Chapter 78 The Court Mage Victim
Edited by: Kanaa-senpai
”It’s just simple tea, but…”
”Th-thank you…”
Lily, the experiment subject slave, offered the tea, mimicking the line I use when serving drinks. Satsuki, the Court Magician sent to us, watched the whole thing with a deeply conflicted expression.
She must have been worried it was laced with an aphrodisiac, but after tentatively taking a sip, her face brightened immediately, and she thanked Lily. I got the feeling she wasn’t a bad person.
”Um, can I just call you Satsuki?” I offered carefully.
”…Suit yourself,” she stated flatly, still glaring at me.
Getting stared down by a black-haired beauty, who appeared to be a quarter-islander from a land in the East, was supposed to be a reward! ¹ However, I certainly couldn’t say that out loud, so I just sipped the tea Lily poured for me, too.
”Well, anyway, sorry for causing trouble.”
”It’s nothing. It’s my job. And it was more like I was taking out my frustration on you—venting about complaints I couldn’t voice to Your Majesty or the Chief Magician. So, I’m the one who should apologize.”
She said so, looking chagrined, perhaps having felt a little better after vigorously swinging her staff. Yeah, she really didn’t seem like a bad person. She glanced at Tania and the others who were still working and spoke again.
”I read your thesis.”
”Huh? Oh, thanks for that…”
”The writing is cold and strictly ‘play’-free, yet the things you’re creating are vulgar magic tools. I expected some sort of maniacal magic toolmaker to appear, but you’re just… a normal man.”
It seemed she was a classic ‘magic user,’ the type who valued including ‘flair’ in her thesis, like personal hardships or lessons learned. Amelia, His Majesty, and Professor Soi had all given it decent reviews, though. But then again, they weren’t ‘magic users,’ so perhaps they were just more lenient about that sort of thing.
”But still, you’re different from what Grandma told me.”
”Oh? That’s interesting. What did Old Lady Miranda say?”
”She said you were a good man. Especially good for ‘making him shower you with gifts and then dumping him’ later.”
”That hag…! Does that old woman still have such a great personality?”
I quickly corrected myself, deciding that ‘old bat’ might be going too far, but Satsuki didn’t seem to care. She raised her palms upward in a ‘good grief’ gesture. I suppose that old woman treats her own granddaughter exactly the same way.
”…But Satsuki, why were you assigned to my shop? Since you’re the old lady’s granddaughter, shouldn’t your specialty be herbs or magic potions?”
”My specialty and Grandma’s are different. I primarily research the processing and utilization of mineral-based resources.”
”Ah, well, that’s certainly a bullseye, isn’t it…”
”Plus, I was taught a bit of herbology, and since you’re her disciple, various things piled up, and this is the result.”
It sounds like she’s absolutely miserable. It must be tough to have your research field decided without your knowledge. I truly sense the difficulty and sorrow of government service.
”Speaking of mineral systems, did you also make things like Golems?”
”Yes, that’s within my specialty. It’s been on the decline lately, so I’ve mostly been forced to research melting and solidifying minerals with magic to create better materials…”
Actually, I seriously considered using Golem technology for adult magic tools, too. There are even historical records of automatons being made for such purposes, but controlling them is difficult, the cost is astronomical, and the projects often stall.
Nobody is motivated when they spend an eye-popping amount of magic stones, only to end up with junk that trips after taking three steps. Naturally, I didn’t have that kind of money, so I gave up after just hearing the overview from Old Man Kogima.
I was thinking this as I watched Satsuki, who already had a jaded look about her before even joining the death march. She swept her long black hair up and began tying it back with a clip. I involuntarily found my eyes drawn to the nape of her neck. She spoke with a resigned sigh.
”So? I’ve been told to finish the heating magic tool by winter, but it looks like we won’t be able to get to that, will we?”
”Huh? Oh. That’s right. I’d actually like your help manufacturing the ‘Tremble-Ddo-Buddy’ as well.”
”I’ve always wondered, couldn’t you have done something about that name…?”
”It’s clear and effective, wouldn’t you agree? Anyway, I’ll show you the manufacturing process, so please join in.”
I told the black-haired beauty, who was staring at me with a cold, intense gaze, and walked over to Tania, who was still chanting ‘Hardening Magic’ alone. This is the process I should entrust to Satsuki, who must be qualified as a First-Class Magician, a Court Magician.
”Tania, got a moment? I want to teach the new person the job…”
”Mmm? Then, you should use that mold.”
”W-wait a minute! That Elf, is Tania perhaps…?”
As she looked at the space Tania had cleared on the workbench, Satsuki, whose hair was now tied back, suddenly looked panicked.
”What, you know her?”
”No? I shouldn’t know anyone among the current Court Magicians…”
”She’s the very first First-Class Magician in this country! How could I not know her!?”
”Oh, Tania, were you a First-Class Magician?”
”Ah, technically. Remember when I was researching the ‘Forbidden Tool’ at the Royal Library a while ago? I got the viewing permission using my First-Class Magician certification even then.”
”Whoa, that’s impressive!”
I twitched my ears for her, and our First-Class Magician Elf-sama smiled, narrowing her eyes happily. Satsuki watched this scene with a face that looked like she was about to shout, “You insolent fool!”
”Th-the founder of our nation’s ‘magic users’ is making vulgar magic tools in a suspicious back-alley shop… W-what in the world is going on!?”
”Don’t think too hard about it. I don’t really get it either.”
As I continued twitching my ears while trying to calm the crestfallen Satsuki, she seemed to give up and accept the fact with a completely defeated look. It seemed she had taken my advice and stopped thinking about it.
”Um, if you read the thesis, it’s mostly written there, but…”
”Yes. That’s the mixed fluid of Red Slime body fluid and Akanashi Tree sap. You pour it into the mold, set the vibration mechanism, and cast ‘Hardening Magic’—”
”Here in the shop, we call that mixed fluid ‘Ddo-Buddy Fluid’.”
”Why!? ‘Mixed Fluid’ is shorter and easier to say, isn’t it!?” she retorted.
Of course, it’s because it allows me to smirk. Enjoying Satsuki’s quick and witty retort, ² I immediately demonstrated how to make a ‘Tremble-Ddo-Buddy.’
I used to make them one by one, but now we have a mold that can produce several simultaneously. It’s easy to picture if you imagine a Taiyaki maker ³ from my previous world. Unfortunately, my magic power is not enough to run it many times, but Satsuki should be fine. Tania, by the way, can run it all day long.
”So, that’s how it’s done. Would you like to try, Satsuki?”
”Understood. I do this, and then… Hmm, it’s surprisingly difficult. I need to make sure the ‘Hardening Magic’ reaches every part… Okay, like this. There! How’s this?”
Satsuki pouted and furrowed her brow before successfully completing five ‘Tremble-Ddo-Buddies.’ I had been prepared to have her make them one by one if it was too hard, but it seemed unnecessary.
Also, I was undeniably moved by the sight of a beautiful black-haired woman looking happy while being forced to create this.
”Hmm, not bad. All that’s left is the quality check, and they’ll be complete. Since these are the first ones you’ve made, why don’t you take one home?”
”Oh, really? Thank you.”
”Huh? I was joking, but you’re actually interested, even as a Court Magician?”
”Idiot! It’s for reference! To be kept in the Royal Palace’s research lab!” she fumed.
Satsuki, looking cool even when she’s steaming mad, was immediately put to work on the manufacturing process.
We also have to make the ‘Uterine Massager,’ ‘Nple Clamper,’ other items, as well as aphrodisiacs and lotions, but I can handle those. For the time being, I want Satsuki to concentrate on the ‘Tremble-Ddo-Buddy.’
”Well, then, please get to it. Once the work here settles down, we can move on to the heating magic tool, so hang in there.”
”I’ll do it even if you don’t tell me. It’s a job I received directly from His Majesty, after all.”
And just like that, a new member joined our shop.
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Summary:
The Court Magician Satsuki, Miranda’s sharp-tongued granddaughter, is assigned to the shop. She’s initially appalled by the vulgarity of the adult magic tools despite respecting the Protagonist’s thesis. A surprising moment of tension breaks when she discovers the shop’s part-time worker, Tania, is the legendary first First-Class Magician of the country. With her mind blown, Satsuki gives up resisting and is quickly inducted into the ‘Tremble-Ddo-Buddy’ production line, officially making her the shop’s newest, and most unwilling, employee.
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Character Insight:
Satsuki is a professional who is rigid in her views on the nobility of magic, but her sense of duty and practical skills (mineral magic) are high. Her internal conflict between her prestigious role and the shop’s purpose is a key source of humor. The Protagonist finds her indignation attractive and relishes the chance to annoy her with product names, showing his deliberate, playful provocativeness.
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Behind the Scene:
This chapter establishes Satsuki as a new, highly skilled, but constantly exasperated member of the team, injecting fresh conflict. The revelation of Tania’s and, by extension, the Protagonist’s high-level magic credentials is used to shock the new, conventionally-minded character, emphasizing that the shop’s lewd output is a choice made by true masters.
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T/L:
¹ Getting stared down by a black-haired beauty…was supposed to be a reward!: The Protagonist’s internal monologue is often focused on the lewd appeal of the women around him, even when they’re angry. It’s a key part of his personality, seeing attractive women’s strong emotions as ‘rewards’. ↩
² Enjoying Satsuki’s quick and witty retort: The original Japanese term is ‘tsukkomi’, which refers to the straight-man role in a Japanese comedy duo, typically offering a quick, witty, and logical counterpoint to the more absurd ‘boke’ (funny man). The Protagonist is enjoying Satsuki’s sharp, annoyed reactions. ↩
³ It’s easy to picture if you imagine a Taiyaki maker: A Taiyaki maker is a griddle or mold used to cook a Japanese fish-shaped cake, often filled with red bean paste. The Protagonist uses this real-world, multi-cavity cooking mold as the closest analogy for his new, mass-production mold for the adult toys. ↩
Notes:
• Satsuki – A talented Court Mage who was forced to analyze the shop’s adult magic tools. Miranda’s granddaughter. Now she’s the new worker at Harvest, a development she finds both humiliating and surprisingly fulfilling due to the rapid progress in her research under Kento’s guidance. Has long black hair, palace mage robe, and staff.
• Lily – the sl*ve and primary experiment subject for the magic shop, ‘Harvest.’ She has striking pink hair, Blue eyes, medium breasts, which the Protagonist associates with being ‘wanton’. She has a working knowledge of magic, which she kept hidden from the slave trader.
• Tania – An Elf adventurer who, despite her race’s reputation for low sex drive, is secretly quite passionate. She initially seemed ‘wasted’ (emotionally dry) to her friend Raika, but was easily introduced to the pleasure-items sold at ‘Harvest.’ She is easily embarrassed and attempts to maintain a dignified facade, despite her recent, frequent purchases. She wears practical but light armor over a simple cloth tunic and short pants, highlighting her grace and agility. Her primary relationship is one of friendly senior-junior with Raika.
• Amelia – The Sister of the Church of Demon-Subjugating, who usually buys from Kento, has light blue hair.
• Soi – An old professor from Ajire seminary, the first to raise a question. Looks like wizardly.
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Edited by Kanaa-senpai.
Thanks for reading.
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