Chapter 13 The Isekai Shop’s New Product and the Elf’s Undoing
Edited by: Kanaa-senpai
A few weeks had passed since then. We’ve been hard at work on the ‘Tremble-d**do-Buddy’, a process that involved me casually harassing Sera-chan when she brought in a new batch of Metag Stone, harassing Tania after she promptly hunted down some Pororo Snail shells for the bounty, and utterly collapsing Lily with the prototypes.
And now, its completion was finally just around the corner. We had a few hiccups, I won’t lie. At one point, a major flaw in the switch mechanism sent a full-power, runaway ‘d**do-Buddy’ shooting out of Lily’s vaginal cavity, and another time, an issue with the durability left the vibrating mechanism itself still stuck inside her after the shell cracked. Still, we’d overcome all that, and were finally on the verge of commercial release.
”Is it, is it finally finished, then…?” Lily cooed, her tone a mix of worn-out complaint and eagerness.
”Yup, it is. I’m sorry you had to go through all that trouble yourself,” I drawled, giving her a smug grin.
”‘Sorry’ ain’t enough! What’re you gonna do if my p**sy’s completely useless now, huh?” she protested, pouting artfully.
”Why, I’ll naturally fix it up to be more useful than ever, and then I’ll just have to wear it out even more,” I purred back, enjoying the power dynamic.
”Oh, you’re awful… ♡ That’s the worst pickup line ever, you know,” she sighed, but her voice held no real malice.
Though she grumbled with her words, Lily was practically nuzzling against me, clearly thrilled. What a simple, utterly delightful girl. I ran my fingers through her pink hair, tilting her head back to expose her forehead, and kissed it. She instantly buried her nose into my armpit, a sound of muffled satisfaction escaping her.
”Fuh-guh-fuh-guh…♡ So, the switch-making, did that actually work out in the end?” she asked, her voice slightly muffled.
”We managed to make it happen, yeah. I really wanted to squeeze in a strength adjustment feature, but…” I confessed, shrugging my shoulders.
”Well, just having an on-off switch is amazing enough, you know?” she pointed out, her musical lilt returning.
For the finished ‘Tremble-d**do-Buddy,’ I decided to put the activation switch on the bottom surface. It’s a simple knock-style switch, not using electricity or magic. I modeled it after an old world ballpoint pen. The hardest part was building the spring to push the Metag Stone-coated rod back into place, but I found a great supplier. The thing is, the closer the Metag Stone and the Pororo Snail shell are, the stronger the vibration gets, so an intensity adjustment feature would only take a little more work. But adding too many internal mechanisms drives up production time and cost, so this is where we’ll stop for now. I’ll definitely think about improving it later, though.
”But you haven’t finished the durability testing yet, have you?” she asked, a touch of concern in her tone.
”Nah, the basic structural durability is done; I tested it with extreme overload. Now I’m just checking how long the vibration mechanism itself will keep running. That check takes way too much time, though, so if they break early, we’ll just have to offer replacements,” I explained.
I glanced over at the ‘d**do-Buddy’ I’d secured to my workbench. It’s been running continuously for about two weeks now, and it was still vibrating with a cheerful, buzzing sound—“Vrrrrrr!”. I still hadn’t confirmed its total operational lifespan.
I don’t even know the fundamental principle of the thing. I guess some mysterious substance generated inside the Pororo Snail forms the shell, and it vibrates in response to something related to the excellent magic conductivity of the Metag Stone, but I’ve got no way to truly study it right now. It feels like I’m walking a tightrope, but hey, for a novelty joke item sold at a suspicious shop like this, I figure people can cut me some slack.
”Other than that… I’d feel a lot safer if just one or two more people would test it out for me, you know?” I murmured, mostly to myself.
”Well, there’s a perfect person right here, isn’t there?” Lily teased, her eyes glinting.
”Huh?”
Right as Lily said that, the little bell attached to the front door rang with a clear, silvery chime—carang-carang—announcing a customer. I peeled the clinging Lily off me and headed toward the front.
”Welcome!” I called out.
”Hmph…”
Standing there was my regular, the elven adventurer, Tania of the Divine Bow. The usual frown was etched on her face, but today she was carrying a large pack on her back.
”What’s all that?” I asked.
”It is nothing complicated, is it? The Adventurer’s Guild reception told me you had not collected it, and instructed me to bring it to you,” she stated, her voice formal and measured.
”Ah, I see. My bad then. Sorry to you, and sorry to Marm-san too,” I conceded, scratching my head.
I had been so busy with development that I hadn’t shown my face around the guild much. When I apologized, Tania snorted a soft ‘Hmph!’ and tossed the heavy pack down in front of me. A rattling sound, garr-garr, came from the bag as the Pororo Snail shells clattered together inside.
”The receptionist said to bring money if you intend to continue posting the request, as their funds are running low,” she informed me, crossing her arms.
”Oh, really? Is it that popular a request now?” I asked, surprised.
”Yes. It appears to be an excellent next step for novice adventurers. It trains them to delve deeper into the forest, and the difficulty of material collection is low,” she explained, still maintaining her aloof air.
”Well, that’s a stroke of good fortune, ain’t it?” I chuckled.
Unexpected social contribution, huh? In the games from my old world, I always thought it was awfully convenient how the requests would step up as the protagonist grew stronger. Now I was the one issuing the convenient requests, and it was kind of hilarious. I couldn’t help but laugh.
”…Your way of laughing remains as untrustworthy as ever, fiend,” Tania huffed, an annoyed twitch in her elegant brow.
”Hey, now, that’s harsh. My business combines pleasure and profit, and it’s resulting in a public service! What’s not to be thrilled about?” I countered, taking out a fake cigarette and puffing on it.
It was my usual suspicious shop owner role-play. Tania’s face grew even more perplexed, but then she pressed her fingers to her forehead, sighed, and seemed to just give up on thinking about it. Kukuku, being baffled by a super-hot, cold elf like this—it’s irresistible.
”Fine, it is pointless to inquire about your true intentions. Rather, tell me, finally, what use this detritus of a useless monster is for. You promised me the first look at the new product, did you not?” she demanded, her voice tight with expectation.
”Ah, that was the deal, wasn’t it? You certainly did deliver these quickly, so I owe you. Since the launch is right around the corner, I’ll give you a simple explanation,” I agreed.
”I-Is that truly so…?” she gasped, leaning forward suddenly.
”Oh, wow…” I mumbled, startled.
She was very eager. I already knew this elf was hooked on my products, given how frequently she visited, but this was intense. I couldn’t help but gulp, imagining her pleasuring herself nightly. Just imagining her slender, elven body and her normally composed face contorted in rough self-gratification… Mmm. Ignoring my lecherous gaze—which she didn’t seem to notice—I quickly grabbed a Pororo Snail shell from the large bag she’d brought.
”Alright? First, we crush this thing into a manageable size,” I explained.
Sitting at the workbench, I took out a hammer and started tapping the shell—clang-clang—to break it. I’ve been doing this every day, so I’m an old hand at it now. Tania peered over my shoulder, snuffling with deep interest (fnuh-fnuh). That ought to do it. When the pieces were small enough, I took out one of the Metag Stones I kept stored in the workspace.
”What is that…?” she whispered, clearly intrigued.
”That’s a trade secret, for now. It’ll get out eventually, but for the moment, it’s confidential. Watch this—when I bring it close to these shell fragments…” I instructed.
As always, the Pororo Snail shell in my hand started to tremble vigorously (brrrt-brrrt). Tania’s eyes widened in sheer astonishment. Such an easy reaction to get! And here I thought elves were supposed to be unemotional; she’s surprisingly expressive.
”Wh-What is that phenomenon!?” she stammered, completely losing her composure.
”Search me. I don’t fully understand it either. All I know is that when this and that get close, it starts to vibrate all by itself,” I said with a shrug.
”W-Wait a minute. Have you published this reaction to the Academy…” she pressed, her voice urgent.
”Academy? Is that a thing? I’m a black-market magic item dealer, you know. I don’t know about that sort of stuff,” I dismissed easily.
Tania stared intently at the vibrating shell in my hand, muttering to herself, “Could it be some kind of power source…? No, if it keeps a fixed cycle, the latter is more likely…”. That all sounds interesting, but that ain’t my goal here.
”Hold on, ol’ girl, that’s not what this is about. I said it was a ‘new product,’ didn’t I?” I reminded her.
”Ah, ah… Yes. But what on earth do you intend to do with this?” she asked, pulling herself back together slightly.
”Heh-heh-heh. Take a look at this, then,” I cackled, enjoying the show.
I pulled the ‘Tremble-d**do-Buddy’ from my pocket and held it up to the still-confused Tania. It appeared with a sudden, thrumming presence (BRUM!). Tania’s cheeks flushed a delicate pink. Ahh, there’s nothing quite like this moment—showing off an adult toy, completely legally.
”This, my friend, is called the ‘Tremble-d**do-Buddy!’ It’s our brand-new product. When you press the switch on the bottom here…” I explained, my voice taking on a salesperson’s pitch.
Click went the switch, and the ‘d**do-Buddy’ began to shake with a loud “Vrrrrrr!”. This time, Tania finally understood what the vibration was for. Her face turned crimson all the way to her elven ears, her eyes wide with horror and awe.
”Wh-Wh-What is that…!” she squeaked, utterly mortified.
”Kukuku, you get it now? That’s right! What do you think happens when you put this shaking ‘d**do-Buddy’ against a sensitive spot? You can, of course, use it in the usual way too. Just for your information, my girl Lily was left so weak she couldn’t even stand up!” I boasted, my voice dripping with lewd pride.
She was clearly imagining herself using the ‘Tremble-d**do-Buddy,’ because Tania’s face grew even redder, and her entire body shivered (burrr-burrr). She pressed her thighs together suggestively and hugged her own body with both arms.
”H-How much is it…?” she breathed out, her voice barely a gasp.
”Huh?”
”Name your price, I will buy it! How much for that ‘Tremble-d**do-Buddy’? Let me purchase it now!” she insisted, leaning in so close her hot breath and spit misted my face.
Whoa… Gotta hand it to the elves; that face is a weapon of devastating attractiveness. I instinctively took a step back, pushed by her raw, beautiful force.
”W-Wait a minute. It’s mostly finished, but I want to do a little more adjustment. I can’t sell a defective product to a customer, can I?” I stammered, recovering my footing.
”Adjustment? What adjustment? How long will that take!?” she barked, completely out of character.
”J-Just calm down. It’s simple, really. Right now, it’s just on-or-off. If I mess up the output adjustment, it could be catastrophic. I’m trying to find the sweet spot for the strength…” I explained, trying to sound reasonable.
”Guh…! Th-That much can be improvised! Why not prepare a few different strength settings and let the customer choose…?” she argued, visibly frustrated.
”Nope, can’t do that. Like I said, this thing is strong enough to knock even Lily off her feet. If a customer collapses in their bedroom and their roommate finds them, or worse, if they don’t get found and just lie there, that’s a responsibility I can’t take on as a shop owner,” I stated firmly.
That’s part of my own personal professional ethics. In this world, the advent of magic has allowed for a certain level of civilization, but they haven’t set up safety standards. If you’re doing something truly wicked, the military police might haul you in, but otherwise, the consumer is just out of luck. I can’t in good conscience let that happen.
”You… you have an incredibly strange sense of integrity, fiend…” Tania marveled, her indignation softening to a grudging respect.
”I’m in the business of dealing with the customer’s most delicate parts, you see. I gotta be careful and conscientious about it,” I defended.
Tania ground her teeth in frustration (gnuh-gnuh). No matter how alluringly she glared at me, I wasn’t budging. I was about to tell her to wait until I’d done a few more experiments with Lily, when Lily herself—who had quietly slipped out from the living area—suddenly sidled up right next to Tania.
”And that is where you come in, dear customer!” Lily chirped.
”Hiyah! Wh-Wh-Why, Lily-sama!?” Tania let out a cute, surprised yelp, clearly having been too engrossed in the ‘Tremble-d**do-Buddy’ to notice her approach. Unperturbed, Lily continued to address the elf.
”Y-Yes, I see. I did promise to convey my usage impression to you, Lily-sama, did I not?” Tania asked, still flustered.
”Well, yes, but the situation has changed a bit. This time, we’d like you to use it right in front of my Master, if you would,” Lily cooed, her eyes shining with mischief.
”Wh-What!? There is no way I could do that!” Tania recoiled, blushing violently.
I was about to step in and object, but Lily shot me a quick, intense look that seemed to say, ‘Just keep quiet, Master,’ and pressed on with her persuasion.
”Of course, we wouldn’t ask for free. If you like it, you can take this ‘Tremble-d**do-Buddy’ home today, and if you continue to cooperate with us, you’ll get the first look at all future ‘new products,’ too!” Lily tempted, her voice a syrupy promise.
”But, but even so…” Tania protested weakly.
”Tania-sama, I believe you were a big fan of the ‘Cli**oris Service Edition,’ weren’t you?” Lily asked, switching tactics.
”Eh? Ah, yes. You recommended it to me, and I was grateful for that, but…” Tania admitted, her resistance crumbling.
”What if we were able to miniaturize this vibration feature and implant it into that…?” Lily whispered, letting the implication hang in the air.
”…!” Tania gasped, her eyes wide.
”And then there’s the dedicated device we’re developing for N**ple stimulation…” Lily continued, relentlessly building the fantasy.
”…!? ” Tania stammered, clutching her chest.
”Naturally, we are also considering a model that fixes directly onto the Cli**oris, and another that is enlarged to bring about an even greater, unknown pleasure…” Lily whispered, leaning in conspiratorially.
”…!?!??!” Tania was now simply making shocked, breathy sounds.
”In fact, it’s not just the ‘Tremble-d**do-Buddy’! Our shop is relentlessly developing new products like the ‘Warm-Warm d**do-Buddy,’ the ‘Wiggle-Wiggle d**do-Buddy,’ and even others whose names are still TBD, like ‘N**ple-Cli** Lick-Lick’ and ‘N**ple-Cli** Suck-Suck’. We have no end to our pursuit of novelty!”
”…!!! !? !? ? !” Tania was utterly lost, a victim of her own burgeoning desire.
It was the devil’s whisper. Lily’s voice, thick and slick with persuasion, poured directly into Tania’s pointy elven ear. It was the perfect technique of a master con artist—and the question was, what would Tania choose?
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Summary:
The shop owner and his assistant Lily finally wrap up development on the ‘Tremble-d**do-Buddy,’ a new, vibrating magic item that promises intense pleasure. The owner is interrupted by his favorite elven adventurer and materials supplier, Tania, who is desperate for the new product. While the owner hesitates due to safety concerns, the crafty Lily sees a golden opportunity, relentlessly tempting the flustered elf with promises of early access to all future climax devices. It’s a hilarious battle of wills against utter desperation and sexual novelty.
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Character Insight:
Lily’s deep loyalty to her master is only surpassed by her shrewd business sense and willingness to manipulate. She sees Tania, a beautiful, high-strung elf, as the perfect, desirable test subject, a ‘duck with a leak on its back’¹ ready for plucking. This scene shows her cunning and her personal enjoyment of the chaos she creates for the sake of the shop’s new adult products.
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Behind the Scene:
The shop owner is surprisingly ethical about the safety of his sex toys, a funny contrast to his overall lecherous personality and illegal product business. His hesitation to sell an un-calibrated device is overcome by Lily’s aggressive sales pitch and Tania’s overwhelming desire for the powerful vibrating tool. The scene perfectly sets up the next chapter’s embarrassing product testing.
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T/L:
1 ‘鴨がネギ背負って’ (Kamo ga negi seotte) is a Japanese proverb that literally means ‘A duck carrying a green onion on its back,’ referring to an easy mark or a customer who brings everything necessary for their own consumption—like a duck for the pot that brings its own seasoning. ↩
Notes:
• Tania – An Elf adventurer who, despite her race’s reputation for low sex drive, is secretly quite passionate. She initially seemed ‘wasted’ (emotionally dry) to her friend Raika, but was easily introduced to the pleasure-items sold at ‘Harvest.’ She is easily embarrassed and attempts to maintain a dignified facade, despite her recent, frequent purchases. She wears practical but light armor over a simple cloth tunic and short pants, highlighting her grace and agility. Her primary relationship is one of friendly senior-junior with Raika.
• Lily – the sl*ve and primary experiment subject for the magic shop, ‘Harvest.’ She has striking pink hair, Blue eyes, medium breasts, which the Protagonist associates with being ‘wanton’. She has a working knowledge of magic, which she kept hidden from the slave trader.
• Sera – A young, earnest salesperson from the Tasogare Merchant Guild, Kento’s supplier. She is characterized by her braided brown hair, large round glasses, and freckles. She’s serious about her job and easily flustered, especially by Kento’s adult goods business. Looks like Onodera from certain series.
• Marm – The attractive, red-haired, tanned receptionist at the Adventurer’s Guild. She wears a uniform that emphasizes her ‘nice body.’ She is kind and acts like a supportive ‘big sister’ figure to Kento. Looks like Mirajane Strauss from certain series.
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Edited by Kanaa-senpai.
Thanks for reading.
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