Chapter 38 I Was Just Mindin’ My Business Watching the Heroines Flirt, Then I Became Collateral Damage
Edited by: Kanaa-senpai
"You've always been like this! Once you set your mind on something, you're… you're just too damn stubborn! You total blockhead! But that side of you… that stubbornness… I absolutely love it! 'Flame Dance'!" Hollow screamed.
"Ugh…//// Why are you saying such embarrassing things in front of everyone, Hollow?! I've told you a thousand times-save that for when we're alone in our room! Whisper it in my ear then! 'Holy Knight: Light Saber'!" Karentisia replied.
Wow. They were as lovey-dovey as ever! Are they actually trying to kill each other over Alexia?
I love to see it. A messy, dramatic love triangle. Simply divine.
"Oh, dear… You can't do this! Both of you, please stop! You shouldn't be using magic or swordsmanship in a crowded cafeteria," Nero pleaded. "Besides, Alys Magic Academy¹ is merit-based now. Class shuffles happen every month. It doesn't matter who's ranked higher right now!"
That was Nero. People called him the second most beautiful boy of our generation. He was a son of the prestigious Claudia family from back in the Regain Kingdom.
Nero was practically vibrating with anxiety as he watched the duel between Hollow and Karentisia. How cute.
Still, it bothered me. Why had no one ever told me who the number one most beautiful boy of our generation was?
"Hey there, Nero. You're looking as cute as a button today. What's the matter?"
"Is that you, Shin-kun? Ahh! Where have you been?! I've been looking for you everywhere! Alexia-chan and Lady Layla-sama were hunting for you with bloodshot eyes, carrying these terrifying-looking axes!"
"…Heh, what kind of survival-horror roleplay are they into now? Am I the hunted? Am I actually going to lose my head?"
* * *
(Meanwhile, in Shin's private quarters)
"Shin-kun! Where did you goooo?! If you're cheating, it's off with your head!" Alexia shrieked.
"Shin-sama! Please let me fluff you!" Layla-sama wailed.
"Alexia-jousama, Layla-sama, you cannot simply ransack Shin-sama's room!" the maid scolded. "And those… those are his undergarments! Put those back this instant!"
"My, my," the head maid chuckled. "A maiden's obsession is a force of nature, isn't it? Go get him, girls!"
"…They get more feral every year," a voice muttered from the corner. "No wonder that bratty Master wants to keep out of sight."
* * *
"Anyway, everyone seems pretty hyped up today," I said, turning back to the cafeteria chaos. "Is there a festival? Like a Spring Bake-Off² or something?"
"Stop it! I have no idea what you're talking about!" Nero snapped. "Just stop the fight between Hollow-san and Karentisia-san already! Only Alexia-san, Lady Layla-sama… or you, Shin-kun, can actually get them to listen!"
"Hmm. Is that so? Sounds like a lot of work!"
"Why are you acting like this isn't someone else's problem?! At this rate, as the class rep, I'm the one the teachers are going to scream at! Help me, Shin-kun!"
Yeah, yeah. Since I didn't have to use formal speech with Nero-kun, I could talk to him like a normal person. It just made me want to tease him even more.
But really, a duel between Hollow and Karentisia-chan? It was basically a clash of the Heroines over the Protagonist, Alexia.
I'd be a fool not to place a few bets and enjoy the show.
"It's a festival, then. Got it. Okay, I'm putting all my money on Hollow's defea-hurgh?!"
THUD… KABOOOM!!
"SHIN-KUN?!" Nero screamed.
…Hahaha. For a split second, something incredibly hard slammed into my face and pinned me against the cafeteria wall.
It hurt-it really, really hurt-but since I have 'Auto-Repair'³ active at all times, the damage to my face mended instantly. It still stung like a bitch, though.
"…Ow, ow, ow. Who was that? Who'd launch an attack like that while a guy is just trying to enjoy the view from a safe distance? Wait… is this a replica of the Sacred Artifact 'Princess's Silver Blade'? Why is this even-urk!"
Before I could pick up the replica, Karentisia-chan appeared. Looking every bit the arrogant Fairy Queen, she stepped right onto my chest.
What the hell is this girl doing in a public place?
"You finally showed up, Shin. I'm going to crush that lower-class Hollow, so give me a hand. Do it, and I'll give you your usual reward later. You should feel honored."
"Honored? Look, Karentisia-chan, we're just friendly classmates-gueh!"
"Silence," she snapped. "You're a useless daken. My dog doesn't get to speak without permission."
"W-Woof…" I managed.
"Hmph. That's better. As long as you stay submissive with that cute face of yours, I might eventually forgive you."
"Kyuun!"
"Sh-Shin-kun?! Why do you look so happy?!" Nero cried out. "Get out of there before you get caught in the crossfire! You're going to get killed!"
Kind-hearted Nero-kun was actually worried about me. A true best friend.
In the original game, Nero was the Protagonist's rival hero and my sworn enemy. But since I hadn't actually done anything villainous in this world yet, I'd somehow naturally slotted into the "Best Friend" role.
Meanwhile, I was in a Master-Servant relationship with Karentisia-chan. She kept holding the Fountain Incident over my head. Since we were in the same class, I was basically her loyal lapdog whenever we were together. wan.
Am I frustrated as a guy? Look, it's better than making her angry and getting my head chopped off by Alexia. Survival is the only thing that matters.
"…You're quite cute, Shin," Karentisia mused. "That's right. You stay my dog for the rest of your life. Otherwise, I'll-"
"Why are you being tamed so easily, you moron!" a new voice barked.
"That voice… Hol… low?"
CRACK… KABOOOM!!
"SHIN-KUN!" Nero shrieked again.
Oh boy. This time, Hollow's favorite sword, the 'Crimson Blade', whistled an inch past my nose and buried itself in the wall.
Dodging it was easy, but if I came out of that totally unhurt, it'd look suspicious. I had to let myself get a few grazes. I couldn't go around embarrassing the girl with the highest firepower in our year.
"Ow, ow, ow… Hollow this time, huh? What can I do for you, Lady?"
"Shin-kun! You're covered in blood!" Nero-kun cried, rushing over. "Are you okay?!"
Nero was looking at me with a pale face. Maybe I overdid the "accidental" scratches.
"You! If you came to back me up, you should've said so sooner!" Hollow shouted. "You're my right-hand man, so you should be standing by my side at all times!"
"Ow… No, I'm not your right hand. I'm just a lowly dropout, Hollow," I muttered.
Hollow effortlessly hauled me up by the collar and stood me to her right. As usual, she was… well, she was pretty modest in the chest department.
Hollow Rose Scarlet. The 'Villainess' of the game. In this reality, she was the leader of the upper-class girls. She was the daughter of the Marquis Scarlet family, powerful nobles from the southwest.
"…Stupid Shin. What were you just thinking while looking at my chest?" she hissed.
"Gueh?! N-nothing! I wasn't thinking anything! More importantly, can you please not drag me into your feud? I'm just a harmless dropout."
"Hah?! What are you talking about? You, a dropout? Stop being an idiot. Now help me, or I'm going to kick Karentisia's ass!"
"I have no idea what you're talking about," Karentisia interjected. "Hollow, Shin is my class's loyal lapdog. Right, Shin? If you don't bark right now, I'm going to tell the Elves everything you did to me."
"Wan! Waon!" I barked.
"Sh-Shin-kun?! What's wrong with you?! Why did you start barking like a dog?!" Nero yelled.
If she tells the Elves, I'm dead! I had to yap. I whimpered and barked right there in the middle of the cafeteria. I do not want the entire Elven nation as my enemy.
"…Hehe, that's better," Karentisia-chan purred. "Shin, if you stay my loyal dog, I might just invite you to the Elven Kingdom one day."
Phew. Karentisia was grinning from ear to ear. Man, she was such a Choroin⁴. Truly a lifesaver.
"Hey! Stupid Shin! Don't you have any pride as a noble of the Regain Kingdom?!" Hollow screamed. "I'll knock your teeth in!"
"I have zero pride, wan," I replied. "Besides, I've been excommunicated from the Seyfried family anyway, so it doesn't even matter… wan?!"
Hollow grabbed my collar and lifted me off the floor. I couldn't breathe. Hollow-chan, you jerk! You were supposed to be the girl who loved me in the original game!
"Even if you don't care, it makes the Regain nobles look weak to other countries!" she yelled.
Unlike the game, Hollow-chan had grown up to be a real powerhouse. Though her chest was still on the small side.
Pet pet. Yep, totally flat. Alexia was definitely winning in that department.
"Y-you perverted moron! What are you doing touching my chest?! You creep!"
"Kyauun!"
"SHIN-KUN!"
"Hey! What do you think you're doing to my dog, Hollow?!" Karentisia shouted.
"He's my right-hand man, Karentisia!" Hollow roared back.
"You…! You always do this!"
"That's because you never know when to shut up!"
CRACK!
"Whooo! Go for it!" "Place your bets!" "It's a fight over Princess Shin!" "Shin-kun, you're so cute! Marry me!" "Scarlet-sama, huff huff!" "Karentisia, crush her!!"
The crowd was losing their minds. Both of them were celebrities at Alys Magic Academy.
"Sh-Shin-kun, are you okay? Your body is… you're covered in wounds! I'll heal you right away! Restoration!"
Nero rushed over and cast a heal. Seriously, what an angel. Why can't you be my main Heroine instead?
"It's okay, Nero-kun. This is just a normal Tuesday for me. I'm used to it!"
Three years ago, when the Student Council President vanished, the weird class divisions at the academy were abolished. Now, it was all about performance. Monthly exams decided your fate.
As a dropout, I started at the bottom. But my father made me promise to keep my grades right in the middle until graduation. He kicked me out of the family and still gave me chores.
I just wanted a peaceful school life!
But as I bounced between the upper and lower classes, I somehow became Hollow's "right hand" and Karentisia-chan's "dog." wan.
"Both of you are treating Shin-kun way too poorly," Nero said, standing between us. "Hurting my friend like this…"
An angel. A literal angel! You're so cute, Nero-kun! …But he's a boy. Definitely a no-go zone.
"It's fine, Nero-kun. I want the Heroines to live their best lives. If they end up with the Protagonist in the end, then my life-"
Just then, a senior called out to me.
"…He is over there, Harusu-sama."
"Ah, thank you, Siris… You there. You must be Lady Shin Seyfried?"
Lady? I'm a "guy," thanks.
"Huh? Yeah, I'm Shin Seyfried."
"I see. In that case, I shall take you as my wife. You should feel honored."
…WHY? What is this idiot talking about?
"Um… I'm a boy, Harusu Shubelt-senpai."
"Oh! Is that so? A 'crossdresser' (otoko-no-ko), then? Even better. No problem at all. I shall take you as my wife regardless."
…He was a lost cause. He didn't listen to a word. I'd been targeted by a complete lunatic. Is this also part of the Night Alice curse? Someone, help me!
This guy was wearing the creepiest smile I'd ever seen! Help!
"I found you, Shin-kun!" a voice shrieked. "If you're cheating, it's off with your head!"
Wait, that voice! Could it be?! Is it the voice of my absolute favorite girl?!
—
Summary:
Shin gets caught in the crossfire of a duel between Hollow and Karentisia in the academy cafeteria. While trying to remain a 'harmless dropout,' he is claimed as both a right-hand man and a loyal dog by the bickering heroines. The chapter ends with a creepy senior proposing to Shin and a mysterious 'favorite girl' arriving to threaten him for cheating.
—
Trivia:
- Shin's father excommunicated him but still forces him to maintain average grades.
- Alys Magic Academy shuffles classes monthly based on merit.
- Shin is intentionally taking damage to avoid making the heroines look weak.
- Nero, the hero/rival in the game, is actually Shin's best friend in this reality.
- The 'Fountain Incident' is the leverage Karentisia uses over Shin.
- Shin has a 'Full Auto' healing skill that works instantly
—
Character Insight:
Shin prioritizes survival and a peaceful life over pride, willingly barking like a dog to avoid Elven enmity. Hollow and Karentisia show possessive traits toward Shin despite their rivalry over the 'protagonist' Alexia.
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Behind the Scenes:
The 'Spring Bake-Off' (Spring Bread Festival) is a meta-joke about the Yamazaki Spring Bread Festival, a common trope in Japanese light novels to denote a chaotic but festive atmosphere.
—
TL Notes:
Notes:
• Right – An upperclassman frustrated with ten-year-old Alexia’s presidency who initially supported Lilith (‘Lili-tan’) for the role. He represents the ‘cute girl fetish’ faction, rips up the magic paper in anger, and engages in heated debates with Left about the academy’s bizarre political landscape and student obsessions.
• Siris – The Director of the Grimoire Grand Library. Grumpy, with a deep grey hood shrouding his face. He refuses to hire sly Gōblin or elusive Rabbit-Eared folk due to budget and caution.
• Harusu Shubelt – Senior student at Alice Magic Academy, known for eccentric behavior and obsessed with Shin. Frequently involved in comedic and awkward scenes.
• Night Alice – Hidden Gimmick Monster/Boss of the Maidens x Cross-dressing RPG, one of the founders of Alys Magic Academy. Hijacked the Mirror World (Wonderland) and ruled as the Student Council President. Her initial forms included Slaughter Doll and Alice Slaughter (centipede/alien).
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Edited by Kanaa-senpai.
Thanks for reading.
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