Volume 13 Chapter 8 Kohina Yukari, Will You Be My Little Sister?
Edited by: Kanaa-senpai
”Hey, why don’t you just come out normally?”
”No, no, showing up on TV is a bad idea. Right now, they’re pushing the idea that someone with a voice just like mine happened to be there by chance.”
Is this guy an idiot?
The fact that this excuse works is the downside of TV.
I might just spend the whole day talking bad about Japanese TV from now on.
”Yukari-sann, you’re thinking weird stuff. Stop it. Seriously, stop it.”
”Yeah, yeah, I get it, I get it.”
I respond to the president of Beyond Productions, who appeared like a ghost from behind.
By the way, why are you so tired?
You had a bad feeling, so you dashed to the convenience store below to buy yakisoba bread before I even said anything? I see, that’s why.
You’re starting to become more considerate.
When you scouted me, you said, “I’ll do anything, so please join us.” I’ve still got that recorded, so don’t forget.
”Okay, the commercial is almost over!”
”Alright!”
When we arrived at our designated spots, the broadcast resumed.
”Since we’re here, why don’t we give this a whirl?”
”Ehh~?”
When I made a disgusted face at Lapis-chan’s suggestion, the audience chuckled from the stands.
I mean, it definitely only has stupid stuff written on it.
”Look, Lapis-chan, look over there. See that guy who got suspended and the other who got suspended too? They’re grinning. Probably because they wrote something lousy.”
”Huh? Did Nii-sama write it? In that case, I’ll give it a try. Here goes!”
Oh! Lapis-chan picked up a card with a topic on it from the table.
”It’s about investigating recent local topics among people on the street.”
”Hmm, sounds interesting!”
Huh? Is there a video?
Lapis-chan and I stared at the monitor.
Then, a screen showed a group of girls, about high school age.
’Excuse me! I’m from TV Japan. I’m asking people about the recent interesting things happening in their lives. Can I ask you something?’
’Huh? Recent happenings…? What could it be? Maybe the entrance ceremony?’
’Oh, speaking of the entrance ceremony, isn’t that thing?’
’Yeah, yeah, that thing!’
’What’s “that thing”?’
The group of high school girls exchanged glances and laughed.
These girls have only been in school for a few days, right?
Huh? So Even, are they shopping with their friends?
No way! When I was their age, there were no such events at all!!
Anyway, let’s just have some water and calm down…
’I worked hard to study and get into school, but the person I like got suspended from the first day, so I couldn’t see him.’
I almost spit out the water I was drinking from the bottle.
’Wait, could it be that you guys go to…?’
””Otomezaki!!””
’We’ve been studying for like, the whole year, right?’
’Yeah! I couldn’t wait to see him since spring break.’
’Yeah, yeah. After the exams, I didn’t need a spring break, I just wanted to see him, but when I went to school, he wasn’t there. Instead of wondering why he got suspended, I was like, ‘Oh, I see,’ and understood it the other way around.’
’Big sis, can you believe he got suspended from the first day? Also, what’s the ‘Republic of Great Udon’?’
’Oh, well. Yeah. That person is just like that. Also, I don’t really understand the Great Udon Republic either, so if anyone knows, I’d really like for you to tell me.’
Lapis-chan couldn’t help but laugh awkwardly at this.
Hey, why doesn’t that guy just dogeza with the Prime Minister? I mean, the Prime Minister will probably apologize for something again tomorrow anyway.
Sigh… Well, I guess there’s no other choice but for me and Akocchi to dogeza too. And while we’re at it, let’s make Morikawa, who has been suspended from her job, and maybe even Emily-chan do it too. Maybe everyone will laugh and forgive us.
Well, joking aside, as an adult, I should say a few words. I promised Yukishiro Mikuni and Marin-san that I would take care of him in the entertainment industry. I’m like his guardian.
I signaled the staff to stop the Video for a moment and slowly stood up from the sofa.
”Um, I’m really sorry that my useless Aqua caused trouble for many people because of his suspension. As a person, I don’t think what he did was wrong, and I want to praise him for not causing any deaths or serious injuries. But because of his suspension, many people were inconvenienced, like not being able to meet him after working hard to get into school, or like the replacement for this time having to change schedules. I’m really sorry!”
”I’m really sorry!”
When I bowed to the TV, Aqua’s apologetic voice came from outside the camera’s range.
Next to me, Lapis-chan stood up and bowed to the camera.
Wow, you did great, little sister. And your bowing posture is super cute!! How about it? Why don’t you stop being that person’s siter and become my sister instead? I’ll put you on my lap and take good care of you.
Also, can the staff stop dawdling and quickly play the Video that should be stopped already?
When the it resumed, it showed a really suspicious-looking person.
’Sorry. Is this… Morikawa Kaede’s room. May I have a moment?’
Huh? She’s all bundled up and definitely look like a suspicious person, but her appearance seems familiar somehow.
’Oh, hello. Our Yukari-chan always relies on your help.’
’Huh?’
Huh? My thoughts are overlapping with the staff’s silly voices.
’Oh, there’s this company called Beyond Production, and I’m the president there. Hehehe.’
What are you doing, President? Huh? Why are you dressed like a suspicious person?
’President, what are you doing here?’
’Well, actually, I came to buy the limited edition Aqua-kun hair clip designed by Nene-cho, which will be released exclusively at Beryl Shop today.’
’Is that for your personal use, President?’
’No, it’s because Yukari-chan wants it, and she told me to go buy it… She said it would be embarrassing if she went herself and got exposed on the internet.’
Hey!!
Why are you saying such things in front of the TV camera?
Because of that, everyone in the country knows about everything I ordered!!
Huh? You’ve been in the TV industry for years and you still don’t know that? Or is it on purpose!?
Ughhhhh! I stare at the monitor with an expression of emptiness.
Right now, I don’t want to make eye contact with anyone. Especially not with Useless Aqua!!
[The staff found a certain person!!]
The staff approaches the girl who is lined up.
’Excuse me. This is Morikawa Kaede’s room. You’re Shirogane Kanon, right?’
’Oh…thanks.’
Laughter erupts from the audience. I get it. If I thought about it, I knew she would be here. She never fails to meet expectations or something like that…
Kanon-san is really mysterious. It wouldn’t be strange if she became the target of jealousy as the main wife, but there’s no sign of that at all.
’Is that a limited edition hair clip?’
’Yes.’
’Well, I’m actually going around asking about recent events. Anything happened recently?’
Ugh! The way they’re interacting is so careless. This staff is underestimating the other person just because it’s Kanon-san!
I think Kanon-san should get angrier.
’Um, well… Aqua get suspended or something, right?’
’That’s something everyone in the country knows. So, other than that?’
’Hmm… the other day, by chance, two of us bought the same cake, maybe?’
’That’s totally fine for the topic!’
The people sitting around Kanon-san, as well as those shown on the screen, nodded in agreement.
It’s a good thing Kanon-san was spaced out, but the kids around should have at least pretended to listen.
’Then, can I ask for more details?’
’Well, I was worried that Aqua might be feeling down because of the suspension, so I bought Aqua’s favorite cake. And then, Aqua also bought a cake to apologize for not being able to go anywhere during spring break. It turns out both of us bought the same fruit shortcake from the same bakery… that’s all there is to it…’
’That’s totally fine! It’s so cool that you bought the same one, and it’s super cool that you both like the same cake!’
Is it over already? Let’s go to the next one.
You guys really like this kind of story, huh?
[The staff going to talk to that person]
Huh? I saw a Ramen shop on the screen that looks really familiar.
’Hey! Welcome! Just one person? Please take a seat at the counter!’
Oh, it’s Emily-chan. So, this must be Ramen Takeko after all.
’Oh, excuse me. This is Kaede Morikawa’s room.’
’Huh? Hogekawa?’
’Morikawa!’
’Huh? Gorikawa?’
’It doesn’t matter anymore. By the way, don’t you do this joke every time? Sorry about that. You’re Yukishiro Emily, right?’
’Yes, that’s me. I’m Yukishiro Emily, the part-time leader and assistant manager of Ramen Takeko. Alright, let’s have some Yukishio Ramen. Table number 3, nice to meet you! Oh, and please also bring Shirogane Tonkotsu and Heaven’s La Main TENGA Special!’
It looks yummy… I really wish they’d stop showing Ramen in the middle of the night.
The classic Heaven’s Sword is great, and the Snow Salt Ramen (Yukishio Ramen) has a light taste but a nice depth, while the Shirogane Tonkotsu looks light but has a strong smell and flavor – they’re all popular at Ramen Takako.
’Order up! For table 5, 2 Otome Tsuke-nami Ramen, 1 Large Nee-san-men, and 1 Japanese-style Hogera-men.’
’Okay! The Tsuke-nami will be ready right away. Welcome! There are seats available in the back! Right now during lunchtime, you can add a half-char or Gyoza set for +$1, and you can have unlimited white rice and bean sprouts , it’s self-service!’
Hey! It looks really busy in here!!
The staff should use their heads a bit and visit the shop during slow times!! They really don’t seem to get it like I do!! See, this is why I’m tough on the staff here, the viewers can understand, right!?
Instead, they should be grateful to me for scolding the employees who are not doing well!
’Oh no, the super spicy fire-breathing Ramen from Great Kaiju Yukari-gon is sold out right now. Sorry about that. Oh, but you can still get Toa-chan’s mini Ramen set for lunchtime. Oh, sorry. The super angry Mayushin’s huge portion fried chicken special and Koguma-senpai’s salmon Onigiri are only available at night because they’re so popular. I’m really sorry!!’
I really don’t like spicy food, so why is it super spicy Ramen? It’s my Ramen, but I can’t eat it!
Also, maybe they only serve fried chicken at night because Mayuzumi-kun’s drama became popular. I’ll go at night next time.
[Because it was crowded, the staff decided to adjust the timing]
Yeah, that makes sense…
But why are the staff just sitting at the table eating Ramen like it’s no big deal!!
We don’t need to see that footage!!
’Yeah, it’s the Kotanuki-senpai Soba that might become a secret menu.’
Why is there soba at a ramen shop?
’How is it?’
’Hmm… It’s tasty, but eating soba in the midst of the delicious smell of ramen is a bit, well, kind of awkward.’
’Oh no, I didn’t think that far… Well, Auntie, it seems that soba at a ramen shop is not a good idea after all.’
Of course, that’s obvious. You should have realized it earlier.
’So, what’s been happening lately?’
’I got suspended from school.’
’Huh?’
’Apparently, when I swung the fire extinguisher, it looked like I was hitting someone, and I ended up getting suspended along with Prime Minister Habu.’
Trying to cover up a really silly story with a straight face, it reminds me of someone.
What? Is that Yukishiro’s way of doing things?
’What else?’
’Something interesting? Well, at Mary University, there’s a flag of udon being hung or making the school anthem about udon…’
Oh, speaking of which, Mary is a university related to the Stars, right? It was created by the previous Mary-sama.
It’s become so interesting. Ah, I’m glad I go to St. Claris. It would be hell if my alma mater was like that. I would erase it from my resume.
’Well, um…sorry about that.’
’N-No, I’m the one who should apologize…’
What’s with this awkward atmosphere!!
[This concludes the story about recent events in town that we asked about.]
Hey!! At least make the ending more proper!!
And most of the people who showed up aren’t even close friends!!
”I see. Did something happen to Lapis-chan?”
”Oh, now that you mention it, I went to a drama recording not too long ago.”
Yeah, yeah, you totally get it, right?
You’re way better at reading the room than the staff here.
”Is this your first time appearing in a drama?”
”Ahh… actually, it’s not like that, it’s a bit different…”
Oh, I see, it must be a drama with Mayuzumi-kun. Can’t say the name because it’s on a different network, right?
By the way, I remember Aqua saying his stomach was hurting before.
”Isn’t that the one where you and your brother act together for the first time?”
”Yes…”
The audience notices that Lapis-chan will be in a drama and gets really excited.
Hey, shouldn’t we promote the drama here instead? But, Japanese TV dramas are all crappy anyway, right?
Huh? We have to do it properly? Ugh, fine.
Just when I’m about to steer the conversation in a different direction, Lapis-chan, who knows how to read the room, jumps in with some promotion.
I don’t really like doing this kind of stuff, though. Aqua and I could make it fun, but making actors/actress do promotions is just not right, you know.
”Okay, I’ll draw the next topic now.”
”Sure.”
Lapis-chan draws the next card and read it out.
”About actress Kohina Yukari being banned from appearing on TV Japan’s drama… huh? Is it okay to talk about this?”
The staff is really playing around too much.
”It’s okay, it’s true.”
I was so excited because a manga I really liked was going to be made into a drama, so I happily accepted the offer. But then, the scriptwriter messed it up with a terrible revised script that felt like they were just about fan service. So, I got really mad and ignored that script to act just like the manga.
Since then, I’ve been banned from appearing on TV Japan’s drama.
But I don’t regret it. I don’t want to be in a work as an actress that I don’t want to portray.
Actually, it’s the ones who bring out scripts that don’t satisfy me who are at fault.
”Kohina-senpai…”
Huh? Did I say that out loud?
I made eye contact with Aqua, who had a subtle expression.
Hehe! I messed up!
”Well, what would you do then?”
”If I’m not interested in the script they give me in the first place, I won’t take the role.”
”That’s the right answer.”
Are you maybe a genius or something?
I’ve become a big shot too, so I’ll do the same from now on.
”If Lapis-chan wants to do acting jobs, she should become an actress like me or this person, who can choose the jobs they want. It’s the actors/actress who play in those lame flops that bring down our reputation, not the staff.”
”Y-Yes.”
And if it’s a failure, then it’s the fault of the original author for writing a boring story, right?
So it’s the right choice not to work on a set with a low-quality drama staff. Those people probably see actors/actress and original works as nothing more than disposable tissues anyway.
”Ah, it looks like it’s about time.”
”Wow, is it already that late? Then should we draw this last card?”
”Yes!”
Lapis-chan draws the final card.
”Um… about the news that TV Japan is going away!?”
”Oh, this crappy TV is finally going out of business. Good riddance. It would be great if Beryl buys it and renames it Beryl TV starting tomorrow.”
In that case, let’s officially change this show to Kohina Yukari’s Room.
While I was thinking about that, I made eye contact with Morikawa-san, who looked sad.
Oh, don’t worry, it was just a joke. I won’t take over your show, so you can relax.
”Um, starting tomorrow, TV Japan will be renamed Udon TV and the headquarters and subsidiaries will be relocated to prefectures in Japan known for their famous udon noodles, like Kagawa with its Sanuki udon and Gunma with its Mizusawa udon!?”
They must be really dumb, huh?
Well, it’s not a big deal.
Morikawa-san has to leave Tokyo when recording, so it seems like a hassle.
”In addition, this Tokyo headquarters building will be demolished in the future due to aging, and there will be a grand demolition show with explosions, so please come and see it. They said.”
”Oh, really? Can I eat udon from all over the country?”
If that’s the case, it’s okay to go and see it.
”Well then, Lapis-chan, if you have any last-minute announcements, please go ahead.”
”Um, the first branch of Beryl Cafe will officially open this weekend. Almost all of the Beryl talent will be there, so please come!!”
Lapis-chan faces the camera and shows a board with the dates and times of each appearance.
”Okay. Good job!!”
””Good job!!””
I say hello to the staff, then step back for a moment.
When I talk a lot, I start feeling hungry again.
Maybe later, I’ll bring Lapis-chan along and the three of us can go out for a meal together.
”Oh, but before that…”
Aqua and Morikawa-san are giving fanservice to the customers who came today, so I think I’ll join them and do some fanservice too.
When the three of us are together, we might end up talking for about an hour, but oh well, it’s okay.
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Edited by Kanaa-senpai.
Thanks for reading.