Volume 1 Chapter 9 Miyuki Heliodor Yui, Overcoming Trauma
Edited by: Kanaa-senpai
My name is Miyuki Heliodor Yui. I am currently working as an agent in the National Confidentiality Bureau Health and Safety Division in charge of Shirogane Aqua. And recently, my life, which I thought was unfortunate, has undergone a tremendous change since meeting Aqua-sama.
”I wish I never gave birth to someone like you!!”
The woman who is my blood-related mother said this as she forcefully slapped my cheek. My cheek stung, and although I felt the pain, my facial muscles didn’t flinch. Upon seeing my expression, my mother muttered that I still looked repulsive and left somewhere. I believe that was the last contact I had with my mother, to the best of my knowledge.
After my mother gave birth to me, she gradually went crazy.
My mother, born into an upper-class family known as the aristocracy, was beautiful and talented. However, shortly after my birth, my grandmother suffered a business failure. Although our social status wasn’t revoked, the fortunes of my family took a sharp turn for the worse. Due to these circumstances, my mother was never chosen by a man before reaching the age of marriage. While it became possible for women to intermarry due to the decline in male births, mating with a man still held a certain status in the upper class. With my proud grandmother and mother, their choice was artificial insemination using cryopreserved sperm. The use of cryopreserved sperm for pregnancy was not uncommon, and it was a right given to any woman. However, high-quality sperm was scarce and not easily obtainable. Therefore, my mother, also considering her age, resorted to illegal providers in her desperation.
That was the beginning of all the failures.
The provided sperm was supposed to be from a talented Japanese man. However, it turned out to be a falsification by the provider. In reality, half of my genetic makeup came from an unknown foreign man. In a time when interracial relationships and sperm trading between countries are prevalent, it is not uncommon for some mixed blood to be present. However, my grandmother, who held traditional views on ethnicity, did not approve of it. She looked down upon me and my mother with disdainful eyes, and as my mother’s mental state deteriorated, she gradually became mentally ill.
”Why can’t you do anything right?”
”If you don’t behave properly, I’ll scold you again!”
”Wrong again! How many times do I have to tell you for you to understand?!”
These words that my mother had said gradually stripped away my ability to express emotions. I was not allowed to cry or laugh because my cheeks were slapped whether I was angry or sad. The only thing permitted was to remain expressionless and answer, “Yes, Mother,” like a machine. To avoid being scolded, I had to excel in everything. Fortunately, I was reasonably talented, and as I focused on my studies, the occasions for my mother’s anger decreased. Finally, I was able to spend peaceful days. However, what awaited me were the physical changes due to puberty.
Looking back now, I was probably an early bloomer. As puberty set in, my body began to change, with the emergence of breasts and a curvier figure. My waist took on a more feminine shape, and my previously youthful face matured. Around this time, I was granted admission to a co-ed middle school due to my outstanding academic performance. Little did I know that this decision would have a lasting impact on my life.
”Hey, big girl. Your breasts are so damn disgusting, don’t ever come into my sight again.”
That was what the only boy in the middle school said to me, a senior student. The disdainful face he showed me at that moment is still unforgettable. It was the same contemptuous look my grandmother gave me, and the overlapping memories etched in my mind weighed heavily on my heart. Being physically more developed than others, by the time I entered middle school, I was already taller than the boys and my breast size exceeded a C cup. As my body continued to grow, my s*xual desires increased proportionally. However, the trauma from my first encounter with a boy twisted my strong s*xual urges, distorting even my s*xual preferences.
[I want to be desired by men.]
But no one ever needed me. Still, I want to be strongly loved by a man. A distorted desire for approval, to be wanted so intensely that I am violated, warped my s*xual preferences. Perhaps due to the trauma from my mother, grandmother, and the senior male student, I developed a strong aversion towards older individuals and began harboring a strong longing for younger boys. How happy would it be if a younger boy desired me as a woman? I could fulfill all of their desires and be their slave if necessary…
However, the initial encounter with a man became traumatic, causing me to naturally avoid men. From high school to college and even as a working adult, my desires remained unfulfilled and gradually intensified.
”Miyuki-san, congratulations. Your assigned male partner has been decided.”
Desiring to overcome my trauma and engage with men, I made the brave choice to pursue a profession that involved working closely with them. Despite the high competition, my excellent grades allowed me to easily secure the position.
”Shirogane Aqua…-sama.”
As I glanced at the data handed to me by my boss, the figure of a young boy who had likely only recently come of age was displayed. My body naturally heated up in response to a younger man who aligned with my own s*xual preferences. I was well aware that female officials were often assigned younger male partners, so this outcome was expected. I thought I had prepared myself, bracing for it, but it was all in vain when I met Aqua-sama. He was far more attractive and matched my taste in younger boys than I had anticipated.
”Shirogane-sama was recently hospitalized due to an injury. We have received reports that he suffered from amnesia as a result. It’s a delicate situation, but I believe it won’t be a problem for someone as competent as you.”
The department I joined, the National Confidentiality Bureau Health and Safety Division, is an important division responsible for managing male sperm. Among its functions, highly accomplished individuals are assigned exclusive male partners who will take care of them for life. However, it is important to note that the male partners have the right to dismiss their assigned officials, so caution is required. Once dismissed, a female official cannot become a partner to another male. Men tend to dislike women who are s*xually liberated, while female officials receive advanced s*xual education and must remain virgins.
It is an unspoken rule, known to all women working in this workplace.
But I don’t want to be disliked, I don’t want to be dismissed.
Therefore, I made up my mind to suppress these feelings and perform my duties with an expressionless and professional demeanor. But…!
”I’m Shirogane Aqua. It’s a pleasure to meet you.”
Without showing any fear towards my large breasts or tall stature, he approached me with a smile and offered a handshake. In that moment, angels danced in my head, and the bells of a church rang out. Aqua-sama was far more wonderful than in any photograph, and despite being almost a decade older than him, I felt a flutter in my heart as a woman. Moreover, Aqua-sama was not just a good-looking prince-like man.
”Thank you for your assistance today. Good luck with your work.”
The women in this department have a higher resistance to men compared to the average woman. But when faced with Aqua-sama’s smile, all their defenses crumbled. Even the tough image they had built was instantly shattered. Like me, these women probably hadn’t encountered kind words from men before. While there are certainly people with a friendly attitude, it’s not common for someone to express gratitude and offer a smile like Aqua-sama does.
”Shirogane-sama, this way, please.”
I said, regaining my composure and guiding Aqua-sama to the reception room.
”Now, please enter this room.”
I added, opening the door as Aqua-sama passed by in front of me. At that moment, a faint refreshing scent wafted through the air, subtly mingling with a masculine musky aroma. Huh… I’ve never heard of men smelling this good! Or perhaps Aqua-sama is just special. I maintained my calm demeanor and proceeded with the explanation. And…
The time spent with Aqua-sama in the semen-extracting duty was like a dream. It was the first time I had ever seen a real manhood up close. Aqua-sama’s was far more impressive than what I had seen in textbooks or videos. It had a magnificently curved shaft, veins protruding along its length, swollen testicles, and a prominent glans. I wondered what would happen if it were to enter me. One could say that it was born to make women surrender, as if its very existence was meant for that purpose. Aqua-sama possessed a wicked manhood that made every woman who saw it aware of her own femaleness. Though it was through the use of a device, I was able to assist Aqua-sama in his ejaculation. That alone brought me happiness. However, as I was cleaning the room after the procedure, I froze upon seeing a notification on my smartphone.
[Congratulations! Shirogane Aqua-sama has ejaculated using your vaginal data.]
When the device is used for ejaculation, a notification is sent to the woman who was the subject. It is kept secret from the male side, but every woman knows about it.
”I didn’t think it was possible, but…”
I looked down at the two large masses hanging from my body. That disgusting chest that had been ridiculed by boys continued to grow throughout middle school and high school. It wasn’t only that senior who had cast disgusted glances at my breasts. However, Aqua-sama didn’t look at my breasts with disgust; instead, he sent me a heated gaze filled with desire.
”I-I can’t believe Aqua-sama gets excited by looking at such a huge mass of flesh like me. He must be out of his mind.”
I couldn’t help but tremble as I uttered those words. I never imagined that a plain and unsociable woman like me would become an outlet for the s*xual desires of a wonderful man like Aqua-sama.
”Male semen is a very precious thing, and it’s such a waste for someone like me to be the object of his ejaculation.”
Within the data, there is input of vaginal data that corresponds to the ideal solution for each male. Among the women who have widely shared their data, there are even famous idols and actresses. And yet… and yet! For some reason, Aqua-sama chose to use my data. The whole situation was so surreal that my head was starting to feel muddled. My emotions, with nowhere to go, overflowed as words spilled out.
”I-I think it would have been better if he had poured it directly into me, if someone like me is enough for him. Instead of using this machine…”
I can’t help but feel jealous of the machine, even thinking that makes me realize how absurd I am. The amount of semen that Aqua-sama released was simply too much, and I hastily caught the overflowing semen in my palm. The warmth of the semen in my hand and the image of Aqua-sama’s excited manhood after ejaculation are unforgettable. His handsome expression at the moment of ejaculation and his adorable face afterward, everything about him is to my liking. Moreover, I had heard that the amount of semen from men is usually quite small, but Aqua-sama’s quantity far exceeded the data of other men.
”Aqua-sama…”
My once closed-off heart and suppressed emotions transformed into hot tears that spilled from my eyes.
”To be desired by a man… I never knew it could bring such happiness.”
Neither my mother, nor my grandmother, nor any man I had ever met had ever needed me in their lives. But… but Aqua-sama, only Aqua-sama… he… he…
My cold heart began to warm. No, perhaps from the moment I laid eyes on him, my heart had already been pounding with anticipation.
”I want Aqua-sama’s baby.”
I rubbed my throbbing lower abdomen with my hand. I could feel that my own femininity, which I thought would never be utilized, was preparing itself to accept Aqua-sama’s essence.
I don’t need marriage or a fairytale ending. I don’t aspire for such lofty dreams. Just once, just a single time, I want him to desire me fiercely as a single girl. With that memory alone, I can live the rest of my life.
It doesn’t have to be a marriage and childbirth, like a picture-perfect happy ending. For someone like Aqua-sama, who used me as nothing more than a disposable tool, with his expressionless face like a machine and his gaze violating my large, cumbersome breasts, I want him to use my body only for himself. I’m fine with being just a disposable instrument. After all, Aqua-sama brought me pleasure with his expressions of ecstasy.
For Aqua-sama, I can do anything. I’ll fulfill his desires, his preferred play, any twisted s*xual inclinations he may have. I’m prepared for anything. With determination, I sit in front of the mirror and use my fingertips to lift the corners of my mouth.
”Mu-mu…”
I attempted to practice smiling, but it didn’t go well. However, I can’t give up here. While Aqua-sama may prefer a woman with a stoic expression like mine, there’s a chance that a woman with a more expressive face might bring him even more joy. Someday, when Aqua-sama can use my body as a woman, I secretly started practicing my smiles from that day onward.
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Edited by Kanaa-senpai.
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