Chapter 40 After the Private Lesson꞉ A Secret and a Sweet Burden
Edited by: Kanaa-senpai
Inamori-kun’s loving was stupendous. Even after it was finished, I still had the feeling that his instrument was inside me. At school, his presence was negligible, yet the sheer physical presence of his instrument was immense.
I had dated two men in university. I had been with both of them, yet Inamori-kun’s instrument was larger. Since I hadn’t been with a man since starting my job, I had worried whether he would fit. He did, all of it, but it was painful at first. Still, Inamori-kun had been mindful of my comfort. He had also called me “cute” many times. At twenty-six, being called cute was embarrassing, but it made me happy. When Inamori-kun told me, “That felt absolutely wonderful,” I felt a rush of delight.
”A woman, you see, can never forget the first man who brought her to her end, more so than her very first. That’s why I won’t be able to forget Hirokazu.”
It was true; I had reached my end for the first time during the loving. Inamori-kun had looked perplexed, saying, “I am honoured,” but Inamori-kun had Nakanishi-san. The quiet Inamori-kun and the active Nakanishi-san seemed like a suitable pair. Now that they were in their third year, Inamori-kun seemed to have gained confidence, and Nakanishi-san’s character seemed to have mellowed. I believed they must have a good relationship. Therefore, I felt terribly apologetic to Nakanishi-san, who had sent Inamori-kun out to me.
After Inamori-kun left, I sent Nakanishi-san a message via SNS saying, “Thank you,” to which the reply came, “Please continue to be my beloved Haruka-¹sensei.” Inamori-kun had said something similar when he left. For a teacher to be encouraged by her students, I might be considered a failure as an educator. And yet, the sincere feeling of the two of them brought tears to my eyes.
The second term would begin tomorrow. While I felt a sense of dread, I resolved to do my best to respond to the feelings of those two.
But… knowing what it was like to be with Inamori-kun, I feared I would never be satisfied with anyone else. Most likely, my feminine parts had already memorised the shape of Inamori-kun’s instrument. My spirit felt refreshed, but I now had a different sort of problem.
* * *
Hirokazu-san had returned home.
Haruka-sensei had sent a message saying, “Thank you,” so he must have been with her in an intimate way, yet Hirokazu-san said nothing and went straight to the shower. I thought he was being considerate of me. But he was also distant. I suddenly found it amusing, thinking that this was how men behaved when they had been unfaithful.
When Hirokazu-san emerged from the shower, I said, “Thank you,” to which he only replied, “Mhm.”
Honestly, I was curious about how the intimate encounter had gone and I felt a swirling restlessness. However, if Haruka-sensei was feeling better, then that was not a major concern. I wasn’t forcing myself to be strong. I knew that there would likely be similar situations in the future. Therefore, I resolved to support Hirokazu-san without being flustered.
For now, as Hirokazu-san seemed uneasy, I would simply try to interact with him as I always did.
But before going to sleep, I attended to his ‘instrument’ more thoroughly than usual. I might have been unconsciously jealous of Haruka-sensei.
* * *
I had honestly thought that being intimate with Aizawa-²sensei was dangerous, and something that could never happen. And yet, I had found myself engaging with her, just as she requested. I had enjoyed myself. Though I couldn’t compare it directly with Manami, there was a different kind of pleasure to be found. It had been, quite simply, wonderful.
As I was leaving, Aizawa-sensei said, “Thank you.” I felt that I should be the one thanking her for being intimate with me. As it had been for Aizawa-sensei’s sake, I told her, “Please remember the Aizawa-sensei from last year,” before departing.
Now, I didn’t know what kind of face to put on when returning to Manami. Even though it was sanctioned, being unfaithful truly left me feeling guilty. I thought it wasn’t something I should ever do again. I had showered before leaving Aizawa-sensei’s flat, but I couldn’t help but worry whether her scent still lingered on me.
When I returned home, I immediately took another shower. Manami said, “Thank you,” but since she must know I had been intimate with Aizawa-sensei, I couldn’t tell what she was thinking. Still, Manami, acting as if nothing was amiss, was too good. I knew I needed to become a man more worthy of her.
Before bedtime, she attended to me with more passion than usual. It was undoubtedly proof that she was concerned.
I wished I could say, “I’m sorry,” and be relieved of this burden, but I knew she would be upset if I did. Manami might view it as being for Aizawa-sensei’s sake, and thus not a bad thing, but for me, the thought that I had caused Manami distress was painful.
The second term would start tomorrow. I didn’t know how I would be able to face Aizawa-sensei.
—
Summary:
Aizawa Haruka reflects on her intimate time with Inamori-kun, finding it unforgettable and worrying she will never be satisfied by another man, while Inamori-kun and his girlfriend Nakanishi-san deal with the quiet fallout of the sanctioned infidelity and their respective feelings of guilt and jealousy.
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Character Insight:
Haruka-sensei’s temporary relief comes with a long-term problem: her intense physical experience with Inamori-kun has set a new, impossibly high standard, tying her to him emotionally and physically. Inamori-kun grapples with profound guilt over what he perceives as a betrayal of Nakanishi-san, despite her permission. Nakanishi-san, showing remarkable composure and maturity, subtly expresses her silent jealousy and support, highlighting her strength in the face of a difficult agreement.
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Behind the Scene:
The chapter utilizes a shifting point-of-view structure, moving between Haruka-sensei, Nakanishi-san, and Inamori-kun, to show the complex emotional dynamics and lingering effects of the ‘private lesson’ from all three perspectives, ending on a note of uncertainty for the upcoming school term.
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T/L:
¹ Sensei: A Japanese term for a teacher, master, doctor, or anyone who has achieved a certain level of mastery in their profession. It is used as an honorific.↩
² Sensei: A Japanese term for a teacher, master, doctor, or anyone who has achieved a certain level of mastery in their profession. It is used as an honorific.↩
Notes:
• Aizawa Haruka – A new teacher, only three years into her career, making the protagonist’s class her first homeroom. She is conscientious, popular among students, has elder-sisterly vibe. Tall, slim, black hair tied back, wears glasses, brown eyes.
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Edited by Kanaa-senpai.
Thanks for reading.
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