Chapter 515 A Pep Talk
Edited by: Kanaa-senpai
Busy… It’s just plain weird. Up until the other day, I was supposed to be on paternity leave, spending my days in a blissful, hilarious blur with my wives and kids.
When did the work start piling up again? Looking back, it probably started with the “Great Mother” herself, Carley, descending upon us from the Wielope Empire¹ to the east. Since then, things have moved at breakneck speed. Trade with Wielope is back on, which means I’ve been scrambling to develop products for their market and ramping up production. I mean, it’s not like anyone is forcing me to do it, but as a merchant, I can’t stand to let an opportunity like this slip through my fingers. If we make it, it sells-simple as that. Plus, I want to make sure my partners in the Tasogare Merchant Guild get their piece of the pie too.
Then there’s the “stud duty” Carley personally requested. It’s a lot of work, to put it lightly. Don’t get me wrong, I’m looking forward to the actual “act,” but I have to make sure she’s pregnant before winter breaks. That means I’m making daily trips to see her, and man, it’s draining.
On top of that, I’m still in the middle of a massive product recall. We’re getting a steady stream of repair requests for the “Hot-Shot-kun” units from the Coalmine Kingdom in the north and Duke Badcage’s territory. It was a blessing that we caught the issue before winter really set in, but the logistics are still a nightmare. Between directing the local response teams and developing a new “Hot-Shot-kun” model with easy-to-swap internal parts, my plate is overflowing.
I’ve also got a similar headache with a damaged “Ddo-Buddy”-the “Warrior Alex” model. I’m currently waiting for the client to greenlight the “resuscitation,” but I want to make sure we handle it perfectly. The “Dio-Buddy” line and our heavy users are the backbone of this shop; if I don’t treat them with the respect they deserve, it’ll haunt my business for the next twenty years.
And then there was that trade proposal that landed on my desk the other day from Sylvaol, the maritime nation to the southwest. First step: more production. I sent a letter to the territory of Viscount Nixfen, where our factory is located, but I’m not sure they can keep up. Speaking of which, I wonder how the Pororo Snail breeding project is going. I left it in the hands of Kushe, the lead Court Mage of Coalmine. She’s top-tier, so I’m sure she’ll pull it off, but with winter coming… I hope those snails can survive the frost.
Whoops, I’m rambling. Finally, there’s the matter of that “Messenger of a Certain Someone” from the Southern Continent. I already reported it to Her Majesty the Queen, and we’ve decided to give them the state-guest treatment for now, but who knows where that’s headed. The worst part is I have no idea what’ll happen if we piss them off. Who is this “Certain Someone” anyway? Is it some kind of monkey king? I’m glad they like our stuff, but they’re way too impulsive.
Oh, and I guess there’s the Church stuff too… There’s a faction that’s unhappy with the “Holy Figure.” Carley, the Holy Figure herself, and the Queen seem to be handling it, but I can’t help but worry. Come to think of it, I haven’t seen Archbishop Trantestar lately. Is he caught up in that mess too? Eh, whatever. It’s not like me to sit around worrying about another man.
Let’s see, anything else? Wielope, the recall, Sylvaol, the Church… Ah, Ferguson in the west… No, nothing going on there.
”──ter.”
I did hear from a palace maid that Prince Roland-dono and the daughter of the Duke of Greter, Unia, finally managed to “redo” their first kiss properly. But that’s about it.
”──Master.”
(Hmm, maybe I should add ‘How to Handle Women’ to His Highness’s curriculum? The ‘Social Studies Field Trips’ are getting a bit stale. Maybe I should just throw him into a workplace full of women and see if he survives…)
”Master!”
”Wha-? Oh, Lily. What’s up? Is the morning sickness getting to you?”
I snapped out of it to find my favorite experiment slave, Lily, peering into my face. We were in the parlor of the Dildo-Buddy Mansion, on our usual sofa, with my daughter Momo sitting on my lap.
Lily recently got pregnant with our second. I still remember when she was carrying Momo; she had it rough. She was doubled over, retching nearly every single day. I was worried this time would be a repeat of that, but…
”Fortunately, it’s not so bad this time. But never mind that-I’m worried about you, Master.”
”Uh, me? Did I do something…?”
I mumbled, not quite sure why she looked so annoyed. I tried to play it cool by tickling Momo, who’s been getting more beautiful by the day.
”Kyaaa!”
Yeah, she’s precious. Every time I look at her, she’s bigger and cuter-her stats are literally Limit Break-ing. It gives me such a bad case of cute aggression that I almost feel like I need to gobble her up before she’s old enough to get married. (No, I won’t actually eat her, but man… if only I had a camcorder. I’d record every second of this. I finally get why my parents were always obsessed with taking photos and videos when I was a kid.)
”It’s not a matter of ‘did you do something.’ I’m asking if you’re planning on working the shop floor today.”
”Oh… sorry. I was just lost in thought. Hmm… maybe I’ll take the day off.”
”I thought so. You’ve never been very good at the management side of things, have you, Master?”
”Wait, what?”
That stung. But Lily didn’t seem to care; she just scooped Momo up, sat down on my lap herself, and then-shouting “Squeeze!”-pressed Momo right against my face and hugged me tight. Momo joined in with her own “Squeeze!”, burying my face in her tiny body.
Mmm. This is it. The Full Course of Happiness. Momo’s a lot heavier than she was as a newborn, but I’ll take it. After a while, Momo got bored and they both shifted to my side.
”Because it’s true, isn’t it? Even up until now there have been busy times, but you’ve never been this spaced out. You don’t even have the energy to do the one thing you usually look forward to-manning the shop.”
”…You’ve got a point.”
(She’s right. The problem is that none of the stuff on my plate right now involves me actually doing things with my hands. Giving orders and waiting for reports is easy on the body, but it’s a total grind on the soul. I’m just not built for it. I was probably spacing out just trying to find something I could actually get my hands dirty with. I’m just restless, I guess. If I’m willing to give up shop-keeping-the one thing that keeps me sane-I must be in worse shape than I thought.)
”…Maybe I should ask the Queen for some management tips.”
”That might be a good idea. But really, the best thing would be to stop overthinking everything.”
”…That’s the hardest part.”
”Then let me carry some of that weight. Come on-spit it out. Tell me everything that’s bothering you.”
So, I did. I told Lily every single thing that had been swirling around in my head. Momo listened too, though I’m not sure how much she actually understood. She ended up falling asleep halfway through, her soft little breaths the only sound in the room.
By the time I was done, I felt a hell of a lot lighter. A good wife is truly a man’s greatest asset. I have a feeling I’ll be answering to her for the rest of my life.
”I see. So, for the most part, there’s nothing you can actually do right now but wait.”
”Yeah. It’s mostly just waiting for replies. I feel like I should be doing something, but everything is so delicate…”
”In that case, let’s focus on the one thing you can definitely move your hands for. It’s Carley-sama. Please go and do it so thoroughly that you can say for sure she’s pregnant. That’s your specialty, isn’t it?”
”Ah… right. Yeah. I’ll… I’ll give it my all.”
Yeah. In more ways than one, I’m never going to be the boss of her.
—
Summary:
The Protagonist is feeling the weight of sudden administrative burdens after returning from paternity leave. He juggles trade with Wielope, a product recall, and diplomatic pressure from the South. Lily intervenes, helping him vent his frustrations and redirecting his focus to his ‘duty’ with Carley.
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Trivia:
- The Protagonist is technically on paternity leave, but trade with Wielope broke it.
- Pororo Snails are sensitive to cold.
- Warrior Alex is actually a high-end adult toy requiring ‘resuscitation’ (repair).
- Prince Roland and Unia just successfully had a ‘redo’ kiss.
- Lily’s first pregnancy involved severe morning sickness, unlike this one
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Character Insight:
The Protagonist suffers from ‘managerial burnout,’ preferring hands-on labor over logistics. Lily demonstrates her role as his primary emotional anchor, showing high EQ by sensing his distance even when he tries to hide it with playfulness.
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Lore And Worldbuilding Context:
The term ‘experiment slave’ refers to Lily’s origin as The Protagonist’s first test subject for his modern-world goods, though she is now his wife.
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Glossary:
Notes:
• Carley – Ancient elf Captain of the Wielope Empire, known as Haha‑sama, sports youthful elven beauty with long autumn‑leaf green hair and a flat‑chested soft form. She’s a blunt, pragmatic matriarch to assassins and royalty (e.g., Emperor Dee‑bou, Gustav), grants Forest Blessings, influences church‑state talks, and remains chill even under magic or tentacle restraints.
• Nixfen – A viscount aristocrat who has started manufacturing and selling adult goods similar to Kento’s products in the Royal Capital’s pleasure district. He is described as a ‘pretty boy’ or ‘gentle-looking man’ (yasao) but is a territory-holding noble likely trained in combat.
• Kushe – Chief Mage of the Coalmine Kingdom—a blunt, mischievous court mage and Kento’s companion. Dark green hair worn haphazardly under a loose robe, she’s assertive, knee-complaining, and leaks secrets to push things forward.
• Trantestar – The middle-aged man Archbishop of Canarias and the initiator of the current trial. He is an alleged ally of Kento but remains suspiciously neutral.
• Roland – Prince and younger brother of both Queen Cecile and the King of Ferguson, heir to the Canaria throne. He sports clean golden‑blonde hair matching the queen, an innocent, delicate face that could be mistaken for a girl, yet dresses in formal boy’s attire. Close to Unia.
• Unia – Third daughter of the Duke of Greter, head of the Ferguson delegation. She has blonde hair styled intricately, a dol‑like beauty, an expressionless face, and is noted for her sharp, perceptive demeanor.
• Lily – Pink‑haired, blue‑eyed woman with a medium bust, called a wanton by the protagonist. Jin’s experiment slave and wife, pregnant with her second child, she is a Harvest shop slave and primary test subject who secretly wields magic, Kento’s love‑slave, watches repairs energetically, flashes V‑signs, tends the Dildo‑Buddy Mansion garden, and informs the protagonist on domestic and political matters.
• Momo – Pink-haired toddler, daughter of Jin and Lily, inherits her father’s ear and eyebrow shape; exceptionally cute, energetic, and affectionate. At one year old, she can stand, babbles simple words, and delights in learning to walk through the garden. As the shopkeeper’s eldest child and one of the protagonist’s offspring, she was celebrated with a cherished birth gift a year ago.
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Edited by Kanaa-senpai.
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