.
”……”
”I know you’ve always looked out for me and protected me from guys… and Satake-san is the only man you’ve ever let your guard down around…” Sayaka continued.
Sayaka… she noticed that too?
But I don’t want to fight over him. I don’t want things to get weird between us. It would be so much easier if I just stepped aside…
”Ugh, why are you two trying to turn this into a tragic love triangle?” Nozawa asked. “…Actually, I guess it is a triangle, in a way. But were you listening? I said both of you should go for it.”
””……? “”
”Both of you become Satake’s girls. Do you understand?” Nozawa said firmly.
””? ? ? “”
…Is this woman for real? Has the alcohol finally rotted her brain? I traded a confused look with Sayaka.
”Satake is a freak. A guy that weird needs two of you just to keep him balanced. You know how difficult he is, right? Always dodging with some clever remark, laughing while he pushes your buttons… God, I’m getting annoyed just thinking about it,” Nozawa said.
Nozawa-senpai shoved a piece of yakitori into her mouth and washed it down with a massive gulp of beer.
I think you were already annoyed, Senpai…
”Listen. That guy isn’t going to make a move on his own. He’s too busy playing the stoic hero. I mean, he is a good guy, but once you create a ‘fait accompli,’ he’s the type who will take full responsibility for everything. He’s an easy mark! If you two team up, you can take him down with pure physical force!” Nozawa laughed.
””……””
Wait. Is she literally telling us to… jump him?
I mean, I’d be lying if I said I hadn’t fantasized about it once or twice. Trying to seduce him… even if he shuts me down every time. On those nights when I was too worked up to sleep, Sayaka and I had even found solace in each other.
I looked at Sayaka again, and suddenly, my face felt like it was on fire.
Because paisen⁴ had always drawn a line between us, it usually ended as nothing more than harmless flirting. But from now on, that wasn’t going to fly. He wasn’t just a colleague or a senior anymore; I was going to start treating him like a man.
”As long as there are two of them, even a logic-obsessed workaholic will turn into a normal, horny… no, an erotic monkey! Yeah, I’ve outdone myself this time. Even Satake is getting hit on by two cute younger girls. Honestly, he should be thanking me. He should be paying me a finder’s fee. Hic… I wonder how much I can shake him down for…”
Nozawa-senpai grinned – or maybe she was just snapping – as she clutched her cup of hot sake. Sayaka and I kept glancing at each other, sharing a troubled laugh.
Eventually, Nozawa-san moved on from paisen to the other men in the office, and finally to her husband. The complaints just kept coming, one after another.
”…Seriously, men don’t understand women at all. ‘Madoka, you’re still plenty attractive’? What the hell does ‘still’ mean?! Is it because I’m not young anymore? Once you have kids and hit your thirties, is that just it?! Is it over?! Ugh, it’s just so depressing…”
Marriage sounds like a lot of work.
Listening to Nozawa-senpai vent, the weight that had been sitting in my chest started to lift.
”Ugh… the air is so warm… I feel sick… blurgh…”
”Nozawa-senpai, are you okay?” I asked.
Nozawa-senpai settled the bill, and we left the bar. We tried to pay as a thank-you for her listening to us, but she stood her ground, fueled by a senior’s pride.
”If I let you kids pay, Satake will laugh at me for the rest of my life,” she insisted.
After seeing Nozawa-senpai off in a taxi, we headed toward the station to go home.
”Hey, Sayaka,” I said.
”Yeah?”
”Do you actually like paisen?”
”…Yeah,” Sayaka replied.
”I mean… as a man?”
”……Yeah.”
”I see…”
Nozawa-senpai had made her opinion clear, but I wondered what Sayaka was really thinking.
Personally, I’d started to think he was great. I’m pretty sure I like paisen. But I also want to stay friends with Sayaka.
paisen is kind to Sayaka but teases me. Then I complain, and Sayaka laughs. But every once in a while, he’s actually nice to me, too. I thought it would be fun if the three of us could just keep hanging out like that.
”…Should we invite paisen to the share house?” I asked.
Sayaka just giggled.
”Wait, what’s that laugh for…!?”
”Nothing,” Sayaka said.
”That’s not an answer! Why did you laugh? Come on, Sayaka!”
”It’s a secret.”
”What secret?! Are you trying to kick me out or something!?”
”I wonder…” Sayaka teased.
”Wait, wait, seriously! You’re joking, right? Tell me you’re joking!”
”Fufu…”
”Sayaka!”
* * *
A week later, paisen stopped showing up at the office. Just like that, he quit.
The fallout at work was immediate. Following in paisen’s footsteps, Ogura-san and Hirose-senpai quit too. That was just the start; twelve people resigned within two months. Among them was Shimizu-senpai, who had taken over Sayaka’s training – though he at least made sure to finish the OJT⁵ first.
With nearly half the department gone, projects ground to a halt. The company had to scramble for help from other sections. Word is there’s going to be a total personnel reshuffle after the New Year.
I’ll never forget the sight of the usually composed Okubo-section chief⁶ absolutely losing it, laughing his head off.
By the way, Tanahashi-section chief quit, too. No one said it out loud, but everyone knew the chaos was his fault for driving paisen out. Rumor has it he’s also facing a divorce because he couldn’t keep his hands to himself. Serves him right.
The sudden workload made me want to quit too, but I’m a rookie; nobody else would hire me. Besides, I didn’t have a good enough reason to leave Sayaka behind.
Then there was our private life.
Following Nozawa-senpai’s advice, Sayaka and I both started making moves on paisen. His guard was as high as ever, but we’d made enough progress that he’d at least hang out with us on the weekends.
paisen should have been relieved to be out of that company, but he seemed lonely. He looked restless, like his heart wasn’t really there. Even when he was with us, I’d catch him sighing when he thought we weren’t looking.
But I refused to be negative. I told myself he was just out of his element after being a workaholic for so long. Once he had some time to rest… or once he found a new job, he’d snap out of it.
…Actually, if I didn’t make a move before he found a new job, he might just forget about us entirely. I had to do something before he got his second wind.
The only problem was, I didn’t know how to “make a move.” Neither Sayaka nor I had much experience with romance. We knew the basics of middle-school crushes, but adult relationships were a total mystery.
Still, I couldn’t rush it. If I panicked, paisen would just play me like a fiddle. I had no choice but to go back to Nozawa-senpai for advice. After all, she was the one who actually landed an older man.
”Momentum is everything,” she told me.
”I see!”
”Just dive in. You can make him take responsibility for it later.”
”Got it-ssu!”
This Thursday was paisen’s birthday.
It had been a pain to figure that out. I’d actually had to “borrow” his driver’s license from his wallet when we went to the aquarium just the other day. Honestly, the man was a fortress of secrets.
Since we had to scramble for a gift, we decided to just give him Sayaka and me. Yeah, it was his own fault. He’d just have to take responsibility.
When Thursday finally arrived, I bought a surprise cake after work and headed straight to paisen’s place with Sayaka. I’d even used my first day of paid leave for Friday so we could stay out all night. Or even through the weekend…
”Kei-chan… maybe we should have dressed up a bit more?” Sayaka asked.
”No way. That would just put him on guard. This is a tactical strike. We want him to feel safe,” I explained.
”I hope this works…”
”Besides, it’s late! He won’t have the heart to kick us out in the middle of the night.”
”I have a feeling he’s just going to call us a taxi and call it a night…” Sayaka muttered.
Damn. I hadn’t thought of that. Why did he have to be so difficult?
”Whatever! We’re going for broke!”
”Ah, wait up, Kei-chan!”
We took a train we rarely used and walked about ten minutes from the station. Following the map on my phone, we headed for paisen’s apartment. But as we got closer, the entire neighborhood was bathed in a pulsing red light.
”…Did something happen?” Sayaka asked.
”Maybe paisen sensed us coming, tried to make a run for it, and got himself arrested?”
”I don’t think even Satake-san could manage that…”
Sayaka and I laughed, weaving through the crowd of onlookers. We were only a few dozen yards from the spot on the map when the acrid smell of smoke hit us. It was thick.
”I think it’s right there, but…”
”……”
A yellow police line blocked the street. We couldn’t go any further.
Even if we could have crossed it, the place was in no state to celebrate a birthday.
Fire trucks, ambulances, and police cars were everywhere. Firefighters were still hosing down the building, but it was just a smoldering shell. It was a total loss.
”Paisen…”
I closed the map and frantically dialed his number.
”……”
He didn’t pick up.
A cold dread settled in my chest.
”…Maybe he just left his phone inside and it burned up,” I whispered.
”That would be just like him,” Sayaka agreed.
Desperate to believe it, we kept tossing out possibilities. We split up to search the area and even tried asking the police, but they told us the investigation was just starting. They didn’t know anything.
”Kei-chan, let’s go home for now,” Sayaka said.
”……”
”He’s probably just staying at a hotel or something…”
”……Yeah.”
Because it was paisen, he was surely fine. He’d have it handled. That’s what we told ourselves–
–And then, the following morning.
Watching the news on TV, we realized that our happy romance had come to an end.
—
Summary:
Mamiya Kei and Toda Sayaka deal with the shock of Satake (Paisen) resigning from the company. Their senior, Nozawa-senpai, takes them out to an izakaya to vent and process the news. In a drunken but calculated outburst, Nozawa suggests that since he is leaving the company, the girls should abandon their internal rivalry and both pursue a polyamorous relationship with him by creating a ‘fait accompli’.
Following Satake’s resignation, the office falls into chaos as multiple employees quit in protest or solidarity. Kei-chan and Sayaka spend their weekends pursuing ‘paisen’ and plan a surprise for his birthday. However, they arrive at his address only to find his apartment building has completely burned down.
—
Trivia:
- Satake chose the company specifically as a stepping stone for career growth, not for loyalty.
- Mamiya has been protecting Sayaka from other men, and Satake is the only one she trusts.
- The girls have ‘comforted each other’ on lonely nights when frustrated by Satake’s lack of progress.
- Satake is currently ignoring both their private and group messages.
- Satake (paisen) is a extreme secret-keeper, even hiding his birthday.
- Tanahashi-section chief’s downfall was attributed to karma for his treatment of Satake.
- Kei-chan used her very first paid leave specifically for this failed birthday surprise.
- The term ‘paisen’ is a slangy reversal of ‘senpai’
—
Character Insight:
Nozawa-senpai reveals her sharp observational skills, noticing that both girls are in love with Satake. Sayaka shows growth by encouraging Mamiya not to hold back for her sake. Mamiya realizes her feelings for Satake are deeper and more obvious than she thought.
Kei-chan shows a more calculating and aggressive side (‘tactical strike’), while Sayaka remains the more grounded, cautious foil. Both are deeply shook by the final tragedy, showing how much Satake has become the center of their world despite his attempts to keep them at arm’s length.
—
Behind the Scenes:
The term ‘fait accompli’ (既成事実) in a romantic context in Japanese fiction often euphemistically refers to having s*x to force a relationship commitment.
The author notes that this marks the end of the prologue and warns readers that explicit ‘R18’ content will be heavily delayed, describing it as a ‘tease play’.
—
TL Notes:
Notes:
• Nozawa – She is a petite woman with a dark brown short bob, glasses, and a practical, no-nonsense look, usually dressed in neat office wear. She is Satake’s peer from the same hiring class and a senior to the others, known for being strict with rules and reliable, even handling things like recovering his equipment from the hospital. Married with two kids and an “ikumen” husband at the same company, she drinks beer, speaks bluntly, and acts as a tough but caring big-sister figure—mentoring juniors in both work and romance, while quietly sensitive to criticism.
• Sasada – Department Chief (Buchou). Tanahashi’s boss. Prioritizes corporate appearance and headcount over developer well-being. Department Chief at the company. Oversees Satake’s resignation process. Department Manager (Buchou) at FECS. A veteran with over thirty years in the industry.
• Satake – The protag. Tall and lean in a rumpled suit, with faint stubble, tired dark eyes shadowed by deep circles, and a perpetually composed expression, he carries the quiet wear of overwork in every line of his posture. A 28-year-old software engineer and OJT mentor, he is “Paisen” to Toda and Mamiya, the unseen “Satake Wall” shielding them from burnout. Beneath his poker face lies dry cynicism and a self-mocking “ojisan” complex, shaped by years of isolation, relentless duty, and a life lived at his desk, now culminating in a hospital stay born of exhaustion.
• Tanahashi – He is a tall, model-like man with sharp features and a polished look, always in neat, stylish suits, giving off the image of a perfect “ace” with a faint, practiced smile. He is a section chief and Satake’s former boss, known as a genius at work but also a show-off who avoids eye contact and shifts pressure onto others. He favors women who flatter him and acts cold and condescending in meetings, hiding issues behind smooth talk. Once married with three children, he later faced scandal from an affair and eventually left the company after driving Satake out.
• Shimizu – A female employee one year junior to Satake. Black hair in a plain bob, wears glasses, hunched back, wears a frayed thin cardigan. An avid gamer/otaku who prioritizes gacha events over work. Female colleague who dreads the workload after Satake’s departure.
• Ogura – She is a tall, slender woman with wavy black shoulder-length hair held back by a headband, carrying a sharp, composed look in simple work attire. She is a senior engineer on the Aretha Non-Life Insurance project, about ten years older than Satake, known for strong technical skill despite having no management title. Married with a daughter, she is logical, meticulous, and quietly competitive, approaching work with precision and little patience for mistakes.
• Okubo – One of two Section Chiefs in the department. A supportive mentor figure to Satake who feels trapped by his position and age.
• Toda Sayaka – first-year hire under Satake’s OJT, she is a soft-spoken mediator to her roommate Mamiya, her modest dress and careful manners reflecting a pure, almost old-fashioned grace. Slender and pale with long, pitch-black hair flowing softly down her back, she carries a delicate beauty—wide, gentle eyes, easily flushed cheeks, and a quiet, almost fragile presence. Called an “oasis” and even a “guardian deity,” she moves through life with self-effacing kindness, cooking for others and blaming herself for small faults, her innocence preserved yet shaped by a constant, tender effort to care for those around her.
• Mamiya Kei – A spirited first-year hire at Satake’s firm, she moves through the office with quick wit and brighter energy, her light-brown ponytail and athletic frame marking her as both poised and playful. Off-duty, she lounges in casual comfort, sharing a lively home with her roommate Toda. She teases seniors—calling Satake “Paisen”—yet deeply admires him, her informal dialect and easy laughter shaped by club days, independence, and a life that taught her to stay light on her feet.
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Edited by Kanaa-senpai.
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