Chapter 251 The Heart That Is Spoken
Edited by: Kanaa-senpai
That night, I was alone in my room with Diana.
”It feels kind of weird being just the two of us.”
”…Yeah, it does.”
Except for some unexpected moments, there were times when Diana or Mei weren’t around, but Lewya was always there, so it had been a long time since it was just me and Diana.
Plus, recently, I hardly had any time alone with Diana, not just at night, so it felt even stranger. I had forgotten how we used to talk when it was just the two of us.
As I struggled to find a way to start the conversation, silence hung in the air until Diana spoke up.
”Aren’t we going to do anything tonight?”
”Ah, well, to be honest, I’m not really in the mood today.”
”I see, then I guess that’s it for tonight──”
”W-Wait!”
I grabbed Diana’s arm as she stood up to leave and pulled her back to the bed.
I realized that if I kept thinking about how to lead the conversation, I would never get to the main topic.
I had to ask directly.
”Neil-sama?”
”Diana, you’re worried about something, aren’t you?”
”…Did you notice?”
”Even if I’m dense, I can tell this much.”
Diana looked surprised by my response, and her expression turned complicated.
”This is a personal issue for me, so it has nothing to do with you, Neil-sama. Above all, a servant shouldn’t trouble their master…”
”No, you know that if you push me away like this, it will only make things worse for me, right, Diana?”
Even if I get pushed away once, I’m the kind of person who will still try to find a way to help.
When I said that, Diana looked surprised for a moment, then her expression turned serious.
”That’s true. I should have understood that well, but I guess this is where the difference between the head maid and me lies.”
”Lucena-san?”
”…It’s a silly story, but if you’re okay with that, would you like to hear it?”
Seeing Diana’s self-deprecating expression for the first time made me a little flustered, but I nodded slowly.
”Well then──I’ve been trained by the head maid to become a servant since I was young. It’s embarrassing to say this myself, but I thought I had absorbed everything from her.”
”You thought you did, but isn’t that actually true? I’ve heard the other servants say that Diana is excellent. Sure, you might have absorbed all the knowledge, but since you lack experience, Lucena-san might be better.”
”Yes, I thought that what I lacked was only experience, and that if I gained enough experience, I could become like her. However, comparing myself now as Neil-sama’s servant to the head maid, I realized that was just arrogance. She has told me many times, ‘A servant is not just a puppet that follows their master. They must support their master and correct their mistakes, even if it means going against them.’ But I had a terrible misunderstanding.”
”What’s this misunderstanding about? It’s nice that you’re giving me advice, and I think Lucena-san feels the same way.”
”No, it’s different for me and the head maid. After Neil-sama finishes the bath, you sneak out of the mansion and shows up in the dining hall, right?”
”Ah… well, yeah.”
Now that I think about it, I’ve never talked about that in front of Diana.
I had heard from Lucena-san that Diana knows about it, but from what Diana just said, it seems like that’s the case.
”Are you against me sneaking out, Diana?”
”To be honest, yes, I am. It’s very dangerous for a noble to sneak out of the mansion and walk alone at night. However, the head maid said, ‘If Neil-sama wants to take a break on his own, even if we tell him not to, it’s pointless to stop him. Besides, it’s more of a problem if we make a fuss and let others know that Neil-sama is sneaking out.’ So, she told me to just watch.”
I never know where information might leak from.
Lucena-san probably thought that bringing up the fact that I sneak out would put me in danger, so she decided that keeping things as they are is the best option.
Plus, she thinks it’s pointless to try to stop me, considering my personality.
”Well, like I said earlier, Lucena-san has more experience, so it’s not something to worry about too much, right, Diana?”
”That’s not it. This isn’t just a difference in experience; it’s a difference in how we think. For example, when the monsters attacked, the head maid was thinking about protecting not just Neil-sama’s life but also Neil-sama’s position as the ruler of the frontier settlement. In comparison, I was only focused on Neil-sama’s safety… If the head maid is considering what’s best for Neil-sama, the heir of the Count Atmiras family, then in my case, I was just forcing my view as a typical noble of the empire onto Neil-sama.”
As Diana’s expression grew darker with each word, I couldn’t find the right thing to say, so I just kept listening to her.
”Neil-sama has never acted like a typical noble, but recently, you seem even less like one. As your servant, I thought I should correct that, but the head maid didn’t criticize Neil-sama. In fact, she seems to accept and support the way Neil-sama is now.”
It’s true that Diana often opposed what I wanted to do, but Lucena-san would eventually understand what I wanted and suggest alternatives.
I thought it was just a difference in experience, but maybe, as Diana said, there was a fundamental difference in how the two of them think.
”I thought I had completely inherited the head maid’s teachings, but in reality, I was only understanding things on a surface level. Once she started assisting Neil-sama in my place, I realized that.”
”So that’s why things have been strange since Lucena-san arrived.”
”…I’m really sorry, but I know I shouldn’t worry you, Neil-sama. I just don’t have the confidence to serve you right now. The current Neil-sama clearly has issues as a noble of the empire, but on the other hand, the frontier settlement keeps growing, and more people admire the current Neil-sama. I think it’s heading in a good direction for the frontier settlement. If someone like me is around, it will only have a bad influence on both the frontier settlement and you, Neil-sama. So──.”
”Wait a minute!”
I stop Diana from saying what she was about to say.
”Don’t jump to conclusions. Besides, if Lucena-san goes back and you leave too, who’s going to assist me?”
”Then we can leave it to Lewya…”
”No way, that won’t work. Lewya is a servant assistant, not mine but yours, Diana. She’s improved a lot in dealing with guests compared to before, but she’s still pretty naive about the world, so she can’t possibly fill in for you.”
”Then how about Nishe-san? I think she would get along well with the current Neil-sama.”
”That’s true, Nishe-san seems to match well, but isn’t she working as a servant for Katis?”
Nishe-san is Diana’s older sister, and Katis is my younger brother.
”Anyway, it’s not about who can take your place. I want you, Diana, to support me.”
”I appreciate your words, but I can’t support you like the head maid would, Neil-sama…”
Saying this, Diana looks down and clenches her fists.
After seeing her like this, I scratch my head and start to speak.
”Ah, about that, I think it’s insensitive to say this to you, Diana, who has been trying so hard to be like Lucena-san, but I don’t think you need to force yourself to learn from Lucena.”
”…Huh?”
”Sure, Lucena-san is amazing. There’s a trust between her and my parents that goes beyond just a master-servant relationship, and I even think it’s an ideal relationship. But, you know, that’s just one of many ideals.”
”One of many ideals…”
”Yeah, aiming for an ideal isn’t a bad thing; in fact, it’s a good thing. But if you only focus on that one ideal and ignore all the others, that would be a waste, right? So instead of giving up just because you can’t reach that ideal, I think it’s also good to look for a different ideal.”
Diana slowly lifts her face at my words, tears welling up in her eyes. I wipe them away with my thumb and place my hand on her cheek.
”You don’t have to force yourself to learn from your parents. We can build a relationship that’s true to us.”
”What kind of relationship would that be, specifically?”
”Hmm, well, I guess we’ll think about that together from now on.”
”…Isn’t that a bit thoughtless?”
”Because if I just decide everything on my own and rush into it, you always get mad at me.”
”That’s because Neil-sama takes everything on himself and does reckless things──.”
”Exactly, so please think about it with me.”
”──!”
”If I worry alone, I’ll just end up going in circles again. If you’re worried about me being reckless, then please worry with me.”
Diana’s expression changes from a crying face to an angry face, then to a surprised face, and finally back to a crying face.
But this time, her tears are the opposite of the dark and gloomy ones from before.
”…That’s unfair. If you say it like that, I can’t refuse.”
”I’m saying it so you can’t refuse.”
Diana gently places her hand on mine, which is resting on her cheek.
”Honestly, you’re such a troublesome master.”
She says with a soft smile, tears in her eyes. Then, without either of us saying anything, we lean closer and our bodies come together.
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Edited by Kanaa-senpai.
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