Volume 13 Chapter 7 Kohina Yukari, Substitute For The Idiot Who Got Suspended And The Fool Who Got Suspended From Work
Edited by: Kanaa-senpai
As soon as the red on-air lamp lit up, I glared at the camera in front of me.
”What? Is this already starting?”
I looked at the assistant director squatting in front of me.
The staff here always have faces similar to the MC and seem so absent-minded.
If it’s starting, just say that it’s starting!
If I hadn’t noticed, it could have been a broadcasting accident!
I squinted my eyes and read the cue card that the assistant director wrote.
”Um, hello everyone watching TV. Today’s show ‘Morikawa Kaede’s Room’ will be hosted by me, Kohina Yukari, as a substitute for MC Morikawa Kaede, who is suspended, and guest Shirogane Aqua-san, who is on suspended too. Yes, applause!”
Honestly, what are those idiotic duo doing!!
Because of their stupid play with udon on Stars, my precious day off was ruined!
Even our president thought, “Yukari-san has free time, so she can do it!” No way!! Even I have busy times! It’s true that I have free time now, but still!!
”What! Huh? It’s all coming out? Fine, whatever!”
I glare at the producer.
”You. Yeah, you over there! Change this sign to Kohina Yukari’s room starting tomorrow. Enough is enough. Since I’m free, I’ll keep appearing on this show!”
Well, that’s a little… not right, don’t you think?
Huh? Introduce the guest quickly because they’re here?
Ugh, I guess I have no choice.
”Um, well, today’s guest is this person. Here you go!”
Come to think of it, who is filling in for that person? I haven’t been told anything.
I turn my gaze towards backstage, and the door slowly opens.
”Um, h-hello.”
”Oh, it’s Lapis-chan.”
The audience, who had been eagerly waiting for Lapis-chan, gasps at her appearance.
It’s really unfortunate for these people. They came here thinking they would meet Aqua, but they can’t.
”Pardon me.”
Lapis-chan sits on the very end of the long sofa.
Oh, how cute. Even the audience thinks she’s cute.
”Come on, don’t just sit there on the edge, come over here.”
Yes, yes, you need to come closer or you won’t fit in the camera.
”I wouldn’t do anything like stealing food, come on.”
Hey! Who just said “that’s a lie”!
It sounded like a voice I’ve heard somewhere!!
”Hey! Aren’t you coming here normally! Come here”
I point over there towards the camera person.
”No, no, Kohina-senpai, I can’t do that! I’m supposed to be resting at home!”
”What!? I’m not going to consider your convenience at all!!”
The audience notices Aqua blending in with the staff and starts making a fuss with high-pitched voices.
”So why are you here?”
”Since I won the audience seat, I thought I should at least shake hands with the fans who couldn’t meet me after the recording… and also as a producer, I was worried about Lapis.”
Hmm, I see.
I saw some fans of Aqua’s answer crying tears of joy.
I see, so this is how more and more fanatics are being created…
In normal life, there’s hardly a guy who’s this kind to them. And not just any guy, but the greatest guy in the world who cares so much for his fans. No wonder they become even bigger fans.
But you know, you’re being deceived. I raise my voice to his fans.
”Don’t be fooled, everyone! If he hadn’t been suspended, you could all have met him normally. This is obviously a scam, it’s all set up!!”
”Hey, Kohina-senpai!?”
When I confidently told the truth, the fans responded with loud “ehh” voices.
”I can’t believe this, really! You guys are too easily fooled!! This is his modus operandi!! So even during Stars… huh? Stop? Assistant Director, no… wait, aren’t you Morikawa!! I thought that I’ve seen this girl with a weird face somewhere before, and it turns out she’s not even an acquaintance!!”
Huh? I’m supposed to keep quiet because you’re suspended?
Who cares about your convenience!
”If you really cared about the kids in the audience, you should have made sure you didn’t get suspended from school or work in the first place! And yet, Morikawa-san is acting all nice? Huh!? Cut it out already!”
Huff, huff. I was sleeping until just now, so I got tired when I raised my voice. Oh, I’m hungry. Oh yeah, I haven’t eaten yet.
”Hey, you there, just hanging around. Go buy me a yakisoba bun. Here, you can take my wallet.”
Aqua looked at me with a serious face, but I tilted my chin and instructed the president to give them my wallet.
Alright, now the pests are gone.
I turn my gaze back to Lapis-chan.
”Huh? Am I really going to get eaten by the Great Kaiju Yukari-gon?”
”I won’t eat you!”
We’re making everyone in the audience laugh with our talk.
Good job, Lapis-chan. You’re following the conversation flow nicely.
I was worried about what would happen if you were just zoning out, but you understand because you’re his little sister.
”Lapis-chan, why don’t you stand up for a moment?”
”Oh, um, okay…”
”Yeah, now twirl around.”
Oh my, isn’t she cute?
That slightly mature monochrome dress looks nice on her.
From the audience, a woman’s voice melts with admiration, and the word “cute” flies over.
”How’s it going, getting used to the entertainment world?”
”Um…I still feel like I’m dreaming, so I’m kind of floating along.”
Ahhhh. When I see Lapis-chan’s smile, my face just turns all soft too. I understand why that guy acts stupid.
If Aqua had responded with a comment like this, I might have scolded, but because it’s Lapis-chan, I forgive it.
That’s just how the entertainment world is, if the comment suits the character, then it’s okay. Well, if she was acting all limp on the drama set, I would be mad too.
”Producer, how about it? Is it okay if you are replaced? Should I do it instead?”
Hey, why are you reacting so loudly, like “Nooooo!” when the audience seats are changed!
You may not think so, but I believe I have the ability to produce properly too, you know!?
”Anyway, did that guy do anything weird? Like s*xual harassment?”
”S*xual harassment!? Well, I don’t think there was anything in particular, but when Nii-sama nodded while saying something like ‘You’re growing up,’ while looking at my chests, it felt a little creepy.”
That guy is definitely an idiot!
”And also, while he acts all innocent towards me, Kukuri-sama, Subaru-chan, Fii-chan, and Haa-chan’s chests, he always stares intently at Miyako-chan’s chest.”
”Don’t worry, I’ll talk to Kanon-san later when it’s just the two of us.”
Voices come flying from the audience seats, saying “Please forgive him, he’s pitiful.”
You guys shouldn’t pamper him like that!
Understand that the consequence is his suspension!
”Anything else? Is there something else?”
”Anything else…? Um…”
Lapis-chan glanced at the cards placed on the table.
”Um, do I have to do this?”
”Well, since the staff of this show only comes up with silly ideas, it doesn’t really matter. Hey, everyone, don’t you want to hear more about that guy or Beryl?”
As I said this to the audience, there was a loud applause and cheers in response.
Seriously, his fans are just as confident and enthusiastic as he is!
”For example, what is he like in his daily life? Has he done anything as bad as getting expelled, like Makishima?”
”Well… When Nii-sama was at home, he used to play little pranks on me, like hiding and surprising me from behind.”
I could hear screams, like monsters, from the audience.
You guys seem so happy. It’s kind of making me jealous of your carefree attitude.
”Kohina-senpai, don’t you ever get back from Nii-sama?”
”Well, his payback is so cute. Like suddenly turning my lunch into a Japanese flag bento with simmered dishes. But I love white rice and simmered dishes, so it’s totally fine with me.”
His simmered dishes taste like something a grandma from the countryside would make, and I really like that.
Maybe he intentionally put in a salty and sour pickled plum (umeboshi), but I prefer unhealthy pickled plums like honey pickled plums or the trendy 10% salt ones, rather than the ones that are good for your body.
”Nii-sama’s homemade food is always delicious, isn’t it? I used to dislike celery, but the celery tempura he made was so good.”
”Oh, really? I used to hate green peas, but I can eat the bean rice he makes.”
Huh? I hear a rumbling sound of stomach. Who is it?
When I looked in the direction of the sound, I saw Morikawa-san drooling.
Producer, are you listening? Shouldn’t this guy be suspended for another week?
”By the way, he’s taking forever to get those yakisoba bread rolls. Where on earth is he?”
Oh, look who’s back, it’s Aqua.
Hey, hurry up and hand over those yakisoba bread rolls on that plate.
”The yakisoba bread rolls are sold out.”
”What!?”
Well then, what’s that thing you’re holding in your hand!!
”So, I made some. The bread and the yakisoba noodles are store-bought, though…”
No way…
I get up from the sofa and discreetly take the plate with two yakisoba bread rolls, making sure it’s not caught on camera.
”Wow, it looks delicious.”
Yeah, I totally agree on that point.
I tear the bread in half and give one half to Morikawa-san, who’s eagerly waiting to eat.
”Itadakimasu!”
Huh? As I try to eat the yakisoba bread, everyone’s attention shifts to the bread.
I playfully move the bread left and right, making everyone look silly as if I’m feeding the carp. It’s so amusing; should I keep doing this for a while?
”Want some?”
When I asked that, everyone nodded in agreement.
”But I won’t give it to you!”
As I took a bite of the bread, I heard screams from the audience.
Mmm, it’s delicious! Sorry, everyone, but I’m hungry too, you know.
”Here, take it, please. It’s not enough for everyone, just a little… But please take a bite and pass it on to the next person.”
Lapis-chan handed her yakisoba bread to someone in the audience.
Such a good kid. But if you do that, not everyone will get some, you know?
Anyway, I’ll just eat it all by myself.
”I’ll make more yakisoba bread now!! With Kohina-senpai’s money!”
”Wait a minute!!”
That guy is taking it too far with his jokes.
Well, it’s fine, but it’s unheard of for performers and audience members to make and eat yakisoba bread during a live broadcast.
I noticed the show’s producer was foaming at the mouth, but I’ll pretend I didn’t see it and move on.
”Well then, how’s Beryl doing? Is Akocchi harassing you or anything? Telling you to work without sleep?”
”No, no! Hey, Kohina-senpai, aren’t you trying to crush Beryl by s*xually harassing or bullying them?”
Ah, busted by him, huh…
”Well, everyone is being really nice to me, and thanks to that, we’re all having fun.”
”Oh, really? What about the other members of BERYL?”
Cheers erupted from the audience.
Hey, hey, I bet you all in the audience want to hear that kind of story too, right?
”Ah, Tenga-senpai is really kind. He always give me black candies to lick.”
”Yeah, I know what you mean. I’ve received them before too.”
Come to think of it, Tenga-kun gave me a candy to lick before.
Maybe he mistook me for a child because I’m short, but he looked so awkward at that time.
You know, I actually really like those kind of sweets, so it’s no big deal.
”And Toa-chan… I mean, Toa-chan-senpai, you know, we usually talk and stuff.
”I’ve seen Toa-chan chatting with the girls a lot.”
I wonder why he doesn’t chat with me like that. Maybe he doesn’t think of me as one of the girls?
Maybe I should casually let Toa-chan know that I’m a girl too and we should chat like girls.
”Mayuzumi-senpai always apologizes, saying Nii-sama is always taking care of him, and then the other person apologizes, and it turns into a kind of apology battle or something.”
”In those situations, just blame it on Aqua, that’s what you should say together.”
Honestly, I feel like Mayuzumi-kun is the one who spoils Aqua more than Kanon-san, Akocchi, his mom, or the fans.
He’s always like, “It’s okay, it’s okay,” and I feel like he’s getting carried away because of that.
I have a feeling that Aqua is doing something really stupid behind my back while he’s suspended.
Oh, by the way, the other day, I asked him and Emily-chan to hang out on the same day, and he said he had something to do. I feel like Emily-chan might know something. I should ask her later…
”How are you getting along with Kanon-san?”
”Kanon’s sister-in-law is always so kind. She even said I could come over and play every day…”
Huh? When I asked if I could go bother Aqua every day, he seriously asked me to stop!! What’s the difference!? It’s so frustrating… I don’t understand…!
”Hmm?”
I smell something good.
Oh… Did Aqua return and bring yakisoba bread?
”Huh? Should we take a break here and have a commercial? Well, I guess it can’t be helped. While we’re at it, I’ll have another yakisoba bread.”
As soon as the commercial started, I rushed over to Aqua to steal his yakisoba bread.
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Edited by Kanaa-senpai.
Thanks for reading.