Volume 13 Chapter 339 Shirogane Aqua Totally Not Past Life
Edited by: Kanaa-senpai
It was already the fifth day of the ‘Love Reality Show’ that began with the ‘Berry-Berry’ project. With the one-week deadline looming, the romantic entanglements of our group of six had reached a state of absolute chaos.
”Aqua-sama, is something wrong?” Hisui asked, tilting her head.
”Ah, sorry. I was just… thinking about the weekend concert,” I lied smoothly, flashing a smile meant to gloss over my distraction.
Technically, not a day went by where I didn’t think about the concert, so it wasn’t exactly a lie.
”That sounds nice,” Hisui beamed, her eyes sparkling. “I want to do more live shows too!”
”Haha. You don’t need to rush. If it’s you, Hisui-chan, you’ll be doing nationwide tours in no time.”
Truly, she was just like that in her previous life too. I gazed at her with a gentle fondness. To be blunt, Hisui-chan was exactly my type. In my past life, I had been a massive fan of Myojo Lily—her previous incarnation. If I could date her, I’d do it in a heartbeat. However, Myojo Lily, and by extension Hisui-chan, was a woman of such purity that not a single scandal had ever touched her in my old world.
”Ah! Aqua-sama, you have imo-kenpi attached to your hair!”
Imo-kenpi?! Why on earth is there a sweet potato snack in my hair?! That definitely belongs to Kohina-senpai, who was munching on them just a moment ago!!
Hisui-chan leaned forward, bringing her defenseless chest dangerously close to where I sat. The sweet scent of a fresh bath wafted over me, and the glimpse of cleavage through the gap in her shirt sent my heart racing.
”Here, I got it,” she chirped.
”Th-thanks, Hisui-chan.”
She directed a carefree smile at me, completely devoid of any ulterior motive. Well, of course. I returned the smile, though internally I was sweating. This was exactly why she never had any scandals in her past life. It wasn’t that she was guarded; it was that she understood absolutely nothing about romance, the subtleties of men and women, or ‘mood’. Even after all the romantic events Ai had set up, we never managed to get a good atmosphere going. But I couldn’t give up here.
”Hisui-chan.”
I closed the distance and reached for her side-tail. It was a bit of rough treatment, but I had no choice. Realizing that subtlety wouldn’t work on her, I decided to take drastic measures. I needed her to be conscious of me as a man, even just a little.
With that resolve, I took a lock of her hair and gently kissed it. Honestly, even I thought it was a bit cringy. But! If I didn’t do at least this much, nothing would get through to her!!
”Aqua-sama…”
Hisui-chan stared at me, her face flushing slightly. Had I finally triggered a flag? Yes, there was a time I actually thought that.
”That scene just now… it was just like Yuujin-sama! So cool!”
”Ah… yeah.”
Faced with her beaming, innocent smile, I couldn’t say another word.
”I really should study acting and musicals more to learn about expression and creating atmosphere, huh? If I had your expressive power, Aqua-sama, I think I could convey my feelings to the fans even better when I sing!”
Watching her talk so happily, all my impure thoughts and romantic intentions were completely drained away. As expected of the flawless, pure idol… no, she was a ‘chaste idol’ who existed beyond mere purity. No matter how hard I tried, the mood just wouldn’t turn sweet.
”In that case, Kohina-senpai looked bored eating her imo-kenpi earlier. You should go ask her for tips. She’s free, and she’s not the type to misunderstand your earnestness, so she’ll probably give you some advice.”
”Eh? Really!? Then I’ll go right now!!”
”Ah…” Before I could finish, she dashed out of the living room toward the neighboring house where Kohina was. Thinking and acting simultaneously—that part of her really overlapped with her past self. ‘Unstoppable, Unbreakable, Just Try and Stop Me’—that was Myojo Lily. I had wanted to become an idol because I admired that about her.
I closed my eyes, letting my mind drift to the past.
* * *
’Hey, you there!’
It happened back in my previous life, while I was walking through Shibuya. I believed the rumor that if you wanted to be an idol, you just had to walk around Shibuya and get scouted. As I wandered the streets, a man with an incredibly muscular build called out to me.
’You’ve got a good build. Great skeletal structure.’
The older man touched my body all over, a wide grin on his face. That was my meeting with my master, Akio-san.
’You want to be an idol? Then come to the agency where I work.’
The agency I joined was heaven for an orphan like me. Food, clothing, shelter—everything was provided, and I even got a salary. I had heard that idol trainees struggled to live a normal life, so I wondered if it was okay to be this blessed.
’Alright, first, put this on! From today on, you’ll be referred to by the number on your outer garment. If you want to be called by your name… well, survive for at least a month.’
For some reason, I was made to wear camouflage fatigues. Thinking back now, those clothes… they felt kind of like the Self-Defense Forces. While many dropped out during the hard training, I remained until the end.
’I’m Morikawa Tomo, one of the instructors. Call me… Tom. Right away, I’m going to have you all challenge an impossible mission.’
To prepare for the day we’d become idols and act in movies, we did realistic exercises that assumed we were in action films. Carrying 100kg weights up the Matterhorn and crossing Antarctica naked were tough, but I was most surprised by how realistic the bullets flying during the action choreography felt. When I bent backward to dodge a bullet, Instructor Morikawa shouted, ‘You’re a genius! Inherit Neo’s will and become the savior of this world!’ or something nonsensical like that.
’No, no, I want to be an idol!’ I had said.
At that, my masters turned pale and started whispering.
’Guh! As expected, Shirogane is a man of large scale. Even after all this, he hasn’t noticed a thing!’
’He really is the big man I scouted. He doesn’t sweat the small stuff. It’s like looking at what a man should be. I wish I were born like him.’
’Actually, because you guys enjoyed training him like a sponge that absorbs everything, we’ve created a monster. A certain allied nation is calling Shirogane a “One-Nation Military Power” rather than a one-man army. I’m starting to doubt if even all of us together could beat him…’
’Hey, more importantly, what do we do? We can’t fool him much longer. Should we tell Shirogane the truth? He’s so pure that my heart aches just looking at him.’
’No, let’s debut him as an idol to fulfill his dream for now! Luckily, Shirogane has the face, can sing, can dance, and while he’s smart, he’s honest and an idiot, so he can do anything!! He’ll survive as an idol. Plus, with that body and action skills, forget women—there isn’t a man alive who wouldn’t fall for him!! Then, we’ll secure new idio—healthy young men lured in by Shirogane to solve the manpower shortage in our Self—Agency!!’
””’That’s it!!””’
Thinking back, I wonder what they were talking about while fighting sparring partners amidst a hail of bullets. I was too busy neutralizing gun-wielding opponents with my bare hands to hear their conversation. I wonder if my masters are doing well. I died halfway through, so I couldn’t receive their guidance until the end, but I hope I’ve caught up to them a little bit.
* * *
”Aqua-senpai, you’ll catch a cold sleeping in a place like this.”
”Hmm?”
I opened my eyes and looked toward the voice. Kukuri-chan was staring at me with a worried expression.
”Ah, no. I was just thinking about something.”
”Did I… disturb you?”
Seeing her apologetic face, I smiled. “Not at all.”
I really felt sorry for Kukuri-chan. I grabbed her wrist and gently pulled her toward me.
”A-Aqua-senpai?!”
Against her surprised face, I whispered into her ear. “Look, we’re supposed to be in love, so it’s not weird for us to flirt a little, right?”
”Geez! You said that last time too…”
Kukuri-chan blushed, remembering how I had kissed her forehead, palm, and hair in the camera’s blind spots over the last few days. Since we were dating, kissing every day shouldn’t be a problem.
”Hey, Kukuri-chan. I have a proposal.”
”Wh-what is it?”
She looked at me nervously. I decided to turn this reality show to my advantage.
”As a test, why don’t you try kissing me?”
”Eh!?”
Her face turned beet red, and she looked bewildered.
”You know how Ayana said in that lip commercial, ‘Is it okay for love to start with a kiss?’ So, if you kiss me, Kukuri-chan, you might become more conscious of me, and I think I’ll become more conscious of you too.”
Basically, I was usually the one initiating kisses. I wanted to be on the receiving end for once. Plus, this way, I could legally be lovey-dovey with my girlfriend Kukuri-chan in front of the cameras.
”Of course, I don’t want to force you if you hate it, so you can refuse.”
I gave her a gentle smile. After a moment of hesitation, Kukuri-chan seemed to make up her mind and looked back at me with a direct gaze.
”I understand. Um… is the cheek okay?”
”Yeah, that’s fine.”
She stared at my eyes, looking like she wanted to say something. What was it? Was there still imo-kenpi on my face? I frantically touched my face to check.
”Aqua-senpai?”
”Ah, oh, sorry. I thought Kohina-senpai’s snacks might still be… no, never mind, I’m good.”
I turned my cheek toward her to make it easier.
”Um… it’s embarrassing, so could you close your eyes?”
”Sure.”
A few seconds after I closed my eyes, I felt the sensation of Kukuri-chan’s lips on my cheek. A kiss from a cute younger girl… simply put, it was the best!!
I tried to open my eyes to see her face, but Kukuri-chan pressed something against my face to hide it.
”Kukuri-chan?”
”No! I don’t want you to see my face right now…”
Wait, even so, this is… The soft, squishy sensation pressing against both my eyes. There was no mistake. This was the sensation of Kukuri-chan’s modest breasts. 1
She was probably confused and embarrassed by the cheek kiss, but I wanted her to realize she was doing something far more embarrassing right now. Perhaps my wish got through, because she suddenly pulled away.
”Ah… w-wait. This isn’t what it looks like!”
The usually calm Kukuri-chan waved her hands frantically, stammering excuses with a bright red face. How cute. I listened with a gentle expression. Emily, who had been watching from the shadows, had a similar look on her face. Noticing her, Kukuri-chan turned even redder.
”I-I didn’t mean to do that!!”
Red to her neck, she turned and dashed away. Begging for kisses… not bad. I thought I’d try it with various people when we got back. Just as Kukuri-chan left, Haa-chan entered the living room, effectively swapping places with her.
”Pa… Aqua. Did you do something to Kukuri-senpai?”
”No, nothing really…”
Haa-chan stared at me with dead, scornful eyes. Ugh, that hurt… Unable to withstand the Kanon-style glare, I made an excuse in broken Japanese like a weirdo.
”I-I did… nothing…”
”Second Sister said you’re really easy to read, Aqua.”
If this were Kanon, I could forcefully gloss over it, but this was Haa-chan. Though an elementary schooler, she lacked Kanon’s clumsy element. She walked right up to me and peered into my face without hesitation.
”Cheek…”
”Eh?”
She pointed at my cheek.
”There’s a kiss mark.”
”Eh? Seriously?!”
I looked in the mirror excitedly. But there was no mark on my cheek.
”Liar. But my guess was right.”
C-Crap!! I realized I’d been completely played. Is this the power of Haa-chan, who lacks Kanon’s clumsiness and Victoria-sama’s easy-to-please nature, the one said to be the smartest of the three sisters?!
”Hey, Aqua. Can Haa kiss you too?”
”Hueh?”
Haa-chan sat on my lap facing me and wrapped her arms around my neck. Wait, Haa-chan! Face-to-face straddling with an elementary schooler is bad! This definitely violates some law!! Ugh, between Fran-chan and her, the elementary school girls in this world might be the strongest.
”No?”
She tilted her head and pleaded. Nngh, cute! To say the least, she was adorable, so I wanted to forgive everything!!
”…Okay. Aqua, come here.”
Getting off my lap, she grabbed my hand and pulled hard.
”W-wait. Haa-chan.”
Dragged by the hand, I left the living room. Huh!? This is the changing room!!
Haa-chan entered the camera-free changing room and stripped naked.
”W-w-wait, Haa-chan, hold on!”
Technically, look. There’s a rule against direct stuff…
”I’m sorry for breaking the rules. But if I don’t do this, Aku… no. Papa won’t understand Haa.”
The ‘Papa’ call is baaaaaack! Wait, that’s not the point!
Haa-chan stared at me in her birthday suit.
”Haa… I don’t have big boobs like First Sister or Begonia or Emily-san, but my secondary sexual characteristics have started. So, look at Haa’s body properly.”
She lifted her small chest to emphasize it. When I first met her, she was in 4th grade. A year has passed, she’s in 5th, and next year she’ll be in 6th. I stared at her body, which had become just a little more feminine.
”My parts are still small, but if I have sex with Papa, I can properly… make a baby, you know? If Papa does lewd things to Haa, I can become a mama like Second Sister.”
”Haa-chan…”
I punched my own side with full force. I thought about punching my face, but that would cause trouble for many people, so I stopped.
”Pa, Papa!?”
She looked shocked by my action. Sorry, Haa-chan. Making you make a face like that… I’m disqualified as a Papa!!
”Haa-chan, sorry. I’ve always treated you like a child. But from today on, I’ll see you as a girl.”
”Papa.”
I took off my outer garment and gently draped it over her to hide her body. Then I knelt on both knees and spoke to her gently at eye level.
”But I want you to cherish your body more. You’re still growing, and getting pregnant now would surely be bad for your body.”
”Un…”
”Because I love Haa-chan, I want you to take care of yourself. Even if we’re in love, we don’t need to rush.”
”So, why don’t we grow our relationship slowly, matching your body’s growth? I don’t think it’s too late to wait for your body to catch up to your heart. After all, Haa-chan and I will be together forever from now on.”
”Papa…!”
She hugged me tightly. I gently patted her back.
”Come on, put the clothes you took off back on before you catch a cold.”
”Okay.”
I pulled away and tried to leave the changing room. Phew, I wondered what would happen for a moment, but I’m glad she’s a smart girl. And it was the truth that I didn’t want to force her.
”…Papa.”
”Hmm?”
I stopped at her call and looked back. Haa-chan took a condom packet out of my outer garment’s pocket and held it to her mouth.
”I’ll wait to make a baby until I’m an adult. But Papa didn’t say we couldn’t have sex, so if we use a rubber, it’s okay, right? First Sister said physical compatibility is important, so I hope my body is compatible with Papa’s. Ah, saying sex is no good later is against the rules. The textbook said sexual activity is possible even at my age.”
Victoria-samaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!? Wh-what are you teaching your youngest sister?!
I frantically confiscated the rubber from Haa-chan and fled the scene.
””Ah.””
I nearly crashed into Tsukasa-sensei—no, Keito—at my escape destination. But with my amazing reflexes, I grabbed her arm as she was about to fall and slammed my other hand against the wall in a kabe-don to maintain balance.
”A-are you okay?”
”I’m fine… wait.”
Keito looked at my hand. There, clutched tightly, was the condom I had just confiscated.
”A-Aqua-kun… I-if you’re okay with me, please use it.”
”N-no, this is!!”
I started stammering excuses. Just then, Reira-san arrived.
”Aqua-kun!? Tsukasa-sensei!? That rubber in your hand… Congratulations!!”
”No, I’m telling you it’s different!!”
I tried to persuade Reira-san, who was crying tears of joy. Ah, geez! I just want to have a normal romance, so why does it always turn out like this?! And so, our reality show ended in a total mess on the final day.
* * *
Fran: “Hmm, so Ayana-senpai’s love started with a kiss from Aqua-sama… note, note.”
Ayana: “Hey, wait!?”
Maron: “Heh, so Ayana-chan kissed Aqua-kun before dating. Neenee, about when was that?”
Yukari: “Ping! Could it be when you two co-starred in tag? I think it was raining heavily then…”
Ayana: “Wa, wait, Yukari-senpai, stop!!”
Iria: “As expected of my rival Ayana. You work fast.”
Emily: “Guhehe! Ayana-chan is a closet pervert, note note.”
Ayana: “Mooooooooo! Aqua’s an idiot!!”
Aqua: “Eh? Me?!”
Kanon: “I mean, asking Kukuri-chan to kiss you led to this.”
Kukuri: (Nods silently)
Yukari: “Good grief, what are you doing. Idiot.”
Or something like that.
—
Summary:
As the reality show nears its end, Aqua’s attempts at romance spiral into comedy. He fails to woo the pure-hearted Hisui, gets accidentally smothered by Kukuri during a kiss, and barely survives a precocious seduction attempt by Haa-chan involving a stolen condom. The chaos culminates in a hallway misunderstanding with Keito and Reira, proving that for this former soldier-turned-idol, normal love is the hardest mission of all.
—
Character Insight:
Haa-chan’s terrifying intelligence is on full display here. Unlike her sisters, she uses logic to corner Aqua, blending innocence with dangerous knowledge passed down from Victoria. She represents the specific trope of the ‘precocious child’ who bypasses emotional barriers with blunt biological facts, forcing Aqua into the role of a frantic guardian rather than a romantic lead.
—
Behind the Scene:
The ‘military training’ flashback implies Aqua’s agency was actually a government project creating super-soldiers. The instructors’ dialogue reveals they genuinely believed they were saving the world by letting him debut as an idol to recruit more men. This absurdity underpins Aqua’s physical feats—his wall-don reflexes aren’t just cool; they’re military-grade combat maneuvers ingrained into his muscle memory.
—
T/L:
1. The sensation of softness mentioned here implies contact with the chest area, a common trope in harem anime referred to as ‘lucky lecher’ moments, though Aqua treats it with surprising analytical calm. ↩
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Edited by Kanaa-senpai.
Thanks for reading.
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