Volume 13 Chapter 411 Bulletin Board, Aqua-sama and the Meteorite Panic
Edited by: Kanaa-senpai
1 Verification Team*07218KADO6
It’s power. Let’s just believe in the power.
3 Anonymous
>>1
Hey Hagetoru. If you’ve got time to start a shit-thread go clean out your HDD right now!!
6 Anonymous
>>3
Even in a situation like this worrying about the porn stash on your hard drive… that is such a Bulletin Board vibe
9 Anonymous
>>1
Hey don’t just default to ‘power’! It’s gotta be the Hoge-lar Wave² after all! Can’t we somehow use the power of ‘hoge’ to push that meteor back!?
11 Anonymous
>>9
Whether it’s ‘power’ or ‘hoge’ the key is Morikawa either way. Let’s somehow rally the strength of us Bulletin Boarders and launch Morikawa into space!!
14 Anonymous
>>11
Launch Morikawa into space? Then what the hell is she supposed to do!?
17 Anonymous
>>14
Who cares! Morikawa will figure it out! With power! Or hoge!!
20 Anonymous
>>17
Is it really okay to just dump the most important part of the plan onto Morikawa who’s literally ‘off the charts’? The fact that no one here even doubts it… that’s true Bulletin Board quality
23 Anonymous
>>20
Because she’s such an immeasurable woman that humanity can’t even gauge her maybe she can even handle a meteor!?
26 Anonymous
>>23
Fair point
28 Anonymous
>>26
That actually tracks
31 Anonymous
Even if we launch her into space what are we doing for a shuttle? Are we gonna tie Morikawa to a rocket from the States with some rope and just hurl her into the void? I mean Morikawa is sturdy enough that she might actually survive the stratosphere without burning up but still…
34 Anonymous
>>31
You’re overhyping Morikawa way too much!! Even Morikawa is gonna burn up once she hits the stratosphere!!
37 Anonymous
>>34
There’s a guy named Aqua-sama who was totally fine after falling from 10000 feet. Don’t try to measure the Church of Power³ with your puny common sense…
40 Anonymous
>>37
Setting the shuttle procurement aside for a second-if we could get one Nee-san can pilot a space shuttle. So if we Bulletin Boarders can just figure out the shuttle we can get Morikawa into space
43 Anonymous
>>40
Huh?
45 Anonymous
>>43
Wait what?
47 Anonymous
>>40
Say again?
51 Anonymous
Come to think of it before Nee-san worked at Beryl Entertainment⁴ wasn’t she a section manager at Amami Aerospace the ones who develop space shuttles?
56 Anonymous
>>51
All the old-school fans know that. But still even if Nee-san can fly one it’s not like any of us Bulletin Boarders actually own a space shuttle…
60 Anonymous
About the fact that the joke of ‘launching Morikawa into space’ just got one step closer to reality. Well with this many people on the Bulletin Board maybe at least one person owns a shuttle lol
63 Anonymous
>>60
Maybe it’s my imagination but I feel like the meteor heading for Earth just slowed down a tiny bit. I felt a cosmic vibration!! Is this the Hoge-lar Wave!?
67 Anonymous
>>63
Hell yeah! Even Meteor-san is shaking in their boots at our ultimate weapon Morikawa!!
70 Anonymous
Man this place is as stupid as ever. It’s the best. I’m actually feeling a bit more positive now. And I’m starting to feel like if Morikawa is there everything will work out!!
73 Anonymous
>>70
We don’t just have Morikawa in Japan; we’ve got Aqua-sama too!!
76 Anonymous
I love how Bulletin Boarders try to solve everything through the brute force of Morikawa and Aqua-sama lol
80 Anonymous
While riots are breaking out in the rest of the world Japan is so peaceful…
84 Anonymous
>>80
The very first thing I thought when I woke up the day after the announcement: “Ugh I have to go to work…”
87 Anonymous
>>84
That is the most Japanese thing I’ve ever heard…
90 Anonymous
>>84
That’s the saddest story I’ve heard all day
92 Anonymous
Japanese people would probably still show up at the office on the day the meteor actually hits nano
95 Anonymous
>>92
So true lol
98 Anonymous
And they’d probably still do their nightly wank and get a good night’s sleep on the night of the announcement too
101 Anonymous
>>98
How the hell did you know I was secretly wanking last night!?
103 Anonymous
>>98>>101
Confirmed Bulletin Boarders through and through
108 Anonymous
Well it’s not like panicking is going to help us. If anything has changed since the announcement… it’s just that the boys have disappeared from the streets again?
111 Anonymous
>>108
Can’t be helped. There was that incident overseas where a group of elementary school boys almost got gang-r*ped. Even in Japan male students switched to online classes immediately and the men who work in offices went straight back to WFH. They’re supposedly ‘watching the situation’ but honestly it’ll probably stay like this until the meteor thing is dealt with
115 Anonymous
>>111
It’s so frustrating when we finally had a good thing going… I’m a school teacher and it almost made me cry when one of the boys said he was sad he couldn’t go to school anymore just when it was starting to get fun
118 Anonymous
>>115
Hearing that just makes me feel totally helpless
121 Anonymous
It’s like the streets have gone back to how they were before Aqua-sama showed up…
126 Anonymous
>>121
I’m really starting to realize how lucky we actually were
130 Anonymous
Are the boys at Beryl Entertainment on hiatus for now too?
134 Anonymous
>>130
Yeah. I got a call from an older woman at Beryl ahead of time asking ‘There will be no male cast members on that day will that be alright?’ They offered a refund or priority booking for when the male cast is allowed back so I agreed. But has anyone actually seen what it’s like inside right now?
138 Anonymous
>>134
I went just because I wanted to buy merch. The female cast members were working their asses off to make sure everyone had fun since the guys weren’t there
141 Anonymous
>>134
For the play Lord Kukuri-chan and Subaru-tan came out in male drag to replace the male cast and it was freaking incredible
145 Anonymous
>>141
Huh!?
148 Anonymous
>>141
Lord Kukuri-chan and Subaru-chan in guy’s clothes!? Isn’t that actually way rarer!?
150 Anonymous
>>141
As expected of Beryl… They never miss a chance to mess with our heads!!
153 Anonymous
>>150
Lol
155 Anonymous
>>150
Right! Beryl is literally coming for our sanity!!
158 Anonymous
’It’s basically either Aqua-sama or Beryl’s fault.’ …is what Aqua-sama himself said
162 Anonymous
>>158
Lmao he finally officially acknowledged it
165 Anonymous
Damn now I really want to go to Wonderland… Tickets should be easier to get now right? Is there a chance!?
168 Anonymous
>>165
No way. The second the info from 141 leaked all the cancellation slots were gone in a heartbeat
171 Anonymous
>>168
You’ve gotta be kidding me!?
173 Anonymous
>>168
How many people are actually lurking in this shit-thread lol
176 Anonymous
You guys are seriously something else LOL. In the rest of the world people are huddling in churches and praying!!
180 Anonymous
>>176
We’re gathering at the Holy Aqua Faith⁵ church too praying to the phallic statue of our Lord!! Praying for one last chance before we die!! A-qu-a!!
184 Anonymous
>>180
You guys are honestly… something else
187 Anonymous
>>180
You really never change…
190 Anonymous
It’s much better than being overly pessimistic or losing your mind in despair
193 Anonymous
>>190
This!
196 Anonymous
The Holy Aqua Faith has its own private underground shelters you know. They actually designed and reinforced the church itself to withstand a decent amount of impact
201 Anonymous
>>196
Are you serious lol
203 Anonymous
>>196
That religion is as insane as ever lol
207 Anonymous
Apparently Shirogane Kingdom⁶ which the Holy Aqua Faith is helping build has an underground shelter too. My friend works there and they told her she can use it if something happens
210 Anonymous
>>207
Alright! Then Aqua-sama will be safe!!
212 Anonymous
>>207
As long as Aqua-sama Kanon-sama and the kids are safe I’m good
216 Anonymous
Oh an announcement finally came from the Japanese government. They’re prioritizing children for the underground shelter spots
219 Anonymous
>>216
Good. The Congressmen who already gave up their spots and accepted their fate were all standing and applauding in the Diet
224 Anonymous
>>219
The Congressmen might have given up their spots in a show of unity but who the hell is going to lead this country after the meteor hits?
228 Anonymous
>>224
Lord Kukuri-chan. Besides Agewa-san can probably just use the Shirogane Kingdom shelter even without the government one right?
231 Anonymous
>>224
Prime Minister Habu has already nominated Lord Kukuri-chan and both she and the Diet have approved it
235 Anonymous
Thinking about the future the young and charismatic Lord Kukuri-chan is the best choice. With Kanon-sama Emily-sama and even Aqua-sama being close in age and supporting her it’ll work out
239 Anonymous
Is it really only young people getting into the shelters nano?
242 Anonymous
>>239
There are special skill slots and random lottery slots for the elderly too. But I’m planning to decline mine. Apparently people who decline can set certain conditions so I want mine to go to someone younger than me
245 Anonymous
>>242
Same here. I’m just glad I got to see Aqua-sama at the end of my life. I have no regrets left
249 Anonymous
>>242>>245
You guys don’t give up yet!! We still have our ultimate weapon Morikawa!!
252 Anonymous
>>249
Lmao
255 Anonymous
>>249
The Bulletin Boarders Who Desperately Want Morikawa to Solve Everything VS Meteor-san. The real question is still how to get Morikawa into space
258 Verification Team*07218KADO6
FLASH: Morikawa saw this thread and had a lightbulb moment: ‘Wait that’s it!’ and she’s started doing ‘straight punches’ in the garden of Shirogane Kingdom to prepare to push back the falling meteor!!
262 Anonymous
>>258
HERE WE GO!
265 Anonymous
>>258
We’ve won! I’m going to go take a bath!!
267 Anonymous
>>258
No way LMAO
270 Anonymous
>>258
LOL lmfao
274 Anonymous
It always comes back to Morikawa. In the end power fixes everything!!
278 Anonymous
Come to think of it I remember Aqua-kun mentioned on a stream once that he was doing ‘punches of gratitude’ outside to try and handle the meteor and Kohina Yukari just called him a ‘dumbass’
282 Anonymous
>>278
As expected of Aqua-sama!!
285 Anonymous
>>278
Meteor-san: ‘Oh… crap’
289 Anonymous
>>285
Your mistake was messing with the planet where Aqua-sama and Morikawa live!!
291 Anonymous
Morikawa is an idiot so whatever but Aqua-tan LMAO
294 Anonymous
To be honest, the situation is looking pretty grim, but I’ve got this weird feeling that it’ll all work out somehow. If I look at it objectively, we’re screwed… is this what they call “Peace-boke¹“?
297 Anonymous
>>294
It’s fine to be out of it! My grandma’s so far gone she sees Aqua-sama on screen and goes, “Who’s this?! Who is this prince?!” every single time. She gets to experience the sheer shock of seeing him for the first time over and over! When I told her I was jealous, she just gave me this smug grin.
301 Anonymous
>>297
Wait, hold up! Is it possible Aqua-sama’s aura is actually curing her dementia?!
304 Anonymous
>>301
LOL
306 Anonymous
>>301
Actually, the Hogewave Institute just put out a paper on that. It’s the “Aqua Impact” phenomenon-basically, the “Hoge-lar Waves” generated by the shock of seeing him are so potent they stimulate brain cells and overwrite cognitive decline…
310 Anonymous
>>306
As expected of Aqua-sama. Curing terminal illnesses just by existing!! …Wait, you’re pulling our leg, right?!
315 Anonymous
>>306
That’s our Aqua-sama. They say he’s boosted the national life expectancy, raised the health index, and can even shrink tumors. Why are we freaking out over a “meteorite”-it’s just a pebble falling from the sky!
319 Anonymous
Until yesterday, I was in despair and couldn’t even look at the Bulletin Board, but I’m glad I came here today. It made me feel stupid for worrying about something as trivial as a meteorite falling!
323 Anonymous
By the way, has everyone from BERYL safely returned to Japan yet? I heard the world tour got scrapped after just the first day.
326 Anonymous
>>323
Guarded by the States military, they all came back on a chartered plane. However, it seems like none of them are going to school right now.
330 Anonymous
>>326
The stuff currently recorded is fine, but I wonder if we won’t be able to see Aqua-sama on TV for the time being…
334 Anonymous
>>330
Yamada-kun said that until they can resume filming for Driver, they’ll be broadcasting reruns of Heaven’s Sword!
337 Anonymous
>>334
Are you serious…
341 Anonymous
Right now, filming has stopped for dramas and movies featuring men, too. It can’t be helped, but it really feels like we’ve regressed to the time before Aqua-sama appeared…
346 Anonymous
>>341
That’s why you have a backlog, you amateur!! These kids are so spoiled by the constant supply they’ve gone numb. Back in my day, if a guy so much as flashed on screen, we’d watch that VHS until the tape snapped! Compared to that, we owe Aqua-kun and the boys everything for giving us two years’ worth of “rations.”
349 Anonymous
>>346
Preach!
351 Anonymous
>>346
Hard agree!!
355 Anonymous
>>346
Damn, the veteran stans hit different. They’re already bunkered down for a war of attrition with their hard drives.
358 Anonymous
It’s not a total blackout! They’re airing Driver and ‘Berry-Berry’ up to the point where filming was finished. Also, since Aqua-kun and the others have their streams, it doesn’t seem like the supply will be completely gone.
362 Anonymous
>>358
Toa-chan posted on social media! He said he’ll start streaming again once things settle down a bit!!
365 Anonymous
>>362
YES!!
368 Anonymous
>>362
I need that OG collab! Aqua-tan, Mayushin-kun, and Toa-chan playing sandbox games like the old days!!
372 Anonymous
>>368
Tenga-senpai: “…”
376 Anonymous
>>372
Get Tenga-senpai in there too!!
380 Anonymous
To anyone reading this who’s lost hope: Go outside. Look at the people around you. Everyone is fighting to stay alive. Don’t you dare give up!! Besides, the news said there’s still a chance the meteorite’s trajectory will shift.
383 Anonymous
>>380
Exactly!
386 Anonymous
EMERGENCY UPDATE FROM BERYL ENTERTAINMENT! Aqua-sama is going to appear on a live national broadcaster!!
389 Anonymous
IT’S HAPPENING!!
391 Anonymous
WOOOOOOOOOOH!
394 Anonymous
>>386
As expected of Aqua-sama. Even in a situation like this, he just goes out normally to appear on a live broadcast. Even though there are police and soldiers guarding the front of the house where the local boys live…
397 Anonymous
The national broadcaster just ran a breaking news ticker. Aqua-sama is going live!!
401 Anonymous
I’m going to call my cousin who’s been feeling down. I’ll tell her she needs to watch, even if it’s just Aqua-sama’s broadcast!!
405 Anonymous
>>401
I’m calling my partner who’s been cooped up!
408 Anonymous
Aqua-sama, to think he’s going on TV so soon even though he just got back Nano. It wouldn’t be strange for a man to become mentally unstable, but he’s way more composed than I am.
413 Anonymous
>>408
Because he’s that kind of Aqua-sama, that’s why I’ve followed him this far. Even if this Earth is destroyed, I’ll follow Aqua-sama until the end!!
416 Anonymous
>>413
As expected of the older sisters on the Bulletin Board!! Their resolve is set! I’ll keep stanning Aqua-sama until the very end, too!!
419 Verification Team*010meTA473
What is this thread… I saw Kaede-senpai doing something in the yard and I just knew Hagetoru was behind this.
422 Anonymous
>>419
Tashinami… I’m leaving the rest to you! I will become a meat shield for Aqua-sama!!
425 Anonymous
>>422
I like that. I want to die protecting my oshi too!!
428 Anonymous
>>422
Aqua-sama has taken great care of me until now. In many ways! I’ll become a meat shield too and protect the Shirogane Kingdom!!
431 Verification Team*010meTA473
Wait, wait, wait, everyone calm down! Prime Minister Habu and President Maitrix are working really hard to stop the collision! Let’s all put our hopes in that first, okay? Right.
434 Anonymous
>>431
That’s true.
436 Anonymous
>>431
It’s hilarious how you’re the most level-headed one here LOL. This is why Bulletin Board people are… they immediately want to become meat shields for their favorites!
440 Anonymous
>>431
If you can, please tell that to the idiot doing fist thrusts in the garden and the other idiot egging her on. We were obviously joking about sending Morikawa into space.
443 Anonymous
>>440
Wait, what?
446 Anonymous
>>443
Huh?
449 Anonymous
>>446
Seriously?
452 Anonymous
You guys, seriously LMAO.
455 Anonymous
Everyone’s joking, right? Right??
458 Verification Team*CHiMPOsuki
Eh? You weren’t serious…?
462 Anonymous
>>458
LOL
464 Anonymous
>>458
Of course we’re serious!!
467 Verification Team*9n2SARETAi
Everyone, please don’t tease Kaede-san too much.
470 Anonymous
>>467
Yes, ma’am!
473 Anonymous
>>467
Sorry, Sis!! Hey, Hagetoru. Hurry up and close this trash thread!!
476 3510*ULTi-Hi-P3
Geez! 3510 is already busy as it is, so stop making more work for me, you old hags! Hmph! Seriously, everyone thinks that just because 3510 is a computer, I don’t get tired, so they just pile on the work!! Once this is all over, I’m filing a grievance with the Labor Board for AI overwork!!
—
Summary:
A catastrophic meteor event has sent the world into a panic, but the Japanese Bulletin Board remains a bastion of absurd humor and unwavering faith in their local ‘final weapons.’ As riots occur globally, the BBS users debate launching the indestructible Morikawa into space to punch the meteor back. Despite the humor, the chapter reveals the dark reality of a world with a skewed gender ratio, as men disappear from the streets for safety, reverting the brief period of social progress.
A meteorite collision threatens Earth, causing widespread panic and social unrest. Fans of the male idol group BERYL, particularly Aqua, find hope and distraction in their idol’s activities. The chapter concludes with the announcement of Aqua’s live national broadcast, which serves as a beacon of stability for the frantic public.
—
Trivia:
- The ‘Aqua Impact’ theory suggests Aqua’s presence has a biological effect on fans, potentially hinting at supernatural or enhanced origins.
- The heavy military escort for male idols highlights the extreme value and fragility of men in this world’s society.
- The mention of ‘3510’ wanting to report to the Labor Board hints at the advanced, perhaps sentient, nature of AI in this setting.
- The mention of ‘Nee-san’ working at Amami Aerospace suggests she will be pivotal in any actual space-faring attempt.
- The ‘phallic statue’ in the Aqua church highlights the extreme fertility-centric/male-scarcity culture of this world.
- Morikawa beginning ‘straight punches’ mirrors Aqua’s previous actions, suggesting a shared ‘Church of Power’ logic that might actually be effective.
- The quick shift to online school and WFH for men reflects how fragile their societal inclusion is in this reality
—
Character Insight:
The Bulletin Board users (‘older sisters’) demonstrate a shift from utter despair to fanatical devotion, willing to become ‘meat shields’ for Aqua. This reinforces the deity-like status he holds over his fanbase.
The Bulletin Board users show a parasocial devotion to Aqua and Morikawa, viewing them as gods capable of defying physics. The relationship between the government and the ‘Beryl’ entertainment faction is solidified as Kukuri is nominated as the successor leader, showing that in this world, charisma and idol-like status translate directly into political power.
—
Lore And Worldbuilding Context:
The ‘Shirogane Kingdom’ appears to be a fan-led or idol-centric enclave. The world is on the brink of an extinction event, yet media management and idol protection remain high governmental priorities.
The Shirogane Kingdom is confirmed as a semi-autonomous faction with its own advanced underground infrastructure. The Holy Aqua Faith is more than just a religion; it’s a defensive organization with fortified architecture. Global politics are shown to be unstable compared to Japan’s eerie, work-obsessed calm.
—
TL Notes:
The term ‘Peace-boke’ was localized to reflect the stupor of a society too accustomed to long-term stability. The 3510 character’s dialogue was adjusted to reflect a mix of robotic duty and human-like annoyance.
The choice to keep ‘(Male)’ next to Aqua’s name reflects the raw text’s emphasis on his s*x, which is a rare and sacred trait in this setting.
—
Glossary:
Notes:
• Aqua – Charismatic male idol of BERYL, tall and prince‑like, known as ‘Aqua‑sama’, wields a legendary sword. Student at Otomezaki Academy, husband of Yukishiro Emily, rival to the Chairman. Central figure of Holy Aqua Faith and Church of Power; his scent and pheromones incapacitate women, he can turn lesbians submissive by touch, uses Aqua Impact healing, and survived a 10,000‑ft fall.
• Kukuri – Sharp‑eyed, silver‑haired charismatic young leader, nominated by PM Habu to head Japan after the meteor strike, serves as Student Council Vice‑President at Otomezaki Academy. Known as a potentially dangerous figure, he recently performed in male drag at Beryl, blending academic authority with avant‑garde artistry.
• Subaru – A cast member at Beryl who recently performed in male drag.
• Kanon – Aqua’s wife, a high‑profile idol known as Kanon‑sama, is a celebrated fashion icon whose signature style fans copy. Fans call her cool, jealous, and the Internet Master. She’s the figure Aqua constantly makes excuses to.
• Emily – Emily (Yukishiro Emily), a beautiful, graceful descendant of the Yukishiro family, is a female talent famed for vocal impressions — especially Kanon — and winner of the ‘Impression King’ title. She regularly collaborates with Shirogane Aqua on variety shows and is one of his wives.
• Kohina Yukari – Female idol‑actress with a striking cowlick hair, battling a severe flu and nasal congestion, portrays the General in a Taiga drama; she rolls on tatami mats, picks her nose in‑character, and often works with Shirogane Aqua. Though a shut‑in, she maintains a surprisingly toned physique and dreams of motherhood.
• Toa – A male idol and member of BERYL. He is active on social media and known for streaming crafting games with Aqua.
• Kaede – A member of the Verification Team who is seen practicing fist thrusts in the garden. An immeasurable woman described as a ‘Final Weapon’. Possesses incredible sturdiness, potentially capable of surviving stratosphere entry. Currently performing straight-punches in Shirogane Kingdom to repel a meteor.
• Tashinami – Alias for Kanon. A female participant in the stream/board community. Teased by the ‘Tashinami-mom’ faction for being motherly yet needing protection. Prone to klutziness around Aqua.
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Edited by Kanaa-senpai.
Thanks for reading.
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