Chapter 478 Negotiations Begin
Edited by: Kanaa-senpai
”I-told-you! I’m saying it’s impossible!”
”Don’t be like that. One shouldn’t heartlessly reject a lady’s invitation, you know? Come now, just a quick bang and a squirt inside me would be fine. As long as I get your seed, I’ll handle the rest and raise the child with care…”
”What do you mean ‘just a little squirt’?! That is wrong in every possible sense of the word!”
It had been a few days since I’d started trying to convince myself that this was all a hallucination. Carley¹, the Ancient Elf also known as “Haha-sama”², had apparently realized her situation. She’d cast aside all shame, reputation, and charm to start spouting the most bizarre things.
She usually behaves herself when I bring my beloved daughter Momo along, but the moment I show up alone to adjust the magic circuits³ on her restraints, this is what I get. I can’t tell how serious she’s being, but it’s clear she’s bored out of her mind.
”Gustav! She’s your mother! Do something!”
”La la la… I can’t hear a thiiiing ssu…”
”Don’t you dare check out on me! This is your ‘Haha-sama’ we’re talking about!”
Since we’ve been seeing each other every day and she’s been doting on Momo, I don’t feel the need to maintain as much distance as I do with the people at the castle. She’s already gone off the deep end, so I’ve stopped holding back lately too.
Specifically, Gustav, who’s supposed to be the leader of an elite assassin group, has been completely broken by the sight of his mother figure’s mental collapse. Well, hearing your mother talk like that is probably one of the things you’d least want to hear in this world, so I can’t exactly blame him for escaping reality. Still, I really wish he’d step up.
”Besides, I know Elf biology isn’t that simple! You’ve seen Wakaba and my wife, haven’t you? I went into that marriage prepared for it to take decades to conceive!”
”Hm? Oh, so you have been thinking about it properly. In that case, it would be best if we could settle down and set aside one week every month as a ‘private session’ – strictly scheduled around my cycle, of course.”
”That’s why I said I’m not doing it! How many times do we have to go over this?! Negotiations are finally moving in a friendly direction, and you’re going to ruin everything!”
This Ancient Elf has a face thicker than a law book. And just as we were bickering over these idiocies, the official envoys from the Wielope Empire⁴ finally arrived.
When we sent Gustav and his team back last time, the Empire completely ignored us. But this time, they came head-on to negotiate for Carley’s release. I can certainly feel the difference in treatment; considering how Carley has supported Wielope since before its founding, her being “irreplaceable” is a reasonable assessment.
The demand from the Wielope side was, naturally, the return of Carley. Additionally, they made mention of Gustav and the others. They likely predicted that Carley had already leaked information to us. Rather than feigning ignorance about leaked intel, it seems they’ve prioritized the recovery of their precious pawns.
And of course, it wouldn’t be a negotiation without an offer of compensation. They proposed the restoration of the blockaded East-West Trade Route⁵ – basically, a return to full diplomatic and commercial ties.
Currently, the leadership of the Canaria Kingdom⁶ is racking its brains over this proposal. The question is whether this offer is sufficient compensation for the handover of Carley.
If commerce is restored, we can prevent a repeat of the crisis the Merchant Guild Tasogare⁷ faced a while ago. Back then, the eastern border with the Wielope Empire was closed, and the trade route with the Ferguson Kingdom to the west was severed by a “Stampede”⁸, leaving the guild in a desperate situation.
Furthermore, restoring diplomatic relations has been a long-cherished goal for our country since the coronation of Her Majesty Queen Canaria. Since the death of the previous King and Queen, Her Majesty had to take the helm of the government as a young girl; to put it simply, she’s been looked down upon by other nations. This would be a major step in restoring our international status.
However, these conditions benefit not only our country but the Wielope Empire as well. First, the profit from trade naturally benefits both nations. Since it’s business, if we make money, they’re bound to make money too.
And regarding the restoration of diplomatic relations, it might actually favor the Wielope Empire, which has been internationally isolated since it began its expansion. Basically, our country would be seen as their ally, which could be perceived as a threat by other nations.
If we restore relations unconditionally, it might cause the Coalmine Kingdom to the north, the Ferguson Kingdom to the west, and the Sylvaol Kingdom to the southwest – all members of our “Dildo-Buddy Trade Zone”⁹ – to doubt us. They might worry that the Canaria Kingdom has succumbed to the Wielope Empire and will act as their vanguard in an invasion.
Since we can’t exactly leak the existence of Carley to other countries – at the Empire’s request – it would look to the outside world like we suddenly started playing nice with Wielope for no reason at all.
So, even if we do restore relations, we must demand reparations for the countries that suffered during Wielope’s expansion, as well as an improvement in their coercive policies and a withdrawal of their troops.
That would make it clear who held the initiative in these negotiations. At the very least, it would show that the Canaria Kingdom doesn’t condone the Empire’s policies.
The crux of the current situation is that it looks like it’ll take a long time to finalize the deal, and the situation is incredibly sensitive. In other words, having s*x with this hag – uh, I mean, “Elder Sister” – is absolutely out of the question.
”…Do you actually understand any of this?” I asked.
”Umu. How many centuries do you think I sat at the heart of human power? When it comes to diplomatic negotiations, I have chewed through every back-alley deal and sugar-coated lie the world has to offer.”
”Then-“
”-Then why should our baby-making be caught up in such petty nonsense?”
Carley spoke with an expression of pure, unadulterated confusion. I wanted to snap at her not to call it “our baby-making” because it sounded way too vivid, but she looked so genuinely puzzled that it was a lost cause.
”What do you mean ‘why’?! It’s obviously not allowed!”
”Why?”
”Because you’re basically a mother to His Imperial Majesty, aren’t you? Even if not, you’re a benefactor to their country and an indispensable existence. If someone like you were taken by force in a foreign land and – heaven forbid – returned with a big belly, it would be an immediate declaration of all-out war!”
”Is that so?”
”It is!”
”However, I don’t see why the ‘children’ should stick their noses into my child-bearing. Even little ‘Dee-bou’ – the Emperor – doesn’t report to me when he adds to his harem. He knocks up whoever he wants and just drops the babies off for me to look after.”
”Look, I don’t know about his family drama, but…”
With a dead-serious face and a strange persuasiveness, Carley closed the distance. Well, she is beautiful; she’s an Elf, after all. As for her chest… well, just like my dear Tania, it was flatter than a board. Even though she’s “Haha-sama,” I wonder why? No, it’s not a “why” or anything, but it’s not like all Elves are flat. Some of the Elves who have started coming to the shop are quite well-endowed… No! Stop! What am I thinking?!
”Oh, that was a good look just now. To have a male look at me like that… how many centuries has it been? No, it might be closer to a thousand years. Now then, let’s just do a quick bang and a squirt…”
”I-said-no! I told you I’m not doing it! Gustav! Gustav, help me!”
”Hehe… the sun feels so warm… it’s such a nice day…”
”Gustav!?”
In the end, I had to kick the brain-dead Gustav and use him as a human shield to kill Carley’s mood. I managed to escape with my virtue intact… for today.
—
Summary:
As the Wielope Empire sends official envoys to negotiate for Carley’s release, the protagonist deals with her increasingly aggressive s*xual advances. Carley treats the potential political fallout of a pregnancy with complete nonchalance, comparing it to the Emperor’s own harem antics. Meanwhile, the protagonist analyzes the geopolitical risks of reopening trade routes and the potential backlash from his current allies.
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Trivia:
- Carley is biologically an elf but is treated as a mother by the human Emperor.
- The ‘Dildo-Buddy Trade Zone’ is a serious economic alliance despite its name.
- Gustav is completely mentally broken by his mother figure’s behavior.
- Canaria Kingdom’s international reputation is weak because the Queen is young.
- Carley has been alive for at least a millennium
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Character Insight:
Carley displays a complete disconnect between her vast political experience and her personal desires, viewing international war as a ‘petty’ distraction from her goal of conceiving. The protagonist shows his competence as a ruler by identifying the hidden diplomatic traps in the Empire’s seemingly generous offer.
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Behind the Scenes:
The author uses the contrast between the high-stakes political drama and the protagonist’s ‘Adult Goods’ shop context to maintain the story’s unique tone.
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TL Notes:
Notes:
• Carley – Ancient Elf ‘Mother’ (Haha-sama) of Wielope Empire—young beautiful elven looks w/ ancient aura, long autumn-leaf green hair, flat-chested soft body, carefree villain matriarch to assassins/royalty like Emperor ‘Dee-bou’ & Gustav. Forest Blessing granter, founder/supporter, blunt/pragmatic, Kento progeny-obsessed, chill under magic/tentacle restraints.
• Momo – The newborn daughter of Kento and Lily. She has pink hair and her father’s ear and eyebrow shapes. Very energetic and vocal for an infant. Approximately one year old. Capable of standing on her own and mimicking simple words. Energetic and affectionate. The shopkeeper’s eldest daughter who has recently started speaking.
• Gustav – Leader of the Wielope Empire’s elite ‘Shadow’ assassin crew—captured in royal dungeon & victory parade hit, now snagged by shop defenses. Die-hard Emperor loyalist, shakes at the thought of Carley getting hurt from political fallout.
• Wakaba – Newborn son of Kento and Tania. A half-elf magic user with large Mana Circuits. Has squishy cheeks, tiny fingers, and soft floppy ears. Emits magical discharges when throwing tantrums. The newborn son of Kento and Tania. Has green hair and elf ears.
• Tania – An Elf adventurer who, despite her race’s reputation for low sex drive, is secretly quite passionate. She initially seemed ‘wasted’ (emotionally dry) to her friend Raika, but was easily introduced to the pleasure-items sold at ‘Harvest.’ She is easily embarrassed and attempts to maintain a dignified facade, despite her recent, frequent purchases. She wears practical but light armor over a simple cloth tunic and short pants, highlighting her grace and agility. Her primary relationship is one of friendly senior-junior with Raika.
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Edited by Kanaa-senpai.
Thanks for reading.
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