Volume 13 Chapter 332 Kohina Yukari, Aqua Rangers!
Edited by: Kanaa-senpai
Bored out of my mind, I started a stream in my room.
Almost instantly, the usual crowd of idlers poured in, flooding the chat window with noise.
”You people really have nothing better to do, huh? Got nothing else going on?” I said, giving the camera my most unimpressed face.
[Look at her—five seconds in and she’s already roasting us lol]
[Says the woman streaming in the middle of a lazy Sunday]
[LMA]
[You’re streaming because you’re bored too, right? We’re bored, you’re bored, perfect match]
[Hey, Kohina Yukari! Hagetoru dropped a new game!]
”Eh? Emily-chan released another one?” I tilted my head. Right, she’d mentioned pitching something to a near-bankrupt studio, hadn’t she?
”Drop the link. Don’t make me dig for it.”
Then, quickly—”Hey! Don’t you dare send me cursed links or anything you can’t show on stream!” I warned, flipping to a backup screen just in case. Once confirmed safe, I opened the legit download page.
”Aqua Rangers? What’s this supposed to be? It reeks of trash-game energy.”
While it downloaded, I skimmed the story summary.
Year XXXX: AI3510 goes rogue, conquering Earth with mechanical beasts. Survivors flee underground, forming fragile cities. Among them—female scavengers who brave the surface to retrieve sacred relics left by Aqua-sama. They call themselves the Aqua Rangers. The player takes their role, venturing into the wasteland to recover relics and survive against rival crews.
”Wait, is that even legal!?” I blurted. “Did they actually get permission from Beryl?”
[Nee-san played it already, it’s fine]
[Someone tell Nee-san she’s pregnant, she should chill with the grinding]
[Also tell Inko to stop spamming Aqua Rangers and play her Otome Games]
[Kanon-sama’s been hooked for days]
[She totally would, this is her kind of game]
[Kohina Yukari sucks at games—Aqua Rangers is way above her level]
[Putting 100 Beryl she rage-quits in five minutes!]
”Oh, really?” I smirked. “Who are you calling bad at games?”
I’d beaten plenty on stream. Sure, I wasn’t great, but I wasn’t hopeless either. Rolling up my sleeves, I cracked my knuckles.
”Fine. I’ll show you what ‘progress’ looks like.”
Game launched. I skipped the opening—who needs tutorials? Learn by dying, that’s my style.
Logged in. Pressed the big Deploy button.
[Ahahaha there she goes]
[No weapon, no armor, pure chaos queen energy]
[She didn’t even claim the free starter kit!]
[Real gamer girls go in naked, everyone knows that]
[She’s insane, I love it]
[What’s she gonna do when the first enemy shows up!?]
”Okay, map select… hmm—’Beryl HQ,’ ‘Shirogane Kingdom,’ ‘Beryl in Wonderland,’ ‘Otomezaki High,’ ‘Beryl Village’… let’s go with Beryl HQ.”
Match found in seconds. My character spawned right in the middle of a ruined cityscape.
”Huh. Quick matchmaking—nice! Wait, where am I!?”
Shattered towers loomed overhead, their windows dark and hollow.
”Beryl HQ”—so shouldn’t I be inside a building? I spotted a half-broken sign in the distance.
”Wait—is that a Morinaga ad? Then that must be the station over there… Aha! So this map starts around HQ, not inside it.”
That settled it. I checked the landmarks and began walking toward where HQ should be.
[Of course Kohina Yukari ignores the map—true Aqua Ranger instincts]
[Minimap is for weaklings]
[Her streams are on another level]
[Only from her streams do we achieve enlightenment]
[The devs’ map realism is next-level, but so is her chaos lol]
Crouched behind a crumbling wall, I peeked out.
Something massive—metallic, spider-shaped—crawled down Main Street.
”What the hell is that!? That thing’s huge! Like, three stories tall huge! I’m supposed to fight that? I don’t even have a weapon!”
First things first—find something to fight with. Once the thing lumbered past, I sprinted to the next building.
[Oh no, she’s doomed]
[That area’s packed with mobs, she’s gonna get cornered]
[Game over incoming!]
[Why didn’t she grab the free gun first!?]
[↑Because she’s Kohina Yukari, duh]
[Real pros don’t need freebies, they need guts]
”Free weapons? What are they even talking about?” I squinted at the chat.
”Oh, so you get free gear before launching? Seriously!? You could’ve told me sooner!“
I glared at the camera, fuming. “Unbelievable! You let me run around defenseless—what’s wrong with you people!?”
[LMAO]
[We literally told you at the start!]
[Sayamu Inko: You skipped the tutorial, your fault lol]
[↑Facts]
[Inko, go play your otome game instead of heckling!]
I scowled straight into the lens, jaw tight.
The chat exploded with laughter.
”Why does this kind of thing always happen to me?!” I muttered—clip taken.
I started searching the building, muttering curses under my breath.
”Seriously? Nothing on the first or second floor? What kind of stingy devs—ugh!”
Up the stairs to the third floor.
”Oh right, fun fact—Aqua-sama and I used to grab tea here all the time. Their summer-only anmitsu was amazing. I went like, three times last year.”
Grandma Ranko used to bring the Beryl girls here too. And there it was—the café, perfectly recreated down to the tiles and lace curtains.
”Wow. Emily-chan really doesn’t do things halfway. Say what you will, the girl’s got an eye for detail.”
[Whoa, hold up, useful info from Yukari?]
[You sure you’re allowed to say that on stream?]
[That café’s gonna be packed tomorrow]
[Kohina Yukari, I take it back—you’re a legit content queen]
[RamenHagetoru: Heard rumors of a god-tier stream—is this it!?]
[↑This is it lol]
[DEV IN THE CHAT!]
[Checked the café site—summer anmitsu’s gone till next year. RIP.]
Inside, I headed straight for my favorite window seat. “So… press this button to search? Got it.”
Click.
[Item Acquired: Spoon Used by Kohina Yukari / Common Item]
[Item Acquired: Cup Used by Kohina Yukari / Common Item]
”EXCUSE me!? Why are my used items in here!? And common rarity? That’s the lowest tier!”
Oh, Emily-chan and I were going to talk.
[Big oof, that’s a dud drop]
[Rarity order: Legendary > Epic > Rare > Uncommon > Common, btw]
[Guys, note it down—window seat in the back, that’s the spot]
[Pretty sure I pulled a legendary here once]
[↑No way!]
[Maybe Yukari’s bad luck is balancing her in-game knowledge?]
[Finally, a game where being Kohina Yukari gives you an advantage.]
I stashed the items and left, scavenging other buildings.
Weapons—check. But all I found were two-star uncommons and one-star commons. Pathetic.
”Wait—was that footsteps?”
A shadow appeared before my character. A second later—gunfire. My avatar dropped like a sack of pixels.
”What the hell!? You shoot first and ask later, you moron!”
I flipped on voice chat. “You hear me? Total jerk move!”
Oh—there’s a revive bar. So if it empties, I die for real in-game. Okay, that’s something.
[Obviously. It’s that kind of game.]
[She’s dead and still bossing people around lol]
[Who walks toward someone holding a gun!?]
[She’s reckless but like… too nice for this game]
[Her politeness is her downfall—peak Kohina Yukari energy.]
The shooter approached—and finished me off anyway.
”Guh! I spent so long looting—now I have to start over!?”
Respawn. I grabbed the free loadout this time and deployed in Shirogane Kingdom.
”Whoa… they actually replicated the whole castle town.”
Crouched behind a fountain, I edged forward—then got caught in a firefight between two other players.
”Oh, for—! I just want to explore, not get dragged into your nonsense!”
I toggled voice chat again.
”Hey! What do you two think you’re doing!? Shooting each other in broad daylight!?”
I pointed dramatically at a nearby street.
”See that giant spider-looking mech? If it notices us, we’re all dead, got it? So maybe—stop shooting, geniuses!”
[Game design critique incoming]
[Are you trying to argue with the devs?]
[92: Kohina Yukari-san, that is the gameplay loop]
[Normally you’d just third-party them quietly…]
[Real pros don’t hide—they negotiate mid-battle. Respect.]
[The Kohina Yukari pacifist arc begins!]
The two froze, guns lowered.
”Good. Now talk!” I demanded, leaving voice chat on open-mic.
”…Why?” came a voice, accented.
”Eh? Stars language?” Right—global servers.
I switched languages with all the grace of a broken translator.
”Can-yuu see da BIG BIG machine? Are-yuu baka!?”
I aimed my rifle toward the hulking spider mech for emphasis.
”LOOK! Over there! Danger! Use eyes!”
[‘Are-yuu baka’ I can’t breathe LOL]
[Is this Morikawa Kaede’s English class from national TV?]
[Sayamu Inko: Why is only ‘baka’ in Japanese!?]
[Simple insults transcend borders lol]
[Reporting for verbal abuse jk]
[World peace through chaos, let’s go!]
[Global chat: we don’t know her]
[She raises and ruins Japan’s reputation simultaneously.]
And somehow—miraculously—they lowered their guns.
”Yes! That’s it! Humanity should unite! The machines are the enemy, not us!”
[No way, she did it!]
[I’m actually tearing up]
[World, behold—this is Japan!]
[Instant tone shift lol]
[Can’t believe she actually stopped the fight!]
[Talking about peace from the sidelines is easy. Real warriors dive into battle to make it happen. Facts.]
Wait a second… if two or three of us teamed up, exploring would be so much easier!
With sudden inspiration, I waved at my new companions.
”Are-yuu search… Legendary? Ai want Legendary! Let’s go, togethaa!”
”Oh… YES!”
”Let’s go together!”
The two—who had been trying to kill each other minutes ago—jumped in excitement.
”Yes! That’s it! Finally, a proper team!”
[No way…]
[I’m actually moved]
[You see that? That’s the real spirit of Aqua Rangers]
[She’s… she’s becoming a legend]
[RamenHagetoru: I’m crying into my keyboard!!]
[↑ Dev’s dream moment right here!]
We advanced through the castle town in a weirdly triumphant march.
To reach the main estate, we’d have to pass through that massive gate—where the machine labeled stood waiting.
”Ah—ukaaai? Okay?” I asked, gesturing to detour.
”…OK!”
”HAHA, OKOK!”
Perfect! We veered away from the main gate toward the subway tracks.
If the game’s layout matched the real city, those tunnels would lead straight under the estate walls.
[There’s no way they understood ‘ukaaai,’ right?]
[Why is the newbie leading veterans lol]
[Those two have elite skins—she’s literally commanding endgame players]
[She’s actually right though… subway route works]
[Dev insight alert! Took us hours to find that entrance the first time!]
[She’s using real-world map knowledge like a pro.]
Down into the subway we went.
A few small mech creatures ambushed us, but with three of us fighting together, we survived.
”Ha! Told you—teamwork’s everything.”
”Nice, team play! We are best trio team!!”
”YES! We are the ultimate three-man cell!”
”Let’s go! Together!”
I charged ahead at the front. Behind me, gunfire echoed—mostly theirs.
[Reality check: the foreigners are doing all the work lol]
[One of them’s probably thinking, ‘Is our leader useless?’]
[She’s a mascot, not a tactician]
[Actually, genius—no ammo wasted if you never shoot]
[Still using a pickaxe, queen behavior.]
We reached the underground rail section. Gunfire rattled ahead—another firefight.
”Oh come on! They’re fighting again! We can’t pass through like this!”
Frustration bubbling, I switched on voice chat.
”Hey! Hey!!”
While my teammates ducked for cover, I, of course, ran straight into the open—unarmed.
The players ahead didn’t even hesitate—they turned me into Swiss cheese.
”WHAT are you doing!? You are… BAKA!?”
My shout made them flinch. The gunfire slowed.
I took the opening to unleash my greatest weapon—angry, broken English.
”Recover me! Youa recover! Are-yuu OKAY!?”
I gestured dramatically from the ground. My HP bar blinked red.
’No!’ came the reply.
”No-no-no! Not no! Recovery me! Youa recovery! Are-yuu OKAY!?”
”Why?”
”Because I said so, that’s why!” I snapped. “You shot me—now you fix it!”
I slammed my desk. “If you’ve got the nerve to pull the trigger, have the guts to help your victim stand up, got it!?”
[This woman is insane lol]
[Why is the dead player the one running negotiations?]
[She’s dictating the war’s outcome while bleeding out LMAO]
[Sayamu Inko: I can’t breathe, this is comedy gold]
[If Aqua-sama’s disciple is this unkillable, it tracks—she’s arguing mid-death!]
[Best sister–disciple combo in history.]
My revive gauge ticked dangerously low.
No time. I had to gamble everything.
Judging from the voices, my attackers sounded young—probably newbies.
I took a deep breath, switched tactics.
”Are-yuu… my daughter? Ai am your mother!!”
[She did not just pull the mom card LOL]
[Scam alert, emotional edition]
[I’m in physical pain from laughing]
[Kohina Yukari never misses—queen of chaos]
[Didn’t Aqua-sama pretend to be someone’s dad on stream last week?]
[Like master, like disciple lol.]
One of the enemy avatars froze. Their weapon wavered.
Oh? Ohhh? It’s working!
I opened my mouth to push further—but then came a quiet voice through the mic.
”I have no mom…”
”What? No mom?”
The player aimed their gun again.
Fine. If they didn’t have one, I’d be their mom.
”No-no-no! Ai am your mother! Let’s go, togethaa! Let’s play this game!!”
”No…”
Even as my avatar crawled across the floor, I kept moving toward them.
I wasn’t giving up—not now, not ever.
”Let’s go! Play this game! Together!”
Even through a screen, they could feel it. I was sure of it.
And then—
”…Yes.”
”Good girl!” I cheered.
The hidden player stepped out, revived me, and the other one followed.
”Ai am your mother! Okay? Let’s go together!”
”YES!”
”OK!”
Behind me, my original two allies peeked from cover, utterly confused.
[She… she actually did it]
[Four new teammates?? What the hell!]
[Even her squad doesn’t know what’s happening lol]
[Habu Chiyoko: So this… this is real diplomacy. Noted.]
[How did that even work?]
[↑No clue but I’m crying.]
In full actor mode, I led my newfound daughters into Shirogane Kingdom’s core.
We fought through waves of tiny mech beasts until we reached a treasure chamber.
[Item Acquired: Tissue Soaked with Shirogane Aqua’s Holy Essence / Legendary]
WHAT!? That’s totally not okay! Why is that Legendary and my stuff is Common!? Mine should be Legendary too!
”Let’s go! Return, escape!” I commanded.
We dashed toward the underground exit—only to find the same colossal mech from the gate guarding it.
I tossed a smoke grenade.
”Let’s run! Together, return point!!”
”Go! Go!” I shouted, covering their retreat.
The others sprinted ahead, but one lagged behind—the same kid from the tunnel.
”No… sorry…”
”Never give up! Come here!!”
I burst from cover, firing wildly to draw the mech’s attention.
A lucky shot hit its joint—the giant stumbled, crashing down.
”That’s what you get for hurting my daughter, you tin can!”
The last player crawled to safety. I slammed the hatch shut behind them.
Mission complete.
Then, a quiet voice came through the mic.
”Thank you. I had fun playing games with Mom… I love you.”
The channel fell silent. For once, even chat had no words.
[That was beautiful]
[Wait—this game’s supposed to be about killing, right?]
[Only Kohina Yukari could turn a shooter into a therapy session]
[RamenHagetoru: I’m honored to have made this game]
[Sayamu Inko: No one’s topping this stream, ever]
[Same. Crying rn]
[Even the foreign kids were sniffling…]
[I came for chaos, stayed for feelings.]
Back at base, I sold the questionable “Legendary” item immediately.
Then, spotting Aqua-sama online, I called.
”See? You just need more people! Come on, let’s play together!”
Beep—This number is no longer in service.
”LIAR! That’s your voice! I can hear you! Get in here already!”
I grumbled, hanging up. “You’re free, and I know it, don’t pretend!”
One by one, I tried calling Inko, Emily-chan, and even the Prime Minister.
All phones—off.
”Unbelievable! Everyone’s dodging me again!! Ughhhhh!!”
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Edited by Kanaa-senpai.
Thanks for reading.
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