Volume 12 Chapter 67 Yukishiro Emily, Runaway Express
Edited by: Kanaa-senpai
’Yukishiro Emily-san, actually, I came here today with a favor to ask you.’
”Huh? Me?”
Surprised by Annamarie-chan’s visit, I pointed to myself while speaking in Japanese.
Well, I guess she wouldn’t understand Japanese. So I tried to say it again in Stars Language.
”Oh, it’s okay even in Japanese. It’s a bit rough, but I can speak too…”
Oh, really? Annamarie-chan is amazing.
I cleared my throat lightly and put on a serious face.
”Your request for me? Let me tell you first, I don’t have any money!!”
It’s an important thing, so I made it clear that I don’t have money.
Of course, if it’s about something else… like, for example, about mast***ion, you can always ask me, you know?
Annamarie-chan, you’re already at that age. Look, try consulting mast***ion Master, aka Hagetoru the mast***ion-san. Oh, but let me tell you, no talking about s*x. I haven’t experienced that yet, so ask Shumi-san, the naughty girl who’s familiar with that stuff.
”M-money? Ah…! By any chance, you already knew!?”
No, I don’t know anything.
But I wanted to look like a reliable big sister, so I unconsciously nodded my head.
”In that case, it’s okay. Of course I’m paying my own way, and since Onina-san is a scholarship student, she will receive a subsidy from the government.”
Own expense? Scholarship student? Subsidy from the government? What on earth are you talking about?
I imagine it’s something related to students, but what part of me do you have to ask?
Is that it? Is it worth asking about edible grass because it’s enough to get a scholarship? In that case, leave it to weed professor Yukishiro Emily.
”My request to Yukishiro Emily-san is to be the guardian of Onina-san, who is studying abroad in Japan.”
”Guardian…?”
Huh? Is it true that Onina-chan is studying abroad in Japan?
If that happens, she’ll be turned into a toy by bulletin board users. Or rather, it’s already happening.
The other day, I looked at the bulletin board and was wondering if Onina-chan is actually Hagetoru’s estranged sister? There was a thread saying that.
Or rather, is Onina-chan good enough to study abroad as a scholarship student? That’s amazing.
”Onina-san is an orphan, so she needs someone who can be both a guardian and a caretaker to live in Japan.”
”And you’re asking me?”
Annamarie-chan nods.
No, no, no! There are plenty of other, uh… more decent people besides me!
The girl you’re asking for is Yukishiro Emily-san, who has nothing: no money, no food, and no thoughts!
I’m just a complete mess! Even if it’s not someone like Kanon or Nee-san, it would be better to leave Onina-chan with some wild gorilla or a wild Great Kaiju around here.
Actually, scratch that. After thinking calmly, both a Great Kaiju and a gorilla are out of the question. Both of them have money, but they lack the ability to take care of themselves, so Onina-chan would have a rough childhood with them. Besides, I had a feeling that those two would have a negative influence on the child, even more than me.
”W-Why me?”
”I heard that Emily-sama lives in the same apartment as Her Highness Finus and Hermie-dono, and you takes care of them. I also heard that Emily-sama served as a maid for former Queen Mary. This aspect has been recognized by the government and the royal family of Stars, and Emily-sama has been listed as a suitable person for a local guardian and caretaker. So, I remembered this and approached Emily-sama.”
Okay, so that’s how it is.
It feels like things are being evaluated and decided without me knowing, especially with this Holy Aqua Religion thing.
”But, this is just a personal request from me, and it’s sudden, so it’s okay if you refuse.”
Hmm, Onina-chan, it’s natural to feel anxious about studying abroad alone in a faraway place.
If she come to that apartment, Haa-chan and Fee-chan will be there, so I thought she wouldn’t feel lonely.
”If that’s the case, it’s okay if I take it, but…”
”Is it really difficult… huh?”
Huh? I shouldn’t have accepted it?
Annamarie-chan opens her mouth in surprise.
Guhehe, if the young lady opens her mouth so cutely, she would have had an eggplant shoved into her.
”Are you really sure about this?”
”Of course. I’m not the manager, but there’s still a room available in the apartment, and I can even put in a word for you. And if you’re worried about Onina-chan, Annamarie-chan can live together with her, right? That apartment is really old, but it’s a genuine 2LDK, so two people can live there normally.”
That apartment has a reliable big sister, Agewa-oneechan, who can take care of things even when I’m not around.
I was really worried when I left Shiro behind, but before I knew it, Shiro became more attached to Agewa-oneechan than me. Even the cat seems to have a faint sense of who the most decent human is. Grrrr!
”Onina-chan and I are together…”
Oh, she does look entirely interested.
I think Annamarie-chan is an only child, right?
So maybe she’s happy to have a little sister.
I’m also an only child, so I understand that feeling well.
Shumi… I mean, Kanon, when Mary was around, we formed a sisterly bond to protect each other. I know that both she and I are shitty otaku, but at least we look good on the outside.
”Um, I’m really interested in that story.”
”Oh, I see. Then, I’ll make sure to prepare a vacant room for you. By the way, it has its own bathroom and toilet. No deposit or key money required, and the monthly rent is 7210 yen, including maintenance fees.”
”Huh? That’s…”
Actually, you know what?
Even though the land prices are going up, the noise disturbance caused by my moaning voice has caused the rent to decrease to 7210 yen. Hahaha! But, saying it myself, I’m feeling a little sad…
I’m surprised by how cheap the rent is, but what surprised me the most is that Kukuri lives in that apartment.
I thought she would live in a more secure apartment in the city, but no, she just lives there normally. Even though she has dismantled the aristocracy, isn’t she too defenseless? Even I don’t live there all the time; I go back and forth to Grandma Mary’s place. And yet, Kukuri keeps living there. Hmm… With my own intellect, I can’t understand what she’s thinking!
Well, anyway, I don’t really have the position to say anything, and unlike Sumeragi, Yukishiro is just a name, really. Ahahaha… Ah, no. I’m getting sad again.
”So, here’s the deal. I heard that we have a day off from shooting today. Would you like to come with me to the orphanage later?”
”To the orphanage?”
I tilt my head in confusion.
”Yes, there are some procedures with Onina-chan… So, if you’re okay with it…”
”OK, sure.”
I get into the car with Annamarie-chan and head towards the orphanage.
It’s important to keep my body active and release any pent-up desires, otherwise I might end up feeling restless at night and getting into some embarrassing situations. Haa… Even thinking back now, it was nothing but a tragedy.
This morning, while reading The Saint in the lobby, I almost spit out my coffee when I saw a certain headline.
[Uncovering the identity of the madman, Jerk the Stripper, who appeared in the streets of London]
The newspaper had a picture of my underwear hanging on a tree.
I thought Aqua-sama was sleeping nearby, so it was fine to let loose at night, but because I forgot my thong, I ended up being featured in the newspaper as a silly stripper.
I hope Shumi and Nee-san in Japan don’t find out about this!
Oh, it seems like we’ve arrived at our destination. I get out of the car with Annamarie-chan.
’Nice to meet you today.’
’Likewise, nice to meet you.’
Oops, it seems like the children of other nobles have also come to the orphanage.
Yeah, I understand. Even the young ladies want to catch a whiff of Aqua-sama’s scent.
I smile and nod.
’Awawawa!’
’Mikuni-sama?’
’No, I believe it’s her relative, Yukishiro Emily-sama.’
’Oh, Big Sister (Onee-sama)…!’
For now, let’s just smile and pretend like it’s not an international issue. That should be fine.
I follow behind Annamarie-chan and am led to the room where the director of the orphanage is.
’Welcome, Annamarie-sama. I heard it’s about Onina Hackadoll…’
’Yes. I found a guardian and protector for her in Japan, so I brought her here.’
I take a step forward and show a smile for going outside.
’Thank you for your help before. I’m Yukishiro Emily.’
’Oh, I remember. You were with Aqua-sama…’
I exchange light greetings and what seems like a meeting with the director of the orphanage.
The director of the orphanage is a good person and always thinks about Onina-chan the most.
’Well then, let’s meet Onina and confirm her own intentions.’
’Yes, I think that would be good.’
We stand up from the sofa and leave the room, heading towards the large hall where Onina-chan is.
Sniff, sniff… Oh! It smells good. I gaze at the kitchen through the open door.
Freshly baked bread with meat, salad, and soup. Oh, wait…? Is Onina-chan eating better food than me…? Even the room where I caught a glimpse of the orphanage kids earlier was cleaner than my apartment… Oh, huh? Ah, no, my head is starting to ache.
Well… if I think about it normally, Kanon and Victoria-sama are supporting, so it’s only natural. It’s actually great that everyone is living a healthy life. I shed tears of emotion.
’Um, you’re crying, huh?’
’You must be hurting inside, I guess.’
’What a kind-hearted person you are.’
Sorry. These tears aren’t the kind that come from a beautiful heart. But I pretend not to notice and evade the truth.
’Huh?’
’The main hall is noisy, isn’t it? Something happened?’
Maybe it’s a fight over food?
I put on a carefree expression and walk into the main hall.
There, along with the frightened children and the sister, there were many armed sisters.
Oh, huh? Who are you?
’Who are you people!?’
The director of the orphanage steps forward and raises her voice.
In response, a sister who seems to be the leader steps forward.
’We are from the Holy Stars Orthodox Church.’
Holy Stars Orthodox Church? A knockoff of the Stars Orthodox?
Of course, if I said something like that, I might be eliminated, so I keep quiet.
Hagetoru-san never cracks jokes when things are really dangerous.
’For the sake of our noble goals, we will take custody of all of you. We guarantee that we won’t hurt you if you don’t resist.’
’Saying something like that, do you really expect us to believe it!’
Yeah, yeah, I mean, it’s hard to believe in promises made with just words, right?
As far as I know, the only person who actually followed through with their promises was Hakuryuu-sensei, who got their account frozen for Naked dogeza. I want to be a cool adult like her too. She may want to forget about it, but I will never forget!!
’Certainly, what you’re saying has some truth to it. We will never do anything to harm you, but if the Stars government or the royal family refuse our demands, then that guarantee is not absolute.’
Ugh. That’s basically saying that if the government don’t fulfill their demands, they’ll kill each and every one of us.
I knew it, I can’t rely on guarantees. As someone who became a guarantor for others and ended up with my parents being sent away on a fishing boat, I can say without a doubt. Ahaha!
’Wow… There’s quite a catch, huh?’
Hey, hey, are you talking about me!?
Ever since I was young, I’ve felt in danger from big sisters who had their eyes on me.
Unlike Kaede-senpai and Pon-nami, I have sensitive sensors, you know. My crisis detection ability is one step ahead of others.
’Please stop, I beg you.’
Wait, it wasn’t me, it was Annamarie-chan. Not even a tiny bit related to me.
Hmm, it seems like my sensors are completely broken.
’Hey, stop it!’
’You don’t have to tell me, I already know. It’s just a joke, right?’
The leader-type person stopped it right away, so it’s all good. But that joke was no laughing matter, you know.
As someone who always watches the serious faces of the Holy Aqua Religion followers, the bulletin board users, and Kanon in full-on otaku mode, I understand that jokes don’t work in certain situations.
’Listen up! Just stay quiet here, okay!!’
After the broadcast to the entire Stars, we were all gathered in one place and pushed into a room.
…Hmm. Well, as an ordinary person, there’s not much I can do, so I guess I’ll just sleep for now.
The skill I learned from living in poverty is to sleep. While I’m sleeping, I won’t feel hungry, and I won’t use up any energy. Most importantly, it clears my mind.
Sleeping for now isn’t a bad idea. I closed my eyes and fell asleep in seconds.
…
……
………
”Wha..?”
Oh… where am I?
I looked around with a fuzzy mind.
Oh yeah, the terrorists stormed the orphanage and took us all hostage.
I don’t know how many hours have passed since then, but the situation hasn’t changed… Should I take another nap? No, I feel like I need to go to the bathroom. I stood up quickly.
”Hey! Don’t stand up without permission!”
”Bathroom.”
One of the terrorists looked surprised at my words.
’Haah!?’
’I gotta pee, it’s gonna leak.’
’Hold it in!!’
’Well then, let’s do it here.’
I show a serious face, unlike my usual casual self.
Leave it to me. I’ve been doing Star Wars filming until recently, you know.
I’ve been trained by the weird actors around me, so I can easily unleash a killer aura like in a battlefield.
’Ugh… Isn’t it bad to do it here, leader?’
’Can’t be helped. Take her with you!’
Yeah yeah, if you didn’t take me with you, I was seriously considering doing it here, so I’m grateful.
After all, I’m the woman who peed in the historic palace of Stars, in its courtyard. And there was even a senpai at school who tried to pee on a historical artifact. You know I’m not the kind of person who jokes about these things, right?
’Come on, get it over with quickly.’
’Alright.’
Drip drip drip… Hmm. Done!
After finishing peeing, I wash my hands and leave the bathroom.
Thanks to peeing after sleeping, my mind feels clear. By the way, I feel like Onina-chan and Annamarie-chan were not here earlier. I have a bad feeling about it.
’Please stop!’
’Hehe, it’s okay to play around a little.’
*Ding!*
My perverted sensor, also known as the ahoge on top of my head, is reacting.
Someone is doing something naughty while hiding from me, huh?
That is absolutely not allowed!
Hey, let me join in too!
’Hey, wait, you!’
I start running and tackle the door of the kitchen where the sensor reacted.
Is the lewd scene happening here!?
’Hmm? You are…’
Ah… it’s the gun-wielding big sister from earlier.
And also, Annamarie-chan and Onina-chan!?
Why are they here in this place…
I check my surroundings again, and when I see everyone surrounding the two with their lower bodies exposed, I understand everything.
There’s no mistake. These guys are planning to rape the two of them!!
Fortunately, it seems like they haven’t laid a hand on them yet, and I let out a sigh of relief.
’Hey, you!!’
Ugh! There’s that big sister before and she just came up from behind.
’…What are you guys doing here?’
’What else? It’s obviously fun. Let’s have fun together, senpai.’
It seems like they are doing this on their own.
While the senpai dan the juniors were glaring at each other, I ran over to the two girls.
’Are you okay? They didn’t do anything to you, right?’
’Y-yes…!’
’Yeah, okay.’
Annamarie-chan is shaking so much, poor thing. Onina-chan, too… Yeah, Onina-chan was totally normal. This kid is pretty tough.
I hope the decent big sister who’s following me can do something about it.
’Even you must be frustrated, senpai. There are a lot of innocent girls and young girls here, so let’s have fun.’
’I’m not a lolicon like you guys! …But if you’ll lend me that pretty lady over there, I won’t refuse. I’m frustrated too, you know.’
Wait, what! Are you (the big sister earlier) also one of them, a lesbian like them!!
At this rate, our virginity is in danger. Is there anything, anything at all? While keeping my gaze on the other person, I search the kitchen with my hands behind my back.
Wha… what is this!?
”Heh, hehehehe”
Hearing my laughter, the terrorists become slightly wary.
’Has she gone mad?’
’Don’t worry, it will be over while counting the stains on the ceiling.’
The terrorists, with their disheveled lower bodies exposed, approach us.
’Emily-sama…’
’I-Is this the plot of an adult manga!?’
The touch, shape, and hardness… there’s no mistake.
It’s my partner, whom I have held tightly and spent lonely nights with.
’Now, behave you—— aaaaahhhhhh!’
The woman who grabbed my shoulder convulses as if struck by lightning from the top of her head, and falls to the ground, spraying a large amount of fluid.
’What!? What happened!? Ah——’
With a seductive voice, another woman falls to the ground, spraying water from her legs.
I approach them, juggling the eggplant in my hand.
’Count your sins (Mas***ing history), as my number exceeds ten thousand.’
I say, with love for mast***ion, loved by mast***ion, and still continuing on this endless path of mast***ion exploration. I am Hagetoru the mast***ion.
Now, I charge into a group of terrorists who exposes their lower body… no, Chijous, using my own creation, the Eggplant Supreme God Fist, to send each one into the world of pleasure, ascending to ecstasy.
’Ah!’
’Mm!’
’I’m coming!’
’It’s a real climax!’
As the exposed perverts lie on their backs on the ground, I look at them with disdain.
These people… they are truly pathetic. It’s because they neglect their training with the eggplant.
Japanese ladies train their v**inas with eggplants every day.
’Sorry, but I never lose in the kitchen, you know!’
I decided to take a bite of the salted eggplant I had in my hand.
Wow, it’s delicious! The seasoning is just right. As expected, lightly pickled or sake lees pickled eggplant is the best.
’Emily-oneesama, you’re so cool…!’
Onina-chan stared at me with sparkling eyes.
’What are you guys doing!?’
Oh no… while I was enjoying myself, I was surrounded by an armed sister brigade.
This is bad. It seems like it’s over… When I was about to give up on everything, it happened.
’Ah!’
’What’s wrong? What happened!?’
’Ugyaaaah!’
’I said, what’s going on!?’
What’s going on, what’s going on!?
I looked at Annamarie-chan and Onina-chan who were next to me, exchanging glances.
’T-This is…!’
’G-G-Gorilla!’
’Huh!?’
As soon as I heard gorilla, it clicked for me.
My condolences to all the Stars fans. I put my hands together and pray to heaven.
’No, that’s not a gorilla!’
’I recognize that gorilla!’
’Oh, that’s…Japan’s deadly weapon, wild gorilla, national broadcaster’s physical monster, and one of Mary’s Four Heavenly Kings, Morikawa Kaede!’
Ah, Namunamu. I mean, I’m sure all of these guys are secretly looking at Japanese bulletin boards.
As soon as most of them saw Kaede-paisen, they raised their hands and knelt down. Yeah, I think that’s the correct way to react when you encounter a wild gorilla. I wonder if they studied it by watching Inko-san’s otome game streaming.
’Emily! I came to help you!! Oh, what?! I haven’t done anything and they’ve already surrendered!?’
Ah, yeah. It was funny because the first one was blown away by Kaede-paisen’s tackle. I guess she lost his fighting spirit after seeing that.
When Kaede-paisen goes to help the American football club, I remember the time when she destroyed the machine in practice with one tackle. The incident was so dangerous that she retired in the first minute of the game, and it was later referred to as the Mary Big Tackle Incident.
”Hey Kaede-senpai, what are you doing here?”
”I obviously came to save you from this pinch!”
Wow, I thought I had such an amazing senpai, but the way her eyes were wandering, it must be something else.
”I’m here too!!”
Oh, here comes Prime Minister Habu, carrying a rocket launcher.
Phew… I let out a sigh of relief and pat the Prime Minister on the shoulder.
”Prime Minister, it’s already over.”
”Huh?”
The Prime Minister slumps her shoulders. I wonder if she even understand that she is the Prime Minister and why she came all the way here. Well, technically she is the leader of a country, but still…
’Emily-san’
’Emily-oneechan, huff, huff’
’Both of you…’
Oh, looks like one of Chijou revived. I quickly stand up and try to grab Annamarie-chan from behind.
Ugh! I’m not going to make it. Just as I thought that, I lock eyes with Onina-chan.
Before I knew it, I was throwing the eggplant I had in my hand towards Onina-chan.
’What!?!’
The battle was intense, as Onina-chan’s eggplant landed a critical hit on Chijo’s G-spot.
’Yes, Lolita! No, touch!!’
It was perfect. I see, it has come. The rightful heir to my invented Eggplant Supreme God Fist!!
’Emily-onee-sama…!’
’Onina-chan…!’
We embraced each other in praise.
She definitely has talent, burying her head in my cleavage at just the right moment.
”Nanikore?”
”W-Well…?”
And so, the Holy Stars Orthodox Church was disbanded just one day after its establishment.
And after returning from the Stars, I had no idea that I would gather another group of mysterious followers because of the foolish things the believers said about the Saint being imp***ated, after seeing me with Onina-chan.
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Edited by Kanaa-senpai.
Thanks for reading.