Volume 3 Chapter 57 Mystery Theory
Edited by: Kanaa-senpai
Between hearing about Mom’s career change and meeting my grandparents for the first time, it was a pretty packed winter break. Now that it’s over, today marks the fourth day of the New Year – and the first day back at kindergarten.
The fact that I can even go to school today means the Teachers are officially back on the clock. I honestly wish they could have relaxed a bit longer, but as a mere kindergartner, there’s nothing I can do to help. I really appreciate the hard work, though. I’m in your hands.
So, here I am again, riding the shuttle bus to school. The only problem? Suu-chan¹ isn’t in the seat next to me. Why? Because she went back to her family’s hometown.
(Maybe I skipped over too much detail there…)
The day the Yashiro family “raided” the Yashiro family – in other words, yesterday – the Totsuka family headed to Mio-san’s parents’ place first. That would be the Momose house. Since the Momoses live right in the Yashiro family’s neighborhood, they were actually right nearby while I was moping around. Then, as the sun began to set, they moved to Mitsuhisa’s Parents’ house, which is a bit further away. I heard they stayed the night and are scheduled to return this afternoon.
”Sigh…”
Kindergarten without Suu-chan. It’s actually the first time this has happened. I wonder if she felt this lonely when I stayed home with a cold? (I’m seriously depressed here…)
Once I actually arrived at the kindergarten, the place was a total zoo. Everyone was hyped up to see their friends, the Teachers, and the playground equipment again. Apparently, the concept of a “post-holiday slump” doesn’t exist for Youngsters yet. The Teachers weren’t at full strength, either, so they were scrambling to keep up with the chaos.
As soon as I walked into the classroom, a swarm of kids surrounded me.
”Makoto! Happy New Year!”
”Hap-py New Year!”
”A happy New Year to youuu!”
”Yeah, Happy New Year,” I replied.
I’d heard from Meguro-sensei that since this first week is optional, the attendance rate is usually under fifty percent. However, the Rose Class already had eleven kids present. I guess everyone’s parents are just as busy with work. Truly, thank you for your service.
”Makoto! What are we doing?”
”Tag?”
”Tag is… well, there aren’t many of us, so why don’t we do building blocks today?” I suggested.
”Roger!”
”Yes, boss!”
Children really are innocently cute. I felt the loneliness mellow out a little, but I was still suffering from a major “healing” deficiency. I couldn’t quite get my energy up.
”Makotooo!”
While I was spacing out, a boisterously loud voice echoed through the room. Even though it was January, he was still in short sleeves and shorts. Talk about a total lack of seasonal awareness.
”Happy Thank You!”
”…Yeah. Happy… You’re welcome?” I said.
Right at the start of the year, Jun was offering me words of gratitude. I wondered what for. (Is this some strategy from Sanae? Giving me the thanks in advance so I can’t escape when he causes a ton of trouble later?)
While I was trying to figure out the subtext, Jun leaned in.
”Makoto!”
”What is it?”
”Strip!”
”………Wait, why!?”
My brain ground to a halt. This happens a lot with kids. Is there some logic I’m failing to grasp, or is this just pure nonsense? Kindergarten life really requires a flexible mind.
”Strip!” Jun shouted again.
(Is my brain just too stiff?) I’d already taken off my hat and coat. I was wearing my long-sleeved jersey and pants… why on earth would I need to strip in this cold? My brain was starting to loop, so I decided to just ask.
”…Why? May I ask for a reason?”
”My dad said if I see Makoto’s, come to our house!” Jun chirped.
Well, this is classic. Sometimes when you ask a kid for a reason, the mystery only deepens. Even with Suu-chan, whom I’ve spent so much time with, this happens occasionally. But this is the first time it’s been this incomprehensible.
”Could you say that one more time? I think I missed it. In more detail, if possible…”
”My dad said if I see Makoto’s, come to our house!”
Unfortunately, he repeated it word-for-word. It made zero sense. (His dad said… if he sees Makoto’s… come to the house…)
I haven’t a clue. Jun usually communicates pretty well because he plays with his older brothers. He says wild things, but they’re usually about competitions. This time, I was stumped. Did I get rusty over break, or did Jun level up? My “healing-starved” brain couldn’t keep up.
”Makoto, please! If Makoto strips, you’ll come play!”
”Huh?”
”——Ngh!!”
”——Wait, hey!?”
With that, Jun grabbed my clothes. I thought he was going for my shirt, but he went for my pants – and the kid is surprisingly strong. I couldn’t pry his fingers off. They were sliding.
”Kh…”
I couldn’t win a raw power struggle against Jun. I let my long pants be “purged,” leaving me in my shorts. (It’s cold, but you get hot running around, so I was wearing layers.)
”I stripped, okay…?”
”I haven’t seen it yet!” Jun yelled.
His eyes were still fixed on my lower body. Was he really aiming for… “that thing” every boy has? He’s really letting it rip right at the start of the year. You can’t let your guard down for a second with this guy. He didn’t seem like the type to aim for another man’s “junior.” What happened to him over winter break?
”If you see it… what happens…?”
”Makoto will come to my house!”
I think I finally got the gist of it. My mind cleared up once my “little brother” was in danger. Jun just wants to invite me over. He wants me to come play. He should have just said that from the start! And the fact that he claims his “Dad” said it is the scariest part. Jun probably did a lot of weird “translation” in his head to get here, but now I’m actually afraid to meet Mr. Imai.
Others were listening in, too.
”Wait, is Makoto coming over to play?”
”If you make him strip!”
”Wait, really!?”
”I’m doing it too!”
”Miki too!”
”Me too!!”
”Saya’s doing it too!”
”——Wait, hey!?”
Hey, hold on a damn minute! If even the Rose Rangers join in, I’m finished! The Teachers were too busy with other kids to help. I really resented the high attendance in the Rose Class right now. Is the staff-to-student ratio lower because we’re usually the “quiet” class? I was getting swarmed by Youngsters; this was past the point of “playing around.” I didn’t want to do this so early in the year, but I couldn’t let this slide.
”Settle down!” I commanded.
I wiped all expression from my face and let out a voice with a real bite to it. Well, it was only as much as a child’s vocal cords could manage, so the intimidation was minimal, but it was surprisingly effective.
”””””…!? “””””
Some of them looked like they were about to cry, but I had to be the bad guy here. It was fine because it was me, but depending on the situation, this could have turned into a “parents summoned” incident. And I didn’t want a repeat performance. If Suu-chan were the target, I wouldn’t be able to stay this calm. (Actually, I’d die before I let that happen.)
”It’s not okay to do things people hate,” I said. “And it’s not okay for boys to touch girls’ bodies casually, or for girls to touch boys’ bodies. Got it? Do you understand?”
”””””Yes…””””” they whispered.
”And when you do something bad?”
”””””We’re sorry…”””””
The Youngsters apologized honestly. They were just over-excited to see their friends. Most of the kids in the Rose Class are good kids. The situation settled, but the air was heavy. I didn’t really know how to deal with them now; scolding isn’t my thing, and I was starting to doubt if I’d sounded too harsh.
So, I’ll leave the rest to the professionals. The Teachers had sensed the shift in the air and were already watching over us.
”Now then… as for you, Jun…”
”Eep…”
”Are you reflecting?”
”…Yeah. Sorry,” Jun said.
”It’s fine this time. I’m not mad anymore. If I feel like it, I’ll come over to play.”
”Really!?”
”Yeah. So give me my pants back.”
”Awesooome!”
”Don’t hold them up like a trophy,” I muttered.
* * *
Despite the drama, the first day back went smoothly enough. The Totsuka family returned as planned, and Suu-chan and Mio-san were there to greet me.
”…Suu-chan!”
”——Mmph!? ………Nnn… mff! Mff!”
”Oh my, Maa-kun. You’re being quite bold today,” Mio said. “Were you that lonely without Suu-chan?”
For the rest of the optional attendance period, I stayed home and relaxed with the Totsuka family. It’s not that I started hating kindergarten, okay? It was just to make it up to Suu-chan. We were apart for a day and a half, after all. I definitely noticed her eyes were a little red when she saw me.
Oh, and one update. The “Suzuki Hugging Coupon”² expired after less than a month.
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Summary:
Makoto returns to kindergarten after winter break, finding himself separated from Suu-chan who is still traveling. The classroom is chaotic, peaking when a classmate named Jun attempts to strip Makoto based on a bizarre misunderstanding of his father’s words. After a firm intervention by Makoto using his ‘adult’ presence, the situation is resolved, and he eventually reunites with a teary-eyed Suu-chan.
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Trivia:
- Jun’s unusual strength: Hinted at by his ability to overpower Makoto, suggesting physical development that might lead to rivalry or protective roles.
- The ‘Mystery Theory’: Highlights the disconnect between adult logic and child interpretation, a recurring hurdle for Makoto.
- Suu-chan’s red eyes: Confirms her deep emotional dependency on Makoto despite their brief separation
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Character Insight:
Makoto asserts authority over his peers, shifting from a passive observer to an active guardian of social norms in the classroom. His relationship with Suu-chan is reaffirmed as the center of his emotional world, as evidenced by his decision to skip optional school days just to soothe her.
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Lore And Worldbuilding Context:
The ‘Rose Rangers’ and ‘Rose Class’ establish the social structure of the kindergarten. The concept of ‘optional attendance’ periods during the New Year reflects modern Japanese social systems in this setting.
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TL Notes:
The term ‘Mystery Theory’ (Nazo Riron) serves as a comedic device for the linguistic telephone game between Jun and his father. The ‘Suzuki Hugging Coupon’ is a localized term for a specific privilege Makoto previously held.
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TL Notes:
Notes:
• Mitsuhisa – Mitsuhisa-san, 33, 184 cm, 71 kg, is Mio’s husband and father to Suu-chan, Fuu-chan, and Kyo-chan—currently on modified childcare leave, working from home while actively assisting with housework and childcare. Reserved and scowling, he hides a toned, sporty physique and a quiet passion for documenting family life with a video camera. Though emotionally distant with family photographer Akari, he shares darkly playful banter with Makoto, his former college-athlete friend, whose influence over his daughters unsettles him. Deeply lonely as his children grow independent, he balances breadwinning duty with tender, watchful fatherhood, harboring few material desires beyond niche adult interests—his quiet pride evident as he holds the twins during Suu-chan’s birthday, clearing the frame for the Producer.
• Totsuka – The neighbor family consisting of a husband (Mitsuhisa), wife (Mio), and daughter (Suu-chan). They are hardcore gamers who provide hand-me-down consoles to the protagonist’s household.
• Mio – Suu-chan’s mother, Mio-P (“Producer”), is a 28-year-old pregnant Totsuka resident with a round belly, baby-faced charm, and elegant gray attire accentuating her G-cup curves; 164 cm, 57 kg, formerly a relay and badminton star turned teacher, cook, and photographer. Wife to Mitsuhisa, she bakes strawberry shortcake and chirashi-zushi, adores babysitting Ma-kun, and subtly nudges his marriage to Suu-chan. A playful, theatrical neighbor and family friend, she orchestrates heartfelt birthday moments with a sketchbook, narrates childhood memories as the narrator’s elementary best friend, and mothers Suu-chan, Fuu-chan, and Kyo-chan. Devoted to her daughter’s education, avoids crowds, and remains the neighborhood’s beloved “Love Guru” matchmaker—quietly guiding destinies with warmth and wit.
• Makoto – Four‑year‑old Maa‑kun, 93 cm, 13 kg, wears a neat shirt, cap and backpack in Rose Class. Polite, short‑haired, he hides his reincarnated 30‑year‑old salaryman mind—calls himself “Toilet Master”—and is male despite his father’s belief. He protects Suu‑chan, mediates fights, reads Kanji, speaks English, and aids his mother and neighbors, still called Maa‑kun by her.
• Meguro – A 28‑29‑year‑old single man, 179‑180 cm tall, 67 kg, lives below the Totsukas on the first floor. He works as a kindergarten office clerk and Teacher (teacher/staff), giving information to Makoto. An amateur prize‑winning photographer and avid road‑bike rider, he cycles regularly.
• Sanae – Middle‑aged woman, mother of Jun and three older sons (in middle and high school), and friend of Makoto’s mother.
• Jun – Rose Class kindergartner, the Imai family’s youngest and only daughter. She wears short sleeves and shorts year‑round, has a huge appetite, is ultra‑competitive, and idolizes her mother. Her older brother warns about germs while Makoto reins her in. Energetic, physically strong, heroic, often forced to be ‘it’ in tag, and now can count to ten, a close friend of Makoto.
• Suzuki – 4‑year‑old Suu‑chan, daughter of Mio and Mitsuhisa, wears a topknot, braided pigtails, sleepy sparkling eyes, pink rain boots and a tiny umbrella. She’s competitive yet nervous, hugs and pouts, coordinates Makoto’s things, and calls him her boyfriend. Close friend of sandbox‑leader Maa‑kun; in Hinomori’s Younger Class she’s shy, sits in a booster seat, clings to Makoto, once had seaweed on a tooth after a Rose‑Class footrace. Now pregnant‑mother’s older sister, energetic, follows Makoto with a sad big‑sister air, and as the narrator’s daughter she loves Maa‑kun and her father Mii‑kun, caring for her new younger sisters.
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Edited by Kanaa-senpai.
Thanks for reading.
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