Volume 10 Chapter 39 Shirogane Aqua, It’s Okay To Laugh Christmast Special Program, Part 2
Edited by: Kanaa-senpai
”Commendation… Oh, shoot, it’s upside down.”
I quickly change the direction of the commendation certificate.
Laughter can be heard from the audience.
”The commendation goes to Morita Kazumi-san! You have been the host of the long-running show ‘It’s Okay to Laught!’ for a long time. To celebrate that, we would like to present this commendation certificate on my behalf.”
As Morita-san blushes slightly, applause fills the room.
”Furthermore, due to my catastrophic writing ability, this commendation certificate was ghostwritten by Shintaro Mayuzumi-san!”
Immediately, Kaede, Morita-san, and followed by Kohina-senpai and Ayana stumble.
They all seem well-versed in variety shows… Especially Kaede, her reaction time is impressive. Sometimes, I wonder if she’s really a national broadcaster announcer.
”Today is a special day for the Christmas special episode. We have signed exclusive contracts with Morinaga-san, Fuji Department Store, Corolle Homme, Panasonic, Momofuku Food, and Coke. I am currently appearing as Kenzaki Souji, the Masked Driver in the popular national superhero drama. Looking ahead to January 1st, there will be a New Year’s special drama aired on the national broadcasting channel, where I will be playing the role of Abe no Seimei, the Onmyoji. Come December 25th, there will be an episode at USJ featuring beryl&beryl, and on the 26th, we will reach the final episode.
Oh, yes! That’s right! I am also currently starring as Satou Kazuya in the popular drama ‘My Honor Student Big Brother,’ which is being enthusiastically broadcasted every Monday at 9 PM on Fuji TV. I am grateful to have been invited by Beryl Entertainment’s Shirogane Aqua!”
”The advertisement is too long!”
Staff members told me to be mischievous, so I got permission from Fuji Ranko-san and I’m reading this. By the way, Grandmother Mary, Fuji Ranko-san, and Yakumo Itsuki-sensei were laughing out loud.
”Now that I think about it, my first meeting with Shirogane Aqua and Morita-san was on Music Stage.”
”Yeah, yeah. That’s right, that’s right. Even though it’s a different station, it doesn’t matter to Aqua-kun anymore.”
The audience chuckled, and the staff members burst into laughter.
”At that time, despite being warned by the staff not to jump off because it was dangerous, I got too excited after the performance and jumped off the stage, ending up hugging Director Hongou. I want to apologize for that here and now. M-Stage staff, I’m sorry!!”
”Let’s say that on M-Stage! I mean, we’re on a different station here!”
Thanks to Morita-san’s tsukkomi, the audience burst into laughter. Also, Kohina-senpai, there’s no need to tsukkomi anymore.
”Now, reflecting on it all, my collaboration with Morita-san has been quite eventful. It all kicked off with the broadcast of the final episode of Yuu-oni on the 26th.”
”You’ve mentioned that already!”
”Also, the second runway show, Halloween festival, matchmaking party, participation in the soccer world tournament, the ghost incident at Tenga-senpai’s new house…”
”And on a personal note, there was the near-accident when the two of us were rowing a boat in the park.”
”No, no, I don’t know of any of that!”
”By the way, Shintaro’s glasses suffered complicated fractures at USJ and sadly met their demise. Oh, this will be featured on beryl&beryl on the 25th!”
”Hey, you’re slipping in promotions left and right!”
”Ah, right, Infamous actress K.Y-san snatched my bento without permission, and when the kind and cute Tsukimachi Ayana-san witnessed it, tears welled up in my eyes as she generously shared half of her bento with me. In retaliation, I…oops, I accidentally mentioned the name. Um, I also have fond memories of discreetly enjoying Kohina-senpai’s favorite sweet tamagoyaki from her bento.”
”Wait a minute!? Does that mean even that salted salmon…?”
”Then, Kobayakawa-san ate five box lunches and ended up in the hospital. Meanwhile, Kuga Reira-san, who temporarily stayed at my house during her escape, left her luggage behind. Hakuryuu-sensei too, piled up too much work and got put under house arrest by the editor. Moreover, I thought the Driver wouldn’t return for a while during the filming because Director Hongou was mistaken for a suspicious person and questioned by the police due to his peculiar behavior.
By the way, Grandmother Mary had a health check, and her physical and internal ages both measured in their thirties. The Prime Minister invited everyone to a meal but hasn’t contacted me yet. Announcer Morikawa broke a bone in a lotion sumo match. But the local doctor who examined her turned out to be a self-proclaimed shaman and was recently arrested. It was also revealed that Mishu-sama is my other parent. Kanon was adorable this morning too. There were really a lot of things that happened!”
”Wait a minute!? I understand half of it, but there are some stories that nobody knows mixed in!”
Morita-san, thank you for the precise tsukkomi. And Ayana, thanks for stopping Kohina-senpai from going wild.
By the way, I’m the one who ate the salted salmon next to you. I repented in my heart.
Also, Kaede seems to have a haniwa-like face, wondering if she might not have a fracture. But don’t worry, it’s definitely a fracture. However, the X-ray the doctor showed me was someone else’s…
”And I won’t forget. The first time I appeared on Telephone Shock. It was so moving to be able to appear with Toa and others at the end, and I still remember it. That’s why, I talked with Morita-san about wanting to appear with the four of us next time.”
”Yeah, you said that.”
”How about it? I mean, why Kohina-senpai of all people now?”
”To tell you the truth, today I wanted to appear alone with Ayana, not Kohina-senpai.”
”Eh? Wait? Am I being left out?”
”Everyone, please check your watches. It’s already been over 20 minutes! Whenever Kohina-senpai appears, this always happens!”
”But your stories are just as long as mine, you know!?”
”Oh, sorry. Maybe my hearing suddenly got worse… Ah, it’s a bit hard to hear.”
”You conveniently become hard of hearing!”
Senpai, you really respond quickly.
”When talking about this show, there’s someone we must not forget. Let’s talk about Morita Kazumi-san, who has been the host of this show for many years.”
”Morita-san originally worked as a shady water purifier salesman, a suspicious recruiter for a new religious group, a facilitator for illegal immigration to Stars, and a genius reseller for Beryl Goods before entering the entertainment industry.”
”I didn’t do it. I didn’t do it!”
”She also make an imitation of a lizard, a card game in four languages, and fake foreign languages, among many other new talents, gained the support of pseudo-intellectual critics. Moreover, by mobilizing a large amount of secret funds, she even managed to bought a lot of sakura to gain viewers in this show, eventually becoming the popular host of the show citizen ‘It’s Okay to Laugh!!’”
”Hey! There’s no way Mayuzumi-kun and Aqua-kun came up with this part!”
I smirk at Morita-san’s words.
By the way, the ones who came up with this part were the producers and staff of the show.
”Well, it’s been a bit long, but this show will also come to an end today.”
”What!? This show is ending today? I didn’t hear about it!”
Morita-san, who is usually calm, is surprised and panicking.
Voices of astonishment can be heard from the audience seats.
”And starting from the next episode, in this show’s time slot, we will have the ‘It’s Okay to Steal It from Actress K-Hina Yukari-san’ show, as announced by Chairman Fuji Ranko. I questioned my sanity multiple times when I heard that.”
Kohina-senpai, you have that “are you serious?” look on your face, but of course, it’s a lie.
”Oh, today, once again, falling into the clutches of the Great Demon King, Kohina Yukari, will we see the production of the 2nd and 3rd Morikawa Kaede? My face can’t help but be surprised!”
Kaede, standing at the edge, nods vigorously with her arms crossed. I signal Ayana, who is at the back, with my gaze.
”But that’s all a joke, Morita-san!! Yes, it’s the 40th anniversary of the broadcast! Congratulations!!”
As I raise both hands high, Ayana, who was behind me, synchronizes and pops the confetti. At the same time, the sound of crackers fills the audience.
Congratulations calls erupt from the audience and the staff. And one by one, the regular cast members come down from the entrance where the confetti was set up, giving Morita-san a strong applause.
”Once again, congratulations!”
”T-thank you very much.”
After presenting the commendation to Morita-san, I also applaud.
”Morita-san, this program that began in 1982 has turned 40 this year.”
”Wow, that’s amazing.”
It truly is remarkable. I wonder again if it was a good thing for a young guy like me to present the commendation. I even talked to the producer and Ranko-san, saying that it might be better for someone closer to Morita-san, like the regular members or those with a closer relationship, to present it, thinking that she would be happier.
Even so, the producer and Ranko-san insisted that this program is not over yet. They wanted Morita-san to say, ‘There’s still more to come,’ to convey that this show will continue and that they want someone who will continue to pioneer and lead the way for the future to receive it.
They also asked me because they wanted Morita-san to say, ‘Please continue supporting us in the future!’ and to convey that there is still a long way to go. I felt I had no choice but to accept.
”I look forward to continuing working together!”
”The feeling is mutual. Oh, by the way, if I collapse halfway, will Aqua-kun take over for me?”
”Yeah, yeah, with Kohina Yukari-san too. Once you do it, it seems like the show won’t come back.”
In the distance, Kaede repeatedly nods vigorously.
Upon closer inspection, the other performers were also nodding.
”I-I’ll respond properly!”
Kohina-senpai, who noticed Kaede’s gaze, stumbles. What a convincing pressure. Kohina-senpai, there’s a proper precedent, you know.
Also, please check the program schedule for next month. From Kaede Morikawa’s room, it changes to small… Kaede Morikawa’s room? Isn’t it pitiful that Kaede, who is manipulated by the station, is being messed with?
Well, because it’s Kaede, she might eat something delicious or forget the next day after sleeping, but she’s at least a bit hurt. Please reflect a bit.
”I see, you’re taking over the program again.”
”W-Wait a minute…!?”
Kohina-senpai was frightened by Kaede, who approached her slowly like a ghost, and sought refuge behind Ayana. It wasn’t nice for a senior to use her junior as a shield, and Ayana, feeling bewildered, didn’t know how to react.
What? Perhaps Kohina-senpai isn’t comfortable with situations like that? Well, that’s fine. Hey, how about going to a haunted house together next summer for sure! Oh, and what if we do a live commentary of a horror game? Let’s have a blast fighting ghosts together!!
Kaede raised a large sign she had received from the staff who emerged from the back. The following words were written on it.
At the bottom right of the sign, a small message read, “From all the staff of Yuu-oni to Kohina Yukari-san, who is always causing a trouble.”
I’m sorry, kohina-senpai
I couldn’t help but laugh.
”Hey, did you know!?”
I shook my head vigorously.
”I really don’t know!”
”Yeah, really. So please don’t look at me like that.”
Kohina-senpai stared at me suspiciously. I’m not lying. Look at these sparkling eyes!
”No, really, I didn’t know either. Look, Ayana is surprised too.”
”W-Well, I didn’t know either.”
”Ayana-chan is fine. I trust her. But, useless Aqua… your unnecessarily sparkling eyes look suspicious.”
”These eyes have always been like this!”
I turned my gaze towards the approaching camera and winked lightly. I could hear screams that sounded more like cheers from the audience who saw it.
”So you’re trying to cover it up again, aren’t you?”
”See! I seriously thought Morikawa-san transformed and came out!!”
”No no, I’m not dead! Don’t just kill me without permission…”
Kohina-senpai keeps poking my side.
This is bad. It’s becoming chaotic again.
”Ugh, because of you, I actually wet myself a little earlier! Go buy me new underwear later, okay?”
Is it my fault? And is it okay to say that you wet yourself? Kohina-senpai, this is a nationwide broadcast!
Wait, am I a complete pervert for buying women’s underwear at a convenience store? Will I get arrested for that? Is it okay?
”Hey, Kohina-san!? That’s going too far!”
Morita-san and the other cast members hastily try to stop Kohina-senpai.
The staff members quickly switch to a commercial, being considerate.
”CM is in progress! Please return the performers to the backstage! Let’s begin preparations for the 108 minutes!”
The staff members bring out and set up the props during the CM.
As for Kohina-senpai, she was carried off by the performers on both sides and exited just like that.
Huh? Is she okay with that?
”The CM is over! 5, 4, 3…”
The program resumes with Kohina-senpai still missing.
Silently, Ayana, Morita-san, and I exchange glances.
I direct my gaze towards the camera and give a signal, then slowly lift up the teddy bear plushie placed next to me.
”Kohina-senpai, or should I say, Koguma-senpai. You’ve become quite, well, cute…”
Loud laughter erupts from the staff and the audience.
With Kohina-senpai gone, I once again realized her greatness.
She’s gone, yet still manages to make people laugh. It feels like I’ve been shown the true power of a comedian.
In my heart, I could hear Kohina-senpai’s voice shouting, “I’m an actress!” but it must have been my imagination.
Just as I was thinking that, I heard it from the wings of the stage, so it was real. Hey, can you please be a little quiet?
”Well then, I asked 108 people, what should we do?”
”I had been thinking about various things, you know.”
”Ywes. What should we do?”
I look at Ayana. After that, I turn my gaze to the audience and the cameras. Hey, everyone. Did you hear Ayana’s cute response just now? There’s something you can’t get from someone like Kohina-senpai here.
”Well, then, since it’s a special occasion, is it okay if Ayana and I do two?”
”Oh! Sounds good. Then I’ll do one too, so let’s try three.”
Cheers of joy echo from the audience.
”Well then, first from me, Yuu-oni, is everyone watching?”
”By the way, I’m Team Rina!! Calling all Rina fans, please press the button for me!! By the way, my guess is 108 people!!”
When I declared that I’m on Team Rina, the studio erupted into applause. The staff members were blowing whistles and twirling towels, clearly overjoyed. Wait, could it be that I’m going to win this by a landslide…?
”108 people, a perfect score, congratulations!!”
”Hey, hold on!!”
I heard Kohina-senpai’s voice, but it’s probably just my imagination. May Kohina find peace together.
”Ah, thank you very much.”
Seeing Ayana blushing, I think she’s so cute. Ah, she’s definitely different from Kohina-senpai. If this were a private moment, I might even pat her head.
After receiving a commemorative gift, I handed it directly to Ayana. I’m happy to see her delighted too.
”Um, well, so, even though it might be ordinary, there’s someone who really, really wants the ‘It’s Okay to Laugh!’ to continue forever! Of course, with 108 people!!”
Unlike Kohina-senpai, or rather, Koguma-senpai, everyone responds to Ayana’s fantastic question about reading the room.
And, of course, there’s only one answer.
”108!! Perfect score, congratulations! And, thank you!!”
Ayana receives the commemorative gift and passes it directly to Morita-san.
”Um, Morita-san, you’ve never received this, right?”
”Huh? Really, is it okay?”
”Y-yes. I just, um… Ah, because I got it from Kazuya-senpai earlier.”
”Good for you, Rina.”
Ayana, in a manner reminiscent of Rina, puffs her cheeks slightly, feeling embarrassed.
Everyone in the audience is incredibly delighted by our ad-lib performance.
”Hehehe, everyone, I finally received this. Oh, I’m so happy. I’ve been doing this show for years, you know. This is the first time I received this in 40 years. Thank you all once again.”
Morita-san slightly lifted her hips and bowed her head, placing both hands on the table. Of course, the audience responded with applause.
Seeing that, some of the staff members were moved to tears.
”Aqua-kun to Ayana-chan, and Ayana-chan to me, the only logical progression from here is for me to go to Aqua-kun, right? Please, everyone, read the atmosphere correctly!”
Everyone burst into laughter at Morita-san’s words. Ayana and I couldn’t help but laugh as well.
”On this Christmas Eve, I won’t specifically mention who made it possible, but everyone, was it amazing? It was the best, 108 people, please!”
In short, everyone perfectly understood the mood.
So, there are 108 people.
”Thank you for the best Christmas Eve, Aqua-kun. Yes, this is a commemorative item. It’s different from the last ballpoint pen, you know.”
”Oh, really? It’s a 3-color ballpoint pen now!”
I almost tripped over the subtle difference. It really feels like something Morita-san would do, incorporating such small details. I thought I lost one in the end.
”Hey! What do you mean there are 108 Rina fans!!”
”Oh, it’s Koguma-senpai.”
”Not Koguma-senpai, Ko-hi-na-sen-Pai!!”
Nice retort, Koguma-senpai.
”More importantly!! Actually, I was originally a Sayuki fan. Everyone, right? Of course, please be 108 people.”
Amazing. Even though it was a spontaneous remark, it’s a perfect Sayuki mode. Koguma-senpai, you really wanted that commemorative pen so much. With a somewhat resigned expression, the staff members activate the device.
Beep beep beep beep!
When Koguma-senpai looks at the numbers, she points to the electronic bulletin board and calls out to the staff member closest to him.
”Oh, it’s malfunctioning.”
”No, it’s perfectly fine.”
”Huh? But, it’s showing a zero…”
I gently place my hands on Koguma-senpai’s shoulders.
”Koguma-senpai, no matter how many times you look, zero is still zero. Please give up.”
”I said I’m not Koguma!”
”Koguma… or should I say, not Kohina-senpai, please just give up.”
”And even Ayana-chan, too! Again!?”
When the commercial starts again, Kohina-senpai is taken by the staff members and escorted offstage.
At the end, she shouted, “You guys really have no taste!” But the audience just read the atmosphere, so let’s not provoke her any further. If we do, the already small number of Kohina Yukari fans will decrease.
”Well, that’s the end of today’s Telephone Shock.”
”By the way, we’ve already spent 40 minutes on this. The show is about to end.”
Ah, this is all Kohina-senpai’s fault, isn’t it?
I make sure to show a face that says it’s not my fault.
I can hear a voice saying, “You have responsibility too,” but it’s probably just my imagination.
”Well then, can you introduce the next friend?”
”Well, I’ve been thinking about it, but who should it be? It’s January 1st next, right?”
”In that case… yes, I think I’ll ask this person.”
I beckon Kaede and whisper the name of the next guest in her ear.
Upon hearing it, Kaede calls over a staff member and asks them to bring her cellphone.
”Hm? Is that your personal cellphone?”
Kaede makes a call.
But it doesn’t connect right away. I wonder if everything’s okay.
Just as everyone begins to think that, the call finally connects.
”Hello, this is Morikawa Kaede from Fuji TV, not the national broadcasting… Well, how are you now?”
”I’m sorry. I laughed too much and leaked a little… Please wait just a moment.”
The audience who heard the voice murmured a little. But right after that, everyone burst into laughter at the sound of flushing toilets.
”Oh, hello, is this the Prime Minister?”
”Yes, it’s Prime Minister Habu of Japan. Morikawa-san, how about going for a drink again sometime?”
”Oh, yes. Well then, please wait a moment for the phone, okay?”
Kaede puts her phone between me and Morita-san.
”Prime Minister, long time no see. This is Shirogane Aqua, do you remember me?”
”Of course, I wouldn’t forget!”
”Hmm, is that so? Despite that, you forget about meals with me and go drinking with Announcer Morikawa.”
”Thump!? W-well, that’s, you know. It’s like, the ways of adults or something.”
The Prime Minister’s voice faltered, and jeers erupted from the audience.
”Get it together!”
”Do it properly!”
”It’s just like Parliament!”
”It’s the same old response!”
Upon hearing this, Morita-san and I exchanged wry smiles.
”Haha, just kidding! Well then, I’ll take the call for you.”
”Phew, thank goodness…”
”The call has been transferred. It’s Morita. Prime Minister, are you okay now? If you slip up, you’ll be grilled by Representative Kokucho in Parliament again!”
”I-I’m fine! I made it just in time!”
What on earth is going on with this exchange?
Even the audience looks incredulous, showing their gums.
”Oh, Prime Minister, it’s been over 45 minutes already. Can we wrap it up?”
”What!? Are you treating me so casually!?”
”Yes. So, will you be making your first appearance of the new year?”
”Thank you very much! Prime Minister, we’ll be waiting for your call.”
”Yes! I’ll definitely make it this time!”
There, the phone call ended.
After the phone call, Morita-san wiped the sweat from her forehead.
”Well, that was surprising. With the previous Mary-sama and now Aqua-kun, we call them casually, but they are all national leaders, you know. Huh? Could it be that they’re planning a world conference with ‘It’s Okay to Laugh’?”
Ayana, holding a koguma, came out from the side stage.
”Phew…that’s how it is. Today’s guests were Shirogane Aqua-san, Tsukimachi Ayana-san, and Koguma Yukari-san!”
”Wait a minute! Who’s Koguma Yukari!! It’s Ko-hi-ha! Kohina Yukari!”
Just as Kohina Yukari-senpai jumped out from behind, the program went into a commercial break.
Kohina-senpai, that was perfect timing.
So, you know, the regular members’ segment is still going on, so we’ll go back backstage. Yeah, yeah, you can poke my side as much as you want, but let’s not cause trouble for everyone.
”Hey, hey, don’t push me from behind again!”
While bowing to the audience, we pushed Kohina-senpai from behind and disappeared backstage.
Now, here’s a bonus.
After the show, following Kohina-senpai’s orders, I came to the convenience store inside the TV station.
A beautiful big sister, about college age, showed a dreamy expression when she saw my face. Since it’s a convenience store inside the TV station, the people working here are as beautiful as celebrities. I quietly approached her and whispered.
”Um, excuse me, but do you have women’s underwear?”
For some reason, the big sister went to the backyard and came back with two paper bags. Ah, I wonder if she packed the items behind me so that I wouldn’t be embarrassed. While I was thinking that, the big sister said something outrageous.
”Um, the one on the right is the one I haven’t worn yet, but it’s an old one. The one on the left is the… one I was wearing until just now. Um, which one do you prefer? Or, um, both is fine, I don’t mind…”
From the slightly open bag on the left, I caught a glimpse of black lace underwear.
E-eh…huh? The big sister has such an innocent face and hairstyle, but she’s wearing such a provocative thing? No, if I look closely, I can see her bulge even from the top of her convenience store uniform. This big sister…undoubtedly possesses something amazing.
Wow, they say that looks aren’t everything for women, but I’ve definitely been proven wrong! No, not that!!
”No, um…I’m happy about that, but it’s not about that, it’s about the new ones…”
”Ah! I’m sorry. I misunderstood. It’s this way.”
Phew, I felt a bit disappointed, but it was probably just my imagination. I follow the big sister to the shelf where the underwear is displayed.
”This is it, right? What size would you like?”
”Um, the smallest one, maybe? Probably even the kids’ size would be fine…”
”Will it fit?”
The big sister comes closer to me, her breath audible, and presses that big thing against my arm.
”Dear customer, we also have a fitting room in the back yard. Would you like to try it on?”
”T-try it on!?”
Whoa, wait a minute… The big sister will wear it for me? Ah, I get it now. So that’s the kind of service they offer at the convenience store… No way!!
”Excuse me. Miss from the convenience store, that’s enough, okay?”
Who, who said such a wasteful thing!? I turned towards the voice and there was Ayana with a cold gaze.
”Oh, I’m sorry. I just…”
The convenience store big sister moved away from me as if nothing happened and went back to the counter.
Ah, wait! My F-cup girl!!
”I’m glad I came expecting something.”
Ignoring my wry smile, Ayana picked up a bag nearby that contained underwear.
”So, if you really wanted girls’ underwear that much, I’ll give you mine, so be satisfied with that.”
Ayana muttered something in a small voice, but it was drowned out by the melody that played when the convenience store door opened.
Damn it, I feel like I missed something really important!
”It’s, it’s nothing!!”
Ayana quickly finished her accounting and left the convenience store, leaving me behind.
”W-wait a minute, Ayana, did you say something just now?”
”No, I told you it’s not~ya!”
I followed Ayana and left the convenience store. When we returned to the dressing room, I was scolded by Kohina-senpai for being unreasonably slow. It’s incomprehensible!
”Here, you like this kind of thing, right?”
Well, anyway, later on, secretly, she gave me the pants she took off so that Ayana wouldn’t know. That’s the skill of Kohina-senpai, who has a long history in the entertainment industry.
She knows how to use rewards and punishments well. I should learn from her in that aspect too. By the way, the pants I took home were later discovered by Kanon, who for some reason silently gave me another pair of pants.
Sigh! I feel like Kanon found out about my fetish…. Since then, for some reason, Pegonia-san started hanging used underwear on the doorknob of my bedroom every day.
Please bookmark this series and rate ☆☆☆☆☆ on here!
Edited by Kanaa-senpai.
Thanks for reading.