Volume 9 Chapter 9 Yukishiro Emily, From Today I Am a Maid
Edited by: Kanaa-senpai
I don’t have any money!
By the way, I remember there was a drama with that name in the past… or maybe not. Well, that doesn’t matter. First, I need to think about today’s meal. Grass again? Is it grass? By the way, when I was pulling out grass, I received a commendation from the city for participating in a cleaning activity. Ugh, never mind that. If it’s paper, I would prefer discount coupons for the udon shop or supermarket vouchers!
Oh… speaking of paper, I remember a few days ago I tried to eat cardboard and it was clearly impossible. As for leather shoes, I don’t even want to remember. Why did I try to bite that thing…
Hunger really makes people foolish.
”Well, let’s go there.”
I head towards the headquarters of the Holy Aqua Religion to get a free meal. I changed into a sister’s outfit in the nearby restroom because I find it embarrassing.
”Oh, it’s the Saint-sama!”
”Wow, it’s my first time seeing her.”
”You’re lucky. You might receive some blessings.”
”Thank you, thank you.”
Hello, as I entered the floor of the Holy Aqua Religion headquarters, I wandered around looking for naive… I mean, someone who might treat me to a meal. It would be easier if there was a naive ninja or someone like Claire or Rion.
”Haa… haa… this is the scent of Aqua-sama…”
Oops, as soon as I entered the building, I saw a huge perverted guy, a perfumer. She’s still as weird as ever. Looking at her half-removed protective suit, it seems like she collected the air of Aqua-sama in the elevator.
Phew, this is truly the headquarters of the Holy Aqua Religion! It feels like it’s over as soon as I entered. Anyway, I elegantly ignored the perfumer and wandered around the headquarters, when a sister approached me.
”Saint Emily-sama, long time no see.”
Oops… I almost let out a voice unintentionally. This is Kamiechi, the artist who is also a doctor named Maria, if I remember correctly. She usually gives off a downer vibe, but today she seems unusually cheerful, which makes me feel a bit uneasy.
”You’ve come at the right time. Our sanctuary is finally complete, please come and see.”
Sanctuary? Did the Holy Aqua Religion create something incomprehensible again without telling me?
Ugh, I’m hungry, but I can’t let them get away with whatever they’ve done. This sister told me to take care of it, so I might get scolded if I don’t check what they’re doing. Reluctantly, I follow Maria, who kindly invited me.
”This is the sanctuary.”
Hmm, indeed, it’s called a sanctuary for a reason, the solemn atmosphere is really strong. But what’s this? A straw? Why are they decorating with straws?
”This straw was actually used by the Supreme God Aqua-sama.”
Seriously!? So, if I kiss that slightly concave part at the tip, it’s an indirect kiss! My excitement is through the roof! Man, I wonder if I could get them to let me give it a little smooch with my Saint-sama privileges or something? Wait, that’s not right! How did they even get their hands on this in the first place?
Could it be that they used illegal means to obtain it… No, no, no! If they find out, Nee-san will kill me!
While I was panicking in my mind, Maria in front of me smiled sweetly.
”This straw was placed in the trash by the Supreme God Aqua-sama and granted to us.”
I knew it was a crime! They must definitely be violating some city ordinance or something!
Maria must have noticed what I wanted to say, as she lifted up a nearby trash bin and showed me the bottom part.
Um, what’s this? “This trash bin is for recycling only. Once you put garbage in it, it becomes the property of Clean Aqua Ecosystems, the recycling company contracted with this building, so please be aware.”
Clean Aqua Ecosystems? It’s like some weird front company or something.
By the way, Holy Aqua Religion has various companies, but their true nature remains a mystery.
”This trash can is installed throughout the property.”
Seriously? That’s perfect! It’s almost on the edge of being a crime, or rather, completely out of bounds. The person who came up with this is dangerous!
”Well then, please take a look at this.”
Hmm, I see. This area seems to have spoons, forks, and cutlery… Can I take one of them home? Just for a moment, you know. I’ll just stick it in my hole and take it out. Look, it’ll be like a pseudo cu***lingus.
I might even negotiate with Nee-san using this. After all, she seems quite perverted. Unlike Hogekawa, who is carefree and walks around, and clumsy self-proclaimed wife. But I happened to see her mas***bating, so I know how much she is struggling with her own body. Yes, that was during the hot summer… Wait, what is this?
When I look closely around the cutlery, I see tissues scattered. What is this?
”Oh, as expected of Saint-sama? Have you noticed? These are all used holy papers actually used by the supreme god, Aqua-sama.”
Seriously! Wow, if there are so many, I want at least one! With this many, there might even be one that Aqua-sama used to wipe his d*ck.
Ugh, my uncontrollable maiden heart is throbbing in my lower abdomen. I see, so this is what they call a maiden’s heart! Aqua-sama, I finally understand what it means to have a maiden’s heart!
”By the way, the inside of the showcase is filled with the fresh air of the supreme god, Aqua-sama, to maintain freshness.”
Alright! From today, I will live inside this showcase! As I tried to somehow get into the showcase, someone grabbed my shoulder. Huh? Who? I slowly turn around.
”Oh, Saint-sama… If you’re coming, please inform us in advance.”
Eek! It’s a zombie wearing a sister’s outfit! Wait, when I look closely, it’s Claire. Hey, are you still in Halloween cosplay? Huh? No? Your face turned pale because these charms are causing stomach pain? It’s not makeup? You should definitely go to the hospital…
Seriously, to push Claire, who is usually serious, this far, the Holy Aqua Religion is a terrible bunch! The higher-ups need to get their act together!! Wait, I was also a higher-up. Sorry.
By the way, Claire? Stop gripping my shoulder so tightly, it’s scary.
”Saint-sama, thank you for today. The sanctuary will continue to add new sacred relics, so please come and visit regularly!”
I am dragged away by Claire from the sanctuary. D*mn, I wanted to see the lip balm that was in the back… Well, it can’t be helped. At least I achieved my initial goal of meeting Claire, so how about treating me to a meal?
”Emily-san, your real purpose is food, right? Let’s quickly go to the cafeteria and go back. With you around, the believers will get even more excited and become more troublesome.”
Don’t say it’s troublesome! You and I are comrades who share the same joke about Aqua-sama! We are bound by our s*xual desires, comrades who have soaked eggplants together! By the way, you’re quite perceptive to understand that I’m here for food. Please, I’m counting on you!
As I entered the cafeteria, I found the other person I was looking for.
Yes, second person found! I quickly secure the ninja by hugging from behind.
”Let’s have a meal together.”
Do you understand, ninja? It means you treat me. If you want, you can even check the empty wallet in my pocket. I checked earlier to see if there was any mistake, but no matter how much I wished for it, it was still empty, zero yen.
It was true that no matter how much I spent, it was still zero.
”Hehe, dinner with the saint, I don’t have to eat in the bathroom today…”
Hey, seriously… You’re the only nice guy in the Holy Aqua Religion who eats alone… I couldn’t help but exchange glances with Claire.
”Rin-chan, would you like to eat with me next time?”
That’s good, ninja. Oh, wait? Now that I think about it, Claire is the youngest among us… And Rin-chan is older than her. Well, I’m older than both of them who will treat me to a meal. It’s just a coincidence that we college girl is being taken care of by a high school student like Claire. Yeah, think about it. High school girls are basically at the Shumi level. Claire is just special! That’s what I think.
”I’ve said it before, but I’ll go with you next time.”
This is a subtle sign that I want to go with her and treat me to a meal. Of course, I don’t want to just be treated, so I plan to teach her the truly enjoyable mas***bation techniques, ways to expand your preferences, and explore new erogenous zones according to the teachings of the Saint.
It’s not a relationship where one side benefits and the other side loses, this is a win-win relationship. I also plan to teach Shumi, who treated me to a meal in the past, various things when I reached out to her crotch, but I was seriously grabbed by Nee-san who asked me what I was doing to a minor.
That Nee-san at that time was, even now, as far as I know, she was as scary as the five fingers I remember. As evidence, when I saw my panties later, the crotch part was yellowed as if I had wet myself.
But who cares about that? If it was a boy wetting himself, there would be a great demand for big sister types, but there’s no one who would be happy about a girl wetting herself. If there was such a guy, he would be a god. Well, the conversation got off track. I peered into the ninja’s face again.
Yes, yes, the ninja looks happy and I’m happy too. I’m also happy that I can eat for free. Before Claire pays, I smoothly slide my plate next to hers. Auntie, this is together too!
Uh…! It’s fine to be despised or looked down upon. After all, what I’m doing is terrible. But when Claire, a high school student, looked at me with genuinely worried and sad eyes, it really struck a chord in my heart.
I feel like I really need to improve this… I can cause as much trouble as I want for Shumi and Hogekawa, and it wouldn’t hurt my heart at all, but I can’t cause trouble for Claire. I will be serious and improve from tomorrow!!
”Adults can’t eat the children’s lunch, you know…”
Oh, is that it! It’s fine, it’s fine. I’m forever a kindergartener, after all!! Look, the auntie-sister also had a face like “Well, what can you do?” and let me pass through the register. It’s okay, it’s okay.
”Ah, I’ll have the children’s lunch too.”
When Ninja switched to the children’s lunch, Claire also switched to the children’s lunch. For some reason, we continued to have children’s lunch for a while.
Yeah, I understand. The children’s lunch is just the right amount for girls to eat. What’s more, it has both fried chicken and hamburger. Ah, I remember. The adult children’s lunch that Aqua-sama treated me to… Sigh… I wish my body could also become a proper adult girl for Aqua-sama.
Oops, if I keep thinking about such trivial things, the warm meal will get cold. Let’s dig in!
”Oh, isn’t that Saint-sama?”
While I was eating, I was spotted by a crazy guy. I’ve been found by a dangerous guy. The crazy guy sits next to me as usual and starts munching on biscuits.
Both Ninja and the crazy guy are already adults, but they have a loli-like figure that rivals the top two in the Holy Aqua Religion. It can be said that it’s extremely unusual in a religion where most of the sisters are big sister types.
But this guy is surprisingly strong despite her figure. Hogekawa is also Gorikawa, after all, girls are scary.
”Ah, after all, eating biscuits raw is the best.”
Phew, as expected, the person who did a 24-hour ASMR livestream of just eating biscuits is amazing. She is famous in the real world as a professional gamer and an athlete in X-sports, and she also serves as the ambassador for the Holy Aqua Religion.
Aqua-sama is also one of the top 10 viewers in the world for the streaming platform towitch, which she also streams on. By the way, Aqua-sama is, of course, in first place.
According to Claire, the person who eats biscuits is originally half or quarter and is fluent in foreign languages, so it seems that she has more fans overseas, especially in the States, than in this country.
Well, in the worst case, I can try to get by with her entourage. It’s common to see many mysterious entourages around foreign sports players and rappers. When you think about it, how do they make money…
”Thank you for the meal.”
Ah, I ate, I ate. I was treated by everyone and even had dessert. Eating a meal with someone else’s money is delicious! Thank you, thank you. After parting ways with the person who eats biscuits and Ninja, we are alone again.
”Emily-san, please go home now.”
Hey!? Isn’t that mean after coming all this way? It’s quite difficult to go back home from here. Since I’m already full, I should play a little… I mean, observe carefully, or else I’ll be scolded by Nee-san. Look, I’m going to check what’s in this room!
”Ah! Look at this curved angle and black shine, and the swelling that makes this female visible. Without a doubt, this eggplant is a masterpiece once every 10 years, no, once every 100 years.”
A strange woman who talks about eggplants with comments like some Beaujolais, the Saint Farmer, was drooling and staring at the eggplant with a flattering look. I pretend I didn’t see anything and close the door quietly. Now then, let’s refocus and move on, next, next!
Oh, it’s Rinon! You can even treat me to dinner tonight if you want! So, I enter the room with Claire.
”Rinon-san, why are you spreading out the map?”
”I’m recording Aqua-sama’s activities.”
Rinon answers Claire’s question without changing her expression. Recording activities? What are you talking about? I peek into the desk. Um, Aqua-sama’s activity record?
05:30 Wake up, check today’s schedule, and change into his favorite gray training wear. We’re matching, yay!
05:40 Start morning training. Stretching, machine exercises, and finish with the treadmill.
06:20 Finish morning training. Head to the shower. The way his abs look when he takes off his outer garment today is wonderful!
06:40 Use Corolle’s lotion and cream for morning skincare. It seems like he won’t wear perfume today.
06:45 Greet Pegonia in the living room. It seems that Aqua-sama will be making breakfast today.
07:05 Breakfast is ready. It’s ham and eggs, ginger-flavored vegetable soup, bread, butter, and jam. Aqua-sama goes to wake up Kanon-san in the bedroom. How does it feel to be woken up in the morning by a boy, Aqua-sama that is? Kanon-san is the only girl in the world who can experience that. Kanon-san was still half-asleep at first, but then her face turned red as she remembered what happened last night. It can’t be helped. It was really intense. Even I, who was recording the activities, don’t remember how many times it happened.
07:10 Start eating. Kanon-san’s face was still red. She looks happy.
07:30 After finishing the meal, the three of them have a light chat while drinking tea. This is what a happy family looks like… Pegonia, who had a similar background to mine, has a very gentle expression, and it makes me happy. I hope that this life is also happy for her.
07:35 After brushing their teeth together with Pegonia, Pegonia helped Kanon-san change clothes. Aqua-sama pretended to check work emails while repeatedly giving Kanon-san’s changing clothes a hot gaze. They did something naughty yesterday… Does that mean he find his wife very attractive as a girl? How does it feel as a woman to be strongly conscious of being just a girl from a boy’s perspective? I can’t imagine it as another girl, but when I briefly fantasize about it, my body throbs so much that my head feels like it’s going crazy. This is not good. Let’s stop from now on.
07:55 Aqua-sama and Kanon-san hold hands and leave the house together. They continue holding hands even in the car. If teenage girls in the world saw this, they would go crazy just from that. I’m already used to knowing that they do even more amazing things at night…
Oh, wait a minute. Is this guy the most dangerous one?
I step back quietly and hide behind Claire.
”Hey, don’t use me as a shield, Emily-san.”
But this behavior record seems useful. If possible, record and submit it to me from now on!! And Shumi, go die. If she’s going to mooch off of meals, it should be Shumi. For the sake of girls all over the world, I pray that Shumi stubs her little toe on the corner of a dresser today. Aaaaah!!
”I’m going home now…”
”Yes, please go home as soon as possible.”
Honestly, I’m very tired. After parting with Rion and Claire, I head towards the entrance of the Holy Aqua Religion headquarters. As usual, the perfumer in the lobby was trembling. This is bad. Someone quickly retrieve that person!
”Oh, Saint-sama-chan, are you going home already!?”
Oh no, when I thought about going home, I see a familiar smiley face on the display. It’s that crazy person who calls themselves a high-performance server. Because of this person, many believers who noticed my return home gather in the lobby like a swarm of cockroaches. I’m just going home, you don’t have to come out!
”Saint-sama, please come again~!”
”To prepare for the next visit of Saint-sama, we will increase the number of believers even more!”
”A new facility will open soon, so please come again!”
”Thank you for establishing a wonderful religion!”
”Saint-sama, please steal the position of the legal wife from the wife!”
”Thank you, thank you”
”Holy Aqua Religion banzai! Saint-sama banzai!”
”*Ding-dong*, one of the twelve bishops of the Holy Aqua Religion received a call from the Dark Saint-sama for the Saint-sama. We will transfer the call to the window immediately, so please come to the counter as soon as possible.”
”Gratitude for the visit of Saint-sama! A-q-u-a!!”
Haha… so many people. Am I going to be sent to a battlefield or something? I wave to everyone with a strained smile and leave the Holy Aqua Religion headquarters. Of course, I ignore the call from the Dark Saint-sama. I didn’t hear anything! I can’t hear you!
After leaving the Holy Aqua Religion headquarters, I let out a big sigh. I’m so tired just from eating and going home. Huh? A black sedan trying to cross in front of me suddenly stops. The window glass next to the rear seat slowly opens. It’s Sumeragi Kukuri who appears from inside the car.
Oh no! This person is also one of those crazy people from the twelve bishops of the Holy Aqua Religion, so I have to be careful… Sumeragi Kukuri looks at me, who is on guard, and smiles.
What? Ah, that person! She laughed at me, who was scared, with a snort! Sumeragi Kukuri looks forward and closes the window glass, then goes somewhere.
Don’t mess with me!! That person is clearly mocking me knowing who I am!! Grr… It’s fine. I’ll email Shumi’s grandmother later and tell her that Kukuri-chan is bullying me!!
For now, I change clothes nearby again and head to the bicycle parking lot to go home.
”Hmm? What’s this?”
For some reason, someone had thrown a flyer into the basket of my bicycle. Is this harassment? I lower my gaze to the contents written on the flyer.
[Urgent! Maid Wanted!! “No experience necessary!”]
Wouldn’t you like to live a rich life from a high-class career change? It’s okay even if you don’t have money! With this, you can join the ranks of the wealthy starting tomorrow! Even beginners are guaranteed no risk and super high returns.
Employment type: Live-in [You will be given a room in a high-rise tower apartment in the center of the city!]
Flexible working hours [Guaranteed at least 2 days off per week, no overtime, working hours can start from 1 hour]
Work location: Hiraikawacho Fuji Tower Residence [You can become neighbors with Shirogane Aqua-sama!]
Salary negotiable [We will provide additional payment if it’s not enough. Allowance and pocket money included!]
Provided items: Maid uniform, meals, accommodation, transportation, clothing and cosmetics, daily necessities, and all other desired items will be provided!
Many successful people, the number one job recruitment site, Platinum Works!
Immediate interview, immediate acceptance, and if you apply now, you will receive 10,000 yen!
If you don’t hurry, someone else might take it! If you’re interested, at least try making a phone call!
Chiyoda-ku, Marunouchi, FujiZaibatsu Headquarters Building B1F, Platinum Works
Phone number XXX-XXX-XXXX, contact person: ○○
That’s it! I call without even looking at the address properly.
”Hello, um, I saw the flyer and called…”
”You’re hired! Can you come right away from today?”
Wait, that’s fast!!
”Oh, um, but I have stuff at home…”
”If it’s about your belongings, we have already taken care of the moving process, so don’t worry.”
According to the person in charge, they apparently took care of everything, including canceling various contracts, handovers, and even greetings and souvenirs to the neighbors. Seriously? I’m impressed by how much support recent job companies provide.
”So, someone will come to pick you up now, Yukishiro Emily-sama, please get on and head to the workplace. Oh, by the way, this time is also included in your working hours, so rest assured.”
As soon as I hang up the phone, a luxurious white sedan arrives to pick me up. If I’m wondering what to do with my bicycle, it seems they will transport it later. I get into the car as instructed and head towards the workplace.
Oh, wait? Come to think of it, earlier on the phone, they called me Yukishiro Emily-sama, but did I introduce myself like that? Hmm, I forgot. I’m getting dizzy from the rapid pace of events, and before I know it, we arrive at the destination. Wow… This is really where Aqua-sama lives.
I change into the maid uniform given to me in the car and follow the driver’s guidance to the employer’s place.
”Oh! You’re Kanon’s friend, Yukishiro Emily-san.”
”Ah… Kanon’s grandma! Wait, didn’t I hear that you came back home the other day?”
When I ask Kanon’s grandma, she tells me that she came here because she thought she would be a hindrance to her daughter and granddaughter’s reign. I see. I don’t really understand, but it seems like people in certain positions have a lot of difficulties.
My own family, the Yukishiro family, is also considered a prestigious family, but we’ve always lived a normal life, and even though Mom is different, I still can’t grasp the concept of Dad being a noble. Maybe it’s some kind of mistake or misunderstanding.
”So, I plan to rely on this country for a while.”
”I see. I’m glad that Grandma came back to this country.”
I’m sure Shumi would be happy too. Despite her appearance, she’s quite lonely. When we had a silly fight back in middle school, and I jokingly said, “I miss my mom’s breasts,” she started crying for real, and I panicked and comforted her. I wasn’t really mature either, but I was surprised to find out that Kanon’s crying point was there at that time.
Now that I think about it, maybe that was the reason why the four of us started meeting often. At that time, Nee-san was already a working adult, Morikawa was a college student, and I was a high school student, while Shumi was a cheeky middle schooler.
Even though she was a princess, I was worried about Shumi, who was living away from her family as a middle schooler, so I suggested that we meet regularly to check on her. Shumi probably doesn’t know, but when she married Aqua-sama, the three of us were really happy behind the scenes. We cried tears of joy. We’ll never tell her because she’ll definitely get carried away.
By the way, Pegonia-san was so scary when I made Kanon cry. Her aura of hostility was not that of an amateur. Is she really just a maid? Well, let’s not dwell on it. There are many things in this world that are better left unknown.
”I’m also glad that Emily-san applied to be a maid. Hey, would you be willing to stay by my side as a conversation partner without being too formal about it? But, with young people like Emily-san, is it boring to talk to an old lady like me?”
”No, not at all. Besides, on that night when we stayed at Aqua-sama’s house, you and I sang ‘stay here’ together, didn’t we? Since then, you and I have been friends!”
That night was so much fun. The sudden karaoke contest, the duets between me and Grandma Mary, Hogekawa and Shumi, and Nee-san and Aqua-sama.
Onee-san, who is usually a good singer, was blushing and off-key, but Aqua-sama supported her, which made her even more embarrassed, and her voice gradually became smaller.
While Hogekawa and I were grinning and watching Nee-san like that, we were glared at later. I don’t understand. She’s cute, so what’s wrong with that!
”Thank you. Hehe, Grandma is happy to have made young friends. Well then, Emily-san, let’s get along from now on.”
And so, I became Shumi’s Grandma Mary’s maid. When I shook hands with her, she had a wicked smile on her face.
”Hey, Grandma, have you told Kanon that we came here? Did you greet Aqua-sama?”
”No, not yet. We just finished moving, so I haven’t said anything yet. Besides, I wanted to surprise them…”
”Well, I have some good news.”
”Oh, really? What is it?”
In response, Grandma also smiled wickedly. Tomorrow’s dinner party, I thought of surprising them by bringing Grandma along and surprising Shumi. Just wait and see, Shumi. I’m going to deliver your Grandma to you!
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Edited by Kanaa-senpai.
Thanks for reading.