Volume 7 Chapter 20 Yukishiro Emily, Bad News – the Holy Aqua Religion is Full of Weirdo
Edited by: Kanaa-senpai
It’s been three days since I arrived at the church.
Life here is super comfy. I’ve got a nice bed with AC, and they give me fresh Sister outfits every day. Plus, they feed me three meals a day, and the food is even good! Well, it’s way better than my weed around my place, at least – there’s hardly anything worse than that. The only downside to this life is not being able to mas***bating whenever I want, especially when I get h*rny. Since I share rooms with a few others, this is not possible. So, when I’m in the mood, I have to go outside.
Oh, and for those who’d find it inappropriate, I should mention that mas***bating in the church is a big no-no. But guess what? I’m not the only one doing mas***bating. In fact, some of the Sisters have a pretty strong s*x drive. Proof of that is, last night, when I went out, I saw about three Sisters having fun with d*ldos out in the open.
’Aaah! No…. Spare my lady parts, please. You can do whatever you want with the other hole.’
’Mmm, there’s no way I’ll let something dirty like that into my private place!’
’Ah, ah… not inside, take it out quickly!’
By the way, that tree over there, wasn’t it supposed to be some sacred tree? Can they really use it like that? Also, since coming here, I’ve noticed that the Sisters in Stars have some pretty limited fantasies. They seem to really like scenarios where they’re the ones in control, forcing themselves on someone. Seems like a bunch of people who are pretty deep into their desires have gathered here.
While those fantasies are a classic for women, they’re almost impossible to actually make happen. For example, imagine I walked around town with a sign saying, “R*pe me with Nak*d, use my body as you like,” starting from now. Even if there were no obstacles like getting reported or caught by the police, I doubt any guy would actually assault me after a month of walking. Of course, there’s a slight chance it could happen, and there have been cases in the past, but they’re incredibly rare.
”Sigh… I hope those guys are okay.”
I munch on the bread they gave me and look up at the clear blue sky. Thanks to seeing Sisters every day at the church, I can’t help but think about the crazy bunch known as the Holy Aqua Religion. I thought they’d probably get tired of their villainous secret society games and disband after a while. But apparently, they’ve only gotten worse since I’ve been gone. I used to think that with time, they might just naturally fade away, but now I’m not so sure… I wonder if Claire, the one I left behind, is okay?
By the way, even though Claire acts all innocent, I’m pretty sure she’s as h*rny as me, once her skin was peeled. Well, I haven’t actually seen anything, but deep down, all women are the same. Oh, and speaking of “peeling p*nis,” if I’m gonna peel, I’d like to peel off Aqua-sama’s p*nis, but Aqua-sama probably doesn’t have a foreskin. It’s just a feeling I have.
Anyway, I take that familiar herb out of my pocket, sprinkle some powder on it, and roll it up. I put it in my mouth and light it up with the lighter I found.
”Phew… a smoke after a meal and mas***bating is the best.”
The sweet smell of biscuits mixes with the nice aroma of weed make me chilled. Last time I did this in front of a fellow enthusiast, they were all impressed, like, “Wow, Emily-sama, you’ve given biscuits unlimited potential.” But that’s not it. I just didn’t have any money or food, so I had to get creative with what I had.
’You there, what are you up to?’
Oops, I quickly extinguish the fire like a high school student who has been caught smoking and stuff the biscuit with powder back into my pocket. By the way, just so you know, I’ve never smoked a cigarette. After all, I want to have healthy babies, and women can’t really choose when they’ll get pregnant. So, it’s better to be healthy and ready for pregnancy at any time.
’It’s a wedding today. Instead of slacking off, go join everyone.’
I head towards where the big sister is pointing.
I don’t really know why, but apparently Kanon is getting married here today. Wow, even though she said so much that she likes Aqua-sama. Guess fantasies and reality are different, huh? Anyway, it’s surprising that even someone like Kanon, who seems a bit airheaded, could find a fiancé who’d take her. I bet that guy is just as weird as Shumi. Since I’m here, might as well give him a look as Shumi’s friend.
’Hey, sorry, could you put this away in the storage? Go down the dead-end, take a right, and it’s the third room.’
’Yes, yes, ma’am.’
I walk down the church hallway, holding the box I was given. Even though it’s been a few days since I arrived here, this church is still so vast that I can’t quite get a grip on the layout.
”Was it this way?”
I take a right at the dead-end as instructed. Coincidentally, I meet eyes with a Sister walking toward me. The moment I see her, a shiver runs down my spine. She looks like she’s in her late twenties, but she’s probably older. She’s trying to hide it with her clean Sister outfit and demeanor, but my eyes can’t be deceived. The seductive atmosphere emanating from her, the alluring sweet scent that bewitches men, her carefree posture, plump lips, and the way she gazes at men, all scream strong s*xual desire. Yep, no doubt about it – she’s definitely quite the pervert, probably one of the h*rniest I’ve seen. No mistake.
She looks a bit surprised when she sees my face, but then she quickly smiles and steps aside. Oh, turns out there’s no harm in being a perverted woman. She probably saw me carrying the box and decided to give me some space.
I say thanks as we pass each other, and she nods back at me with a slight bow.
’No problem… I just did what anyone would.’
What a nice person… Sorry about earlier, saying she looked like a perv. But don’t worry, I’m just as pervy, and if we get the chance, we should go have some fun together. I’ll even lent her some of my personal collection.
’See you later.’
Ah, mature women really get it. We can have a whole conversation with just a few words. To those who are not so perceptive, this is what I meant in my earlier exchange.
’See you later (Let’s go have fun together sometime).’
’Yes (I’ll be up for it, maybe tonight).”
As a grown-up lady, they have to be skilled at this kind of subtle conversation exchange. I step into the designated room, close the door, and casually put down the box. I look out the window absentmindedly. Outside the church, there’s a big crowd gathered, probably to catch a glimpse of this country’s princess in her wedding dress. Wow, she was actually pretty popular… Well, that’s good. I was a bit worried. I mean, it’s Shumi I’m talking about. Knowing how Shumi usually is, I was concerned that she might be disliked by the people, but if she’s this beloved, even with her head in the clouds, it’ll probably be fine. Yeah, yeah, I tell myself, trying to reassure.
I take a deep breath and look up at the ceiling. I can’t help but feel exasperated. If this is really what she wants, then that’s fine. But I know her well enough to understand that she’s as innocent as I am. Her feelings for Aqua-sama are genuine. She’s not like Nee-san, who can differentiate between reality and fantasy, or like those idiots who let their imagination run wild. Shumi, Kanon, she genuinely loved Aqua-sama.
Unfortunately, neither Nee-san nor Morikawa are here. Well, Nee-san is one thing, but even if Morikawa were here, she’d probably be more of a nuisance than anything. Regardless, the only one who can help Kanon right now is me, her senior. Aaaaahhhh, what a hassle. But well, there’s no other way. She treated me to some delicious meat before, so I’ll help her out.
I stick my hand into my pocket, take out the blindfold I always carry just in case, and wrap it around my eyes.
”… There’s no other choice.”
As I mutter, a black shadow falls from the ceiling. Ugh, what the…? I was so surprised I couldn’t even scream, I just froze.
”Truly, you are an exceptional saint to have noticed me hiding in the ceiling, nin-nin!”
A woman dressed like a typical ninja kneels before me.
What! Another weirdo has shown up!? This is definitely what I think it is. Probably one of those crazy people’s gang!
”One of the Holy Aqua Religion’s twelfth bishop, also known as the kunoichi, Popcorn Pancake. Nin-nin.”
See? It’s Holy Aqua Religion again. The crazy ones are always associated with Holy Aqua Religion. Well, I guess it makes sense! And what’s with that twelfth bishop thing? Isn’t it just a chuuni (delusional) bishop? And that ridiculous name, Popcorn Pancake! Why would she be a popcorn pancake if she’s so clearly a ninja?
”I, um, like both pancakes and popcorn…”
Ugh, what a joke. If they were going to send someone, couldn’t they at least send someone less ridiculous from Holy Aqua Religion?! Sure, I can concede that pancakes are one of Aqua-sama’s specialties, but where did the popcorn come from? Seriously, what’s up with that?
I’m not complimenting you, okay? Stop blushing, I didn’t give you a compliment. One thing’s for sure, though, she’s definitely a mess. She had the same scent as Hogekawa earlier!! Well, whatever, it’s better than being alone. She can at least act as a shield.
”Po… cough! I am the kunoichi. I’m here to uncover the truth behind this marriage. We’ll stop Her Highness Kanon’s wedding!”
Yeah? Seriously?! Where did the nin-nin go that she was using earlier?! This is the time to use it, nin-nin!
”Then I shall inform those outside.”
Oh… ohhh! So, there are allies out there, too! Yeah, yeah, that’s what I wanted to hear. Call those three crazy people who hijacked the plane earlier!
A few seconds after I send the kunoichi off into the ceiling, she pops back out again.
”By the way, O Saint… do you know which way is the exit? Nin-nin.”
I wanted to hold my head… She’s a ninja, right? A ninja who can’t find her way around? Come on, seriously? Holy Aqua Religion, fine, I’ll even grant that you’re the twelfth bishop, or whatever chuuni bishop you are. But couldn’t you have at least included one normal person? I don’t know who’s in charge there, but can’t you guys straighten up? Come on, please! I’m really begging here!!
As I point in a random direction, the kunoichi’s eyes light up, and she disappears somewhere.
Yeah… this isn’t looking good. It’s my fault that I tried to include the crazy people of Holy Aqua Religion in my calculations. I should’ve just relied on myself, like always. With that thought in mind, I hide in the room, holding my breath, waiting for the right moment.
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Edited by Kanaa-senpai.
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